Ladies and Gentleman, of the Quantico training class of '00
Don't Smoke.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, not smoking would be it. The long-term disadvantages of smoking have been proven by old conspiratorial men. Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of the truth. Oh never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of the truth until they steal all your evidence. But trust me(though no one else), in a few seasons, you'll look back at casefiles of your sister, and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you, and how fabulous your partner really looked. You are not as spooky as you imagine.
Don't fight the future. Or fight, but know that fighting is as effective as trying to find the proof of extraterrestrials in a conspiracy filled government. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your paranoid mind the kind that blindside you at 4pm on your way to the AD's office.
Put one liver eating mutant away every 30 years.
Believe.
Don't be reckless with your cell phone even though you have been before. Don't put up with people who are reckless with your rental car.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on background checks. Sometimes your on the x-files, sometimes your not. The search is long and, in the end, you'll get back on the x-files. You always do.
Remember compliments you receive, forget the strange looks the other agent's give you. If you learn how to do this, tell your partner how.
Keep your old casefiles, throw away your old expense reports, no one needs to remember the time you spent all that money on a hoax photo.
Don't trust.
Don't feel guilty if you haven't found the truth yet, some of the most interesting people I know, didn't know at 22 that there was even a truth to be found. Atleast your looking.
Get plenty of rest. Be kind to your rental cars. The Bureau won't be happy if you reck another one.
Maybe you'll be proven right, maybe your partner will, maybe you'll find your sister, maybe you won't, maybe you'll become a pencil pusher upstairs, maybe you'll stay in the basement with your believe and throw pencils at the ceiling, rather then pushing them.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, only of the people who can squeeze their's threw air vents.
Laugh, even if it's only once every 5 seasons.
Read the rule book, even though you'll never follow it.
Do not read your partner's copy of Skeptic Magazine, it will only make you feel less believable.
Get to know your informants. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your partner, she's the best one you've had and the one most likely to defend even your strangest ideas to others.
Understand that cases come and go, but for a precious few hold on. Work hard to bridge the gap between the truth and what 'they' tell you, because the older you get, the more you need people like the Lone Gunman to do your dirty work.
Live in New York city once, to try and find the syndicates headquarters, but leave before they find out your looking.
Go Back to DC.
Accept certain inalienable facts, the truth is hard to find, even harder to proof. Others will not believe you, and when they don't, you'll remember when you were young, how the truth wasn't important, and your sister wasn't abducted by the alien controlled government for biological research.
Respect your AD.
Don't expect anyone but your partner to support you. Maybe you have evidence, maybe you have a witness, but you never know when either could be stolen from you...again.
Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time your in season 8 it will look as if it's in season 20.
Be careful whose truths you by, but be patient with those that dispense it. The truth is out there, and dispensing it could be a way to help in your search, or a way to confuse the real truth your searching for. Trust no one else,
...But trust me on not smoking.
A/N: Is it the liver eating mutant that comes out every 30 years? I can't remember...*wince* Forgive me if it's not.