AN: Wow, so I don't know where this came from.. but I wrote it anyway. I absolutely adore Suits, and I don't know, I was inspired by the fight Trevor and Mike had in episode 3. And this was born. Let me know if it sucks;] – The title is the first word in The Used's Bird and the Worm. It's been on repeat for about 14 hours now.
Mike was used to watching his own back. He was used to putting those he cared about before himself. He had done it practically his whole life.
When he was 8, his mother died in a car accident. He often tells people that both of his parents died that night. In his mind, they did. For the next four years, Mike lived with his father in a small apartment, far away from his childhood home. His father didn't deal well with his mother's death, and that was understandable. Mike learned to look after himself, while his father drank himself into oblivion. He kept his father happy, their apartment clean, and could cook like a pro by 9. He mastered hangover remedies quickly, knowing what words to say when, and Greg Ross was grateful for the little punk. He worked odd hours, bringing in the household income, but Mike was the real head of the house. He dealt with his mother's death quietly; becoming a solemn, well-mannered boy, and his teachers were often impressed by his work ethic. Then his father died.
Greg Ross was a good man, but grief eventually gets the best of people. He, too, died in a car accident, drunk, and Mike went to live with his grandmother.
He wasn't used to letting go, to not doing the work, but his grandmother soon broke him of most of his habits. He ate more, he slept more, and was still the solemn little boy, but the weight of the world was not on his shoulders any more. He lived to help his grandmother, because even though she was strong, she was still aging, and Mike felt as if he needed to pay her back for taking control of his life when she didn't have to. He still cooked, and he still cleaned, but not all the time and that was enough for him.
At 18, his grandmother needed to be put into a home. She had some money saved away, but he knew he needed to work in order to keep taking care of her. She went to the retirement home, he got a cheap apartment, and earned money any way he could. His eidetic memory came in handy during his high school days, earning him a spot at the top of his class, but he knew there was no way he could go to college. He took odd jobs, and watched his back, because cheap apartments are cheap for a reason, and he was surrounded by drugs and gangs. He began to automatically do a visual sweep of every room he walked into, because he needed to be safe. He had to watch out for himself.
Years passed, and bills were paid however they could, and Mike met Trevor and Jenny. He was held afloat again, they kept him from drowning in his routine of work-protect-sleep. Trevor gradually immersed himself in the world of Mike's lawless neighbors; he wanted a way in, while all Mike wanted was a way out. They clashed, and Mike ended up keeping secrets from Jenny. He had no clue what to do anymore; was everyone in his life going to die or get into things Mike couldn't protect them from?
Mike kept the secret to protect Jenny. He was looking out for the people he cared about, like he always had. In the safety of his bedroom at night, he sometimes dreamed of a world where he came first, where he could do whatever without having to worry so much. He didn't want his life as a protector, as a body guard, anymore.
Mike met Harvey running from the cops, trying to help his grandmother and Trevor out. He hadn't meant for things to go horribly wrong, he hadn't meant to almost be caught by the police. But Harvey threw Mike a life vest; the way out he desperately sought. So he took it. It was a way to help his grandmother stay in a place where people could take care of her, and it was his way out of all things ugly. But he didn't want to turn his back on Trevor, like Harvey had ordered, because even though he was selfish and bad and an anchor, he was Trevor. And Mike helped Trevor.
Jenny found out about Trevor, and Mike knew it would happen, it was inevitable. All things inevitably saw the light of day. He expected Jenny to be mad, to hate him, so he was prepared. She was just one more person he tried to protect and ended up failing to do so.
Trevor lying to Jenny was low, and he went over to tell Trevor that. He went to tell Trevor that his life didn't need to be full of drugs and lies. He wanted to help.
Things never went the way Mike expected them to. He should know that by now.
"What matters is that you don't help me out." Trevor s declared, anger clear in his voice. Mike stood there, letting the angry words wash over him. He did the one thing he had never done before, he gave up. Trevor obviously didn't want his help, so there was really nothing else he could do.
"Okay, but the least you could do is be honest with Jenny." He had to try, for Jenny.
Trevor threw angry words back at him, portraying him as the bad guy. Bitterly saying that Mike wanted Jenny. Claiming Mike thought he was better than him. Mike had never realized that Trevor was so insecure.
"Maybe that's because I am." Mike was in Trevor's face, standing up for himself. He had had enough with Trevor's mind games, and his lies. He didn't want to be a part of it any more. He knew he was worth it, he knew he was good, he knew he was better than a liar, a lowlife.
If Mike had been paying attention to his surroundings, like he had trained himself to be, if he had been aware, he would have realized that messing with Trevor at that moment was a bad idea. Standing up for himself was important, but to do so at that time would get him nowhere. Trevor had been smoking, drinking, and if Mike had noticed, he also would've remembered, because he always remembered, that while his deceased father was a quiet drunk, Trevor was an angry one.
But Mike wasn't paying attention.
Trevor glared, and suddenly Mike is flying into a table, landing on the empty beer bottles Trevor had piled up. He realized his mistake, but it was too late. And that was his life.
Trevor had him pinned down, throwing punches left and right, tattooing his anger into Mike's skin. It felt like rain.
Mike was used to being hurt; he had been for most of his life. But that didn't stop him from wishing it would stop.
It didn't.