I do now own any characters or storylines developed and owned by Stephenie Meyer.
This was only edited by me. Sorry if it's terrible. I'm trying to find a beta now. Suggestions??
Please REVIEW!!!
Shameless A/N
Merry Christmas, even though mine is sucking bad and I don't really like this time of year in the first place. Let's hope it's not like this for everyone.
This experience didn't happen in real life (well, obviously, but believe me I wished it had) but I recently was stuck at a Christmas party in which I had to find ways to hide in the house to keep my fucking sanity. I'm so Bella in the story in some ways.
Uh, this is technically my first lemon. But hey at least its not my first story...Right?
I want to send my love to my friend Nostalgicmiss. I have no idea if she's read this, but she was encouraging anyway. Love you babe.
Those of you who know my real identity don't reveal it please. I trust you guys over many people. I know you won't let me down.
Okay that's enough. Have fun with smutty Christmas lemon time.
I watched her longer than I would care to admit to anyone. It was as if sound vanished from the room, and all the other people were non-existent. The festive candles, the Christmas tree, and overwhelming smells of warm spices didn't matter. She was my only focus, but this wasn't anything new. I had been fascinated by her from the moment we had met. She was beautiful, intelligent, and apparently completely oblivious to my thinly veiled feelings.
Christmas was here and despite everyone else's cheerfulness it only reminded me that I had known Bella Swan for exactly six months now. A half a year and I was still no closer to her than a friend. I would often convince myself that things could be much worse. Perhaps if I had no relationship with her at all, but then this gave no comfort because I knew deep down that she was the only one I would ever want so completely.
Bella was always gorgeous but tonight she looked even more ravishing with her red dress and open black sweater. It wasn't what she wore though; it was how she wore it. Most women looked so uncomfortable at holiday functions like this because of what they wore. They tortured themselves in too high heels because they knew it made their legs look longer. For some reason women were under the misconception that all men liked tall woman. As long as the women weren't taller than them, most men didn't really care otherwise. These women wore small skirts that made them walk or sit awkwardly to not show their naughty bits. Of course there were some women in my experience who wanted you to get a peek.
Bella didn't look or act like that. Well, I can't say she looked comfortable in all the strained social interactions with strangers that went along with parties. She didn't talk to many people unless she felt relaxed enough in the subject. Even if she joined a conversation she was easily eclipsed by more exuberant personalities. She shrunk away out of the circle and wondered off to be alone. If approached again then she didn't talk as much or tried to draw very little attention to herself.
I never saw myself as man to admire mousey women. I always questioned their reasons. Were they told it would attract more men or perhaps they were trained by an abusive situation or childhood? I knew Bella well enough to know that she wasn't like that all the time. It made me happy that she wasn't that distant to me anymore. She was shy, but I liked that about her.
What the hell was I saying? I loved everything about her, even when she disagreed with me which was often. With this devotion I had to all things Bella I was sounding like a sentimental woman, but I would wear the accusation like a medal for her. I chuckled to myself and from across the room she looked up at me. Our eyes held as the room and time slowed down so I could drink the vision of her in. Before I knew it though she softly smiled and continued across the room. Time returned to normal pace.
My sister Alice had put Bella on coat and purse duty for the family Christmas party this year. Alice had befriended Bella about a year ago, and quickly they became the best of friends. Soon Bella was at family dinners or parties. She always came alone. Not once did she bring a date. Sometimes Bella and I were the only single ones at a meeting. I would wonder if Alice was trying to set us up, but whenever I found the courage to ask I wavered right before going through with it.
We all had graduated and started that strange transition from college life to full-time jobs. Bella worked with Alice at a small fashion magazine. Bella edited and Alice of course was the all knowing investigator of upcoming designers and trends. I was the musician in the group which often brought either undeserved awe or criticism for being a slacker of some kind. I think my parents would display more of their disappointment in me for not following in my father's footsteps to become a physician if I wasn't an accomplished pianist. They were more than happy that I grew out of my drummer faze. They could sell a son to their friends who played a more traditional and accepted instrument.
I tried to hold back another chuckle when I saw Bella almost trip over her own feet. She steadied herself, arranged the coats and then went on. She had her own sense of grace I suppose in that way. I felt bad for Bella being on coat duty since I knew how it was. Despite it sounding like a rather easy job it was surprisingly difficult. You had to usually ask a complete stranger to strip off a layer of clothing and hand over everything they had of value stored in their handbag. It made you look like a small time charmer/criminal.
Bella was so innocent looking though people were responding a lot better than they had with me. I'm guessing women feel better about giving their purse to a creature of their own gender anyway. A man they believed would mistreat or steal from them. I cannot deny that I didn't help this prejudice develop throughout my teenage years.
When she turned the corner to put away the coats in the spare bedroom I followed her path. I'm not sure why but I had to know what she was thinking about this party, if she was in fact alone as I suspected, and what I could do help her. I knew that she usually held an expression of friendly duty for Alice when my families held parties, but I would love to hear her thoughts not just imagine them from the messages her expressions held.
Hell, I enjoyed hearing what she thought about everything period. The woman was the biggest mystery to me. She appeared innocent but she could tell the dirtiest jokes. She seemed shy but then when there was something she was passionate about she would defend it with all she had. She was ignorant of her own beauty and appeal but somehow always looked perfect and attractive.
There was something else though. This pull I felt towards her had many gentlemanly intentions, but then there were some less so. I had never fantasized about a woman like I did about Bella. Some were simple has having her in my bed in the middle of the afternoon pleasing her and making love to her all day. Then there were the ones I struggled with at the moment. I dreamed of grabbing her hand and marching her up to my childhood room to fuck her on the bed that I fantasized most of my adolescence of such an occurrence happening with the perfect woman. Bella was my perfect woman.
I was used to women responding to me in the way that Bella had me responding to her. I never intended for those women to be so wrapped up in catching my eye, and now I almost felt the need to apologize for unwittingly putting them in such a state. I don't think I could have sounded more arrogant with that statement.
I stepped into the threshold of the bedroom watching Bella lay out the coats with such thoughtfulness. I wanted to slap myself for being completely aroused by her simply taking the time to make sure the articles were placed with care. I had to restrain myself from attacking her now that I had thought of such sordid scenarios seconds ago. Her back was to me and I had to gulp down my caveman tendencies as she leaned forward hiking her dress up showing me the back of her thigh. I stared at the expanse of skin and immediately wanted to touch it. I wanted to know what it felt like, and I wanted to know what it would make Bella feel like when I touched her.
"Oh, Edward!" My eyes quickly adjusted themselves to a more appropriate view. Her brown eyes were wide. I had startled her.
"I'm sorry." I smiled to myself thinking I wasn't really that sorry. I'd had a really nice view a moment before.
"Uh, I saw Alice was making you her coat attendant tonight." I pointed to the bed where the coats and purses were lined up with precision. "You do a better job than I would have."
"No, I'm pretty sure anyone can do this job." She smiled brightly at me. "It's getting used to everyone's ambivalence and distrust that is hard."
"I can definitely understand that." I shrugged.
"I don't mind this job too much though. Usually people hand off their stuff and you can hide in here for a little while." She sat on the still empty part of the massive bed. It didn't help stop my lustful thoughts seeing her on a bed. I pushed through it however and retained my manners. I walked further into the room.
"Yeah, I noticed that."
"What?" She asked.
Everything Bella. Absolutely everything about you.
"You sometimes have hard time at these Cullen Family Functions." My voice dripped with sarcasm and perhaps a little resentment. Being such a prominent family in the community came with benefits and disadvantages. I had experienced a lot of cons through the years.
"They always invite so many people." Bella nearly whispered after thinking about it for a moment. I pondered if she was debating saying anything that might have sounded derogatory to me about my family. It was unnecessary since I was their biggest judge.
"Yes, well that's because they know a lot of people, and a lot of people want to know them. One reason being he's one of the most celebrated doctors on the West coast, and the other because they're loaded. And rich people like to show off to other people who like that they're rich." The combination seemed rather obvious to me.
Bella softly laughed with a look of shock on her face at my comments. I was honest with how most people saw my family. I was almost sure Bella didn't see us that way, but then again I had been fooled before. I ejected such doubting thoughts from my mind. I was in a bedroom. Alone. With Bella.
"It's just hard for me sometimes with so many people. It can get very stuffy and I don't know most of them." She looked down and brushed some wrinkles out of her dress. I tried not to watch the movement too closely.
"Why don't you ever bring anyone to any of the parties then?" I hedged. Her eyes shot up to me and she looked caught off guard. I hoped it was for the same reason I never brought a date.
"Oh, well…someone is coming up tonight. They're just late." With Bella's words I felt my chest cave in.
So Christmas wishes really don't come true. I had waited too long. Wasted too much time. I could not have been more idiotic to believe that somebody else wouldn't see what an amazing woman she was.
"Oh." I didn't say anything else for a solid minute. The air tensed in a strange way and I was sure the heater had been turned up to the temperature of the sun.
My skin boiled under my sweater. I quipped in my head that taking off my sweater to find relief from the heat probably would be uncalled for since all my hopes were now dashed. Not that I had expected to be undressed in front of Bella at all tonight, but one could dream.
"Is he your boyfriend?" I asked the stupid question that would solidify this Christmas, this year as the worst of my life.
"What?" She looked confused before she laughed at me. She laughed. Awesome. Worst fucking night ever.
"No. No, it's not even a guy. She is one of my best friends. Angela." She laughed again while I slowly unfroze my features and tried to feel my body's normal temperature return. My cheeks remained flushed in my own embarrassment over assuming and therefore revealing my regard and even jealousy, but were washed cool with my relief. I laughed with her finally.
"I told Alice that going to these parties always reminds me of a party in Pride & Prejudice. Well, at least in the movie version. Alice is my Charlotte in a way and Angela is my Jane. I've always seen myself as Elizabeth." She explained quickly.
"How so?" I asked propping myself up against the nearest wall to hear her reasoning.
"Um…Well, I suppose I always feel out of place. I feel like I'm often thinking of something absolutely different than the other women around me. I have a wonderful talent of putting my foot in my mouth offending or confusing someone. I usually misinterpret people and can have the worst first impressions. I can become blinded by my own pride or even by the pride I hold for my family and friends." She finished as I stared at her. She squirmed under my gaze believing perhaps that I disagreed with her before trying to continue to explain.
"I mean I'm not a perfect match to the character of course and really neither are Alice or Angela, but sometimes I can relate to not understanding why people act the way they do. Or why they think I have to be subjected to the same thinking or that I should be."
"Don't confuse my silence as me not understanding you." I assured her before she became even more flustered. "I think I can completely comprehend your meaning. In fact there have been times I've found myself relating to Mr. Darcy." I confessed more than eager to try to create our own love story as in the novel. That is if she was willing to be my Elizabeth.
She scrunched her face up as if giving me a serious once over. She playfully tried to act professional as she made her silent observations before nodding her head up and down. "Yes, I do believe you would make a respectable Mr. Darcy."
"Fabulous." I gave her a crooked smile.
Then once more like every time I was near her I got lost at what I was going to say or what I was thinking. She was so beautiful in every way and my longing for her climbed to greater heights. I tried to think of something else to say but apparently I was much occupied with more lascivious thoughts to conjure any of my wit. I cleared my throat after we didn't say anything for a minute.
"I should probably get back." Bella stood up and made a gesture to leave even though it appeared for one reason or another she was reluctant to. I stopped her when she was a foot in front of me.
"Hey, you don't have to be a servant tonight Bella. You're a guest and a friend." God, I wanted to refer to her as something else, something a lot more intimate.
"Anyway, Alice can deal. I could tell in there you might enjoy more than only a few minutes of quiet. The party has just started. You still have hours to rejoin it." I wanted to laugh at how close I was to begging.
"Yeah." She chuckled softly. "How could you tell? I thought I was performing so well as a person enjoying the company of dozens of strangers in a giant McMansion filled with things I will most likely bump into and break."
I laughed out loud. "Don't worry I'll keep an eye on you. So I guess you want to escape?" I felt my mind go wild with thousands of plans and confessions and hopes as I asked the question.
I wanted her so badly to say yes because then I would make sure I found a way to tell her tonight how I felt. She bit her lip. She looked to the bed filled with strangers possessions and then back to me. A smile slowly spread across her features before she nodded.
"Come on." I grabbed her hand and looked away before I could tell if she was okay with it or not. I felt so alive whenever I touched her which wasn't as much as I wanted. Handshakes and side hugs were not going suffice for me any longer. I needed to touch her. I needed her.
We started slowly down the hall. I knew that Alice at some point would be looking for either me or Bella so we needed to be stealthy. Alice would want me to pitch in with hosting duties and eventually playing a few songs on the piano. I hated Christmas songs, but it was my job to continue the ill-conceived tradition introduced by my parents when they found out I had some musical ability. I'm sure I didn't do the songs any justice with my loathing for them. Alice would want to show Bella to every single person in the place, and then put her back to work on coat duty when she didn't socialize with anyone. Not if I had anything to say about it.
The spare bedroom which we had just departed was downstairs. My destination was upstairs. This meant that I would have to go across the living room where the party was thumping with sound and all the way up the staircase. We paused before we left the hallway to make our way through the living room. I looked to her then. Her eyes were bright with mischief and excitement. I could have kissed her then, but I would wait to do it properly.
"We have to be like ghosts. Alice has a sixth sense during these things, so we have to move quickly and quietly." She giggled at my instructions. I smiled down at her. "Are you ready?"
She gave me another nod and then I started leading us through the crowd. I held her as close as I dared. At one point I let go of her hand to put it on her lower back to help guide her to keep pace with me. There was no way I was risking someone grabbing her hand as she trailed my lead. We made it all the way across the living room before we spotted Alice and heard her voice calling out for us. She hadn't seen us yet.
"Holy God, she's about to sniff us out." I exclaimed and Bella practically squealed from the idea of getting caught or the fun hiding. "Go, go, go!!!" I urged her to run up the stairs, picking her up whenever her feet would falter on a step.
I held onto her hand then and we ran into my old bedroom before shutting the door closed behind us. We were both gasping for breath against the door and laughing when we could manage it. The room was dark but the mixture of moonlight and the Christmas lights hanging outside the window made a dim ethereal glow invade the space. My old bedroom had a few remnants of my childhood, but now served as a guest room. I was glad Bella was seeing it now instead of when I occupied the space. Messy is not the word to describe it.
We heard some footsteps and suddenly Bella was right in front of me as I leaned against the door. She reached behind me to lock the door grazing my side. I felt my heart leap as she moved her face next to mine to jiggle the knob to make sure it was locked. She giggled as quietly as she could.
"Maybe we can deter her with a locked door." Bella looked up to me as she whispered. She realized how close we were. Her hand was still on the door knob. I could feel her forearm pressing further into my side. I swallowed rather loudly in the now very quiet room.
She hadn't looked down yet. She studied me instead as if she was trying to memorize me. Her gaze went up to my unruly hair then to my eyes. Having her full attention on me was exhilarating. At the same time I feared if she got any closer she would feel how okay I was with her proximity. Yeah, I was a little too okay with it.
"You have really pretty eyes. I'm not really sure why I never told you before. I guess it would be a strange conversation starter." She softly smiled as she complimented me. I kept silent. I could feel her becoming shy once again.
I knew I was going to have say or do something to take advantage of this intimate moment. I had to tell her tonight or I was going to drive myself crazy with her always around but so far away from me. I licked my lips in anticipation. She left my eyes and traveled to my mouth. I watched in rapt attention as her pink tongue barely met her own lips. I hoped she was imagining me kissing her. I prayed she was.
Then suddenly as if to shroud her in even more mystery she leaned forward. Was Bella going to try and kiss me? I couldn't believe that she would be so bold. She had never been this close to me and I had never imagined the possibility that she would kiss me for the first time. Her timidity seemed to fly out the window the closer she got to me, and some horny bastard inside of me was cheering rather loudly about all the advantages her newly discovered confidence could bring us. Some of them I would be self-conscious to admit to.
I had not expected this at all, but I had learned to expect the unexpected with Bella. Her kissing me was by far not a bad thing. At the same time this reversed position made me feel out of control. I knew if I let her kiss me and fulfill this unforeseen desire of mine for her to be in control then I would lose any grip on the overly aroused bastard still screaming in my mind. God knows how far I would push this and how my behavior could possibly make this situation turn acidic within seconds. The last thing I wanted was for Bella to think bad of me. As much as I wanted to kiss Bella no matter what, I was determined I would be the one to do it first. When she was almost to point of no return I found my voice.
"Wait." I whispered. She paused instantly. She looked hurt and then started to move away.
"I'm sorry." She muttered lowly probably thinking I was rejecting her. Yeah, far from it my love. Before she got far I put both of my hands on the sides of her face.
"That didn't mean I don't want to, Bella." My hands were on fire with her warm skin under them. My thumb ran over her lips and reveled at how smooth and soft they were.
I turned us around so that Bella was the one against the door. I became high just touching her and soon my left hand was nestled in her dark hair and the right one slid down her neck. I looked deep into her eyes asking for permission and giving her time to reject me. She didn't. She actually looked like she wanted me to kiss her as much as I did. I was astonished and felt victorious.
Hark Herald the angels do fucking sing. Glory to God because I feel like a king! I revised in my mind one of the many Christmas carols I had been forced to endure over the years.
"I've waited for you for so long." I admitted before putting my lips on hers. The electricity that ran through me could have powered the Christmas tree downstairs. The intoxication I felt could have made everyone of the guests drunk. And the happiness I felt probably could have supplied peace and goodwill to man for a fucking lifetime.
"Edward!" She practically moaned against my lips. She wasn't really helping me control the urge to pounce her right then, but then again she wasn't exactly fighting it. I felt her hands become greedy as they tugged on my hair and then slid down my back. Her fingers pressed into me as if begging for me to get closer to her.
I crushed her small frame against mine. It was my turn to moan when she accidently brushed my hard on. After that it seemed like every time our lips molded together she made it a sport to have some kind of contact with me in that region. It was like she'd joined horny bastard's team and now they were waving team spirit flags and cheering together.
It wasn't until a champagne bottle downstairs popped open startling us that we realized we were in fact at a party with almost a hundred people. We froze in our positions. Bella was against the door with my thigh in between her legs, warmth radiating from her there like the sun. Her hands were fisting in my shirt as if she had contemplated ripping it off. My hands were on her lower back trying in vain to bring her closer. She smiled when she saw I didn't back away or let her go. We stood there looking at each other realizing we had changed everything between us.
"You okay?" Still I was worried that I had somehow over stepped and slipped into a giant pit of disappointment when I sure she would reject me. My voice stayed low still concerned we would be interrupted.
"I'm perfect." She answered serenely. She had never looked more beautiful than in that moment. Her lips were swollen red from my attack on them. Her skin blushed a wonderful rose color that I could still see in the darkened room.
"Yes, you are." I caressed her face completely willing to worship her for the rest of my life. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do that?"
"Really?" Her brow furrowed as if she was terribly surprised of the idea of my strong attraction to her. Of course she would be. She never did picture herself clearly.
"Yes. I've wanted to kiss you since the first time I met you." I smiled brightly happy to finally reveal my secret.
"But I was so sure you hated me that day." She answered back even more confused.
I could easily bring the memory up. I had kept it close to me whenever I wanted to laugh or think about how she had completely changed who I was and what I wanted. Alice had invited to me a book discussion at Barnes & Noble by her apartment this past summer. She had said her new very best friend Bella would be there. I had laughed at Alice over the phone saying that everyone was her very best friend. She didn't laugh with me and silence on the line told me I had offended her.
"She's different, Edward. You'll see when you meet her. You won't think my choice of friends as questionable anymore. I've found the perfect match."
I went to the bookstore ready to sit bored to death by discussing my sister and friend's choice of novels. I would have a couple of lattes and bail. I had better things to do. When I walked through the front door I started to survey where Alice was sitting. Suddenly I was hit in the side by someone. The force was so strong as if someone had not seen me in their path at all. I looked to my side to see a woman heaped on the floor looking up at me.
"Oh my God! Are you okay?" I asked helping her up as fast as I could. The scent of hair was the first thing to draw me in. It smelled of flowers and pure sweetness. It wasn't like most women's whose scent could be overwhelming or manufactured. No, it was the perfect balance femininity.
Her long hair obscured her face. She brushed over her behind, and straightened her clothes. She finally moved her mahogany locks from her face revealing what would be the image of my desire from now on. Her lips were plump and shaped like small heart. Brown eyes looked back to me with so much depth I stopped breathing. I wanted immediately to know who she was and how I could win her. I had never been a man who fell in love at first sight. In fact I hadn't really been in love until I met Bella.
"I'm sorry I knocked into you." I tried to concentrate on the fact she was talking to me. She stammered her apology running her hands through her locks distracting me.
"Oh. It's no problem." I breathed for moment becoming aware that I hadn't brought air into my lungs for some time. "Are you okay?" I asked again concerned over how hard she hit the tile floor.
"Oh yeah." She smiled sheepishly. "I'm notorious for running into people." She held up a book. "It's my fault. I was kinda asking for disaster reading and walking at the same time."
Then we just smiled at each other. This occurrence happened numerous times after our first meeting. It was as if I was paralyzed with fear that whatever I said next would scare her off. Maybe being laconic and looking pretty was better than removing the mystery of how much of a douche I really am.
She looked down shuffling her feet and instantly I missed her warm gaze. That was the first time I fantasized about Bella. In the matter of three seconds I had imagined her in my arms under me, above me straddling me, and finally the best image of pinning her against the wall. It was like flash of pure unadulterated lust. I was so bewildered over her effect on me.
Then my anger flared. I wasn't even free to do any of those things I was dreaming of. I was still dating Tanya. Things were on the rocks but it wasn't like I was going to jump ship just because a pair of the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen stared back at me. But still I felt like I didn't have choice, and instantly I was scared of Bella. She held power over me so quickly and I could just think of all the possibilities of that relationship. I didn't know if I was ready to be thrown headlong into something I would surely drown in.
When I focused back on her I saw that she had a puzzled and wounded expression on her face. I realized I must have been scowling at her. I didn't want to point my irritation over my impossible situation towards Bella, but she had just flipped everything upside down. Why was I so attracted instantaneously towards a complete stranger?
"Well…have a nice day." I mumbled as politely as I could. She gave a smile and little wave. Even then I found her endearing despite my annoyance.
I hadn't gotten her name and I hadn't given mine. It must have been the rudest conversation I had ever had. I couldn't believe how much of jerk I felt, but somehow I thought I was doing something right. I wasn't a man to cheat, and I was at the time still in a relationship with Tanya. Getting closer to Bella seemed to spell doom for any relationship I was in.
I walked straight into the coffee shop attached to the bookstore and ordered the most caffeine powered drink they had. Apparently you can order up to six shots of espresso in your latte. Why did I need so much coffee? I wanted something other than this odd sexual adrenaline pumping through my veins. Caffeine I hoped would settle it or at least overtake it or hell make me impotent so I never had that situation repeat itself. Wait, scratch the last one. I would never ever want that.
I paced back and forth in the café going over the miniscule conversation and warring with my desire to go find the girl apologizing over what a prick I was. I wasn't sure what the hell I was doing, but I felt completely out of sorts. I was just grateful at the moment that I would probably not see her ever again. My world would be a lot less complicated that way.
I let the coffee have a good twenty minutes to get a head start before I tried to find Alice's little group. I texted her asking her location when I was finally ready. She informed me rather rudely that they were in the fiction section in the discussion area there.
"What the fuck ever, Alice. I don't even know why I'm here anymore." I muttered incensed with my sister and my day so far.
I walked up to the discussion area and waved to sister when she saw me. At this point she was lucky she didn't get the single digit greeting. The group had pulled all the couches and seats in a circle. There was one seat left on the couch in front me. Whoever was sitting there had her hood up leaning over a book. I rolled my eyes thinking I was probably going to sit by some emo fashion victim Alice had befriended to experiment on. I quickly took the seat beside probable weirdo. I crossed my arms looking a lot like a petulant child I suppose.
Then I heard a gasp coming from the hooded figure beside me. I was a little nervous at looking to see what the problem was, but finally relented when curiosity burned my ears. I turned and she tried to hide her face with the hood. It was her. The girl I had run into. The girl with sweet smelling hair and the face of an angel. The girl I had already had four sexual fantasies about, but couldn't do a damn thing about it.
"Great." I said under my breath. Sure there was a part of me that didn't really want to continue this strange sensation in me that would just not go away, but then there was a big part of me that rejoiced that I possibly had another chance to talk to her.
She pulled her hood back then with a huff and crossed her arms as well. I guess she heard me. Maybe then she wouldn't like me because of the jerk attitude I was displaying like the pro I was. The whole time this was going on my sister was talking about whatever novel they were discussing. I once again questioned why I had even come.
"Well, hello Edward. Nice of you to join us." Alice turned to me more snarky than usual.
"Nice to see you too, sis." I replied sarcastically.
"Guys, this is Edward my twin brother. He's a musician." She introduced me with a tone less acerbic than before.
"What do you play? Guitar? Drums?" Someone asked. I looked over to see it was Jasper Whitlock, my sister's boyfriend of a few weeks.
We had only met maybe two or three times at that point. At each meeting he had his tongue down my sister's throat the whole time, so he hadn't had time to ask me any personal questions before and apparently he and Alice didn't do much talking either. Yeah, I had an idea that what little talking was done was most likely dirty. I wasn't exactly warming up to him yet.
"Drums?!" Alice laughed her annoying trilling laugh. "Yeah, no. Don't ask Edward to play drums. He had this idea that he could probably play any instrument since he's such a musical genius, but totally failed at percussion. Edward doesn't do well with the punk scene anyway." I eyed my sister thinking of ways to hang her from the nearest hanging light. Her pink skirt would make a fun lampshade.
"I play piano and some guitar." I moved my eye as stealthy as I could to the girl next to me to see if she was impressed by that at all. Then I scolded myself for wanting her to be.
"Well, Edward it's just you and Jasper representing the male perspective today." Alice said as if she was genuinely disappointed. I guess I was too.
More guys to talk to would have helped me concentrate on the discussion and not the girl. But the only guy I was left with was making moon eyes at my sister and probably planning on screwing her in back of the store. Jasper worked at Barnes and Noble's, and my sister had already horrifically detailed this happening already. No wonder she had become so obsessed with going to Barnes and Noble's almost every day. I watched as Jasper's hand started to trail up my sister's leg and I had to bit my tongue from screaming at him to get hell off my sister.
Alice then introduced everyone in the circle. There was about eight of us. Finally she gave a name to the girl who still looked like I slapped her across her face instead of giving her the cold shoulder. I felt bad even if my behavior persisted.
"And this is Bella, my best friend I've been telling you about." My mouth dropped open. I should have put it together. Alice had said she was a pretty brunette. Pretty was not the word I would use. More like out of this world gorgeous.
You would have thought I could have put together that she would be Bella when Alice had introduced everyone and hadn't said her friend's name. I was so scrambled though I didn't even put common sense into play. I risked a look at her again and she had her hand propped up on the couch arm. She bit her lip and narrowed her eyes at a target in front of her trying to avoid looking at me. I felt like the worst dickhead to walk the earth that day.
However, tonight I felt like performing an elaborate Fred Astaire dance as I looked at Bella. I was so overjoyed that despite the way I treated her the first time we met that we were finally getting our chance. Finally, I had kissed her and she looked like she wanted a lot more. I had broken up with Tanya two months after meeting Bella. I hadn't dated or even thought about dating anyone else but her since then.
"No, I definitely did not hate you. I was upset that I wanted to ask you out instantly, but I was still with Tanya." I felt her bristle under my hands. "What is it?"
She once again took a moment to gather and, I'm sure, edit her thoughts. I wanted to ask her not to, but I would wait until she had said whatever bothered her. I became alarmed when I watched her eyes fill with emotion.
"Edward." She whispered before it seemed like she lost her voice. She swallowed deeply and then continued. "I've wanted you from the first day I met you as well. I was initially upset when you acted the way you did."
"My being an asshole you mean." I interjected. I was rewarded with a giggle and smile gracing her face. I still saw her eyes shining with tears though.
"Yes. But then when you didn't act like, well, an asshole the second or third time we saw each other something inside of me shifted. It was more than attraction." She looked down losing the courage to keep looking in my eyes. "But you were with Tanya, and even after you broke up with her you didn't ask me out. I was afraid to ever ask if you were dating because I wouldn't have been able to stand it."
I lifted her chin up. I hoped to God that my expression held the awe and relief that I felt in that moment. The fact that Bella was admitting to possibly feeling as strongly as I did was unfathomable if not fulfilling almost every dream I had in the past six months. Her wide tear filled eyes stared back at me as if she was scared she had confessed to what might have been an unrequited adoration. I think not.
"I'm in love with you, Bella. I can't imagine being with anybody but you. You've ruined me." I declared proud and happy to finally be able to say it aloud.
Before I could fully comprehend what was going on Bella threw herself at me kissing me with complete abandon. I don't think it took me long to keep up since my body had already developed a sense unknown to me of responding to her instantaneously. I held onto her tightly and we found ourselves much in the same position previously except this time with renewed vigor and assured love. If I wasn't so turned out I might have wept like a baby with thankfulness over the beauty of the moment. But instead I kept my focus on trying to round first base like the real gentleman I was.
I felt a shock against my spine and become conscious of the fact that the feeling came from Bella's hands. Her small fingers splayed out on my back where she had reached under the hem of my shirt seeking my skin. When I felt her fingernails start making small nonsensical patterns on my back I reached for her sweater and with her help released her from the offending garment. Her dress was sleeveless and I had the privilege of running my hands up and down her silky smooth arms. I felt her shiver under my touch as she closed her eyes and gasped. I then ran my hands up and down her sides kissing her when I wasn't busy with that. I studied her curves with my hands thankful I was this close but desperately wanting to feel her under her clothes.
A part of me wanted to go slow. Wanted to work up to these stages in a physical relationship but it was as if the power that she held over me pushed for more and more. She gave it all to me and then still encouraged more. When I brushed my hand across her breast I felt her nipple harden and it so irresistible that I had to brush over it again. Her mouth moved against my lips hungrily. Our kisses weren't perfect but sometimes so urgent and needy I could feel her teeth nipping at me. It only made me want her more.
Bella unbuttoned my shirt a voice other than the horny bastard urging her on began screaming. It begged me to make sure that this was okay. To make sure she didn't feel pressured into anything and that she wouldn't regret anything we did tonight later. But the sensation of her warm hands on bare chest caught my breath and all thinking flew out the window. She peppered my chest with kisses as her hands wrapped around me in such a tender embrace.
"Wait." I was finally able to get out with much difficulty. She pulled away and looked up to me. Her eyes were wild and I could clearly see lust in them. It nearly buckled my knees, but somehow I was held up in wonder over what I also saw there. I saw love. I fucking saw love. Best Christmas ever.
"I don't want to stop." I confessed as if this fact would surely be reprehensible to her.
"I don't either." She shocked me again. How did I manage to get myself into this perfect situation? How did I manage to deserve from Bella attention, attraction, or adoration at all?
"I need to know that this means something. That you won't regret it." I swallowed down any other words that would probably pressure her. "I mean I wasn't exactly planning our first everything to be at a party. I wanted to give you more."
I wanted her to be mine in every way, but I didn't know if she felt as strongly. The last thing I wanted to do was to be the guy that made her feel like she had to put out right away. At the same time, I didn't really look forward to rejoining the party with a throbbing erection either.
She didn't say a word. On her face the Christmas lights just outside the window illuminated her features with such grace. She was beyond beautiful. Her lips lifted in a smile. It felt like a secret smile just between us. I felt her slowly push my shirt over my shoulders. Goosebumps rose up on my skin at her fingertips lightly trailed over it. I closed my eyes feeling overwhelmed by the sensation and by the look on her face that informed me confidently she wanted the same thing I did.
"Touch me, Edward." I felt the breath of her whisper on my throat. I controlled how eager I was to obey her command and how I wanted to say, 'Yes, ma'am!'
I lifted her soft hair off her shoulders and touched the back of her neck. I felt her shiver as I started running my hands down her back taking the zipper of her dress with me. When I reached the bottom of the zipper path Bella started moving trying to get out of the dress.
"I want to do that." I gave her a sly smile and she stopped in her tracks. I peeled the dress back of her shoulders, and helped her step out of it. She was wearing a black underwear and bra set.
'I do believe in Santa. I do believe in Santa.' I chanted in my mind. She kicked her shoes off and then started to unbutton my pants.
"Thanks, but I'm still focused on you honey." I held her hands and put them at her sides.
"You're very visual aren't you?" She teased me even though I could tell she was feeling self conscious.
"Only when I have the finest work of art blessed on me by God." I kissed her. I licked her lips and she opened her mouth to me once again. I loved how she tasted. I thought I was hypnotized by her smell, but I was shell-shocked by her taste.
I reached behind her not willing to mess around with the bra anymore. I was ready to unwrap my damn present already. I wish I could say that after all these years I would have the always desired talent of knowing how to unsnap a bra, but unfortunately I couldn't. I struggled for a moment before I finally managed it. When I looked at her face she seemed like she was about ready to laugh.
"What?" I asked.
"You were just concentrating really hard on that." She chuckled a little. She grabbed my face and kissed me quick. I pulled down the straps of her bra over her arms.
I've seen four women naked and up close and personal in my life. Of course I've seen porn or naked pictures of women too. So even though I wasn't as experienced as some of my friends, I could say that I had enough education to my name to say emphatically that Bella Swan was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Her clothes on, she was perfect. Her clothes off...she was exquisite.
I honestly don't know the women's size for breasts but I knew that Bella's fit my hands perfectly. Her creamy white skin offset her rosy peaks. All of her skin was so soft and unblemished, but as a traced the shape of each breast I found her skin even softer there. This secret place of her's might have been seen by others in the past but right now they were mine to take pleasure from and hopefully give pleasure to her.
She tried to smother her moans when I got on my knees worshipping her by kissing her nipples before taking each one into my mouth. I wished I could tell her not to try and quiet herself but we were at a party. And I did not want to be interrupted from this dream. I felt her hands in my hair running her fingers through it. When I looked up under my eye lashes I saw her eyes were closed and her mouth hung open trying to make sound even when it was forbidden. She seemed like she was so free and uninhibited.
I kissed up her neck and sucked generously on her skin there hoping that I had left a mark. I let her pop the button on my slacks and pull them off my legs. We laughed when we realized I still had my shoes on. She backed me up to sit on the bed. She kneeled before me and unlaced my shoes pulled them off with my socks before letting my pants pool to the floor. She stood and without hesitation or warning she straddled my lap. Like a magnet again she set herself against my hard on. The only thing that separated us was her panties and my boxers. I could feel the wetness and warmth of her through these flimsy layers.
Bella kissed my neck and she also sucked as I had. I prayed she left a mark. My hands unable to keep themselves touched all the places I could reach. I went up her thighs to her bottom. I picked her up slightly and rubbed her against me. I groaned at the friction. It felt so damn good. I don't know how she kept her sounds in. I was going to have to work harder at it.
We kissed as if we were testing each other's passion and adoration for each other. Each time I thought I had beat her she rapidly matched every feeling and urge back. I'd never been so in sync with another person in my whole life. If hadn't already been so in love with her this might have scared me, but I had been dreaming of such a miracle. I recognized how much I desired to belong wholly to her.
I held onto her and placed her on the bed. I needed to feel her soft body under me. She wrapped her legs around my waist bringing me closer to her warmth. I sucked in a breath when I came into contact with her again. I oddly felt like I was virgin all over again feeling these awesome brand new sensations. God, I sure hope I didn't act like a virgin. The last thing I wanted was for this to be a short awkward experience. That would only remind me of my disastrous first time.
I tried to hold some of my weight off of Bella, but she wasn't having it. She kept pulling me closer and would make these annoyed sounds if I pulled back. I pressed her into the bed. Her breasts were sandwiched in between us. I realized that we were both sweating already. We stared for a minute. I'm not sure what she was thinking, but I kept wondering if this was the part where I woke up. Her hands gripped my back and she slowly dragged them down to the waistband of my boxers.
I closed my eyes as I felt her slowly move them off my hips. With my eyes closed there was at first darkness, but then Bella's face shone brightly in my mind. In a flash of mere seconds I went through memory after memory of her. I included the many fantasies I had of her as well. She continued to gingerly remove my boxers. I was sad that somehow in her care she had managed not to brush against my dick at all. It was like she had done that purposefully. Before I could fully comprehend the absolute removal of my last piece of clothing her small warm hand was wrapped around me.
I made a sound that somewhere caught between a grunt and a groan. My forehead fell to her neck and I tried to quiet my sounds and breathing as she started to stroke up and down.
"Oh God." I groaned as quietly as I could.
I wasn't thinking as a gentleman anymore, and probably couldn't tell what that was in that moment. My hand moved to its own accord into Bella's panties and found the secret spot I'd been dreaming of for months. My fingers dipped into her wetness and I panted as I felt how warm and tight she was. I circled her clitoris slowly hoping I could elicit her response. She didn't disappoint.
"Oh Edward." Bella breathed and grasped my dick tighter.
I pulled her panties off and settled in between her legs. I couldn't ask her if she still wanted this. There was something that possessed me. I would be inside of her and I would make her feel how much I loved her.
She guided me to her and slowly I pushed inside. I let out a breath slowly feeling like I was entering the Promised Land. I wanted to tell her how she felt liked silk and fire. I wanted to tell her that I felt like a king that she was this wet for me. I wanted to write songs and sing them to her all night long about how her body was my new temple. I didn't do any of these things though.
"God, I fucking love you Bella." I said instead. She moaned as I pushed forward starting a rhythm for us.
"I love you too, Edward." I kissed her as her hips moved with me.
Our skin sliding against each other and our breath washing over each other's skin lulled me into the most pleasured feeling I'd ever had in my life. I throbbed inside her wanting to climax already but I tried to concentrate on lasting long enough to feel her cum. I couldn't grasp how much time we had been making love because it felt like I'd been doing it all my life, but then not enough. It felt so natural. So right. Everything stopped and melted for her.
Her breathing was erratic and I could feel her pulse go wild from inside her. I felt every muscle clench, every moan. Every sensation was intensified and I was sure that I was not going be enough for her.
"Harder. Faster, please." She was trying to keep quiet still while she begged. She put her arms around my neck and gripped her thighs tighter to me as I pushed as hard and as fast as I dared. She closed her eyes as if trying to concentrate on her own pleasure.
The tension inside me rose to heights I didn't know I could reach and she cried out before I felt her fall apart. Her orgasm catapulted me into my own. I hoped to God I wasn't making any noise when my mind completely blanked out. I came back down from my high still slowly moving with her. She opened her eyes and smiled at me. I chuckled gently. I moved her hair away from her face and kissed her.
"Merry Christmas, Edward." She said playfully running her hands through my hair again.
"Yes, it's a very Merry Christmas." I laughed with her.
I knew we would have to go down to the party soon. I knew we would have to figure out everything between us. But right now I focused on the fact that I was holding Bella in my arms. That's all the really mattered anyway.