Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, that would be slavery.

Ever sense I had been a tiny tot I had loved books, they were my only friends, my comfort, my passtime, my obssesion. Life was good back then, when it was only me, my parents and my books. It had been perfect until I had went into primary school.

When I had first heard of primary school I had been so excited! And why should I have not been excited? I would be able to play with kids my age, I would be able to read whenever i wanted, the teachers would be happy when we read. It sounded like a dream come true. But when I actually started school I found it... lacking.

The children in my class weren't like me. Put simply, they were stupid, retarded, idiotic, and many other words along those lines. I didn't know what I had been expecting, but it certainly wasn't what I got.

I had foolishly tried to help the other children when they couldn't do somethig, I would correct them instinctivly when they spoke wrongly, I would hover over their shoulders and point out when they did something wrong. I would try to help them, but all I got in return was scorn.

I was titled the teachers pet, a bookworm and know-it-all. I hadn't known what do when they started to tease me, so I had went to the teachers. They tried to help, they really had but whenever they turned there backs away for a moment the bullying would start up again.

But then I found someone interesting.

But one day i had noticed a lonly boy sitting on the swing set, his clothing to big for him and his glasses held together by tape. He had drawn something I couldn't see on the ground, but before I could approach him he ha ran away, and all I had heard was jeers of the big oaf Dudley and his gang.

I had walked over to where he had once been and stared down at the picture he had made, and I had been confused. The sand it had been slightly messed up but i could clearly see what it was. In the sand was three stick figures, the bigger ones holding the smallests hand. I had guessed it to be him and his parents, and I had wondered why he had been so sad when he had drew it.

I was told later by the neighbors that the boy was Harry Potter, a useless brat who was forced into the Dursleys family, a delinquent destined to go to jail as a adult, a mentally unbalenced kid well on his way to ruining his life, a stupid little purse snacher and burden. But from what I had seen of him he hadn't been any of these things, he had just been a lonley little boy with no friends and no mommy and daddy, a child alone in the world.

But I would always remeber the day we had truly met, in the small library of that particular primary school. Where I met my first friend, my companion and partner in crime, and most of all my first love and childhood crush...

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It had been just another day for me, I had once again been hiding behind the bookshelfs with a history book hiding my face. I had been so absorbed in the pages I hadn't noticed the yells of the school terrorizers and my bullies.

Well I hadn't noticed a thing until a panting boy had hidden behind the bookshelf i myself was hiding behind, gripping the wooden shelf for dear life. His eyes had been wide and panicked and his breath had been fast. I had felt the concern bubbling up in my stomach despite the warnings of my new neighbors.

I placed the book I had been reading up until that point back onto the shelf making sure it was in its former place. I reached out to tap the six year olds shoulder hastily drawing it back when he spun on me his wild eyes flying about for any sign of danger. I would have laughed if it had been any other situation.

I barley held back a gasp when beautiful emerald eyes had connected with my own brown eyes, his eyes had drawled me in and didn't let me go. As soon as I had come out of the trance I had said the first words that had come to mind.

"A-are you okay?"

My voice had been a bit shaky but far stonger then I had felt, but the norrowed eyes had hurt more then I thought they would have and would ever admit. He had crossed bony arms over his small chest defensivly, taking a step away from me as if he was preparing to run away. Maybe he was prepared to run away, I would never know. But it was the disbelief in his dull eyes that truly stung.

"I'm fine, thanks."

His words were like daggers and his glare was sharper, and i had never felt so offended in my life. But I somehow knew that snapping at the boy would ensure I would ruin everything in some way, so I held back the biting retort that was on my tongue. But I still put my hands on my hips and stared at him with a raised eyebrow, unimpressed.

"You call that 'fine'?"

His face became icy at my sarcastic question but I saw how he drew his arms tighter around his torso, and I knew if I didn't fix my mistake there would be no chance of us ever meeting again.

"I fell, I'm clumsy like that."

He had sounded so sure in that answer, and if I had been a normal seven year old I wouldn't have noticed how it sounded dull like he had said it many times before. So I took a deep breath and exhaled through my nose clencing and unclenching my hands. I pushed my pride away extending my hand to the suprsied six year old.

"We got off to a bad start, I'm Hermione Granger. I'm new in town."

He hesitated for a moment staring down at my hand his hair falling over his eyes and hiding them from view, but after a moment he gingerly took my hands with his own small appendage. And I had to marvel at how he was so small and fragile, like a gentle breeze would turn him into dust.

"Harry... my names Harry Potter."

I beamed at him shaking his hand vigerously, a thousand-watt smile that i reserved for my parents lighting up my face like a Cristmas tree. I didn't think before I asked a question that made me feel like a idiot.

"So why are you here (in the library I mean), Harry?"

I almost died of embarresment at the eye-roll I got and the pointed look at the spot where the dud and his posse had once been had made me want to curl up in some dark hole and die. I hid behind the book I had been reading a while ago the paper pages hiding me from the no-doubt judgemental stare. They always judged, and they always left me. But when I peeked out from behind my sheild and saw the small smile he was wearing I allowed myself to smile back, the heat fading from my face.

"Chemistry? Where did you get that from?"

I glanced over the book cover before my eyes once again traveling back to the words that lined the pages.

"I-I just like to read..."

I hadn't meant to stutter, i really hadn't. But the fear of abandonment was so strong and I had expected the boy to sneer at me and run away like everyone else, but he didn't. He instead sat in the chair closest to me scooting it closer looking interested.

"Well I just happen to like chemistry!"

That was the day that a friendship that would change the future was made, a bond unbreakable by the tides of time, a companionship that would only shatter with death, we became partners that would ather die then sell the other out. And it all started with a simple chemistry book.

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The day Harry told me of magic had been a mind-blowing, rule-breakig, psyics defying, and just downright unbelievable day. But seeing it for myself had blown me away and destroyed everything i ever believed in and broke all the rules I followed. It had been two years after me and Harry became friends, and I still hadn't regreted my decision, and I don't think I ever would.

After a year of testing our abilites and finding out each others secrets we had grown closer then we had ever thought possible, so when Harry told me his birthday had been a week ago like he was talking about the weather and not the day of his birth I had been both concerned and pissed. I had decided I would get him the best gift he had ever gotten, and I had been firm in that belief.

So I had snuck into the attic and found my dead grandfathers (I never met the man) ring, I had taken a silver chain that had once been a necklace that belonged to my mother and slid the ring onto it. I had forced it onto Harry a couple days later insisting my grandfather didn't need it anymore. The last time I saw it was when he had slid it around his neck. But what I didn't know was that he never took it off.

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Being told I couldn't attend Hogwarts yet wasn't as bad as I had thought it would have been, I had been comforted by the thought that I would be able to attend with my best friend. But I had been really happy when I traveled into a new world with both my parents by my side, keeping me safe from the horrors that came with a unfamiliar place.

Flourish and Blots had been a dream come true, with the tall towers of books containing the history and magical background of a different species. It had truly been a informing and fun expiernce, in the end my parents had had too drag me out of the store after buying my required books along with five of my own.

Ollivander had been more creepy then I cared to admit, with his knowing gaze and unerving voice. But getting my wand had been the highlight of my day, feeling a warm rush of power and then seeing what I had caused was wonderful. I had gasped when a firework had came from the tip. The last thing I had saw when I had been leaving was the unerving smile of one old wand-maker.

When I had gotten home I had gone to see Harry as soon as I could, my books and wand hidden in my duffle. I had been really smug when I had seen the wonder in his eyes, for once I had been the one to blow him away.

That night was filled with the tales of my adventure in the magical world, a bright eyed Harry eagerly listening with apt attention. Something had sparked in my hurt heart, but I had dissmissed it as indigestion.

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I had been so very happy when I saw the old train hidden from a muggles view, side by side with my first friend. We had settled in a empty compartment near the back of the old machine.

Me and him had exchanged stores and things we learned from our books, and I had laughed my arse off when Harry had told me the reason he had brought a hat with him his face sour as he explained.

When a haughty boy with the whitest blonde hair I had ever seen had barged into our compartment without a announcment asking about Harry I had been both deeply offended and curious, but a feeling in my gut had told me to lie about Harry. And lie i did.

And I hadn't regreted lieing to the blonde-brats face when he had looked down his nose at us sniffing in distane as if we were lowly worms that he could squash if he wanted before he had stormed away his goons fallowing him. But I had been satisfied when I had seen the breif dissapointment flash through his eyes.

I had fought tooth and nail to be placed into gryffindor instead of ravenclaw, all the powerful people are gryffindor. But the hat had said I didn't belong there, that I belonged with the eagles, dressed in blue with the other bookworms. But I eventaully managed to get it to place me in the house of the red. I had sat next to the red-headed boy I had met on the train patiently waiting for my friend to be sorted into gryffindor as well so we could start eating.

I had become concerned and anxious when Harry reached the ten minute mark, and when the hat had called out slytherin to my and the entire schools shock I almost hit myself for my idiocy. How could I have been so stupid? Of course he wouldn't go to the house of the brave and kind, Harry had always been a sneaky, snarky brat to the core. A brat who couldn't share his feelings for the life of him.

I had floundered wallowing in my own misery, wondering why I hadn't just listened to the hat. I knew of the rivery that was between the two houses. But as I had stared at the sollum form of my friend I made a promise to myself, It didn't matter that he was in the house of the snakes. I would aways stick with him.

I heard the whispered insults and nasty rumours that were thrown at my best friend, I knew that my housemates cursed him in the halls and how the teachers didn't bat a eye. I watched as everyone else ignored him, and it made me fume in silent fury knowing I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it.

It wasn't like I didn't try, I pleaded my fellow lions to leave him be but they never listened, I told the teachers of his treatment but they didn't even glance my way, I tried to get the other houses to pay attention to Harry but they looked away. Soon my own house turned on me, becoming worse then the children of my last school.

Even though he didn't know it I saw how Harry would hide himself away from the world, how he spent most of his time in the imfirmary, how he was even more broken then ever before. And it made my heart ache knowing I couldn't do a single-fucking-thing.

I hated how they called him the dark lord to be and evil wizard in training, how they made him out to be a monster in disguese. It also hurt, knowing he was subjected to it and forced to hide himself away.

I knew I was the only one who stuck with him in our second year, I knew that the few people who pretended to care turned away from him, his sient begging fell upon deaf ears. And I couldn't even stick with him all the way, because the basilisk had gotten me as well.

When I had found the idiot Ron to be the one who was causing all the pain and humilation Harry was going through I had been furious beyond belief. I had noticed how Harry had been more closed-off, more quite and how he would stare at the wall for hours on end in his own kind of depression.

But as time passed I found myself attracted to the red-head and his funny jokes and happy grins, I felt my heart speed when I looked at him and all rational thought was lost when he would grin at me. As time wore on I spent more hours with him ad his group, sometimes helping with a prank or two. But I always stopped the ones they launched at Harry when I found them, but sadly I could never truly stop them from hurting my childhood friend.

But when Harry's grades took a turn for the worse I couldn't decline when he asked me to study with him and help him with his schoolwork, but I never kew of the pictures he would take when I wasn't looking or the photos he had collected over time. I never suspected a thing, which was quite gulible of me now that i think about it.

I had always seen Harry as mybest friend and Ididn't think I would have ever seen him as anything else, he was there to cheer me on when things got hard, he was my shoulder to cry on and my trusted confident. It was in forth year that my feelings for Ron Weasley began to grow, and the thought of maybe Harry looked at me the same way seemed impossible.

The times when Harry would open his mouth to say something had been odd to say the least, how he would flush and go back to his book not talking for several minutes. I always tried to get him to tell me what he wanted to, but I was never able too. I really should have tried harder, because maybe if I had things wouldn't have turned out the way they had.

I didn't know when I had started to date Ron that Harry would stare at me brokenly, the patchwork on his heart not being able to hold it together anymore. Without my notice Harry began to slowly wilt away, replaced by a insecure shell that wore his face but smiled a smile that unknowly broke my heart. No I didn't notice, because I was too wrapped up with my own happinnes. I know that was a mistake now.

Because I was too busy with my own worries and new friends and boyfriend I didn't notice how Umbridge treated Harry, I didn't see how he would hold his bleeding hand and how he would stich it back togther in the darkness of the toilet, i didn't see him become thinner and thinner and how he would miss meals for days on end or how dark bruises formed under his dull green eyes. And I was supposed to be a genius.

When I was told of the horcrux's i decided we had to go after them, so I packed my bags and told Ron and Harry to do the same. And soon we were off searching the British Isles for the shards of the dark lords soul.

But throughout the journy something had happened, something that had tore me apart and burned what was left of my heart.

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"Harry? Im sorry for what i said earlier,"

The tent was quite as I peeked my head inside, there was no sign of Harry anywhere and I felt puzzled, I could have sworn he had been inside here. I stepped inside the flaps falling shut behind me as I cast my eyes about for the familiar mop of black hair, but it was nowhere in sight.

"Harry, are you in here?"

There was no reply as I searched the tent, looking in every crack and crevis that he might be hidging in. But my searches came to a halt as I noticed a crumpled paper on the table, I tilted my head slightly taking a seat in the chair Harry was so fond of. I took the slightly damp note into my hands and as I read on the colder my heart became.

I felt my throat close despite my dry eyes as the letter fell from my hands fluttering the floor uselessly. It was then that I took notice of a small blue box and a thin book. I took the small blue box into my hands and I absently noted I was in shock.

Inside was the ring I had given Harry all those years ago as a birthday gift. i still remember his teary eyes and profuse thanks. I stroked the metal leaving small fingerprints my hands shaking slightly as I stared at the ring I thought he had lost, the small trinket that he had kept with him all these years. Memories of how Harry would stare at me brokenly this very box clutched in his hand came flooding back to me, almost drowning me. Of how he would glance up at me with those haunted emerald eyes that held a emotion I now know to be longing sparkling in them before he would snap it shut with a sigh turning his back on me. Unbidden my throat started to close and I knew tears weren't that far away either.

I set the box back onto the table with shaky hands instead taking the old book into my hands. The date 1988 was printed in gold with vines creeping across the front, and i felt I had seen the book from somewhere.

Soon i was sobbing hysterically Harry's photo album containing our childhood clutched to my chest my tears dripping down my face and onto the wooden tabletop, if Harry could see me now. But Harry's dead now, and it's all my fault.

"I would have loved you..."

And I would have, I would have cherished him and treated him like a king. But it was too late now, and I had blew my chance and ruined Harry's life while I was at it. And it was all because I was a fool.

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As the years passed the brave slytherin slipped from the wizarding worlds minds and his sacrifice faded from their thoughts, as Harry had asked Ron had married me and made me happy. He had comforted me and helped me through the dark times. He made sure I ate all my meals and went to bed on time. But Ron had moved on and forgotten as well, like all the others.

But I would never forget him despite what everyone else did or said, I would never forget Harry James Potter, a lion in snakes clothing, a child who grew up too fast, a kid who didn't have a chance, and most of all my first and best friend who I had met in the small library of little Whinging primary on that fateful day all those years ago. I would never forget the small boy who would follow me around like a duckling and show me magic tricks and who would stare at me with those beautiful green eyes that were always too troubled, who would smile and grin despite all the things he went through, the one who was there from the very begining, cheering me on from the sidelines. And I knew only now that I had taken it all for granted, A gift I had disregarded a friendship I had forgotten. And I hadn't been the only one to pay the price. I looked down at the book in my hands fondly running my fingers over the cover. It was a chemistry text, the one that had set fate into motion, with this book a friendship had begun, and with a simple letter it had come crashing down.

They say first love lasts forever, but I know thats a lie now. Because there was no one to love anymore.