A/N: I wrote this for Stress' drabble contest. The theme challenge was missed opportunities. So yes, here it is. Oh, and I don't own Sarah or Jack or Newsies; Disney does. Enjoy and please review (insert smiley here).
She had to end it. Tonight. The more time that passed, the harder it would be to do. That's what her mother had said time and again. If she intended to have the life she had always dreamed of, she would have to let him go. But it was so hard. Her leg bounced as she sat on her bed staring out the window. At any moment, the knock at her door would come and it would be time to finish it all.
She had first been attracted to his confident smile and his gallant ways. He was a dreamer, a rebel, a flashy hero and not to mention handsome. He was the street rat who had risen up against his very rich and very avaricious oppressors. He was Jack Kelly, the name seemed to say it all. But Jack Kelly hadn't changed much since the strike, save the increased arrogance, and Sarah was a year older and looking towards the future. Her mother had been married by Sarah's age and reminded the oldest Jacobs child of this constantly.
"What kind of life do you see with Jack? He's a nice boy and all…" Sarah hated that conversation. Mostly because she knew her mother was right. She should be thinking of moving up in the world.
Sarah shook her head at this thought. As much as she wanted to believe it, it still hurt her. Did she love him? Was this why she was so reluctant to be done with him? Well, no. She didn't love him, she didn't think, but she wasn't ready to go searching for a serious suitor. Despite the maturity everyone else saw in her, she wasn't ready to make the move to wife.
"Sarah, you remember what we talked about?" Her mother's rasping voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Yes, Ma, I remember!" She snapped.
"You watch your tone, Sarah Jacobs. You're not too old to be smacked." She paused and then continued, "This is for the best Sarah. This is the best for your future. I know it's hard…."
Sarah stopped listening and took note of her mother's contradiction: She wasn't old enough to avoid a beating, yet she was too old to be playing at romance with Jack Kelly. She turned away from her mother and towards the window to hide her scowl.
What was it that she wanted? She wasn't sure. There was Jack with his cowboy hat and his handkerchief and his ink stained hands or there was someone else, with a smart beard and an established occupation, ironed clothes, and the scent of spicy cologne. There was fun and there was marriage and prosperity. The two things seemed to be at opposite ends of the relationship spectrum.
The knock came, startling Sarah more than she had expected, and cutting her mother's lecture short. Mrs. Jacobs answered the door per usual, and Sarah tried to block out the polite exchange between the two, knowing that her mother's insincere niceties would only make her nauseous. She took a moment to wipe away the sweat that had suddenly collected on her forehead. With a deep breath, she stepped into the front room.
"Well, here she is," her mother was saying cheerily. Sarah wanted to glare, but kept it together for Jack's sake. She crossed the room to the doorway and accepted a peck from Jack. After tightly bidding her mother farewell, the couple left the apartment hand in hand.
"You ok?" Jack asked from her side after they had left her neighborhood behind. He looked at her with his hazel eyes, concern masking his usual smirk.
"Course. Why?" She played dumb, not sure of what her next move should be.
"Well, you've been a bit off since we left your place. Anythin' you wanna tell me?" He ran a hand through his floppy brown hair.
Sarah held her breath for a moment. Could he know? Or was he just trying to figure out what was wrong? Well, it didn't matter. This is when she would make her mother happy and leave herself open to a happier and more secure future. She would tell Jack that she couldn't see him anymore…because it just didn't make sense to do so. She would tell him that she was thinking of settling down and starting a family because that's what she was supposed to do. This was it. She'd tell him now.
"Jack, I'm sorry…" Sarah began. Her eyes dropped to the hands she was nervously wringing. She looked towards Jack who had opted to awkwardly shove his hands into his grey pockets. She thought about the calloused hand that had just held her soft pale one minutes ago. Those hands that pushed hair out of her face when no one was looking or rested on her knee beneath tables. She looked up and saw him waiting for her to continue. He now looked more perplexed than concerned, but he didn't take his eyes off of her. It was now or never.
But in an unexpected act of affection, Jack removed his hands from his pockets and wrapped his arms around her. Sarah couldn't help but be surprised. His displays of public affection were usually limited to moments of unexpected excitement or alcohol – induced freedom. She sighed heavily and rested her cheek against his shoulder. It was so comfortable in his arms; the feel of his strong wiry frame against her, the familiar smell of perspiration and dust…
"It's…I had an argument with my mother…" She felt guilty and, at the same time, extremely relieved. She knew Jack wouldn't understand the mother vs. daughter battles she was alluding to, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was hugging her. If Mr. Rich-Smart-Perfect walked past her at this very moment, it wouldn't matter and 10 years from now, she hoped she wouldn't look back with regret.