I don't own anything from the land of Ooo or Aaa so there
Colors of green and blue and purple swirled around me as I fell, somersaulting in the air, unlike most people in this situation I didn't bother to scream, I knew no one could hear me and what was the point if no one could hear me. I gotta admit before I fell through this portal my life really wasn't that interesting I was a normal teenager, I cursed, I partied, I disobeyed the rules, I had a few tattoos and piercings, and I played to the whole rebel without a cause pretty well, my parents couldn't stand it when they were home...then again I couldn't stand them whether they were home or not. They were all uptight and full of rules and don't's and it drove me crazy, they needed to learn to live a little. My only respite seemed to be my music, Good Charlotte, All American Rejects, AC/DC, Guns N Roses, Green Day, you know the works, that and my baby a modified acoustic guitar it was made to look like a dragon, the neck stretched out to become the frets, the body and the wings were the body of the guitar, and the coolest thing was with the press of a hidden button the dragon's mouth would open and torch whoever or whatever I wanted, pretty sweet right? I was just lucky that I had been walking around with it on my back before all this happened.
Before I knew it I was crash landing on hard packed Earth and let me tell you that does NOT feel good especially when you land on a guitar made out of metal that's strapped to your back...can you say ouch?
"Ugh man this is so not my day." I groan to myself as I just lay there for a minute
As I lay there I take my guitar off my back and pull it out from under me to rest beside me and I sighed with some relief, the thing had been digging into my back and I'd be surprised if I didn't have some gashes from landing on it.
I opened my eyes and sat up looking around once the pain had dulled to an ache rather than a throb and I recognized nothing around me...great.
"Where the hell am I? It looks like a gay unicorn came in and puked all over everything and then decided that wasn't enough so he crapped out a couple rainbows and slathered them around too." I said not bothering to hide my disgust at how sweet and pink everything looked
"Well I never! How dare you describe the land of Aaa like that!" A very insulted voice cried out from behind me
I turned around and I shit you not there was a person head to toe covered in pink...and I think it was a dude!
"Dude did you seriously go out looking like that?" I chuckled pointing at him
"What? What's wrong with how I look? Oh is there something on my face? Oh the embarrassment!" He started freaking out touching his face
"Uh, no. Nothing's on your face you're just covered head to toe in pink. I mean what straight guy would ever go out looking the way you do? You aren't gay are you?" I asked honestly curious
"No I am not gay!" He said his face getting redder, if that was even possible
"Ok, ok dude chill it was just a question. I mean if I were you I would never leave the house." I placated him waving my hands around
"And why not?" He asked still sounding angry
"Dude...you're pink. Pink is gay. Enough said." I said deadpanned
This only seemed to piss him off and I swear steam was coming off his head. I ignored him and looked around some more, but I still didn't recognize anything.
"Hey you wouldn't by chance know where we are would you?" I asked looking back at him
"We're not far from the Candy Castle why? Are you lost?" The pink guy asked now looking concerned
"Candy Castle? Are you tripping out on drugs? Where the hell is that?" I asked crossing my arms and looking at him like he needs help
"It's in the Candy Kingdom of course." He replied as though I was the stupid one
"Listen you little punk, you don't take that tone of voice with me understand?" I said grabbing the front of his outfit and pulling him off his feet " Now you're going to tell me where I really am or I'm gonna...dude what the hell are you made of? Why the hell are you so squishy?" I asked kinda freaked out
"I'm made of bubblegum of course. Aren't you made of candy?" He asked looking at me strangely
"What the hell? No I'm human you idiot!" I yelled dropping him on his ass
He rubbed his neck where I had been holding him up and then seemed to realize what I had just told him.
"Wait a human? Are you sure?" He asked standing up and getting way up in my personal space
"Uh yeah dude. Been one all my life so I should kinda know. And will you back off!" I yelled freaked out and shoving him away
"But I thought Fionna was the last human in Aaa? Where did you come from?" He asked hand on his chin
"Heck if I know, a portal just randomly opened and dropped me here. No warning or nothing." I grumbled at the end crossing my arms
"Strange." Pink guy hummed
'No shit Sherlock.' I thought sarcastically
"Well I suppose the only thing left to do is to find you somewhere to stay until we can send you home. Come we'll leave at once." He said shrugging his shoulders
"And what makes you think I'm going anywhere with you Gumwad?" I asked him crossing my arms
"Well I am the Prince of this kingdom so it's only natural that you follow me." He emphasized pointing at himself
"Dude I don't care if you're the drag queen of the north pole I am not going anywhere with a giant pink gumwad who's so far in the closet he's in Narnia." I said with finality
Without saying another word to him I picked up my guitar, slug it across my back, and left walking to who knows where so long as it was away from all these candy coated freaks I didn't care.