What is this? What have I done? Easily answered. I did another crackfic, taking random funny short videos and memes from the internet and converting them to just be stupid shit Jaune does while staying with Blake and her parents.

As I normally do one-shots for people's use in Reaction Fics, you guys can use this if you want. But really, this was made in like... an hour. So, quality is not promised.

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The strange adventures of Jaune Arc annoying the shit out of people and having no real friends

It was a normal day in Menagerie, if it weren't for the fact that Blake bought home a human friend named Jaune Arc who almost immediately made himself home in Blake's parent's home.

Now… what made this particular day especially egregious when it came to 'weird', was the fact that as soon as Jaune Arc made his way out of the front door, he froze and stared at the ground in front of him.

Blake was half leaning out of her bedroom window, watching as Jaune stared at a white furred stray cat. "What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that? Is that a fucking cat!? Hey, don't fucking look at me like that, that's a weird looking fucking cat!"

Jaune stared at the cat, whose face looked like someone had smashed it with a road roller and had two of its teeth sticking out like tusks.

"KALI! Yo, there's a stray cat outside! I don't want it starting a fight with Blake!" Jaune said, prompting a raised eyebrow from the cat girl above him.

Blake saw Jaune turn around and look at her. "Blake, it's okay." Jaune then made smooch sounds and other cat noises in an attempt to 'calm her down', all of which did nothing but make her regret bringing him. "It's okay, Blake, don't worry about it."

Jaune turned back towards the door "KALI! KALI! There's a weird looking fucking stray cat outside! It looks… it looks like grandma, the fucking thing!"

Jaune pointed violently at the cat, who did nothing but sit there and stare at him. "Hey, get the fuck outta here! I don't even know if that's a fucking cat! BLINK MOTHERFUCKER!"

Suddenly the cat started walking towards him "AAAAAH NONONONONONONO!"

Blake watched, amusedly, as Jaune backed into the house and ran down the hallway. She could hear him screaming for her mother and father. 'This will be fun.' She thought to herself as she saw the stray cat enter the house.

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It was some time later that Jaune did the NEXT stupid thing.

It was breakfast, and the Belladonna family was sitting down and having a wonderful meal together, when suddenly, Jaune entered the room, limping.

Kali's first instinct was worry "Are you alright dear?"

Jaune, without missing a beat, looked her in the eyes and said. "Good morning, Kali, about thirty to forty-five minutes ago, I beat the fuck out of my dick so god damn hard, that I can't even feel my left leg."

Blake and Ghira both spit out their food, one choking on shock (Blake) while the other on laughter (Ghira).

Kali stared at Jaune, mouth agap, trying to process this as Jaune continued.

"My left leg, has went totally numb. And, my DICK has went totally numb, to the point where it feels weird when I go and take a piss." Jaune finished his explanation.

Ghira finally stopped laughing and turned to Jaune. "And what… could make you do it that hard, exactly?" He said, chuckling heavily.

"My imagination of your wife and daughter both rubbing their clits over my dick. Like, Kali on my left side, and Blake on my right." Jaune said with no shame, causing Blake to bury her head in her hands.

Kali lost it, stood up and walked outside.

Ghira on the other hand… fell face first into his food. Rendered unconscious from the shock.

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Blake wondered into the guest room, where Jaune was staying, and froze when she saw him with piles of tools and paper next to him, looking like he was trying to map out the engineering of a space shuttle.

"What are you doing?" She asked him.

"… Will you believe me if I said… nothing?" Jaune asked curiously.

"No… I won't." Blake answered.

"Then… something." Jaune said ominously.

"Fuck this…" Blake sighed and left the room.

Jaune immediately got to work, measuring, cutting, measuring again, cutting again.

The hardest work all of Remnant had ever seen, this would be his masterpiece, his magnum opus!

10 hours later, just before it was time to do the washing, Jaune exited the room, holding a tiny piece of adhesive paper. Blake watched him go, but decided it was in her best interests to ignore him.

Jaune ran into the laundry room and disappeared. Blake continued on into the kitchen.

A few minutes later, Blake heard her mother start laughing uncontrollably from the laundry room. Sighing, Blake stood up and walked over there.

What she saw there explained all the work that Jaune did.

Their clothes washer… was of the 'Zanussi' model. And Jaune had covered up most of it so now it said… 'anus'.

Jaune strode into the room and whispered into Blake's ears "FUCKING MAGNIFICENCE!" I'm just kidding he screamed it.

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Kali worked into the kitchen to see Jaune Arc boiling water on the stove. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making Holy Water…"

"How?"

"Boiling the hell out of it."

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Kali walked into the kitchen to see Jaune Arc boiling water on the stove. "What are you doing?"

Jaune arc pulled a packet off the bench and opened it before dumping its contents into the water. "I'm making Mac & Cheese and NOBODY CAN STOP ME!"

Kali stood stupefied as Jaune started to laugh maniacally and stir the boiling water, sending it and its still packaged contents everywhere.

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It was to Blake's shock that Jaune brought Illia Amitola home one night.

"What… is this?" Blake questioned, pointing to Jaune and the blushing Illia.

"A snack." Jaune said before he grabbed the tip of Illia's hair and shoved it into his mouth.

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So… Illia was now living with them. After she got drunk one night and entered into a relationship with Jaune Arc… somehow…

So now, Jaune had brought the entire Belladonna family together, to see his next get rich scheme. Turns out it was making self-defence videos.

Illia was sitting in a chair next to Jaune as he started speaking. "I've noticed that on the tapes for self-defence, a lot of guys like to show defence from awkward positions… say: sitting in a chair, having your back turned, whatever. So, what I'd like to do is demonstrate a technique I call… 'Defending against a Guy in a Chair'."

Jaune turned towards Illia. "Excuse me."

"Yes…?" Illia had no idea what to expect.

Jaune suddenly kicked her in the chest, knocking her and the chair to the floor.