Pee-wee Herman sat down on Chairy the Chair lovingly. He stroked her soft green apolstery and gave his classic giggle. Chairy gagged and vomited all over Pee-wee's gray suit. Pee-wee kissed his friend.
"Hey Chairy, let's find out the SECRET WORD!" Pee-wee screamed. Chairy's eyes went wide in fright as she fainted. Pee-wee clapped and strolled over to his robotic pal, Conky. He booted Conky up.
"CONKY 2000! READY TO ASSIST YOU!" Conky screeched in his sumptuous mechanical voice.
"Good Morning, Conky. Whats today's SECRET WORD?" Pee-wee hollered.
"HOLY SHIT! N-NOT YOU AGAIN! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Conky shouted.
Pee-wee smiled. "Haha! Oh Conky, don't be like that! Tell the boys and girls the secret word!"
Pee-wee leaned to Conky's robot ears. "If you don't fuckin' tell me that god damn secret word, you metal douchebag, I swear to Magic Screen I will blow your head up." He whispered, positioning his mallet towards Conky's face.
Conky flinched. "O-o-okay! Okay!" Conky sharted out the piece of paper containing the secret word.
Pee-wee cheered. "Hooray! Today's secret word is hurt! You know what to do when everyone says the secret word right?"
Silence.
"RIGHT?!" Pee-wee shrieked, brandishing a giant meat cleaver.
The Playhouse gang screamed in terror.
"That's right, boys and girls! Scream real loud!" Pee-wee giggled, putting his meat cleaver away.
He strolled over to his pal, Pteri the Pterodactyl, to give the secret word a try.
"Hey Pteri, good buddy! How ya doin'?"
Pteri flinched. "Please, Pee-wee! Don't hurt me!"
At the mention of the secret word, Pee-wee screamed as loud as he could, causing poor Pteri's reptile ears to rupture and bleed. He then proceeded to laugh as Pteri then vomited from the pain and fainted.
"Oh, what a beautiful day in our Playhouse!" Pee-wee cheered.
The Playhouse Gang silently weeped, and their chains jingled.
"See you later, boys and girls! Tune in next time, Bye!"
Pee-wee sat on the floor, sharpening his meat cleaver. He couldn't wait for the next episode to begin.