They say that love is blind. I have to say I don't agree, I think love opens doors where before there are none. Most people would judge a man by his looks, his appearance and his habits, so most people would run from the scruffily dressed rugged but not handsome looking werewolf in front of me.
But I couldn't see it. I could see further than that, into his eyes and into his soul. Remus had a kind soul, he didn't deserve his fate, but should I care about him any less because of it? And who am I to judge appearance when my own changes so often? Our looks are only the cover, who we are is what matters.
One of those ghastly relatives of mine pulled a face from their portrait. They know how I feel, I am trying to tell Remus. They expected nothing more of me. I am a mudblood, a disgrace to the family name, why not let her love the abomination that is the werewolf.
Sirius also knew. My cousin could see it in my eyes. He had touched my hand and told me Remus needed love, needed me. It had made me cry. I cried for knowing that Remus needed me, and for knowing my cousin approved.
And yet, despite all this approval, where was I. Standing on the stairs watching Remus leave, tears streaming down my face. His excuses reverberated around my mind, too old, too ugly and a werewolf. He had rejected me. I collapsed on the stairs and sobbed as the door shut. I was thankful that the other members of the order were out and that the children were at school. I didn't want to be seen like this.
The portraits laughed. Family members came from all over the house to settle in the nearest canvases and laugh. Even Kreacher paused in his work to see what amused his beloved mistress so.
I didn't care though, I never had, who would care about a family more obsessed with lineage than with each other. All I cared about was the man who had just left me. I felt sick to my stomach, rejection hurt, rejection when everyone was so sure he felt the same hurt a lot. I heaved myself up and wondered through the lonely house to my room where I collapsed and sobbed into the pillow some more. I fell asleep like that, and didn't notice the front door bang shut when Remus returned. I didn't notice him pause in the open doorway of my room before shutting the door on me. In my dreams, we were together, and that was all that mattered just then.