I love you, I'm Sorry

私は申し訳ありませんが、あなたを愛して

"Naruto, when are you going to fix the roof? There's a diagnostic that it'll rain tonight," asked Hinata timidly. She wasn't used to demanding her husband into doing anything but lately she's noticed Naruto lazing about ever since he lost his job. She understands completely. Feeling dejected after working in that job for three years and suddenly being let go must have hit him hard. But it's been five weeks now—almost a month—and he has yet to move from this house and trying to apply into another restaurant. Ever since she knew him back in high school, his career was to become a chef and his dream became a reality when Sasuke—his old and long time best friend—offered him an opening in his new restaurant. Hinata was happy for him, so very happy. She loves him and his goals became her own so to see him eagerly going to work was a blessing. But when he came home one night and told her that Sasuke decided to fire him because he sold the restaurant to another company, her heart broke when he broke down. She tried to soothe him but he was too hurt and angered to listen to anything.

So now she was working for the both of them and adding to the ever growing piles of bills, the anxiety and stress was starting to get to her.

"I'll do it later," he mumbled as he stared at the television.

Hinata sighed and she put her bag down. She had two hours before going into work and she felt that today is the day that his attitude will have to change. Sulking for this long was starting to affect the both of them. She walked towards the television and turned it off. She turned around and hugged her midsection as Naruto's eyes landed on her, his brows furrowed.

"What are you doing, Hina? I was watching that."

Hinata bit her lip and prepared for the argument that was just looming in the horizon. "I think it's time to stop how you're acting, Naruto, and it's time to start looking for a job." She almost regretted starting this conversation when Naruto glared at his hands but she had one objective in mind. She was going to accomplish it, one way or another. "I understand that you're still hurt by Sasuke hurting you and firing you so suddenly but everyone has their ups and downs. You taught me to get up once you've fallen and—"

"Hinata, you don't seem to understand." His sudden statement cut her off completely and her eyes stared at the ground as he stood up. "You don't know how I'm feeling or what I'm going through."

"Then tell me."

"No. I…I can't tell you."

She remained silent.

"Hinata, just…just leave me alone about it, okay? I'm going to the room now." Before he walked away, Hinata was by his side and grabbing his arm.

"Naruto, what's wrong? What really happened?" She knew there was something more going on. She didn't have the guts to approach her husband and ask him the details of his sudden dismissal. Right now, however, seemed like the perfect time to question it.

"Nothing." He snatched his arm away from her hand but she walked in front of him, her eyes concerned.

"Naruto, we promised each other to tell the other when we're in trouble. I can sense that something more happened than what you let on. Please, tell me."

"I can't," he repeated, this time his eyes glaring at the wall behind her.

"But why? Don't you trust me? I'm your wife, Naruto, and you have to understand—"

"You don't understand shit!" Hinata's eyes widened and her heart squeezed in pain as her husband lost all the control he had. "Hinata, you don't understand what I'm going through and you don't know what happened! So just leave me alone! Leave me alone!" His screams and hurtful words stabbed her heart. She did nothing as her husband past her and slammed the door to their room. Her knees buckled and her sobs left her lips as his words finally sunk in. She fell on the floor and covered her face, her sobs choking her and her tears smearing the little make up she had. She felt her body tremble and her heart ached. Leave me alone! She cried once more and she gripped her hair, desperation clawing at her heart. What did she do? Was it something she said? Oh, she knew that starting this conversation would lead to something bad! Why did she do it? Why?

After what felt like hours, she got to her feet and grabbed her bag. She grabbed a nearby tissue and blew her nose. The aching pain was still beating in her heart but she still had a job to do. Something hurt Naruto for him to act this way and she knew that leaving him alone for a bit would let him cool off. Later, she'll come to talk to him and get to the bottom of what really happened.

"Leave me alone!"

But his words still left a stabbing pain behind.

"Naruto," she called out, her voice cracking when she remembered what he said a few minutes ago. "I'll be back." He didn't respond and she opened the door. She glanced once more at the door to their room and she closed it, leaving her husband alone in their house.

Inside the room, Naruto was hugging his knees, his short hair shadowing his sad-filled eyes. Tears landed on his sweatpants and his sobs echoed within the room.

"I-I'm sorry, Hinata," he whispered, his chest aching. "I can't tell you…I…Hinata…"

The sound of rain was blocked by the sound of his own beating heart that was pulsing in his ears.

Naruto woke up with his eyes feeling heavy. He cried for a long time and he started to feel the after effects of sadness weighing him down. His hands rubbed off the eye boogers that kept his eyes shut and he stood up to his full height. He groaned when he felt the prickling sensation on the bottom of his feet and it ran up his legs. Sleeping in a crouching position was not a good idea. Images of what happened a few hours ago popped into his mind and he rubbed his face. He had a good reason for being so cold towards her; he thought but sighed when he couldn't fully agree with himself. He sat down on their bed and stared at the wedding photo sitting on top of his drawer. He grabbed the photo frame and stared at Hinata's face. Only a few hours ago, that smiling face was crying with hurt written in her eyes. He nearly dropped the frame when he heard a knock on his door. Without thinking it twice, he hoped off the bed and ran to the front. 'I'm going to tell her what happened,' he thought as he turned the door knob and opened it wide.

What stood before him was not Hinata but two very drenched police officers.

"Uh, hello?" questioned Naruto, cocking an eyebrow.

"Naruto Uzumaki?" one of them asked, taking out a notepad.

"Yeah, that's me." Naruto felt a sudden dread drop on his stomach.

"Are you in anyway related to Hinata Uzumaki?"

His eyes widened and he took a step outside, his eyes a storm of emotions. "Yes, she's my wife. What happened? Where is she? Why are you asking me?" He was hyperventilating.

One of the officers looked at the other before looking at the young distressed man with pity in his eyes. "Sir, your wife had just been in a car accident. She's hospitalized right now but…"

"Why don't you get your coat, sir, and we'll take you there," interrupted the other officer when he noticed his partner was going to tell the young man the news.

Naruto felt numb, however, and was oblivious to everything around him. His body felt heavy and his heart screamed in pain. It thundered loudly and hard against his chest and his eyes burned with tears. They descended down and, for a moment, he forgot to breath.

"—boy, are you okay? Please, get your coat sir. We're going to take you to your wife." He snapped into action and ran inside. He grabbed a random jacket and threw it on, his tears falling freely.

"L-Let's go. Please."

The whole ride to the hospital, the officers decided to ignore the sobs they heard coming from the heartbroken Naruto.

The moment the car was parked, Naruto bolted out of it and ran to the front of the hospital. He ignored the shouts of the officers and nearly pounced on the nurse who was in the front desk.

"Hinata Uzumaki. Where is she? I'm her husband. Please, tell me where she is!" He was screaming at this point and it hurt to take in breaths. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned around wide eyed. The police officer nodded at the nurse, who looked frightened, and directed the distressed Naruto to the elevators.

It felt like a millennium until they arrived to Hinata's room. Naruto stared at the doorknob and his heart never stopped its erratic beat. His eyes felt swollen and his soul cried out in pain. Every single cell of his felt like they were on fire and he was afraid that he'll black out soon. His only source of happiness was behind this door and he was terrified of what he'll find. What if she was…?

He turned the doorknob before he finished the thought. Hinata lay still on the bed and his breath got caught on his throat when he took her in. She was covered in bandages and she had a cast on her leg which was being held up by a wire. Her eyes were bruised and her lips were blue slowly turning into purple. But the worst part was all of the tubes that were injected in her. The heart monitor was a slow, steady beat and Naruto made his way to his wife's side. His hand reached out to grab her hand but he saw them wrapped in bandages, the white cloth stained with a dark red.

It slammed into him in that moment. His wife, the source of his happiness and the love of his life, was dying slowly in front of him. She was in pain and he let this happen.

"Hinata…" he whispered. Soon enough tears descended down his cheeks. "HINATA NO YOU CAN'T—you can't go please don't leave me! Please! I need you!" He fell on his knees and gripped the sheets, his forehead resting on the bed while he sobbed. "HINATA! Hinata please don't go! You're in pain and it's my fault! It's my fault!" Flashes of what he said echoed in his ears.

"Leave me alone!"

"Hinata, please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry! HINATA!" He screamed and not enough oxygen reached his lungs. His body burned and he desperately needed to touch some part of her. To feel her warm skin and her beating pulse, that's all he needed.

"You don't understand shit! Leave me alone!"

His tears soaked his shirt and he clung to the sheets like they were a lifeline. "Please…I'm sorry…"

That same day, a doctor came in after a nurse found Naruto in a very hysterical state. After a few calm breaths and a glass of water, Naruto sat beside his wife and he could only stare at her as the doctor told him of her condition. The impact of the crash made her body snap against the car belt, marking her skin and cracked her clavicles. It only got worse when the car managed to flip over and her leg caught between the metal, breaking her bones. She began to bleed internally when a cracked rib punctured a lung. Most of her body is bruised and her right hand was bent in an odd angle. As the doctor kept listing the many injuries Hinata suffered through, Naruto could do nothing but stare at his wife. How was she doing? He caught snippets of her being in a induce sleep and he couldn't help but wonder how she'll feel when she's consciously aware of the pain.

It's been a few weeks since she's been in the hospital and Naruto has rarely moved from his spot. It started to wear him down and he forgot when the last time he ate properly was. Friends came and went and it all became a blur. The pain was still there, throbbing within him every time he saw Hinata lying still on the bed. His eyes weren't bright anymore, not when the one who brought him so much life was slowly wasting away. He was afraid that his wife will never wake up.

His fingertips brushed her bandaged hand and his eyes saw the way her brows furrowed just a bit. He's been aching to touch any part of her, to hug her close and tight and breathe her in. But he was too afraid to grab her hand. The doctor said that at this point most of her body has healed except for the larger wounds. It was okay to grab her hand, he reasoned, but what if he hurt her? He flinched at the thought. Never again would this happen. She will survive this and when she wakes up, he'll be the first person she'll see.

"Hinata…" he whispered. He tentatively reached out to touch her cheek, his fingertips brushing her skin but images of her bruised face flashed before his eyes. He pulled back quickly and he looked down at his hands, as if they were the cause of her damaged body. He glanced up at her face and let a smile slip when he saw that most of the bruises were nearly gone. He once again reached out and for the first time in weeks, he touched her skin. It was rough due to the lack of any moisture but he still found himself wanting more. He relished her warm skin and he smiled. To think he almost lost this. This that was his and his alone and he found it all by himself. He found someone to call his own and that someone loves him so much that, at times, he was afraid that her love can be deeper than the ocean and larger than the whole universe. Tears descended down his cheeks and he wasn't so surprised when memories he had of Hinata washed over him. Images of her laughing, smiling, or blushing caused him to choke on a laugh.

"I love you, Hina." His eyes moved from her eyes to her nose to her lips. He outlined every curve and took in every twitch. "I love you so much and if you can wake up then I'll be very happy. I'll pamper you with cinnamon rolls and I'll go and find a job! We won't fight…I won't allow us to f-fight anymore." He swallowed and finally allowed himself to take her hand. "I have something to tell you. I-It's about my job. I…" He paused and gazed at his wife, who has been beside him through thick and thin. He caressed her knuckles carefully before continuing. "Sasuke did sell his company and I understood since he got engaged. Heh, that bastard…Anyway, that day he actually recommended me to a five star restaurant. Can you believe it, Hinata? I was so happy. I was walking back to my car when one of your family members was waiting for me." Naruto frowned when he began to recall that day. "I don't know which one was it but I think it was one of those old assholes who were against our marriage.

"He looked at me with a glint in his eyes and he just handed me a paper," he continued, his eyes misting once again. "He told me that if I apply to any restaurant or any job, he'll make sure that no one would hire me. I got so piss, I started cussing him out. I thought he was going to hurt you so I nearly threw a hit at him but then he told me that he'll press charges. He just told me to read the paper and then he left. You know what was in that paper, Hina? It was god damn detailed report of my drunken accident when I was eighteen. When I was eighteen! The court already cleared that case and yet…" Naruto paused and released Hinata's hand, both of his hands now covering his face. "I was afraid that if I do apply to any restaurant, I won't get the call back. I was too god damn afraid and I was trying to figure out how I can fight back. When you asked me that day…I-I guess it was too much and I cracked…"

He looked at Hinata and sniffed. "I'm so sorry. It wasn't your fault, Hina. You'll never get me angry, never. I was just afraid I'll let you down. You were so proud of me and now…well, look at me." He bit his lip and noticed that the time for visiting hour was coming to a close. "I have to go but tomorrow, I'm coming back. I'll protect you, my love. I'll protect you even more now." He bent down and kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"Leave me alone! I don't want you here anymore. You're useless, just like everyone else said."

"That's not true…"

"You won't help me. You don't even understand me!"

"I do understand you, Naruto! I understand you perfectly!"

"Oh, yeah? Well why couldn't you be there for me when I was down? Why weren't you trying to help me when I needed you the most?"

"I—"

"Because you don't know me! Why can't you just leave me alone and be gone, forever?"

"No! I love you, Naruto! I love you! P-Please, don't leave me…you're too precious to me…"

"Bye, Hinata."

"NO!"

Hinata twitched in her sleep and her fingers moved slightly. The emotional pain hurt. It still plagued her mind and she couldn't help but over think the situation. What if he really did want her to go? Her chest constricted in pain and she curled into herself. How much more pain can she take? Naruto, she's loved him so much that he became a part of her life. He encouraged her when she couldn't pass an exam or when the expectations her father held out to her were impossible to reach. His "I'll never give up!" reached her ears and made her try harder. He was the reason why she wore his wedding band around her finger. She knew that he loves her as much—or possibly more—than she loves him but she always held a small bit of insecurity. What if one day he realizes she's not good enough?

"—love you, Hina—roll—sorry… Please, come back to me. Please. I love you so much." That voice.

"Naruto…" In that moment, she felt a connection with her body. Her soul and body synched and she felt her finger twitch. She knew that she got herself into a horrible car accident. She had a feeling that she survived it yet she felt hopeless in trying to regain her consciousness. It was a hard task to do and desperation always made its way into her mind and poisons her soul. Her low self-esteem lowered even more and she remembered his last words to her. Leave me alone. 'He probably just wants to make me feel better…' she thought dejectedly before she felt warmth from her forehead. His lips left a fire that always managed to leave her blushing and her heart stuttering. He kissed her. A sudden aura of sadness washed over her and she wanted to reach out and hug him. He was hurting, bad, and she's incapable of doing nothing.

Flashes of a smiling Naruto after he came home from work came to her mind. I can do this! Day in and day out, she worked tirelessly to move her body, to regain consciousness once again. Never did she falter in determination because she felt her source of support right beside her. Everyday she'll hear his words of pain and longing and she could do nothing but work harder. For him, she'll do anything. It wasn't until one day that he explained to her what really happened on that night he got "fired" that she felt an immeasurable energy coursing through her veins. It wasn't his fault! He shouldn't bring himself down like that. After this, she'll make sure to have a talk with her family. But first she'll accomplish this.

She felt Naruto leave and she began to work. Her mind was throbbing in pain but she never stopped. Hinata felt at first her wrist move then her toes. Slowly, she began to gain control of her body. Finally, after what felt like years, she managed to open her eyes in the early morning. Her eyelids felt heavy but when her eyes caught sight of a wall instead of darkness, she shed tears of happiness.

'I-I did it.' She moved her lips and only then did she realize that her throat was parched. If only she could click the button for the nurse.

The sound of a click resounded in the room and Hinata's eyes moved to the left. Her eyes widened, however, when she saw Naruto closing it. It's been two weeks since she last seen him and god, did it feel great to take him in. She missed him so much and right now she wanted to be hugged by him. She wanted to be held close and for his arms to protect her from the world. He's too good for her. She noticed that a whimper passed her lips and Naruto's eyes landed on her quicker than lightening. He was by her side the next minute and holding her hand in such a gentle manner that her eyes tendered. Of course her Naruto would be considerate.

"Hinata, are you okay? Oh my god, you're awake! YOU'RE AWAKE!" He couldn't help but whoop in happiness. He nearly ran all over the walls if it weren't the gentle squeeze Hinata gave him. Before she can ask him for a glass of water, he pressed his lips against her own and he did so in a desperate manner. Her body still felt like lead but she reacted the same way she always does when he kisses her. She responded eagerly and it felt so right when his lips massaged her own. She missed his taste and she followed after his lips after he pulled away. He laughed at that and he reached for the cup beside her. Pouring cold water into the cup, he pressed it against her lips and helped her drink it. Their eyes never left the other and after she was done, he placed the cup back. He sat on the bed and bent down to kiss her forehead.

She understood what he was about to do before he said or did anything. He kissed her eyebrows before kissing her eyelids. He trailed down to kiss the tip of her nose before kissing her lips. He littered her face with butterfly kisses and she couldn't help but giggle. She missed this.

"I thought I'll lose you," he whispered against her lips, his forehead touching her own. His blue eyes darkened and he held back on his tears. Hinata, however, let loose and her tears ran down her face. "I was so stupid when I yelled at you to leave me alone. I don't you want you to ever do that! Don't listen to me! I love you so much and to think that you were so close to…" He stopped and Hinata wiped away his tears.

"I heard everything," she finally said and his eyes widened. He missed her soft and reassuring voice but he always also quite shock to hear that she actually managed to hear everything.

"Did you hear when…?"

"Yes." She smiled and cupped his cheek. "Naruto, when something like that happens, don't keep it a secret. Tell me straight away. Don't be ashamed of what happened. What you did when you were eighteen is in the past."

"I doubt the court will forget a crazy eighteen year old wrecking a car." He snickered when he heard her giggle.

"And if someone tries to take away what makes you happy, I'll stand by your side and help you in any way that I can."

Naruto smiled a goofy smile—something she was sure he hadn't done since she's been here—but then it changed to confusion. "What makes me happy? Hinata, what makes me happy is you," he corrected softly.

She blushed and she couldn't help but smile. He makes her so very happy. "Naruto, I love you."

His eyes misted over once more. "I love you too, so much Hinata." He kissed her once more before clicking the button that calls the nurse. "The sooner you get check by the doctors, the sooner you'll come back home where you belong."

"With you, of course." She smiled and he kissed her once more.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Fin