I saw The Force Awakens last weekend and it completely killed me, so I needed to write some cute n dumb Han/Leia of my own, and everyone knows I'm trash for modern AUs and prompt fics. This one just really spoke to me as something that Han and Leia would get themselves into bc they're dumb like that.
Han Solo awoke with a phenomenal headache and extremely blurred vision– had he gone blind? No, that's stupid, he was just horrendously hungover and had no clue where his glasses were. After feeling around him for a moment– damn, the bed was soft– he found his glasses on the bedside table and shoved them onto his face. He rubbed his eyes underneath the glasses, then took a deep breath and exhaled. With his vision restored, Han sat up slowly and carefully and took a good look at his surroundings.
Han definitely wasn't in his apartment, that was for sure. There was too much light streaming in from large windows– even with the currents closed, too much light, it made his headache worse– too many sandy, light colors around, and this bed was the softest thing he'd ever felt in his whole life.
But how did he get here?
The previous night was a haze of strobe lights and Luke ordering more and more shots and the beautiful brunette girl that Han had met, or possibly been blessed with– Leia. Leia who had drunk Han almost under the table effortlessly; who had alternated fighting with and flirting with Han for the whole night; who had somehow managed to make Uptown Funk sexy by dancing to it.
To his dismay, Han couldn't remember a whole lot after Leia had, despite being a full foot shorter than Han, pressed him up against the outside wall of the club they had been in and kissed him deeply. If the last night had been just a one night stand, he really wanted to remember it, but no such luck. Figures.
As Han was not in his apartment, he could only assume that he was in Leia's. And he wasn't alone, because he could hear the shower running.
Han slipped out of the very comfortable bed, found his boxers and tee shirt, and decided to find the kitchen and try and whip something up for breakfast for Leia. Assuming she was a breakfast person, but what sane person wasn't? Either way, he just wanted to do something nice for her.
The kitchen was easy to find, but on his way there, Han noticed that there was virtually no sign of life in Leia's apartment. Maybe she'd just move in? Maybe it was that minimalist crap that everyone always went on about.
The kitchen was just as bare. The only thing in the cabinets was a full box of Cheerios, but there was milk in the fridge, two bowls in the cabinet, and two spoons in the drawer– which was weird as hell but whatever– so Han fixed up two bowls of Cheerios, sat down on one of the stools at the counter, and waited for Leia to get out of the shower.
Han only had to wait a couple minutes for the water to turn off, a few more til Han heard bare feet padding down the hallway, then Leia appeared, her long hair partially dried, and her body wrapped in a large towel. She grinned when she saw him.
"Han," she whispered, "your head feel as bad as mine?"
"Oh yeah," Han nodded slowly and handed Leia her bowl of Cheerios. She gave him another winning smile, thanked him, and leapt up onto the stool beside him. They didn't talk for a few minutes while they ate, just looked at each other. Then, Leia spoke,
"You've got a really nice shower, you know," she said in between spoonfuls.
Han furrowed his eyebrows. How hungover was Leia? "Leia… this is your place."
Leia froze. "No, it isn't. This isn't my apartment. It's not yours?"
Han shook his head. His heart skipped a beat. Leia stared at him in horror.
"We gotta get out of here," Han said, beginning to panic. Leia nodded quickly.
They downed the rest of their Cheerios in gulps, then Leia pushed her bowl at Han. "You get the kitchen; I'll make the bed." Han nodded his agreement and got to work. He rinsed the bowls out and tried to wash the spoons thoroughly, despite finding no dish soap anywhere, and straightened up the kitchen. When he was satisfied with his work, Han ran back to the bedroom to help Leia, who he found had gotten dressed again in her high waist shorts and white crop top from the night before and was turning the fitted sheet inside out and trying to put it back on the large bed singlehandedly. Han took the side opposite from Leia to help out.
"So, who's apartment is this anyway?" Han asked.
"Like I know," Leia replied tersely as she moved to the bottom side of the fitted sheet; Han mirrored her actions. "I can barely remember yesterday afternoon, let alone last night."
"You remembered my name though," Han pointed out with a small smirk.
"Well yeah, I'm not going to forget a guy who introduced himself as Han Yolo," Leia replied smugly.
Han mentally cursed himself as he picked up the regular bedsheet. He flailed for a reply that would safe his dignity. "Hope I lived up to the name," was all he could come up with.
Leia laughed, but didn't reply. Han wasn't sure whether or not that was a good sign. They quickly put the sheet back on the bed, then the comforter, then the pillows. When they were done, Han found his jeans, vest, and shoes and put them all back on. Leia ran into the bathroom, then came out a few moments later.
"I hung up the towels I used, maybe whoever's apartment this is will think they used them." She ran a hand through her still damp hair as she walked towards the door. Han was sort of mesmerized. "Have you seen my shoes?" Leia looked back at him with raised eyebrows.
Han wasn't sure how he remembered where they were, but he reached a hand under the bed and pulled out a pair of gold pumps. Leia held out her hands in a gesture that said just throw them and Han did, still standing in the same spot and staring after her
"C'mon, laser brain!" Leia motioned for Han to follow her. Han suddenly remembered that they really needed to get out of this apartment before whoever actually lived there got back and hurried after her.
"How'd we get in here?" Han asked as they straightened up the living room, which was only in slight disarray. All the pillows had been pushed to one side of the couch, and a bunch of blankets had been thrown around– again, weird as hell, but Han wasn't going to question it.
"I don't know!" Leia threw a pillow at Han forcefully, which he returned with less gusto. "Maybe you picked the lock or something."
"How'd you know I can– I mean, I can't pick locks! That's illegal," Han raised his eyebrows at Leia and pointed a finger at her. Leia tossed a look over her shoulder at him.
"You told me last night," she replied with an eye roll before looking away from him. Han caught an amused smile on her face and grinned to himself. Leia's next words wiped the smile right off his face. "Right after you told me you had lasers for eyes and had once been encased in carbonite."
Han groaned quietly as Leia finished up what she was doing and walked over to him.
"Now, Mr. Yolo, let's get out of here and maybe I'll treat you to some coffee," Leia grabbed Han's arm and started pulling him out of the apartment.
Just as Leia's hand touched the doorknob, they heard quick footsteps in the hallway outside and froze. Leia looked back at Han in terror and tightened her grip on his arm. When the doorknob started to turn, Leia and Han both immediately started looking around for places to hide. Han had just started to drag Leia towards the food pantry when the door swung open. In walked the owner of the apartment–
Who just so happened to be a very hungover-looking Luke Skywalker, carrying three Starbucks cups and a box of donuts.
Han and Leia simultaneously sighed in relief.
"You two look like you've seen a ghost!" Luke observed as he handed one cup to Han and one to Leia. Han couldn't help but snort when he noticed that the barista had spelled Leia's name Laya.
"Well, yeah!" Han replied, running a hand through his hair. "I woke up in an apartment I didn't recognize and thought I'd broken in when I was drunk or something!"
"Han," Luke said in the way one would talk to a confused child, "I've told you multiple times that I got a new apartment, that I was moving in yesterday, and that the movers were going to come today. This place was closer than your apartment or Leia's, and we all needed a place to crash." Luke paused, looking at both Han and Leia intently, before he turned to go sit on the couch. "Not that I'm not still a little miffed that you guys had sex in my new bed." He shuddered as he fell backwards onto the couch. Han and Leia followed him. They sat down on either side of him and each took a donut out of the box that Luke had dropped onto the coffee table.
"I mean, could you at least have let me have my own bed?" Luke turned to Leia, questioningly. "I am the oldest, I should have superiority, sis."
"Wait a second– sis?" Han sat up suddenly.
Luke and Leia turned to look at Han.
"Han," Leia said slowly, "last night, Luke introduced me as his sister, Leia."
"Hey," Han threw his hands up, "I can barely remember what I had for dinner last night!"
"Tequila, mostly," Leia replied. Luke snickered.
Han fell back into the couch. "How did I not know you had a sister, kid?" His question was, clearly, directed at Luke.
"I dunno! I just never mentioned her! We've only known each other for a couple months. Besides, I didn't even know I had a sister 'til a couple years ago!"
Han furrowed his brows. "I'm too hungover to question that right now." Suddenly, Han sat up again, eyes wide.
"And you can't judge, princess," Han pointed his donut at Leia. "You didn't know whose apartment we were in either!"
Luke turned to Leia and fixed her with a look. Leia took a sip of her coffee and tried to look innocent. "I drank more last night than either of you! That's an excuse!"
Han rolled his eyes, but couldn't think of an adequately witty reply.
"You're both insane," Luke decided after a moment of silence. "I don't know what good I thought would come from introducing you."
Han took a peek around Luke to meet Leia's eyes. She raised her eyebrows at him, leaving Luke's statement open for Han to answer.
"Well," Han put his coffee cup down, then moved closer to Luke so that he could wrap his free arm around Luke's shoulders and put his hand on Leia's shoulder too. "I'm sure we'll find out!"
Aren't they stupid? I love the dumb space fam.
Thanks for reading and pls leave a review 3