accidental babies
sawyer/kate, kate/juliet
rated r, dark! fic, post-the brig, slightly AU
spoilers to "the brig" and "every man for himself".
warning! don't read if you're offended by dark themes.
i don't own the show, the characters, the the lyrics to the song clementine to which i alluse alot, nor the title which i stole from a song by damien rice.
this is one of my experimental fics, again. it's kind of twisted and bitter and angry. i wonder if anyone can even make sense of it? i adore kate and sawyer and i have no idea why i write them so nasty all the time. :D
the secrets were out.
he had a daughter. she was called clementine.
clementine
oh my darling, oh my darling.
clementine with her ruby lips and her smile.
-
it hurt her more than anything.
he had killed and he had lied and conned, but the fact that he had a daughter hurt her the most.
or what hurt her the most was:
a, he had a daughter
b, he hadn't told her
c, he had left her
"she's better off without me," he said without meeting her eyes. "she has a better life without me screwing it up."
-
she can almost feel it growing inside of her. tiny feet and tiny fingers. a perfect combination of the two of them.
first it's a boy with a mischievous smile and freckles dotted on his cheeks.
then a girl with sun-kissed hair and tanned skin.
then it's a perfect combination of their faults and vices - she or he will learn to lie, to run away and to fight, to cheat. To kill.
-
"yes, i'm sure!" she snaps when he asks yet again. "i'm not pregnant, sawyer."
he's softer now since he got back from his trek with locke. he got his revenge. he got his absolution (by killing, she thinks.)
he's james now. she's tries to be happy for him but she's still tied to her past.
tiger don't change its stripes. she chuckles at the thought.
apparently they do, after all. sometimes.
-
she finds juliet across the beach.
she presses a gun against her head. "you've got to help me."
juliet takes her to the medical station and lays her down on a gurney. there are no sedatives so it's hurts like hell but she doesn't mind. she thinks she deserves the pain.
"i just couldn't," she whispers afterwards and juliet nods. i understand can be read behind the cold blue waters of her eyes and kate's relieved.
she forces her lips upon hers. just to feel soft and warm and good again.
she holds her hand for the rest of the night.
-
she thinks of the little girl somewhere far away from the island. she's got wavy blonde hair, a bright smile and skin that turns to light bronze under the sun.
oh my darling, oh my darling.
she and sawyer together would've never equaled a happy healthy child.
he would have never wanted it.