The season finale never happened. We're thinking happy thoughts right now during this hell. I mean hiatus :))
Enjoy. xx
Kurt laid awake that night. It was extremely difficult to fall asleep. His head throbbed from earlier on the field today.
One of the tattoos led them to an abandoned house that contained 20 children. His heart ached as he remembered Taylor around that age, so happy and full of life while those kids were malnutrition and slept on the floor. It was a saddening experience. Jane couldn't contain her emotions as much, she broke down right there remembering her own flashback of all those children.
Kurt gripped her tightly trying to comfort her that he hadn't seen one of the abductors slip back inside the house shooting five of the children point blank then attacking him. Jane was shoved out of the way and his head slammed against the hard door
Jane quickly composed herself and took all of them out in less than 2 minutes.
The thought of her being completely badass formed a smile on his lips
He shook his head as his thoughts ran on her. Usually he would push away any thoughts of her but tonight he let it consume him.
She was insanely beautiful, if only she knew that. He couldn't help but admire the way her face flustered when they made eye contact, the way she smiles at him at the least expected moments. God, she was beautiful.
He especially loved the way she loved him. They have been dating secretly for about 2 months
From the moment she kissed him at his house he knew he'd never be able to let her go. Not ever. He didn't want to
He loved her just as much. They frequently discussed what it would mean for them to be dating and working together. They hadn't really gotten in depth with the situation.
But tonight he was thinking alot of it
Go to sleep, Kurt. He scolded
She loves you, that should be enough
But is it though?
He didn't think it was wise what he was doing - what they were doing.
It shouldn't have been allowed but yet he allowed it. She doesn't even remember herself and he practically forced her into a relationship with him. She didn't need that kind of pressure. She was already pressured enough with the whole incident
Shit. I didn't even ask her how she felt - how she really felt
He glanced over at the clock that stood firm on his bed stand
2:06am it read. He sighed and picked up his phone half hoping she was still awake, half hoping she wasn't
Quickly swallowing the lump in his throat he started dialing her number before he could talk himself out of it.
She picked up almost instantly he smiled a bit when she actually sounded happy that he called
"Why aren't you asleep?" He asked trying to sound stern but it sounded more of concern and worry
"I'm okay, Kurt" she whispered, hearing him sigh on the other end of the line
"But I could ask you the same. Why are you still up?" She sat up at this point
"Can't sleep" he just shrugged simply
"Hm. Tell me all about it -"
"Are you happy, Jane? with me, with us?' He asked quickly, interrupting her
She could hear the strain in his voice but there was something else there too
"Kurt" was all she could breathe out
He rubbed his fingers against his temples, he allowed a long sigh before he spoke again
"Jane, I love you but I'm just worried. I don't think we -"
The tears she was blinking back so aggressively were now stinking her eyes as she fought to find her words to return the favour by interrupting him as he did her earlier
"I love you too. I love you so much. What's wrong, Kurt? Is there someone else?" Her voice cracked out at this point she was crying openly.
He heard her struggle to keep her emotions at bay. He was hurting her - he knew that but she needed to listen to his reasoning
"Baby" he whispered gently, wishing he could kiss those tears away.
He wanted to hold her close to his heart and let her know that it beats only for her but he needed to keep her safe, he needed to protect her.
"I love you. There's no one else, I promise but we can't do this" he answered shakily.
He could hear her sniffles and movements before she said 'okay'
The way she spoke pained him. It shredded his heart but he couldn't focus with their secret affair over his head. He needed to be focused and prepared and he needed to protect her at all cost.
"Kurt?" He heard her whisper
"Yes? Tell me" it pained him so much to know that he was breaking her but he wanted to protect and he didn't want her to become an unnecessary target. He didn't want anyone targeting her to get to him. He needed her safe, even if that meant keeping her at arm's length
"I know you don't wanna talk about whatever's bothering you and I understand. I hope you find everything that you need and when you find you come back to me" her voice cracked so much but she fought through it. She had to remain strong through this
She knew she couldn't face seeing him at work everyday now so she planned to resign, to visit another country and start over.
"I love you, Jane" he hasn't realized he was crying too until he felt the tears slide down his cold cheek.
"I love you too" and with that she hung up
Their actions mirrored each other.
They both tossed and turned; unable to sleep, unable to breathe without winching
They both needed each other - they were each other's air but it couldn't go on. He had to move on. He had to keep her safe
Jane's alarm blared at 5am. She had barely fallen asleep about 40 minutes ago. Her eyes were bloodshot red considering she had basically cried herself to sleep. She got out of bed and rushed to the bathroom and took a long, hot shower. She let herself cry and scream all she wanted to since no one could hear her under the pressure of the water drumming onto her back.
It took her 30 minutes to get dressed. She needed to see him, hug him one more time before she left for good but she didn't think she could.
She immediately went downstairs to grab some breakfast and went down to her detail so that they could take her to work.
It seemed like an awfully long ride to the office. She gripped her resignation letter tightly. When they finally got there she tried to fix her appearance in the rear view, her eyes were red and swollen. It was obvious she had been crying.
She marched straight to Mayfair's office.
"Good morning" she tried to smile at her boss but it didn't work
Mayfair eyed her suspiciously. "You're early. Are you okay?"
Mayfair asked she was worried now as she looked at the visibly broken woman standing before her
"I'm okay, I just came to give this to you" she outstretched her hands to Mayfair as she picked as the invisible lint on her sweater
She stood there for what felt like an eternity before the woman spoke up again
"Sit down, Jane." Her tone was different now
It was gentler and concerned
"Look at me" she requests softly
Jane slowly raised her head to reach her eyes.
Mayfair held her hands in hers "What's bothering you?"
"I just need to go. I hope you understand but I can't be here anymore" she whispered quietly before she excused herself rambling on about saying goodbye to the rest of the team before she left
She made her way to Patterson.
She walked over to the blonde genius and wrapped her into a tight hug
"Oh! Good morning to you too, Jane" she chuckled lightly before she saw Jane's pained expression as she pulled back
"What's wrong?" They all had the same questions but she couldn't even tell them. She didn't think she was allowed to
Then she heard Tasha's voice. So she was in a room with two of her girlfriends. They both gave her own time before she explained as they saw how broken she was
"What happened, Jane" Tasha asked after some time
"I'm leaving the FBI" jane whispered, flinching as she heard both women in unison "What?!"
She just shrugged and hung her head low. It was getting difficult to hold the tears back at this point so instead of fighting she just lets it go
She slid down and let her cries rock through her body. She shook as she pulled her knees up to her face
Part of her hoped they knew so she wouldn't have to explain
They both just went over to hug her. They all just sat in silence like that for awhile until Jane finally speaks up
"I need a fresh start. I just want to leave this, she motioned at her tattoos, behind."
Patterson nodded understandingly
But Tasha, she knew. Of course Tasha knew
"What did he do, Jane?"
Confusion flooded the black haired, tattooed woman
"What are you -" she was cut off by the raise of Tasha's hand
"Kurt. I know you guys have something going on. Did he do something to you?"
Jane remained silent and just hugged her knees
"Jane!"
"We broke up" she was sure they couldn't hear her because of softly she spoke but they did
Her coworkers shared knowing looks before pulling her back into a hug
"Take your time. We'll be here when you get back I know I don't have to tell you this but be careful and be safe"
She hugged them back tightly and talked about how much she'll miss them - all of them.
"Give me a few weeks I'll make contact after I'm settled"
They all stood up and exchanged another tearful hug
In a split second she was gone. She didn't know where she was going but she got back into the car and instructed the driver to take her to a bus stop
She had been saving whatever money she got from the FBI and from Kurt.
Even though she mentioned several times that she didn't need his money
He'd still leave a wad of cash for her to find when she woke up
She never spent it, never needed to. But right now she did
She took all of it into an envelope and got on a bus.
She didn't know where to but she'd get there eventually
"Good morning" Kurt said as he greeted his coworkers they all muffled a quiet response and just stared at him
Tasha, glared at him. She huffed as she walked right past him
"What's wrong with her? Did she break up with her boyfriend? He joked but no one laughed with him
He straighten up "what's wrong, guys?"
No one answered him, instead they just busied themselves with odd work
He knew something was wrong with them but he'd find out that later
"Kurt, a minute" He glanced up to see Mayfair at the door with a letter in hand
He quickly made his way over to her "Good morning"
"Morning, look at this"
His eyes scanned the paper. He drew in breathe as all the horrible thoughts flooded his mind.
"Where is she?" He asked calmly
"I don't know. She said she needs to start over" Mayfair explained briefly
Kurt leaped out of the office and went straight to Patterson's lab
"Where is she?" He asked a little more forcefully this time
"Who?" Patterson asked even though she was certain he meant Jane
"Jane. You know she resigned, where'd she go? Can you track her phone" he pleaded
Patterson let out a long sigh "I'm not going to track her. She's hurting and she needs her own time. She said she'll call in a few weeks"
Did I hurt her so much that she felt the need to flee? From the only people she knows ? Kurt thought sadly to himself.
And that's it, folks!
Thank you so much to those that take time to read this mess. Lol
I would love to hear your thoughts
If it was somewhat enjoyable I will continue
Thanks again!