Memories are not always what they seem. The clairity of what was once so easy to recollect steadily fades with the passage of time. Often leaving the mind with blurry images of faces and places we know nothing else of. That is how the mind of little Holly Potter worked when she tried so desperately to remember anything of life before the cupboard under the Dursely's staircase. Perhaps there were not any memories of before, she sometimes wondered, that is was a trick of her overactive childish imagination. Yet with nothing else to do by herself in the dark cupboard, she would close her bright green eyes and try to remember, remember anything other than this life.
Her birthday is now only a few weeks away. Turning five years old might be a big deal to some families, but not for the Durselys. Well, not for her specifically, as she was not a Dursely. This is a fact she is often reminded of. Her cousin Dudely's fifth birthday, not very long ago, was a moumentous event. It was complete with large party, a larger cake and an even larger set of gifts. It was the biggest celebration she had yet seen, though she wasn't allowed to be present at the party. However she could hear it, everyone was so happy for Dudely on his special day. Holly had the feeling that this would wasn't going to be the case for her.
None of her previous birthdays were, nor was Christmas or Easter or any other time. Those kind of joyous smilies and warm hugs, sweets and presents were not for her to have. After all she only recently learned that she was born at the end of July after timidly asking her Aunt Petunia on the morning of Dudley's party when her birthday will come.
"Not that it matters," Petunia added coldly after dismissively telling her niece.
Holly felt that it didn't really matter as she was set about cleaning the mess after the party later that same day. Tiny bits of wrapping paper as well as large sheets littered the room, a few toys Dudely had already managed to destroy strewn here and there. She wondered how a room could become so messy so quickly, having been sent to her cupboard early that morning so as not to be a nuisance for Dudley's guests.
"Hurry it up!" demanded her short tempered Uncle Vernon after thudding heavily down the stairs and entering the still partially trashed living room.
His tiny beady eyes watched over the girl critically as she tried to gather the rubbish faster from the carpeted floor. Everything about his adopted neice screamed abnormal to the man. She is small and appeared frail, so tiny compared to Dudely despite their age being so close. That red hair of hers, thick and somewhat tangled from neglected combing. Those green piercing eyes, which could give a glimmer of brightness even in the dark. And that awful scar on her forehead, his own beetle eyes would seldom cease to glance over it when he had to look her way. All this so different from the rest of the Durselys, the girl stood out as a blemish on an otherwise perfect family unit.
"Come on! Come on!" Vernon Dursely said impatiently upon hearing his wife and son coming down the same staircase.
"There isn't time Vernon we have to get going, the reservation is at six," said Petunia, her eyes darting to the clock on the far side of the room.
"I don't want her to come!" Dudely said angrily.
"Of course she isn't coming Dudders," his mother said, leaning down quickly to soothe him. "Nothing is going to ruin my perfect Dudley's perfect day."
This reassurance calmed down the chubby birthday boy enough for him to add only.
"Good, I don't want my friends to know she lives with us."
Petunia helped him slip on his new cardigan as they prepared to leave for a nice evening out at Dudley's favorite restaurant. The buttons on his new sweater did not quite reach the other side no matter how hard she tugged to make them meet. Deciding finally to leave it open as the fabric so clearly desired.
"Oh my growing boy!" Petunia said happily. "I'll get the next size up later, okay?"
Dudley nodded slightly, not caring at all about the sweater that is likely to get food stains on the front as happened to most of his wardrobe. She rose up and walked briskly over to the other child in the room. Who is still gathering up bits of paper in her tiny hands under her Uncle's stare.
"You are to have this room spotless by the time-"
"I don't want her roaming about when we aren't here," Vernon interrupted her, sounding firm as ever. "Something could happen and there will not be any more freak incidents!"
"Right," his wife agreed as usual with another glance at the clock.
Vernon hurriedly took a few steps forward to reach down and grab Holly at her elbow. His large fingers clamped like a vice onto her arm, pulling her along towards the cupboard. Holly winced at the pressure but didn't make a sound as the cupboard door was yanked open and she was pushed inside. The half door slammed behind her, leaving the space in near total darkness, only a thin strip of light at the bottom. The brass bolt on the other side clicked into place as always. Moments later the front door lock clicked, leaving her more completely in the state she always felt, alone.
Sleep eluded Holly as she tossed and turned on the thin mat that was once in Dudley's crib. A light colored baby blanket that served as perhaps her only possession curled tight around her as she wiggled about, unable to get comfortable. Tomorrow will be the last day of July so it would have to be her own birthday.
For weeks leading up to Dudley's birthday she would overhear her Aunt and Uncle ask Dudley what presents he would like for his special day. She had yet to hear them ask her anything of the sort. Holly was not sure what gifts she would even ask for. All the toys she knew of belonged to her cousin and she wasn't allowed to touch them. She did not have any friends, or even knew anyone else her age besides Dudley. So she knew there would not be anyone to have a party with. But maybe there would be a cake this time, something that she had never tasted before but everyone seemed to like to have on birthdays.
Her eyes opened, not noticing that much of a change in the pitch black. When she was a bit younger, she had a rather intense fear of the dark. Strong enough to make her tremble and cry to be let out when her Uncle would put her in there at night. This happened so much that he had to drill a lock onto the door to prevent her from quietly slipping out and falling asleep in the dim hallway. Vernon also removed the lightbulb from the socket inside the cupboard when he would constantly find it on during the night hours when coming down to the kitchen for a late snack.
Steadily her fear of the dark faded when she realized there wasn't anything to surprise and grab hold of her in the constant shadow. Such fear went instead to her Uncle. The dark of the cupboard became more comforting as long as he wasn't there.
Holly awoke the following morning to the sound of the cupboard lock clicking open. She quickly put on the oversized hand-me-down shirt and shorts that no longer fit her cousin. The summer heat made the cupboard much hotter than usual so she wouldn't try to sleep with so much extra clothing on. She walking into the kitchen as her Aunt Petunia began cooking breakfast. She is always the first to wake up in the household to let her out.
Her aunt paid her no attention while cooking various breakfast meats on the stove. Holly made her way to the small table and chair that sat in far corner of the room, near the back patio door. She wasn't allowed to have meals at the kitchen table, this is her area, facing the wall. Vernon stayed adamant that if the girl is to eat in the same room with his family, she would not be in the position to look at them.
Holly sat in silence, the only sounds to fill the kitchen came from the sizzling meat in the frying pan. Though she wasn't allowed to eat at the same table with the Dursleys, she also wasn't allowed to eat until they began to eat. Each morning she would wait a long time for her uncle and cousin to come down to the breakfast table. Only then would her aunt place food in front of her.
The food would usually be the same, a silce of bread torn in two and a cup of water. The water is normally not very cold as it came out of the kitchen faucet. Holly did not complain as this is always what she is given.
"Is today my biff-day?" Holly asked her aunt in her usual way of speaking.
Petunia nodded though she didn't look at the girl directly. Then turned away to go and sit at the table with her husband and son. Holly chewed her bread slowly to enjoy as much as she could before it was all eaten.
Vernon soon left for work and Dudley went into the living room to watch television. Her aunt then walked towards her, holding out a blue cloth. Holly looked surprised and somewhat confused when she looked at the object her aunt held.
"Is tha' my biff-day prwsent?" she asked, knowing Dudley likely didn't get one of these for his birthday.
"No," Petunia said stiffly. "This is a dusting cloth. You are to use this to clean the furtiture."
"Ohh," Holly tried not to sound disappointed when taking hold of the cloth.
Her aunt showed her how to properly dust before sending her off. She could only dust as high as she could reach, leaving the rest for Petunia to finish later. After a few hours there wasn't a spot left that she didn't wipe clean on the downstairs of the Dursley home.
Later on that afternoon her aunt informed her she would be starting primary school in a few weeks. Holly will be attending the same school as her cousin, who had already been there in the previous year. She felt a surge of excitement that she would get to leave the cramped environment that is her home. Which also meant she would learn to read, something the Dursley's had not bothered to teach her. Maybe even make a few friends as well, like Dudley had, she could only hope.