Chapter 1 - Memories

BPOV

I woke up screaming. Tears were in my eyes and running down my cheeks. My mom didn't even come in and check on me anymore. Yeah she was worried and all she is my mom, but I wouldn't open up to her. That frustrated her alot. I could tell. She would try and guess and ask "are you scared of the dark, sweetie?" I would nod my head to whatever she said and she would leave angry. I started having the same nightmare every single night since I was sixteen. It had to do with a a guy. James Butler. Taking my virginity - forcefully. In forks I was visiting Charlie aka my dad. I prefer to call him 'chief '.

-Flash back-

It was summer, a party, and I was drinking. I wasn't wasted or anything, Just tipsy. I was exhausted. I decided I would go to bed scine I was spending the night with Jessica Stanly - the girl having the party. I went up to her room and started removing my clothes. I had my shirt off. I had a black bra on. And I had a nice sized chest. I made to mistakes that night:

1. Drinking

2. Being alone

I heard the door open and someone stumble in. I stiffened. I hurriedly put back on my shirt and turned around. I saw a black figure makes its way to me. When the person got in the moonlight I could see it was James. He had been a good friend to e. I let out a sigh.

"Damn James! You scared me." I laughed.

"Did I now? Can I make it up to you?" He asked seductively.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked oblivious to his meanings in the words

"It has to do with a bed. You on it and me on top of you."

"I'll pass. Your drunk and I am too. Besides I'm so tired."

"Well let me excite you."

"No." James took three steps and was towering over me. He grabbed my arms a pulled me to his body. He kissed me. I could smell the beer and feel the anger in the kiss. I was scared. His tongue made its way in my mouth. I bit down hard and he let me go, but grabbed me back just as quickly.

"You stupid bitch." He yelled. No one could hear him over the music. And they couldnt her my cries of pain. James hit me. Im not talking about a small slap. Im talking about a hard angry fist. He threw me down on the bed and ripped off my shirt.

"Take off your bra. Its to sexy to rip." He commanded. After thirty seconds of quiet he hit me again and again. He took off my bra. He hit me again. He pulled his shirt and pants off. And rubbed his hands all over my body. I felt so dirty. As his hands trailed up my body he gave my breast a rough squeeze. He took off my pants and underwear. I didn't try and fight him anymore. I just sat there. He keep pushing and pushing at my lifeless form. Harder and harder. I felt my ego shatter my heart crumble and my soul shrivel up. He got off of me and I started to sob. How could some one do this to me? How could someone I trusted be a monster? James was my friend. Yea WAS! James walked back over to me and pulled my naked form to his body.I immediately shut up. Just then the door slammed opened and Jessica and Lauren were standing in the doorway.I looked at Jessica and she was glaring at us.

"James and Bella? WTF! You had sex in MY room and on MY bed!" She screamed. "Bella get dressed and you and James need to leave." She said. She and Lauren slammed the door. James was now walking to the door and turned around to face me and said " If you tell anyone I'll do it again and then kill you."

-End of flashback-

I had taught myself not to cry. But I would slip up every now and then.I looked at the clock it was 7:30 I should be at school but I had been skipping it everyday. I went down stairs and my mom looked at me and smiled. She suddenly frowned.

"Bella honey, your school called and said you hadnt been to school since the first day, That was four weeks ago. Do you want to tell me why?" She sounded calm so I answered truthfully.

"No." It was simple I didn't go because I was scared of everyone there epically the guys. I didn't recognize my voice anymore it always sounded monotone.

"What?" She yelled. So much for calm.

" I said no."

"I miss my Bella! Where did my kind, quiet, smart baby girl go?" She asked on the verge of tears.

"She died." I said with no emotion. (Big shocker there) My mom started crying. I wish I could comfort her. I couldn't I didn't know how. I was crushed beyond repare that night in Jessica's room.

"Bella. I can't take your behaviour anymore. I wish you would tell me what your nightmares were about but you wont same more than a one syllable word response. Your moving to Forks with Charlie." She cried.

"Your just going to give up on me like that?" I yelled.

"I didn't give up on you Bella, you gave up on yourself." She said.

"I hate you!" I screamed. In the next hour I was on a plane with my bag of clothes. My mom said she would send my boxes of whatever later.