It was a warm night in New Rome. The fountains were flowing and lights twinkled on verandas and in piazzas. The elegant domes and arches rose into the darkening sky. Laughter trickled over the rush of the river and the sound of pipes. It was a new city, then an old city, then a new city again; repaired from the times of turmoil between camps by the rejoicing children of Athena- especially Annabeth Chase. It was just like it had been before, but with an added touch of Greek to remind the two groups of demigods that they were together, as one. It was a happy place, a peaceful place.
Excluding the Jackson home.
"We're going to be late!"Percy cried from the bottom of the stairs. Spaghetti sauce was smeared over the countertops and across the floor, even dotting the ceiling. Four children rushed around with toy trucks, giggling and summoning water from the kitchen sink.
"I know, just one second!" Annabeth fumbled on her shoes as she descended. "Where's the babysitter?"
Percy was in the midst of rushing their children around the house, ordering them away from the faucet and the fridge and to stop pulling down their pants. His blue tie was undone and his dark hair was messy. There was a tomato juice smudge under his eye. He looked ready to pass out. When Annabeth asked the question, he met her eyes with a small smile and nothing else.
"Percy," she said slowly, "Did you hire a babysitter?"
"Well… yes. And no. But don't worry."
"Really? Today? The one day they don't have open tables anywhere and you forget to hire-"
"I didn't forget," he avows. "There is a babysitter coming to this house, and he'll be here any minute. I promise." He came up to her and gave her a peck on the cheek. "I can follow you into Tartarus; I can hire a babysitter."
The children raged around them, screaming and snickering. Percy looked down at them. "I'm starting to think twelve kids would've been too many."
"It's taken you this long to understand?" She brushed blonde hair from her eyes and grinned. "When is that sitter gonna be here, again?"
There was a knock at the door. He rushed to answer it, but was ambushed by an unseen Party Pony doll lying on the ground, and fell flat on his face. Annabeth skirted him and opened the door.
"It's Uncle Leo!" The man at the door held his arms open wide. He had a cheeky smile that was hard to resist and curly brown hair falling over his eyes.
"Oh, thank the gods. You're here." Annabeth couldn't help but smile at him. "Percy, get off the floor, Leo's here."
He did as he was told and met his old friend with a giant bear hug that nearly crushed him. "I told you he'd be here."
"Right, well, we have to go." She looked over the chaotic house. "Our table might be taken if we don't go now. Are you sure you can handle this?"
Leo looked over the four children and the smear of spaghetti sauce. He shrugged, "Doesn't look too hard. I'll be fine. Don't you worry. Just go get your romance on or whatever, we'll be here." He smiled again.
Annabeth nodded. "All right. Thanks, Leo."
Percy turned his head and gave a short wave. "Bye!" And they left, with an untied tie and a missing shoe, in the hopes that the house would not be on fire when they returned.
Leo turned to face his task. It was just like a fighting a monster, he thought, except with more "nicey-nicey," and less "slashy-slashy." He rifled through his tool belt and pulled out a glimmering bronze centaur equipped with bow and arrow. "Hey kids!" He called. "Look who brought toys!"
The kids dropped what they were doing and ran over to where he stood. "What's that?" asked the tallest.
"Does it shoot?" The girl wondered with wide eyes.
"Is it fully aquatic?" The third tallest asked.
The smallest, no older than a year and a half, giggled.
"Yes, yes, and yes," Leo affirmed. "Wait…" He thought for a moment. "Uh… it's a Party Pony 2.0! It shoots arrows from its state-of-the-art bow, and you can drown it as much as you want. Modeled after our good friend Chiron. Pretty cool, huh?" He handed it down to the little girl. She pushed a button and let it shoot toothpick-sized arrows into the sky. Leo pulled out three more.
"You get a Party Pony, and you get a Party Pony- everybody gets a Party Pony!"
The children shrieked with laughter and began playing with the toys. Leo smiled and moved on into the kitchen. It was a mess. Was he supposed to clean it up…? Nah. He moved on. He took a tour of the whole house, having not been there for a while. The kids had already gotten so big… it was almost enough to make a grown demigod cry. He never did end up having kids of his own, so it was nice to hang out with his friends'. But he didn't want to think about that now.
He flopped down on the sofa and leaped back up with a cry of pain. He had sat on the edge of a book hidden by a cushion. He picked it up and read the title. "'A Little Daedulus Guide to Architecture.' Hm. Must be a bunch of little Wise Girls and Boys running around here then. Good to know." He tossed the book aside before sitting down again. He shifted around until… was that…? He stood up and lifted the cushion. There was another book underneath it. He sighed and lifted it to read the title. '"Glub Goes The Fish.' All right. Little Seaweed Brains, too."
Leo gave up on sitting and moved back to where the kids were playing in the living room. He scratched his head. He had never babysat before- well, once. For Piper and Jason. But they only had one kid, and all he did was read Thor comics and stare at the wall. Unless he talked about surfing, which made him light up and never shut up. Kind of boring.
But these kids were different. Like Percy and Annabeth, only loud, and multiple. He clapped his hands together. "So, kids? What do you wanna do now?"
They turned to him. "I'm hungry," said the tallest.
"I am, too," said the girl. "According to statistics I have taken of how often Mommy and Daddy feed us, we should be fed every three hours. It has been three hours and forty-three minutes thus far. I believe our meal time is long overdue."
Leo scratched his head. "Uh… okay. You sure take after Annab- I mean Mommy. But sure, let's go to the kitchen. You grab the little one there, and we can go." The children complied and followed him. They pulled themselves up onto three stools in front of the island. Leo went around and placed the smallest in the high chair beside them.
He stared at them from across the countertop. They were all impeccably cute. So cute it was almost suspicious. "So what are your names?" He asked. "I haven't seen you all for a while. Not since itty-bitty there was just a muffin in your mommy's tummy."
The younger boy looked horrified. "MUIRFINN USED TO BE A MUFFIN?!" The girl looked quizzical and the older brother startled. The baby, sensing the discomfort, began to cry.
Schist, thought Leo. "Uh- no! No no no no. That isn't what I meant."
"I AM NEVER EATING MUFFINS AGAIN!" The boy wailed.
Leo slapped his forehead. "All right, well, that's okay. We won't have any muffins. Just tell me your names."
The girl, who seemed unperturbed by this hiatus, replied first. She had curly blonde hair and green eyes, a spray of freckles over her cheeks. "Well that's Muirfinn," she pointed to the baby in the high chair. He had a sprout of blonde hair, too.
"That's an… interesting name."
"It means 'dwells by the beautiful sea.'" She stated.
"Oh. That's pretty."
"Daddy liked it 'cuz it sounded like 'Muffin,'" smiled the tallest. The other boy moaned like he was going to throw up on the counter.
"Yup. Sounds like something your dad would do."
"My name is Bianca," the girl told him.
"Bianca," Leo mused. "Kinda like… ah, you wouldn't know. I guess I wouldn't either."
She frowned and looked away, dimples forming in her cheeks even now, just like her father. "I know who Auntie Bianca is. I wish I could've met her, but she died in the Titan War before I was born. Were you in the Titan War?"
"Me?" Leo asked. "Psh, nah. I was in another war though." It didn't come off in his tone, but saying the words brought terrible things to mind. Bad memories. Very bad memories. He hoped these kids wouldn't have to go through that. "So what's your name?" He pointed to the boy who was still hyperventilating over his latest discovery- that babies came from muffins.
The little boy looked up at him. He looked like Percy, with black hair and wide green eyes, except his hair was a curly mop like Annabeth's. "My name is Charles."
"Charles. Like that Beckendorf guy. Didn't he…?"
"He also died in the Titan War," informed Bianca.
"Oh… that's sad. I never knew him. What's your name- the oldest one there?"
"He's not the oldest!" Bianca shouted. "I am! He's just taller than me!"
The boy sneered. "Yup. And I always will be."
"Don't bet on that," Leo warned.
"My name's Leaf," he said. He had brown hair and gray eyes.
"Leaf? Just Leaf?"
"Uncle Grover named him," Bianca said, as if it explained everything… which in a way, it did.
"But my middle name is Percy Jr.," he added.
"Right," Leo clapped his hands. "I remember now. "Bianca, Charles, Leaf Percy Jr., and… Muirfinn." The kids nodded. "Awesome! So what do you want to eat?"
Charles stood up on his chair. "Pancakes!" He declared as if announcing victory over an enemy. There were shouts of agreement from the other kids, even Muirfinn.
Leo let out a sigh of relief. Annabeth might not be happy with this choice of nutritional dinner, but oh well. "Okay. Pancakes. I can make pancakes… probably."
"We can help!" Leaf smiled. He seemed to do that a lot.
"All right, so what's the first ingredient?" He started pulling things out of the fridge that didn't even go with pancakes: lettuce, peanut butter, Oreos, bread crumbs…
Little Annabeth came up behind him and started putting these things away. "That's not how you make pancakes."
He cocked his head and stuck out his lip. "How do you make pancakes?"
"You need pancake mix, for one," she pattered off to the pantry. "You get that, and I'll get the other stuff."
"Okay." Leo walked into the pantry. He scanned over the contents, looking for pancake mix. He noticed four boxes of Blue Velvet Cake Mix and several rolls of pizza dough, not to mention many empty cans of Coke. "Ah, pancake mix!" He grabbed the box off the top shelf and returned to where Bianca was heating a pan over the stove. A distant voice within his head told him that was insanely dangerous.
"Here you go," he delivered the box on the counter beside her.
"Is it mixing time yet?" cried Charles hopefully.
"Almost," Bianca said. She opened the fridge and then pursed her lips. "Uncle Leo? Could you pour the milk, please? It's too heavy for me." She didn't seem happy admitting this, but Leo was glad there was something he could do.
"Sure thing, kiddo." He pulled out the milk carton and poured some into a bowl, followed by the pancake mix.
"I wanna stir!" Charles held out his hands for the bowl.
"Okay," Leo handed it to him. "Just don't get your fingers stuck in the whisk; believe me when I say it hurts."
The little boy took the bowl, grinning, and was about to begin stirring when a look of horror came over his face. "What is this?"
"Pancakes?" he tried. For a moment, the inexperienced babysitter was terrified out of his wits. True, he seldom made pancakes, but he knew that that was how they should look like at this stage of preparation, right?
Charles looked at him, his mouth open. "Why is it… white?"
"I-it's more of a cream color, actually, but um… because that's the color of pancakes?"
"Have you even EATEN pancakes? They aren't white, they're-"
There was a shriek from behind him. Leo turned around to find Bianca pulling the empty pan off the stove as flames caught to the dishtowels. Muirfinn began to cry in his high chair.
"I got this!" Leo grabbed the dishtowels, wondering for a moment if he could put the flames out as easily as he could make them appear. Like reverse-Frozen… But that would be stupid. He stood holding them for a moment longer, his eyes squeezed shut. Nothing. Dam. Guess he wasn't the anti-Elsa after all. Oh well-
"Uncle Leo!" Bianca's eyes were wide as she saw her babysitter holding burning objects in his hands and letting them lick at his orange t-shirt. She closed her eyes and the taps swiveled on by themselves. A huge wave of water formed in the air in front of them, and then was sent flying and crashing over Leo and the dishtowels.
He spluttered, soaking wet. Water dripped through his lashes and over the end of his nose. His normally bouncy brown curls lay flat and near-black against his forehead. "That," he says, "was unnecessary."
"You were on fire!" screamed Charles.
"I know!" Leo retorted with mock fervor.
"Ooooh," muttered Bianca as if realizing something important. "Momma told me that Uncle Leo is a son of Hephaestus."
"What does that mean?"
"Oh, right," said Leaf. "Daddy said 'Human Torch.'"
Leo chuckled. "Well, yeah, I guess. I make fire." He held out his hand and a fireball burst to life. He coddled it around then extinguished it. The kids looked as if they had just seen a monkey play Beethoven's first symphony on a grand piano. "And I don't get burned."
"You're my hero…" Charles said under his breath. "Do it again."
"Charlie," chided Bianca.
Leo combusted his hand again, this time letting the fire roll across his soaked back and down his spine, outlining his skeleton in flames. Muirfinn applauded. Charles did too. Leaf joined in, then a hesitant Bianca.
Then Charles seemed to remember the initial problem- the pancakes. "Uncle Leo, what did you do to the pancakes?"
"I guess… I don't know. Is there something wrong?" He scratched the back of his neck.
"They're not blue."
This stumped Leo. Blue. Blue pancakes… Pancakes that were blue? He should have just made fajitas.
"What do you mean they're not blue?" Leaf wandered over and peered into the bowl. "What the…?"
Bianca looked inside too, her curls hanging over the bowl of dough mix. "I don't get it."
Leo held his chin. He could figure out any blueprint, build any contraption, fix anything… but he couldn't make pancakes? He was great cook! But… not a pancake chef, it seemed.
"The special stuff!" Bianca snapped her fingers and rushed off to the pantry. The confused babysitter followed.
"Er, what's that?"
"Daddy's... secret… ingredient," she panted, hopping up and down to reach something on the top shelf. Leo grabbed it for her, reading the label.
"Blue food coloring."
"It's special stuff."
"Right. Okay, so we just add this to the mix?"
"Yup."
So they did; first removing the bowl from Charles' hands, then carefully pouring in a few drops of coloring. Leo stirred it until the whole thing was bright blue. "There. All better, right Chuck?" He presented the blue mix to the boy. Charles nodded. "Then, Annab- Bianca, you can get things frying!"
She flicked on the stove. Nothing happened. She tried again. Nothing. "I think it's broken."
"What? That's impossible."
"I think it got too hot, and then too wet," Leaf suggests, playing with his new Party Pony.
"Oh," Leo mutters. "Then…get me a pan."
Bianca obeyed and handed it over. Leo held the bottom in his palm, then started a small fire flickering around it. "The pancake mix," he demanded, pointing to it. The little girl snatched it before her brother could and tipped just enough inside for one pancake. They watched in silence as it bubbled and popped.
"Spatula." She handed him one. Slowly, with great concentration, Leo flipped the pancake.
The other side was a perfect, crisp blue. There came a cheer, from Muirfinn in his high chair, then Charles and Leaf, then Bianca and Leo. He pumped his fist in the air and whooped. The pancake sizzled and Bianca brought over a plate. Leo deposited the fruit of their efforts onto it- a steaming hot, ocean-blue pancake.
"The syrup!" shouted Leaf.
Then, just as carefully as it was flipped, the blue pancake was syrup-ed.
"Perfection," Leo whispered. The Jackson house was peaceful for just a moment. Then,
"I GET TO EAT IT FIRST!" Charles cried, lunging forward with his fork.
"NO!" Leo grabbed the potential weapon out of his hand before it impaled his sister rather than the flapjack. Leaf started to argue that it was his and Bianca countered that she had helped the most. Muirfinn just giggled. Oh yeah, gotta feed the baby. He found a baby bottle in the fridge and began to pour fresh milk inside.
The children continued to argue. Oh yeah, gotta make more pancakes. He set down his task. "No need to argue. More pancakes on the way. Just go play with the new toys Uncle Leo brought you, because he loves you guys more than anyone else, right?"
They mumbled agreement and went off to play while Charles ate his prize. Right, so now he had to heat another pan , pour in the mix, and maybe another pan because there were TWO kids, and oh, crap, gotta feed the baby, but what did babies eat other than milk and didn't milk have to be warm, and no- don't grab the bottle when you're still burning, idiot- and urgh they were so loud because they were hungry and-
"I want more," Charles interrupted Leo's train of thought.
Crap. "Just one second." The second pancake was almost done but the third wasn't even close, but why? Because you keep flaming off to grab the bottle and put it in the microwave…
So began a streak of the most difficult events in the entire life of Leo Valdez: son of Hephaestus, survivor of a giant war, master of masonry and craftsmanship, holder of the rare and powerful flame.
He tried to cook two pancakes at once while heating the baby bottle. The kids ran in and out, throwing their plates up to catch the pancakes he flipped in the air. He switched back and forth between mixing and dying and heating and frying and slipping and shouting to the kids. Blue dye was spilled all over the countertop. Dishes were broken on the still-wet floor. Frightened screams leaped from the children's mouths. Water was accidentally summoned multiple times. Leo's nose burst into flames every few seconds. Pans went flying. Batter was splotched on everything in the kitchen- living or not. Pancakes lit up like Christmas trees. Very scary Christmas trees.
After several panicked fireballs aimed at the evil refrigerator that opened by itself (discovered to be a terrified Charles), something terrible happened. Something that no one saw coming, even though they all knew it would happen eventually.
The front door opened.
Things went quiet. Quiet as a dead drakon. They were all frozen in place; Leo in mid-fireball-throwing stance, Charles in mid-scream of terror, Bianca in mid-batter-spilling position, Leaf in mid-bite of blue pancake, and Muirfinn in mid-giggle. The door swung open with a squeak. Percy and Annabeth entered.
"We're home!" They shouted. Their gazes flickered over the living room and staircase, and then landed on the kitchen. They, too, froze. It was like nasty Khione's dream come true.
At a pace set slower than any slow-motion replay Leo had ever seen, he and the kids slipped out of freeze-mode. He set his leg back down and pulled his arms back in at his sides. Charles closed his mouth. Bianca righted the bowl and set it on the counter. Leaf swallowed his food. Muirfinn swallowed his giggle. Then Bianca grabbed Muirfinn and they dashed up the stairs and out of sight.
Poor Leo stood there in the spaghetti-smeared, soaking wet, half-charred, pancake-y kitchen, uncertain. He waved. "Hey guys."
A pancake fell off the ceiling on landed on his head. They stared at him in awe. A little flame burst from his nose. No one moved.
Finally, Percy lifted his finger, pointing. Leo cringed under his pancake hat at the next words he expected to come from his friend's mouth. But they were not what he expected.
"Are those blue pancakes?"
Leo blinked. He turned to where he was pointing. There was a stack of ocean-blue flapjacks settled on a plate beside him, perhaps the only thing in the kitchen left intact.
"Yeah, man," he replied, looking up again. Had he done something wrong? Okay, he knew that, but were blue pancakes, like, illegal in New Rome? He watched his two friends in a state of half terror/half uncertainty.
Percy rushed the kitchen. Leo sidestepped in fear of being football-tackled by a Greek legend, but instead was overlooked. "Wha-?"
Percy shoved a forkful of pancake into his mouth. "Holy Hera! These are amazing! You should be a chef, not a repair guy!"
Go with the flow… He shrugged. "It's nothing."
"Annabeth, come'ere," Percy urged. "Leo made blue pancakes!"
Annabeth stepped into the kitchen, looking around her. "I noticed."
"So d'you guys have fun?" Leo asked, attempting to change the subject.
Percy nodded. Annabeth clarified. "It was great. You should have been there, but we know how it is between you and-"
"Right, right," he nodded, scrambling away from the topic again. "Sounds fantastic. Well, good to see you guys again. Cute kids. Have fun with them. I'll see you around." He patted them both on the back and walked towards the door.
"Wait a minute," Annabeth called after him. He cursed under his breath. Almost had it. He turned back around. They stood with blue smudged on their faces- well, Percy did. But Annabeth was holding the fork. "Aren't you going to give us the recipe?"
A grin spread across his face. He sent a thousand prayers of thanks to the gods. "Some things must remain a mystery. I gotta keep you guys coming back to Leoville somehow, right?" He came up and gave each of them a friendly kiss on the forehead. "And appreciate those kids since you got 'em," he murmured. Then he left.
There was a whisper from the direction of the staircase. "Uncle Leo." He glanced back. Bianca was crouched on the landing. "You're a great babysitter." He smiled, and his heart warmed a little. He winked and shut the door.
It was a beautiful night in New Rome. Leo Valdez exited the Jackson home and strode out onto the cobbled street. He felt good after spending time with his niece and nephews: fresh, and happy. Happy. That was the feeling he should've gotten from walking past all the laughing couples on verandas and musicians playing by fountains, and while mounting Happy the Dragon on the far side of town. But as they rose into the sky and wind whistled through his ears, he couldn't shake that shadow of sadness that followed him everywhere he went.
He watched the clouds roll by, trying to think of his next project, trying to think of where he should go next, but he knew that wherever he went, and whatever he did, there was only place he wished he could be. Ogygia. Even if it meant eternity there.
He looked down and let the wind take him where it would.
