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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Letting Go
Harry Potter walked slowly down the long corridor. He was heading to Dumbledore's office. He had seen far too much of it in the past seven years. Harry ran a hand though his already untidy black hair and sighed.
It had been over three months since the death of Sirius, and yet Harry still found himself thinking about his godfather everyday. Sometimes he would dream about him. And then he would wake up, his heart aching, and begin the grieving process once more.
It helped now that he was with his friends again. At least there was some distraction. While spending the summer at the Dursleys', there had been nothing to stop him from thinking of Sirius for hours at a time.
Harry shoved his hands into the pockets of his robes. The halls were so quiet. He could hear nothing but his own low breathing. Dumbledore had sent an owl to him that morning, requesting him to come to his office after classes. Harry had no idea what he wanted, but jumped at the chance to do something to take his mind off of past events. His only worry was that someone else was hurt. But surely Dumbledore would have felt that an urgent enough matter to tell him about before class.
Harry finally reached the stone gargoyle that led up to Dumbledore's office. "Remember Black," he said softly. Harry smiled grimly. He was glad Dumbledore had made that the password. It made him feel like Sirius was protecting the castle. The gargoyle jumped aside and Harry walked up the spiral staircase to Dumbledore's office.
He went in without announcing himself. Dumbledore was already watching the doorway when he came in. "Hello, Harry," Dumbledore said quietly. "How are you?"
Harry shrugged. He wasn't quite up to going into his feelings today. He hoped that wasn't what Dumbledore had planned. Harry sat down in front of Dumbledore's desk and stared at the Headmaster, waiting for him to begin.
"I have asked you to come here today, Harry, because I have realized what a danger it has been to hold information from you," Dumbledore said softly. "I also feel you should be aware of something what with the recent passing of your godfather." He said this all very matter-of-factly and Harry felt himself getting inexplicably angry at Dumbledore for not showing any emotion. How could he talk about Sirius's death as if was something that did not matter?
"Do you recall three months ago, when you came out of the Department of Mysteries, and we spoke of a locked room inside the Department?" he asked.
Harry nodded. Despite his somber mood, he felt himself becoming a bit curious. He could not recall what Dumbledore had said was in the room. "What's in it?" Harry questioned.
"It is hard to explain," he began. "It is a force more powerful than even death. It is love, Harry. As for what exactly is in the room, I could not begin to try and decipher it. There are only a few people that have access to the Department of Mysteries, Harry, but I have convinced the Unspeakables to let me take you there. You see, I want you to experience this room yourself. There is something I wish for you to know, and I think it will help you deal with the pain that this war has thrust upon you."
Harry had no idea what Dumbledore was talking about. How could love be in a room? He did not ask this question aloud. He assumed he would understand when he went into the room. "When am I going?"
"Right now," Dumbledore stated. He took a jar from the mantle above his fireplace and handed it to Harry. "We shall go by Floo Powder." Dumbledore took a handful of powder, went into the fireplace, threw it down, and shouted, "The Ministry of Magic!"
Harry copied him and found himself in a large room filled with fireplaces. He remembered being here when he had come to the Ministry for his hearing. Dumbledore began walking away and Harry hurried to follow him.
"Don't I have to get my wand checked?" Harry asked.
Dumbledore waved him off. "You do not need to bother with that process today."
He began walking even faster than he had before so Harry had to run to keep up with him. They reached an area filled with many lifts. Dumbledore chose an empty one and they began to descend all the way to the bottom of the Ministry until the doors finally opened and a voice said, "Department of Mysteries."
Harry swallowed painfully. This plain hallway and the black door at the end of it caused the incident at the end of last year to come back to him in full force.
He stopped walking. Dumbledore noticed immediately and turned around to face him. "What is it, Harry?"
"I'm not sure I can go in there," He muttered quietly. Harry knew he was being stupid and irrational. The Department of Mysteries had done nothing wrong. It had been he, Harry, who had caused Sirius's death. But that veil….Sirius had vanished through it.
Dumbledore had an odd expression on his face. Was it pity? Harry wasn't sure. He took a deep breath and began walking forward again, but nothing could quell the feeling of despair that Harry felt as Dumbledore opened the black door. Only three months ago, he had come through this very same door, hoping to save Sirius. And now Sirius was-
"This way, Harry," Dumbledore said for he had stopped walking again.
They went through another door and Harry found himself in a large circular room. Harry sighed. All he had to do was close his eyes and he could picture himself here with Ron, Hermione, Luna, Ginny, and Neville at his side.
The circular wall began rotating, but there was no fear in Harry this time. He only wanted to get on with whatever it was that Dumbledore wanted him here for. When the wall stopped spinning, Dumbledore chose a door to their left. He took out his wand and whispered some spell. The end of his wand transformed into an intricately designed key. Dumbledore inserted the key into the lock and muttered another spell. The door finally opened. Harry craned his neck to see what was inside, but Dumbledore was standing in the doorway, blocking the room's contents from Harry's view.
Dumbledore turned to face him. "I warn you, Harry. When I come to get you in less than an hour, you will not want to leave. That is why this room remains locked. It has the ability, like the Mirror of Erised, to drive someone mad, especially someone like you. Go on, now."
Dumbledore strode away without turning back. With a feeling of foreboding, Harry walked through the doorway.
What greeted him was such an astonishing sight that Harry had to blink several times before he believed what he was seeing was real.
It was Sirius.
But that was not all. The room contained many people; some who were still in Harry's life and also those who had already passed. "Sirius?" Harry choked out; wanting to believe it was true.
Sirius nodded. "It's me, Harry." He gripped Harry in a vice-like hug and didn't let him go for several minutes.
"What are you doing here?" Harry asked, willing the tears that had formed in his eyes not to fall.
"Why don't you ask them," Sirius said pointing to the back of the room. "I think they would rather explain it to you."
Harry lifted his head from Sirius's shoulders and gasped. Standing and smiling in the back of the room were his parents. They were solid and breathing; it was as if that horrible night sixteen years ago had never happened.
Harry walked slowly toward them, not daring to believe it. This could not be real. Surely it was just another dream.
But it was hard to believe it was just a dream when his mother had gathered him up in her arms and was holding on to him so tightly that he could not breathe. She was whispering incoherently, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Mom?" Harry asked. "Is this real?"
She did not answer for a moment as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. She gave a small laugh. "Yes Harry, this is real."
After his mother had finally let him go, Harry moved on to hug his father. His dad ruffled his hair and grinned. "I never thought I'd get to see you. Your mother and I love you so much. We're so proud of you."
Harry beamed. He could not keep the tears in him any longer. They spilled down over his cheeks, but he didn't mind. He was hugging his parents and they were telling him that they loved him. "How is it that you are here?" Harry asked.
"This is the Love Room, Harry," his mother said softly. "This room is able to produce the ones that you have the strongest feelings for; dead or alive. I'm sure you recognize all of these people as the ones that mean the most to you."
Indeed she was correct. Besides his parents and his godfather, Hermione and Ron were there, as were the rest of the Weasleys and Hagrid. Also, Remus and Dumbledore. "What about the people who are still alive? Does that mean that they are here and somewhere else at the same time?" he asked.
"Sort of," James answered. "It's hard to explain. When you walked into this room, the room was able to reproduce those that mean the most to you. So while you are here, there are two versions of the people who are alive. However as soon as you leave, everyone in this room will disappear."
Harry suddenly felt cold. When he left. Dumbledore would be coming to get him in a short amount of time and then he would never get to see his parents or his godfather again. Harry shook the thought from his head.
Harry stared up at his parents. He was still in a daze of disbelief. His mother kissed the top of his head. "I love you so much."
Harry felt a lump in his throat. He could barely choke out, "I love you too."
A minute later, Sirius came over to them. "So how's life on the other side?" he asked, grinning.
Harry smiled. "Not too great without you," he said. "I think about you all the time."
Sirius didn't seem too pleased by this. "Harry, you've got to let go. You're too important to the world, to your friends, to me. You can't spend you life grieving."
Harry nodded. He understood, but it was so hard to follow that advice. "How can I just forget about you?" he asked quietly.
"You don't have to forget about me to let go, Harry," he whispered. "Just remember the good times we had instead of reliving that last moment. I promise we'll be together again someday, but until then, enjoy yourself and live your life." Sirius embraced him once more and Harry tried to take in everything about the moment so it would remain vividly in his memory forever.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Harry's feet felt heavy as he went to answer it. He knew who it was and why he was there. "Harry," came the voice from behind the door, "it's time to leave. You have to say goodbye."
He looked up at his parents and his godfather. The four of them hugged each other for what felt like a long time. Harry wished he could stay here forever. Instead, he would go and, most likely, never see his family again.
"I don't want to go," Harry whispered to them. "I want to stay with you, you're my family."
"Harry," his mother said gently. "Do you really think we're your only family?" She gestured to the other people in the room.
"I suppose your right," Harry said as his eyes lingered on the smiling figure of Mrs. Weasley, the woman who considered him a son. "I love you," he said finally.
"We love you too, Harry," Sirius said. "And remember, we'll see you again, someday."
Harry walked to the door of the Love Room and looked back once more at his parents and Sirius before leaving.
Dumbledore was waiting for him. "Well?" Dumbledore asked.
"What do you want me to say?" Harry asked. "It was my family, but then, you knew that."
"But did you learn anything?" Dumbledore questioned.
Harry shrugged. He was still thinking of the people behind the door, the people that meant the most to him.
"You've learned a very important lesson today, Harry, whether you realize it or not. And for someone who has suffered immense loss in his life, it is an invaluable one," Dumbledore stated.
"Oh yeah?" Harry asked, not really caring. "What's that?"
"No matter what happens in this war, Harry, you will always have love. It will always be there even if the people who represent it are not," he said quietly.
Harry thought about Dumbledore's words as they headed up to the top floor of the Ministry and back to Hogwarts. Perhaps he was right.
When they were back in Dumbledore's office, Harry remembered something. "Sir? You said that the Love Room is the most dangerous of all. I don't understand."
"What is hard to understand at your age, Harry, is that there are fates that are worse than death. That is something that Lord Voldemort cannot understand either," Dumbledore said.
"What's worse than death?" Harry asked.
Dumbledore sighed. "Let me explain it to you this way. You and I both know a man who has suffered a fate worse than death. He has lost two of his best friends in the fight against Lord Voldemort and the other betrayed them all. He has no living relatives and probably feels as if he has lost everyone that he loves. Besides you," Dumbledore added. "I am speaking of course, of Remus Lupin."
Harry imagined losing every person that had been in the Love Room. Dumbledore was right. "But how does that make the room dangerous?" he questioned.
"If you locked someone who had lost many of their loved ones, such as yourself, in that room for a week and then attempted to take them out of it….that person would go mad. It is hard for a man to come face-to-face with love and then have it ripped from his heart. The room has driven many people mad," Dumbledore explained.
Harry nodded and went to leave Dumbledore's office. He was quite tired.
"We have to learn to let go of our loved ones, sometimes," Dumbledore said. "And you, you Harry, must let go of Sirius."
Harry paused and gripped the doorknob tighter than usual. He said nothing as he left Dumbledore's office and went back to the real world; the one where dead mothers did not hug their children, dead fathers did not say 'I love you', and the one where he would have to let go.
AN: Please review!