First of all guys, this is an experiment that took me less than 3 hours to write. With good reviews, I may just start to work on this one. Don't worry about my other fics. They haven't been abandoned. Be warned though. School time may affect my uploads. With that said, enjoy the fanfic.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Goblin Slayer. The rights belong to their owners.

Flash Git

Chapter 1: Not Your Everyday Goblin

Dirt road

The skies were dark as it is nighttime at this very hour. The vast field of grass was silent save for the wind blowing and the grass rustling with the occasional cricket making noise. You know what else is making noise? The sounds of a caravan of six wagons being attacked by a horde of nasty goblins.

Goblins are short, green and smelly creatures that only live for three things: killing, pillaging and raping. Yes, the sexual appetites of these beasts are enormous as they are a mono-gendered race and can only reproduce by breeding with other intelligent species.

You would think that because they are none too strong nor too bright, having the strength and intellect of a child respectively, they would be easy prey. But many a rookie adventurer have fallen for their deceptive nature and end up getting killed or, for the case of female adventurers, being taken away and used to sire offspring against their will. Indeed, many women dread being captured by goblins and used as breeding stock for their children. It did not help that they loved to torture their victims while they were alive.

In this particular caravan, the bodies of the dead are strewn about, all fresh since this was a recent attack. The sounds of stabbing, shrieking, clubbing and many more sounds of violence permeate the air as the goblins run around pillaging. Even worse were the sounds of women being taken and violated on the dirt road where the caravan was passing, their faces contorted in horror as they are helpless to stop their defilement.

Eventually, the sounds die down as the victims start to die one by one at the hands of the goblins or are taken away back into their lair. Soon, the violence dies down and the goblins focus on stealing all of the valuables in the wagons.

In one of the wagons is a barrel, a wine barrel to be exact. Usually, such barrels would be filled with alcoholic content for trade and consumption by the masses but this one was empty, empty of wine at least. Inside, we see a girl, 15 years of age. She is huddled inside the barrel, sobbing and praying to the gods that the goblins do not find her.

It was supposed to be a celebration of her birthday. They would all go to a neighboring village with her relatives to celebrate her entry into adulthood. However, her relatives are dead, her uncle hacked to pieces and her aunt taken. Perhaps her immediate family in that neighboring village would have to live with the fact that their one and only daughter was taken by goblins on her birthday, forever to be used like a toy for the disgusting creatures.

"Mommy, daddy, I'm sorry." she muttered. Suddenly she felt movement from the outside. Then, she heard the sounds, they were intelligible, but she knew who those sounds belonged to.

STAB!

A knife protrudes inside the barrel, missing her face by a few inches! She pulls back, terrified at the prospect of having her face cut. The barrel shifts and she is thrown lying on the side of the inside of the barrel. "They're picking me up!" she thought. Then, the barrel was thrown high into the air and lands on the dirt road, shattering it and exposing the poor girl inside.

The girl grabs her sides in pain as she hears the excited squeals of the goblins at the prospect of having a new toy to play with. She sits up, shaken and panicking at being discovered. She looks up from the ground and all she could see is a mass of goblins staring at her intently, about 20 of them with a hobgoblin to boot. It must have been the hobgoblin who picked up the barrel and threw it on the dirt road. The goblins lick their lips in anticipation at the sight of the scared girl before them, their loins hungering for the flesh of a female. The girl grimaces, her eyes wide open, almost straining as the goblins creep ever closer towards her vulnerable form knowing their true intentions.

One particular goblin, the one closest to her, jumps high and lunges at her with a knife in one hand and claws with the other, ready to shred her clothes and reduce her to being their plaything. The girl shrieks and closes her eyes, shielding her face with her arms from the coming onslaught.

BANG!

Her body jumped at the loud sound coming from somewhere. After a few seconds of nothingness, she smells blood, but she could tell that it was not hers for she doesn't feel the piercing pain from the goblin attack. She slowly lowers her arms and opens her eyes. In front of her lies the goblin, or rather, two halves of the goblin who tried to take her for itself. It's body torn in half from some sort of otherworldly force. She took a look around her and saw that the goblins were not looking at her but rather, behind her.

She turns to look at what they are looking at. In the distance is a silhouette of a creature, what kind she could not tell for it was too dark. All she could tell was that it stood on two legs and was rather short, but definitely taller than the goblins around her. Lastly, the silhouette was moving closer to them. One of the goblins cried in an angry manner and let loose an arrow at the silhouette, only for it to grab the arrow with its right hand and snap it in half, the broken halves falling onto the dirt.

The goblins, irritated at being disturbed from their fun, let loose a loud shriek of anger before charging at the lone figure before them, aiming to kill it and hack it to pieces just like they did with the men for ruining their "playtime." Two goblins got particularly close against the target and launched themselves into the air with their short legs, intending to dogpile the unwanted assailant. The lone figure merely grabbed the two goblins by their necks and, bringing its arms together, smashed their heads into a fine mixture of mush and paste before dropping the corpses to the floor.

Another goblin leaped towards the unknown only to lose its head against it's blade. By now, the rest of the goblins were so close that they could easily overpower the lone figure by simply dogpiling it, which they did.

Throughout all this, the girl from before could only look on at her possible savior with hope, only for that hope to be shattered as the goblins pile upon her would-be savior. It seemed as though she was fated to be held captive by the goblins after all. All of a sudden, the goblins were thrown back with massive force backwards from the direction that they came, she even had to duck as one or two flew right past her. Looking at the goblins, she could see that some of them were dead with deep slash marks in their bodies while the others got up and started crying and shrieking in fear.

Overall, the 20 goblins have been reduced to just 9 plus the still living hobgoblin in their midst. Said hobgoblin was just standing at the back to let the others take care of the intruder only for its companions to be beaten back. This, it decided, was the signal to finally join the fray and end the intruder once and for all. It snorted as it looked at the intruder with pure malice before sprinting towards the intruder, hoping to use brute force to crush the intruder once and for all.

To the shock of everyone present, the figure started sprinting fast, very fast towards the hobgoblin. The figure then leaped into the air before landing in the chest of the hobgoblin, sending it onto the ground. It then shoved something inside the hobgoblin's mouth before backflipping out of there. The hobgoblin, dazed, stood up before shaking its head and looking at the stranger with even more malice in its eyes. Before it could do anything though...

BOOM!

An explosion ripped through the air as the body of the hobgoblin disappeared in a large blast of light and blood and guts started to rain all around them. The girl in particular was startled at the sound of the large explosion as were the goblins. Speaking of said goblins, with their strongest dead, the remaining goblins full on panicked and decided to high tail it out of the area and back into their lair. With the threat gone, the girl sighed in relief before looking up from her sitting position towards her savior coming closer to her.

And then all hope was dashed when she got a good look at her supposed savior.

He, she deduced it was a he, was wearing some sort of helmet on his head with a spike on it. Said helmet had the image of a sneering skull with two single edged blades crossed behind the skull. He wore clothing consisting of a sleeveless shirt and long pants held by a belt and thick boots that were comically large for him. Said articles of clothing had pieces of armor plating to give him extra protection. He wore pouches of varying sizes all over his body with a large backpack full of items sticking out of it. In one hand, he held a big, single-edged blade. In the other, he held what looked liked two steel tubes connected to the but of a crossbow. However, what dashed her hope for a savior was the stranger's face.

Said stranger was short, about 4 feet tall and had a small yet stocky face with deep wrinkles above the eyes and a long pointy nose with a nose ring. He had long knife-like ears with three earrings each. In its mouth was a stick which looked like it was used for smoking and its hair is tied into a top knot ponytail. But the most striking feature was the stranger's skin.

It was green.

In other words, he, or it, was...

A GOBLIN!

Seeing the look of shock and despair written on the girl's face, the goblin gave her the biggest smug grin he could give before asking her one question in a weird accent she has never heard of before.

"Oi girlie! Mond tellin me waz goin on ere?!"

-Flashback-

Earlier that night

Shiny woke up from the nastiest hangover he has ever had in his life. Boy did the ale really took the wind from inside his stomach. Stretching himself up, he looked at his surroundings only to find darkness all around. It was no problem for Shiny for he is a goblin and they have good night vision. Taking into account his supplies, he then headed off to find the nearest civilization, hoping to catch some more ale before snoozing on a soft comfy bed. If he couldn't, he'll just find a nice spot to camp out.

Seeing a dirt road, he smiled to himself before going down the path. All roads lead to settlements after all. While on the way, his ears started picking up noise, but he dismissed it, thinking that it must be the alcohol making the noise. As he went on though, the noise became clearer and clearer until it was clear that the sounds were those of violence. Quickening his pace towards the source of the noise, he came upon a scene that made him question his sobriety.

They were clearly goblins, but they were some of the nastiest and ugliest goblins that he has ever seen. They were really short too, being only a bit bigger than a toddler. Except for the big one at the rear of the horde. He could see that they were finished raiding a caravan, or so he thought until the big one grabbed a barrel and threw it on the ground. He was surprised to see a human girl appear from the remains of the barrel.

She was taller than him, about five feet and above. She wore a white blouse with suspenders attached to denim pants. She also had short brown hair extending to her neck. The other goblins were looking intently at the girl, desire plainly written on their faces. Seeing this, Shiny harrumphed and scrunched his face in disdain. He would teach these goblins some lessons on decency before interrogating the girl for answers.

Who knows, she might even have something on her that he might like.

-Flashback End-

The poor girl only stared at him like a statue at his question, her mind too numb to process what just happened. Meanwhile, Shiny gave a grunt of annoyance before lightly tapping her left cheek with his right hand.

"Oi! Answer me girlie!" he shouted.

In response, the girl finally regained her bearings before realizing that there was a goblin right in front of her. And with that said, she did what anyone would do when faced with a goblin.

"AAAAAAAHHHH! Get away! Get away!" she shrieked and shouted at him, kicking, pushing and crawling backward away from the goblin before her.

"Oi! Is dat da wey youz thank me after savin yur arse?!" Shiny said while shielding himself from the girl's onslaught. Sheesh, it was like this girl has never seen a goblin beyond those that attacked her. He guessed that the goblins he fought might have something to do with her perception of him.

Grabbing a discarded knife from a dead goblin, she pointed it at Shiny hoping to create distance between them. There was no way that she was going to allow herself to be raped by a goblin. Shiny, annoyed by the girl's antics, merely snatched the knife out of her hands and broke it in half with his hands, He was going to break it with his teeth as a show of force but it was covered in piss and shit. No way he was going to dirty his mouth with piss and shit.

That didn't stop her from making slapping motions in an attempt to push him back. Growing tired of her behavior to his presence, he grabbed both of her hands with his before pushing both of her index fingers with his. Not enough to break them, but enough to cause pain.

'Now listen ere you brat! If youz don calm yourself, Ima break your fingers wun by wun until deyz all broken. Is dat clear?!" he threatened.

The girl looked at him in fear before nodding her head, face scrunching at the pain he was giving to her. With her cooperation sealed, Shiny let her hands go as she nursed them with her mouth, trying to soothe the pain.

"Now girlie," he started. "Waz goin on ere? Who wer those ugly kin o mine? Wuts de deal wid your caravan?" he girl looked at him with slight fear on her face, trying to comprehend that a goblin was speaking to her before replying.

"W-w-we were g-g-going to an-nother village t-to c-c-celebrate when the g-goblins attacked. T-they killed all the men a-and t-took the women b-b-b-back to w-where they came." she stuttered as fear was still present in her. The goblin could only look at her with seriousness in his face. Oh well, nothing that could be done now. He stood up to leave before the poor girl shouted a question at him.

"W-wait! Where are you going?" she asked.

"Civilizasyun! Wer else?" Shiny replied

The girl only looked at him puzzled before asking another question.

"What a-about the w-women?" she asked.

Shiny spared her a glance before replying. "Wut about dem?"

Hearing this, she felt indignant at his uncaring attitude. How dare he say that to the poor women likely being sexually assaulted right now. Granted he is a goblin but he seemed reasonable compared to the rest of his brethren. Based on his earlier actions, perhaps he can do something about the horrible situation her people are in.

"They're being defiled as of now! Held captive by your kind! You fought them before, perhaps you can do something about it!" she shouted, her earlier stutter gone.

"Unless yur willin to pay me, den I say no thanks." he replied before turning back to his front.

"I HAVE GOLD!"

Shiny stopped in his tracks. "Gold you say?" he asked.

The girl walked towards one of the wagons and took a box containing gold coins. "Here! 100 pieces. It's all I have." Before she could do anything else, he swiped the gold and pocketed it in this bag.

He turned to her before saying, "Well den, lets get doze gurls back shall we."

And done. So what did you guys think? Leave a comment down below and remember: constructive criticisms, no flames please.

P.S. For characterization of my main OC, just think of British low-class accents.