The hot muggy air clung to them. They had found their way back together, but it was not the same. Hershel. The sense of security. It was all taken away from them. Their eyes showed the harshness they endured for months. And the apparent mistrust for the Termites. This group who did not hide their true intentions from the beginning.

Garret.

Mary.

Their purpose was to help only themselves. Michonne didn't know whether to hate or envy them. These lethal people did everything in their power to stay alive. Killing. Stealing. The ends were justified by the means. But her group was different. Rick was different.

He was nostalgic to the old ways of life. Even with his hardcore shell, he still wanted to believe in something more. He still wanted to give Carl a bright future. She did too because she loved the boy. Dreams of that traumatic night.

That pedophile. Joe. Their intentions with Carl. With all of them. The blood on their hands that could not be erased. There was no turning back. No trusting in others to do the right thing anymore. The termites had every reason to do what they did. The bitterness and harness festers and manifests into something stronger. Something that killed faith and beliefs.

There was no hope in this cure Eugene spoke of. All that was promised was death. Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. Andre'. Andrea. Terry. Mike. Everyone she came in contact with left her. She was numb, but they all were. Each was monster in flesh. It became second nature to do the wrong thing. Anything to not lose this war against the undead.

The little shack provided enough shelter for rest. Sleeping with one eye open was natural in this time. Enemies working together for the same cause was too. But the word 'enemy' had a lethal meaning.

Michonne was tired but her body would not let her rest. It kept conjuring possibilities of this future war with the Termites after they made it to Washington. Rick believed in this mission.

She didn't.

Their leader could only lead and predict so much. Abraham could only fight so much. And Daryl….

He wasn't who he used to be. At least with her anymore.

He didn't want to remember her. Or their old times. He had found a friend in Carol and love in Beth. And once again she was tossed to the side for something better. Like Andrea. Not that Rick knew of this tension, and she wanted to keep it like that. She couldn't break his heart more.

It was inevitable that Daryl would find someone to call home. Especially in the beautiful, innocent farmer girl. Why didn't she tell him when she had the chance? She thought she had more time. That the Governor was forever gone. Wiping her tears, it shocked her that she could still cry. With dreams of her former life flashing through her mind, she woke up in cold sweats.

Walking outside, she unsheathed her sword. Her eyes were mindful of her surroundings as her body gave in. She felt her knees hit the ground. Planting her hands on the hard dirt, she broke down. The family she found with Rick and Carl was not enough for her. The moment Daryl came back to them, she felt like she had woken from a nightmare. But she couldn't enjoy it because of Joe and his gang. It all happened too quickly.

Death was not punishment enough for those men. She did not use to be like this. Taking joy out of others' pain. They deserved it because Carl would never be the same. She knew it was harder to be a woman in this world, but to be a child and endure that…..She would give her life up for that boy.

This black heart was eating her slowly.

Daryl watched her to leave. She would always leave him behind. And it reminded him that he was not important in her world. Rick was the one. Carl was the one. No matter what he felt, the universe had bigger plans for the three of them. It guided him back to Beth. The light in his tunnel. She was a symbol of the good in this world. But he didn't want good. He wanted great.

The strength, intellect and grace Michonne processed was all he could think of. Burning down that cabin was the hardest thing he had ever done, but it was the best way to get over her ghost.

But it was harder to realize she was still alive. And worse, she had moved on. And so did he. Tried to at least.

Beth laid on his chest. They were two souls looking for something to hold onto. He was her anchor, but she was not his. Neither was Carol. It would be so much easier if they were. If Rick and Carl didn't love Michonne, things would be different.

Rick his brother. The man who had faith in him when no one else did. His brother gave him a new meaning to live.

The day the Governor destroyed everything they worked so hard to attain. The way he displayed Michonne and Hershel like his trophies. He would never forget. He blamed himself for not getting to her quicker to save her. Maybe that was why he avoided her. It would help him live down his shame.

If he had gotten to her sooner, it could have been them together for months. How they would have gone back to "their" cabin…..

But it did not make sense to wish for how things should be. Placing Beth to the side, he made light steps towards her.

Michonne punched the dirt until her knuckles hurt. The guilt, hate, and confusion weighed her down. Her grunts grew louder. She couldn't find the Governor in time. Why couldn't she keep the one thing that kept her happy in this world? She cursed to herself as she heard footsteps, she was not mentally prepared to handle a human or the undead. Looking up, she paused as Daryl stood before her. Those blue eyes still had power over her.

The two of them again. But she would not fall for this mental trap. After this conversation, he would go back to Beth. And he should because she needed him.

Daryl offered his hand as she ignored it. Her stubbornness was both a strength and weakness, but he was persistent.

Michonne didn't know where she walking. All she wanted was to get away from this man. To not remember how it felt to be with him.

"'Chonne stop." His deep voice captured her. All the tension. All the games would stop with this conversation.

"Can I have a moment by myself? Is that so hard to ask for?" Daryl felt a tinge of pain with her back turned to him. Her voice was hard, but he knew her too well.

"Don't get mad at meh just cause I was worried bout yah." Michonne huffed at his words. He was probably following Rick's orders.

"Bullshit. I need for you to do what you have been doing. Staying away from me." She headed towards the woods as Daryl gripped her wrists.

"Yah ain't goin nowhere." He would do everything in his power to make her listen to him.

"I'm not Beth. I'm not going to do something because you tell me to. I have my own mind." She attempted to hit him as he caught her hand.

"Woman listen." Their faces were inches apart. Daryl reveled in her body being near him. Her dark eyes no longer had their cold bearing.

"No you listen. " Michonne pushed him away. "You practically haven't spoken to me since we met back up again. Now you expect for me to listen you?"

"Damnit Michonne. Why do yah got tah be so difficult? I don't want yah to leave again…" He reached out to her again.

"You mean like how I left you to go hunt the Governor. How all of this is my fault. Hershel's dead. We lost our home. I lost you. Why I can't even sleep because my dreams plague me every night." Daryl wiped her tears.

"Michonne. It ain't yer fault."

"Yes it is. You know it that is why you hate me. That why you can barely look at me. It's why I hate myself." Tears fell harder.

Daryl held her wrists. He knew she would explode. Her feelings could be only bottled up for so long. Like with Andre'. And just like that time, he was here with her. They had both shared that bond of losing a loved one to the Governor. For so long, they had fought against walkers that they forgot how evil humans could still be.

"I don't blame yah. I blame myself for not making yah stay. Tha Governor didn't want to be found." He rubbed her sore knuckles.

Michonne took in Daryl's features. His deep brown hair had grown as well as the grey hairs in his beard. She wanted to touch him. Take in this moment that she could only relive in her memories.

"Stop lying to me." She snatched her hand away. "If you wanted me to stay why didn't you tell me."

"Because I didn't know you wanted meh to. I didn't know. I didn't know." He repeated.

It was at that moment Michonne felt his pain. Shared his pain. It was like the old times again. Both were overwhelmed by emotions they could not describe. But this had needed to happen.

Both were searching each other's eyes.

Michonne shook her head. Hating how her body was welcoming his touch again. He should have known that she needed him the most. All the time they spent together. Drinking. Tracking. Being able to depend on one another.

"It doesn't stop the fact that it still happened. Now we are here hoping that Eugene has this cure." The bitterness dripped from her voice.

"It could be true."

"Is that what Beth said?"

"No. Rick did." The immediate silence caused her to look away.

Rick their fearless leader. The man who put life inside of her again. He saved her time and time again. Like she had him but it didn't erase what she really wanted. Why didn't she love him? Why couldn't she let Daryl and this jealously she had for Beth go.

Daryl had no right to ask if anything happened between them. But the minute he came back, he noticed their unbreakable bond. She was now Carl's mother. She had put herself in the position to not be with him. He wanted her happy regardless. Seeing her after those months. Doing his all to protect her from Joe. Sacrificing himself for them all. Rick could and would everything to protect her….

"At times Rick sees what he wants to see. He's not like you." She didn't mean for that last part to come out.

"I should go back inside and rest."

"Wait." He gripped her wrist. Lacing their fingers together. "I ain't done Michonne."

"I'm done talking. It's never got me anywhere in this world. You of all people should know that. Daryl I'm tired of fighting. And having to be strong for Rick and Carl all the time. It's a sacrifice I am willing to take but I have no one to be my strength. I can't be strong all the time." He embraced her to her surprise.

Beth had to be the one to show him this. He smelt the same. That masculine scent. She never thought she would feel his arms around her again. Resting her head on his chest, she wrapped her arms around his waist. She was home again, but that wouldn't last.

"Daryl. Go." She tried to be strong.

"No. I cant' do that. Not now. Not after all this. Don't…."

"That is why you have to. So much has happened. So much has changed. Everyone has found something that was remotely close to their old life but me. Rick and Carl have me. You have Beth and Carol. And its like I'm still the outsider."

"No yah aint. Yah got meh. Yah always had meh."

"No I don't. I'm fine with this. I am. I have always been the loner. It would be crazy if I thought you and I could….we just aren't meant to be. I can live with that."

"But I can't Michonne. I thought yah were dead. I had nuthin left. Then I saw yah and Rick. The way he looks at you."

"I don't want Rick. I never did."

"I don't want Beth. Or Carol. Hell. I Just want yah."

"but Beth can love you better. Even Carol. You know that. There is nothing that we can do with these feelings. I spent so long time hating you to hide how much I….." She paused as she looked in his clear blue eyes.

"Beth has made you into this open person. You aren't afraid to show how you feel. I'm glad you weren't by yourself. I….."

"Michonne." His deep voice stopped her.

"No. Listen. It's not me to talk about my feelings Daryl. Half the time I wish I didn't have them. I've convinced myself that I can't feel but you make me know otherwise. I care for you."

"I care fer yah too. And I'm sorry it took meh this long to say it. I see Beth and Carol as sisters."

"But they don't. They see you as their protector. It's much more. Like Rick sees me as this mother figure for Carl. He loves me. They love us."

"We need to stop thinking about what they want and think about what we want."

"But we don't even know what that is."

What was the point of talking if nothing was accomplished? Their feelings for one another were expressed but nothing could come out of it. Michonne closed her eyes as Daryl played with her hair. The thick locks he played with when they went on runs together. Folding her lips, she rubbed her thumb across his lips.

"If it was just us? What would you do?" Daryl hoped she would answer.

"I. would." Michonne took a deep breath.

It was time to be honest with him. with herself. if not, she would hurt them both. She knew how hard it was for him to reach out to her like this. He was giving her control, but she didn't know if she was ready for it yet.

What would Rick and Carl say? Beth? Carol? They had to enough to fight against. But Daryl's blue eyes gave her the confidence she needed to give herself to him. Placing all fear aside, she kissed him.

It was barely there, but it happened.

"I should go back inside." She said.

"Is that what you want?"

"No but this is how it has to be."