Once upon a time there was a trainer named Tucker and he wanted to be the Dome Ace. He beat his way up the ranks and finally became a superstar. He was really hot and had magenta hair and always wore a sparkly spandex fairy costume and really tight white tights that showed off his junk and high heeled magenta boots. One day he met this really beautiful girl who had blue hair with a bright green streak in the back and purple bangs and her eyes were every shade of red in a fire. She was a 36-24-36 and was totally perfect and always wore a mini skirt and a teeny tiny tank top. Her name was so beautiful it couldn't be pronounced so we'll just call her Sue. One day she saw Tucker after a match and said, "Whoa mai GAWD. You are like, so hot with your spandex fairy costume and your high-heeled boots and your magenta hair and your little white tights that show off your junk. I so totally know that we were meant to be together and let's go get married now."

Tucker said, "Um, I'm sorry, lady, but I don't know why you're talking to me like that."

Sue said, "Because don't you see we are totally made for each other?" She smacked her gum behind her overinflated neon pink lips.

Tucker said, "No, I don't."

Sue said, "But I'm, like, hot and stuff. No guy can resist me."

Tucker said, "You're not ugly but I'm not going to go out with you."

Sue said, "I'll sleep with you if you go out with me."

Tucker said, "I'd rather sleep with a garden hose."

Sue said, "You're just playing hard to get. Let's go get married and stuff, okay?"

Tucker said, "No, I just met you. Go away."

Sue said, "I'll take that as a yes. I'll meet you in your hotel room because I got the desk lady to give me the key." She blew a kiss at him and walked off, making the fact that she was wearing a thong glaringly obvious.

Tucker said, "This dialogue format is getting really old. Mrs. Author Lady, you'd best change it before I get my Magnum .44."

As Psychoswordlady changed the dialogue format for the next conversation scene, Tucker walked out the door of the lobby and by some plot hole decided to go get drunk at a bar. He went into one called the Toolbox and heard disco music blasting and a bunch of guys in really tight pants bumping and grinding. He looked around for a second and by some other plot hole that the author is too lazy to elaborate on someone bumped into him. He looked up at the person he bumped into and saw the hottest guy he had ever seen. He was tall and had a six pack and was waering a tight turtleneck cut off just below his first two abs, tight low-cut jeans, and a short jacket with three-quarters sleeves. He had dark aqua hair pulled back into a ponytail on top of his head and two chunks of hair that hung in front of his eyes.

Tucker shouted, "Where you from, you sexy thing?"

The guy shouted, "I believe in miracles, baby."

Tucker said, "What's your name, you hottie?"

The guy replied, "I'm Victor, but some know me better as Ursula Uranus. What's yours, cutie pie?"

Tucker answered, "I'm Tucker. I'm the Dome Ace."

Victor said, "Cool. Wanna go make out in the bathroom?"

Tucker said, "Sure," firing a few rounds at Psychoswordlady through the universe barrier for reverting to the boring dialogue format.

Victor and Tucker went and made out in the bathroom for an hour and then they went back to his hotel room because they were lonely and horny. As soon as Victor yanked off his belly shirt and was down to his little pink skivvies, Sue came in the door, yelling, "Hey babe, I hope you brought rubbers 'cause we're doing it tonight."

Sue stopped and stared at the half-naked man undressing her sweetie. "My god, you didn't tell me you were GAY!"

Victor let out a high-pitched scream, and turned to Tucker, his face beet red. "My god, you didn't tell me you were STRAIGHT!"

Sue grabbed her pocket Bible. "Dude, you guys, like, can't do that, because it's like, wrong and stuff and you guys are gonna, like, burn in hell and stuff."

Tucker looked at her funny. "Huh?"

Victor snorted. "This is Japan, honey. Yaoi magazines are everywhere."

Sue said, "But it's, like, not right!"

Tucker and Victor yelled in unison, "We're here and we're queer! Deal with it!"

Sue bawled long and loud. "Ugh! You guys like totally make me sick! I swear, Tucker, if I showed you my boobs you'd think twice about making whoopie with a guy!"

Tucker stared at her, not amused. He grabbed Victor's pecs, eliciting a squeal from the other man, and shot back at her, "He's got man boobs. That's enough for me."

Sue stomped out of the room, immediately catching the eye of the misshapen janitor and going off into an empty room with him.

Tucker turned back to Victor after locking the door, firing a second round at Psychoswordlady for using a repetitive adverbial clause. They made wild, passionate man-love in the bed, in the bathtub, and even on top of the mini-bar. After they were done they fell over on the bed, panting. Victor stood up, and looking over his shoulder, he said, "Tucker... my god. You sure you're a virgin?"

Tucker stood up as well, standing behind him.

Victor continued, "I swear that's the best sex I've had in a LONG time. Are you sure you've never done this before? And you know, if it's going to be this good every night, I wanna be your permanent lover."

Tucker bit Victor's earlobe and hissed, "Then shut up and bend over, bitch."

Neither of them got any sleep that night, for the rather obvious reason that they were banging each other until 4 A.M. They tried every position in the Kama Sutra and even made up some of their own. One time Tucker made Victor scream so loud that the people downstairs whacked the ceiling with a broom stick and shouted, "Keep it down in there, you horndogs!" And then they knocked over a picture frame and later the TV. But they were too busy in the throes of orgasmic passion that they just kept on going. Finally, sometime in the wee hours of the morning, Tucker flopped down on the bed, his head spinning from the night's adventures. "Whoa... That was insane."

Victor fell on top of him, his breathing so heavy you'd think he was having a heart attack. "Oh, yeah. I've never had so much fun in one night before."

Tucker French kissed Victor for a few minutes and then whispered, "Let's do this again sometime, kissy-poo."

Victor's hand slid onto Tucker's butt. "Sure thing, sugarbuns."

The next morning, Tucker awoke to Victor yelling at him from the bathroom. He rolled out of bed, realized he was still nude, and threw on the nearest pair of skivvies, which happened to belong to Victor, but he didn't care because they were boyfriends now and they could share anything, even though they had known each other only one night. He ran into the bathroom, where Victor waved a positive pregnancy test in his face. "Guess what, Tucker?! I'm preggers!"

Tucker's eyebrows contorted into an inhumanly possible shape. "What? But you're a guy!"

"Aww, baby, I know, but since we're boyfriends now, I've always wanted a baby or two."

"But how is it possible?"

"Let's not worry about the huge plot hole and the fact that the author has very much read an anatomy book and knows it's not possible but still chose to put it in. Let's just be happy about the fact that we're going to be daddies!"

Tucker made a face. "Whatever you say, kissy-poo."

Victor jumped onto Tucker, holding onto him with his legs wrapped around Tucker's waist. "Let's get married."

Tucker replied, "But it's not legal here. Japan may be the land of the yaoi, but it's not the land of civil rights."

Victor laughed, "Then we'll just have to invite the SWAT team to our wedding."

So Tucker and Victor had a huge wedding and invited all his fans from the Battle Dome but half of them didn't come because they still had the naive belief that the man with the sparkly spandex fairy costume and the high-heeled boots and the magenta hair was in fact straight and would someday carry them off to a beach in Mexico and buy them a million dollar mansion. After the wedding he and Victor spent another wild night together. They lived happily ever after and had twenty-five sons and twenty-five daughters who all grew up to be Pokemon League Champions at some point in their lives and owned every legendary including the nonexistant Kuravaiya. They lived to be one hundred and twenty and got buried together and everything was rainbows and flowerbeds and butterflies. TEH END.