Disclaimer: Bleach, Code Geass, Family Guy and Futurama is owned property of Tite Kubo, Ichirō Ōkouchi, Seth MacFarlane and Matt Groening, respectively.
Title: Twelve Reasons Why I Love/Hate...
Characters (in no certain order): Stewie Griffin, Sousuke Aizen, Lelouch Lamperouge, Marianne vi Britannia, Philip J. Fry, Kallen Kozuki and Bender Bending Rodriguez.
Summary: Seven people reveal who they love or hate with twelve reasons why.
Warnings: Rated M for some reasons, don't know what. Just read and you'll know.
A/N: Before you say anything, some of these reasons might not sound like his mom in Code Geass but you never know, and I thought it would suit her well (kinda.). Anyways, this is a part two of five. Plus, one of these is noticed but not ever noted.
Part Two: Lelouch Lamperouge
Lelouch is not the kind of person to write harsh things about his own family. But he made one exception. After yet another day of pain, he went to get his 'steam-book' that Bender gave him and began writing...
'I hate a lot of people, but, there's a woman that I just absolutely despise...' Lelouch wrote. 'And that woman is my mother, Marianne vi Britannia. If anybody is reading this, then you're probably wondering why would I ever hate my mom, here's why.'
"1. She is why my friends think I have a Oedipus complex; What else? Do you know how many times they've accused me of this?...
Flashback...
Suzaku: "I think that Lelouch has a Oedipus complex."
C.C.: "Why do you think that?"
Suzaku: "Because I noticed that he shows certain signs of a Oedipus complex, He hates his father and he's obsessed with his mom."
C.C.: "Both of those reasons kinda sound like him. Weird."
Suzaku: "Like I saw pictures of her on his phone and there were a lot. I'm actually worried about this."
(Lelouch enters the room)
Lelouch: "What the hell are you two talking about?"
C.C.: "Lelouch, are you in love with Marianne?"
Lelouch: "What! No! That's sick as fuck!" (Then, Marianne enters the room and jumps on Lelouch)
Marianne: "Don't lie to them. I know you're in love with me, Lelouch."
Suzaku: "It's no surprise, man."
Lelouch: "What are you talking about?"
Suzaku: "Don't lie, I've seen you lusting over her. How you never take your eyes off of her body when she's around. You make me sick.
Lelouch: "Shut you fucking mouth."
Marianne: "He's right. Don't think I don't notice you peeking at me in the shower or changing."
Lelouch: "I never did any of that!"
C.C.: "Have it your way, pervert."
End of flashback.
2. She's insane; You don't know my mother. When nobody's around, she'll do the most craziest things and I don't wanna even mention them...
3. She tries to seduce me; Like I ever want to see any part of her naked and either way, she doesn't care...
4. Her hair creeps me out; There's nothing wrong with it but when I look at her long hair, I always feel like it will come to life and choke me to death.
5. I can't ever sleep because of her; Almost every morning, I find her in my bed, either naked, half-naked or rarely, with clothes.
2nd Flashback...
Lelouch: (Wakes up to find Marianne in his bed) "What?...What the hell!"
Marianne: "Good morning, Lelouch."'
Lelouch: "Why the fuck are you in my bed again?"
Marianne: "I can never sleep without you with me."
Lelouch: "Do I look like a fucking teddy bear to you?"
Marianne: "You used to."
Lelouch: "Whatever." (He feels his left ear and discovers that it's wet) "Why the fuck is my ear all wet?"
Marianne: (Looks away from Lelouch) "I don't know."
Lelouch: (His eye begins to twitch) "I'm just gonna leave before I discover what else you've been doing to me while I've been asleep."
Marianne: (Grabs Lelouch) "Don't leave or else I'll kill you."
Lelouch: "Okay."
End of second flashback.
"...6. She's a sadomasochist; I just hope that none of my friend's moms are also like this. But mine is. If you hit her, then it's all over. No really, she will grab you, strap you to the bed and go wild on your ass, then have you do the same to her. The rest I rather not explain...
7. Half of the time, she dresses like a hooker; Last time, we both got arrested. Don't ask...
8. She flirts with my friends; I can never have friends in my house without my mom trying to flirt with them...
3rd Flashback
Ichigo: "Thanks for having us over here, man."
Lelouch: "No problem."
Suzaku: "By the way, where's Marianne?"
Lelouch: "When the fuck did you start calling my mom by her first name?"
Suzaku: "Hey. She's your mother. Not mine."
Ichigo: "He makes a good point."
Lelouch: "Shut up. Besides, she's upstairs and asleep."
Marianne: (Enters the room) "No I'm not."
Lelouch: "Son of a bitch."
Marianne: "Be quiet. You should have told me you were gonna have friend over. If you did, then I would changed into something less revealing."
Lelouch: "I did. I told you that these two would be coming over and told you to stay upstairs until they left."
Ichigo: "You still live with your mom?"
Lelouch: "No. She doesn't live here, she comes over here to bother me."
Ichigo: "Alright, but where did she go?"
Lelouch: "What?" (They look around to see her with Suzaku) "Damn it!"
Suzaku: "What are you doing?"
Marianne: (Places her finger on his mouth) "Let's get something straight, If you're good, then you can have some of this."
Lelouch: "Ugh."
Marianne: "Don't worry, I won't bite...unless you tell me to."
(Lelouch groans harder.)
Ichigo: "This seems like a very bad time. How about we just go?"
Marianne: "Don't leave. The three of you together will make a hot and sexy foursome."
Lelouch: (Starts speaking French) "Oh mon dieu douce, pourquoi ne pas laisser cette femme jamais mes amis et moi seule."
Ichigo: "Uh...what did he say?"
Marianne: "I don't know, sexy."
End of third flashback.
"...9. She doesn't take 'No' for a answer; What else do you want me to say?...
10. She's somewhat hypocritical; If I remember correctly, then I distinctively heard her say she loves both of her children. But two things that are complete facts: She's literally crazy for me and my sister, she barely even notices let aside gives a damn if she's even alive...
11. Her smile is always fake; Don't let her smile fool you because that's just a mask that she wears to hide her evilness. I'm not actually saying she literally wears a mask but without 'it' only shows her true nature...
and 12. She's extremely dangerous; I warn you. If you cross her, even once, she will kill you. In my case, She's even gone so far as threatening me if I didn't fulfill her sick desires." Lelouch wrote in the book. "Overall, if you still think that my mother is a nice woman, then don't say I didn't warn you. Either way, like Ichigo once told me, she's will and always be my mother and can never be replaced. Good words from a guy like Ichigo. But, she's still a pain in my ass though."
Then, as expected (sort of), Marianne enters his room to ask him something:
"Lelouch, I'm a little lonely, will you come to keep me company?"
"As long as nothing sexual happens, then yes." Lelouch replied.
"Alright. But no promises.'
"Whatever." Lelouch closes the book to be with Marianne. He brought a gun to be safe.
End of Part Two