Dimension of Hot Dogs
a little rumination by TAFKAE
A/N: Y'know how when the characters summon GFs, they disappear? This is where I think they go, paired with my desire to write something about Zell.
~*~*~
Where am I?
Zell Dincht looked around. He was in a big room full of tables, that looked rather like the cafeteria at Balamb Garden. But he hadn't been here a second ago. He remembered being at his SeeD test, and in the middle of a fight, and then he'd summoned a GF - Ifrit, it was.
Admittedly, he'd been a little bit nervous at first. After all, he was used to using his fists to fight, and had never summoned a GF before. He'd never needed to. But then there was the test, he'd needed it on the test. For almost a full minute he'd concen-trated while Squall and Seifer got rough with it; he would be the finishing move. Then he had it. And there was the heat - Ifrit was a fire elemental, so that was understandable - and then… and then…
And then he'd found himself here, wherever here was. He surveyed his surroundings again. He was surprised to see Shiva sitting at a table, stuffing her pretty face with hot dogs.
Hot dogs…!
Zell dashed up to the counter, where there was a big bird thingy (whom he recognized as Quezacoatl) poking at something on a grill. Hot dogs. Hot dogs! "Hey, uh, how much do those cost?"
Quezacoatl looked up and grinned (or did something Zell interpreted as a grin). "Free! It's all-you-can-eat here." It poked over its shoulder with the tongs. "But Shiva there… I think she could stand to stop it pretty soon, or she's gonna gain weight and then she'll never manage to reel that Squall guy in."
Zell looked back at her, then at the grill-happy thunderbird. "Can I have a couple?"
"Sure!" Quezacoatl plucked about ten hot dogs off the grill and plunked them onto buns on two or three plates. "Squall was talking about you. He says you absolutely love these things…"
"Squall's been here?"
"All the time! He's one of our best customers."
"But you don't charge." Zell took the tray and balanced it deftly on his fingertips.
"Would you like me to start?"
He shook his head, mouth full of a bite of hot dog. Saying it was heavenly would have been an understatement. It was the best hot dog he'd ever had. For a moment he wondered if Garden's were this good, and realized he'd never had one. As fast as he could, he scarfed the rest of it down, but then -
He suddenly found himself back on the battlefield, the taste of the hot dog from heaven still in his mouth. "Ack?"
Squall smiled a bit. "We won. No contest."
Zell stared blankly into space, trembling in shock. "The… the…" He fell to his knees, trying to mutter something, but the words wouldn't come.
"What's wrong with him?" Seifer demanded, grimacing at his forced teammate's condition.
Zell turned his face to him, his eyes full of tears. "The hot dogs," he whispered. "I couldn't finish… the…"
Squall walked over and knelt beside him, laying a hand on the martial artist's shoulder. "It's all right. There's always next time."
"Would someone care to tell me what the hell you're talking about?!" Seifer shouted.
"You wouldn't know," Squall sighed. "You've never used a GF."
"So?"
Zell suddenly burst into open tears. "IFRIT'S GONNA GET TO EAT MY HOT DOGS!!!"
*pat, pat, pat* "There, there."
Seifer folded his arms and sighed in obvious exasperation. "God damn! You two are like little kids!" He walked over and kicked Zell's leg. "Get up, Chicken-Wuss. The mission's not over until the fat lady sings," he said, gesturing at Quistis, who promptly klonked him over the head with the handle of her whip.
Zell rubbed his new bruise and stood, grinning like an idiot. "Never make fun of a woman with a cult following!"
"Shut up!" Seifer snapped. The instructor smirked evilly.
~*~*~
It's better than diamonds and worth more than gold,
It's always been around, but will never get old.
It's perfectly perfect, it's simply divine,
O GF-realm hot dog, I WILL MAKE YOU MINE!!!
"Zell?"
Zell jumped, causing his pencil to streak across the paper and off the edge, breaking the tip clean off. He turned around to see Squall leaning casually on the doorframe. "Oh, hey there. It's rude to sneak up on people like that, y'know…"
"What're you writing?" Squall asked as he walked to his friend's desk and leaned thereon.
"It's mine," Zell replied indignantly, trying to hide the words, but Squall was too fast; he had it before Zell could spit out a curse. "Damnit Squall, give it back!"
Squall's eyes quickly shot from one side of the paper to the other a few times, and he'd finished reading it within about three seconds. "Geez… Zell, you are just obsessed with hot dogs, aren't you?" It was more of a statement than a question.
Zell pulled himself quickly to his feet and grumbled as he snatched the sheet of loose-leaf back. "Without food there would be no life. Without life there would be no women." He looked up and pressed one finger to his chin. "On the other hand, there would be no Disciplinary Committee either…"
"Does this mean you'll be giving up on the Garden hot dogs?" Squall closed his eyes, leaning against the wall and smiling in almost blatant amusement.
"Hell no!" Zell grinned like an idiot. "Not a chance. You just watch, I'll get one eventually. I wonder if they're as good as the GF hot dogs…"
~*~*~
Narrator: So Zell's quest for the Garden hot dogs continues…
Zell: There's a narrator?
Ed: Yep! That'd be me! *holds up little "narrator" sign with an arrow pointing at herself*
Zell: Can I do something too?
Ed: *hugs him* Yeah, you can be the narrator's boyfriend!
Zell: o_O;; Ehehe…
*STORY END*
a little rumination by TAFKAE
A/N: Y'know how when the characters summon GFs, they disappear? This is where I think they go, paired with my desire to write something about Zell.
~*~*~
Where am I?
Zell Dincht looked around. He was in a big room full of tables, that looked rather like the cafeteria at Balamb Garden. But he hadn't been here a second ago. He remembered being at his SeeD test, and in the middle of a fight, and then he'd summoned a GF - Ifrit, it was.
Admittedly, he'd been a little bit nervous at first. After all, he was used to using his fists to fight, and had never summoned a GF before. He'd never needed to. But then there was the test, he'd needed it on the test. For almost a full minute he'd concen-trated while Squall and Seifer got rough with it; he would be the finishing move. Then he had it. And there was the heat - Ifrit was a fire elemental, so that was understandable - and then… and then…
And then he'd found himself here, wherever here was. He surveyed his surroundings again. He was surprised to see Shiva sitting at a table, stuffing her pretty face with hot dogs.
Hot dogs…!
Zell dashed up to the counter, where there was a big bird thingy (whom he recognized as Quezacoatl) poking at something on a grill. Hot dogs. Hot dogs! "Hey, uh, how much do those cost?"
Quezacoatl looked up and grinned (or did something Zell interpreted as a grin). "Free! It's all-you-can-eat here." It poked over its shoulder with the tongs. "But Shiva there… I think she could stand to stop it pretty soon, or she's gonna gain weight and then she'll never manage to reel that Squall guy in."
Zell looked back at her, then at the grill-happy thunderbird. "Can I have a couple?"
"Sure!" Quezacoatl plucked about ten hot dogs off the grill and plunked them onto buns on two or three plates. "Squall was talking about you. He says you absolutely love these things…"
"Squall's been here?"
"All the time! He's one of our best customers."
"But you don't charge." Zell took the tray and balanced it deftly on his fingertips.
"Would you like me to start?"
He shook his head, mouth full of a bite of hot dog. Saying it was heavenly would have been an understatement. It was the best hot dog he'd ever had. For a moment he wondered if Garden's were this good, and realized he'd never had one. As fast as he could, he scarfed the rest of it down, but then -
He suddenly found himself back on the battlefield, the taste of the hot dog from heaven still in his mouth. "Ack?"
Squall smiled a bit. "We won. No contest."
Zell stared blankly into space, trembling in shock. "The… the…" He fell to his knees, trying to mutter something, but the words wouldn't come.
"What's wrong with him?" Seifer demanded, grimacing at his forced teammate's condition.
Zell turned his face to him, his eyes full of tears. "The hot dogs," he whispered. "I couldn't finish… the…"
Squall walked over and knelt beside him, laying a hand on the martial artist's shoulder. "It's all right. There's always next time."
"Would someone care to tell me what the hell you're talking about?!" Seifer shouted.
"You wouldn't know," Squall sighed. "You've never used a GF."
"So?"
Zell suddenly burst into open tears. "IFRIT'S GONNA GET TO EAT MY HOT DOGS!!!"
*pat, pat, pat* "There, there."
Seifer folded his arms and sighed in obvious exasperation. "God damn! You two are like little kids!" He walked over and kicked Zell's leg. "Get up, Chicken-Wuss. The mission's not over until the fat lady sings," he said, gesturing at Quistis, who promptly klonked him over the head with the handle of her whip.
Zell rubbed his new bruise and stood, grinning like an idiot. "Never make fun of a woman with a cult following!"
"Shut up!" Seifer snapped. The instructor smirked evilly.
~*~*~
It's better than diamonds and worth more than gold,
It's always been around, but will never get old.
It's perfectly perfect, it's simply divine,
O GF-realm hot dog, I WILL MAKE YOU MINE!!!
"Zell?"
Zell jumped, causing his pencil to streak across the paper and off the edge, breaking the tip clean off. He turned around to see Squall leaning casually on the doorframe. "Oh, hey there. It's rude to sneak up on people like that, y'know…"
"What're you writing?" Squall asked as he walked to his friend's desk and leaned thereon.
"It's mine," Zell replied indignantly, trying to hide the words, but Squall was too fast; he had it before Zell could spit out a curse. "Damnit Squall, give it back!"
Squall's eyes quickly shot from one side of the paper to the other a few times, and he'd finished reading it within about three seconds. "Geez… Zell, you are just obsessed with hot dogs, aren't you?" It was more of a statement than a question.
Zell pulled himself quickly to his feet and grumbled as he snatched the sheet of loose-leaf back. "Without food there would be no life. Without life there would be no women." He looked up and pressed one finger to his chin. "On the other hand, there would be no Disciplinary Committee either…"
"Does this mean you'll be giving up on the Garden hot dogs?" Squall closed his eyes, leaning against the wall and smiling in almost blatant amusement.
"Hell no!" Zell grinned like an idiot. "Not a chance. You just watch, I'll get one eventually. I wonder if they're as good as the GF hot dogs…"
~*~*~
Narrator: So Zell's quest for the Garden hot dogs continues…
Zell: There's a narrator?
Ed: Yep! That'd be me! *holds up little "narrator" sign with an arrow pointing at herself*
Zell: Can I do something too?
Ed: *hugs him* Yeah, you can be the narrator's boyfriend!
Zell: o_O;; Ehehe…
*STORY END*