Senseless
By: Hellish
Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice, if I had, I would have made more episodes plus I would have added more romantic angles towards Mikan and Natsume's relationship.
Author's Note: Okay, so I'm wavering farther and farther away from my Harry Potter fan fictions, but I've been recently having this writer's block ever since I was addicted to Gakuen Alice and I found Natsume and Mikan's romance deeply intriguing. One warning though, this is my first attempt to write a Gakuen Alice fan fiction plus I'm a new fan so some details may not be accurate. Spare me the flames, constructive criticism is purely acceptable though.
Summary: To get Mikan out of his mind, Natsume drank himself silly only to find out that his intoxication got the better of him as he landed and slept in her room.
'Some night to get wasted' Natsume thought as he watched the vague light passing through three nearby windows playing tricks with his head making the path look uneven and bent.
He walked through the dimly lighted halls of the academy clutching a bottle of vodka in his right hand.
He really shouldn't be drinking; especially not one bottle but then he found no alternative for his recent confusion.
His vision was blurred and he was certainly having trouble in walking, he was limping more like, in this state his sixteen year old body was harder to manipulate than usual.
To him, everything seemed bigger and a little bit out of place.
But what the hell, it was his fault for giving into his thoughts so easily.
He gave a slight shiver as a cold wind brushed through his neck, he rarely drank, in fact this was one of the rare days that he did, and if he did, his best friend Ruka would be with him.
And they rarely drank themselves silly
He wasn't exactly sure what made him down a bottle and drive himself senseless, but somehow as he could recall it had an eerie connection to a certain auburn girl who he tried so hard to block out of his head.
She was getting closer to him by each passing day.
Getting too close for comfort
Getting too close for him to handle
And getting too damn close to discover the hidden person he tried to conceal from everyone else.
He tried so hard to put up a cold and almost cynical façade, but with this annoying girl around, it was hard to keep that façade up.
And he might find himself in a situation he never wanted to be in
A situation wherein emotions got the better of him
Where it took hold on his head and made him surrender to it
No, she shouldn't be able to do this to him
But her carefree, generous and completely loving personality struck him off guard
She was everything he was not
And in some weird way, that appealed to him for she was the fitting puzzle to his cold and cynical personality
Their differences were too extreme but somehow, the extremity of such was what had drawn him to her.
And it drove him nuts when all he could think about her especially since he tried so hard to cloud his head with thoughts beyond her, thoughts that lead no way near her, thoughts that blocked her out of his head.
But somehow, that little girl always managed to find her way back into his head
And he had it
Which is why he drove and bullied himself into drinking a bottle, just to block out all surging thoughts regarding an auburn haired girl.
The earlier events did nothing to help either, if not they only intensified the situation…
He was perched on a nearby shade of an enormous tree; autumn was creeping around the corner as he saw the leaves turning to a deep color of scarlet…
Scarlet, just like his alice
He stared at his manga, he wasn't really reading, just thinking more like as he watched the free spirited youth make their way to the grounds laughing about and kidding around like they didn't care.
Like they studied in this school as if it was a normal school
As if it was almost nonsensical to study here
It was too easy for them, they were not doing anything to Persona's bidding, and they certainly aren't risking their necks for the Academy's benefits and advantages.
As he thought more about it, he really didn't like to complain much less think about his given situation.
But somehow, watching the students prance about made him feel and wonder what it would be like just to be like them, free spirited and almost normal.
He wanted to know what it was like not to worry about when your next call would be or how it would be to live a life like theirs.
Most people find it as an advantage to be Persona's favorite, it had its limitless benefits for one, but to him it was more like a curse.
And his curse turned him into this monster now, cold and unyielding.
Oh, don't get him wrong, he had friends, a lot of friends but few he considered as real and close friends, but those friends only managed to see only one side him, a side he put up as a façade to mask the emotions he worked so hard to keep buried.
But one, just one annoying little girl was suddenly becoming a threat to his cool and unyielding stance.
A girl named—
"Mikan!" a nearby student shouted
"Don't worry, Yuu. I'll be right back I just want to greet Natsume-kun" she said brightly waving to her friend
Natsume instantly snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of her voice as he jerked back to reality, he looked idly to his right where he found a sixteen year old girl with light auburn hair making his way to him.
About midway on her sprint toward him, she tripped giving whoever was at the back of her a very good view of what her underwear might be that day.
Natsume stood up, clutching his manga as he walked up to her and offered his hand.
She smiled brightly at him as he merely scowled, "Must you trip every time, little girl?"
That simple sentence alone made her crack as she stuck her tongue out at him.
"I'm not exactly little anymore, Natsume and I do have a name it's Mi-kan, okay? MII—KAN…why don't you use it for starters?"
Natsume merely shrugged and shoved his other hand to his pocket
"What are you doing here anyway?"
"Oh, don't mind me I'm just here to find out how you are after mysteriously disappearing yesterday" she said
Natsume stared at her and she smiled once again, that warm smile that made her chocolate eyes twinkle, "I was worried about you"
That struck him, but he showed no emotion instead, he looked down and simply muttered, "You shouldn't be"
Mikan simply smiled and didn't find his indifferent ways the least bit bothering.
Natsume turned his back on her and made his way back to the shady tree
"Hey, Natsume waaiit---ooff"
Again, she tripped on a nearby branch
But this time, Natsume didn't bother to help her up instead he sat down on his usual place
"You're going to ruin that ugly face even more if you keep doing that, little girl"
She looked up and scowled at him, she looked so funny that Natsume fought the urge to laugh.
Her hair was tousled from where she fell and a leaf was stuck to her auburn air.
Now sixteen, Mikan wore her hair longer as it fell past her shoulders and her usual pigtails was gone replaced with a single high ponytail but she wore it down today and it stuck up all in the wrong places.
Her chocolate eyes were still warm and friendly and it was mere comfort just to look at them.
She has changed a lot, but still no matter how her looks have changed, her personality remained the same.
She was still the same Mikan he knew almost seven years ago
Nothing ever changed; she still had a warm heart even for persons who practically don't want her around.
She edged nearer to him so that she was now sitting across him.
Natsume ignored her and continued reading
"Where have you been?"
"On a mission"
"What are you reading?"
"RPG manga"
Mikan stared at him, he wasn't even looking at her
What's up with him today?
"Natsume—"
He suddenly looked up and leaned toward her and was found in a position she hardly considered friendly
Their faces were inches apart and she was breathing in his scent
She turned beet red but surprisingly he didn't notice or rather he didn't want to notice
Just when she thought he was about to do what she thought he would do, he simply took something from her hair
It turned out to be a leaf after he pulled it he leaned back to his usual position.
Mikan stared blankly at him, he then flicked the leaf toward her, "You worry too much, little girl"
Mikan stared at the leaf as it fell lifelessly back to the ground, then she looked at him.
Something was unusually different about him, he seemed too indifferent today.
She grabbed his hand that flicked the leaf to catch his attention but she was surprised at the coldness she felt when she did.
His hands were so cold, too cold, she instantaneously dropped the hand
"Nat—Natsume--?"
"I said don't worry about it, alright? So don't!"
"You're not feeling too well, are you?"
He shrugged as he stared at her worried face, she looked almost frantic
"Oh no, you overused your alice again and you're going to die soon—"
"BAKA! Don't kill me just yet"
But Mikan wasn't convinced, "But Nat—"
"I tell you I'm fine it's just a repercussion because I used my alice too much, don't worry about it, I don't have any serious ailments, so stop your whining"
She smiled again and looked at him, "You should talk to us more often, you know? Sometimes all you really need is your friends; they're your best comfort and were always here for you"
He looked at her, and she smiled warmly and sweetly at him
She really shouldn't be doing this, he was already in a tight situation and any more provocation from her wouldn't help
"I am your friend, Natsume so if there's anything bothering you—"
"You're hardly my friend, Mikan"
It took a long time for her to register that, then when she did she asked, "What—what did you say?"
"I am not your friend, I hardly am, in this kind of situation I am in, it's hard for me to acquaint with people and you're not any different"
Something inside of her must have snapped because tears were starting to form on her eyelids
Natsume was no stranger to her tears, though they always perturb him he tried his best not to offer comfort, it was a side of him he didn't want anyone to see and know.
She finally spoke up her voice cracking, "Then have a lonely life, I HATE YOU NATSUME!"
And with that crying voice scaring a few birds nearby, she ran off towards the academy, once when she was fully gone from his sight, Natsume sighed as he ran a lazy hand through his hair…
I'm a hardly a friend to you Mikan because…
I don't want to be just a friend to you
Something tells me I want to be so much more…
He swayed and hit a wall, his attempts were futile, he stared at the bottle
He was still thinking of her
He had to find a way to get her out of his head fast
He stared at the door next to the wall, while pondering coincidence over his own doing
Much to his surprise, he ended up on her door.
He decided to peer in and see if the little girl was already tucked in, when he did however, he discovered that room was deserted.
Figuring that she was with her best friend in Hotaru's room, he invited himself in not really taking in the depth of the little girl's room, not really noticing how girly it was with all the frills and laces.
He stepped in and thinking that Mikan would not be returning till the next morning decided to let his intoxication take over him.
"Even better" he murmured to himself
He dropped the bottle and stared at her bed, it looked so suddenly warm and inviting and before he knew it, his eyes began to droop.
He yawned, and relaxed his shoulders a bit until they sagged completely
He couldn't think straight, he was way to sleepy to do so
Taking off his shirt, he had no second thoughts in lying on her bed
The soft velvety cloth of her bed against his bare chest made him feel warm and fuzzy all over, he was getting tired and he yawned more.
He inhaled the scent that clung to her bed
Vanilla, he thought
Typical little girl
He was well aware that he was in her bed, but he wasn't least perturbed by it or at least he was too drunk to care
With one last yawn, he felt his eyes close and went into a dreamless sleep.
Mikan stared at her work and smile in spite of herself, she was quite proud with she had done, the canvas had bright pictures painted by her.
It was colorful and bright, everything she wanted the festival to be.
Tsubasa might think that the mural was a bit too pink with too much butterflies and flowers but hey, she loved the color and the images, it wasn't her fault she loved being a girl besides this was for her part of the attraction so he couldn't really dictate to her on what color and what images to use.
She smiled, it was a great accomplishment.
"ALRIGHT MIKAN!" she said giving herself a mental pat on the back
She wasn't supposed to do this until tomorrow but she wanted a free day with Hotaru tomorrow, her so called best friend might not always want her around but she found her presence comforting.
Giving one last admiring glance she walked out of the room smiling, she decided to visit the place again tomorrow and see the progress they were making.
The festival is only a week away and they were trying so hard to make their attraction even better.
She mentally planned out her day, firstly she was going to check up on her work and her fellow Special Abilities classmates and then she'll hang out with Hotaru, Ruka-Pyon and….Natsume...
Natsume…
Her mind blacked out as she thought about him, why did he have to be so mean?
Why was he so cold to her? She did nothing to him besides what's this crap about her not being his friend?
'What am I to him anyway?'
She shrugged, she really shouldn't care no matter how much it hurts to hear him say that she wasn't anything more to him.
She wasn't even friend
And she wasn't even close.
Whatever did she do to him that made him so irked up?
She can't even understand his ways, why he was so distant from the rest of her classmates, why he was always so alone, so isolated, so very much his own person.
So many times she wanted to crack him, wanted to see what he was trying hard to hide.
Trying to find out if at least there was a warm person inside that cool façade of his.
Because to her, there's no one that cold with no trace of warmth in his or her life
It just wasn't possible
And to think his alice is fire, so much in contrast to his personality.
She wanted to know so much about him but when they talk about things that suddenly pertained him, he withdrew and talk about other things instead.
As she made her ways towards the edge of the corner, she stopped in a nearby comfort room and rinsed her face, she felt really sleepy.
And no wonder when she looked at her watch it was past one in the morning, she must have really worked hard on her mural, Tsubasa will be so proud tomorrow.
Smiling in glee, she made her way out and went to her room.
Now a three star alice student, she had a better room and she couldn't ask for more.
Once inside, she yawned and felt her eyes close
She was too tired for anything
Amazingly tired, she took off everything except for her bra and panties.
She stretched and brushed her hair lightly a few times.
She yawned once more and when she stepped into the bed she felt a bottle drop and clatter
'What was that?'
Thinking that it might be one of her spare litter, she shrugged and got into bed and felt warmth envelope her.
As she moved about she felt something beside her.
She looked at her right and immediately thought that it was not a something but rather a "someone".
Before she could scream or shriek in fright and move away, a strong hand gripped her around her middle, on her waist holding her tight emitting a soft gasp from her.
She decided to yank his arm away from her body but before she could do so, the person was already and literally on top of her.
Mikan gave a silent gasp as she recognized who it was…
There was no mistaking those cold brown eyes, even in the dark…
It was Natsume in nothing but his boxers.
He continued to hold her waist tightly while his left arm was resting beside her head…
Mikan stared at him, at loss for words; there was a manic gleam in his eyes
"Natsume…."
"Got you, little girl"
Author's Notes: Okay, this was supposed to be a one shot! But surprisingly, it was too long! Maybe about three chapters only, and about the vodka, I was about to put in sake but then I realized that the Alice Academy(Yep, I'm a Filipino and that is what we call it here) is a bit modern and ahead than most schools I've seen in Anime. So tell me what you think in your reviews and to those of you who are wondering about this story, I have no intention in making this into a lemon as I terribly suck at those, I'm only sixteen so forgive me for saying so. I tried in my Harry Potter fics but somehow I really couldn't just write it out, mentally picturing it yeah but writing no…oookaay, why did I have to say that? Anyway, tell me what you think in your reviews and I'll be updating pretty soon:D