Takao's heart sank. She had looked forward to and planned out this whole night for over a week and a half. She had wanted to take a night off to forget everything that was frustrating her-work, other friends, and the stress of everyday life. She had invited her close friend, Chihaya Gunzou, to walk the beach with her for the night. While he had come, and initially seemed to be enjoying himself, Takao could tell something was bothering him.
"Gunzou?" She eyed him, worriedly.
"Yeah? What's up?" He looked over, his long black hair nearly covering his eyes. Takako felt her cheeks go red at the sight, though she fought down her feelings.
She gave him a stare. "You. Something's bothering you." She looked out over the ocean, squinting in the glare of the setting sun. "I mean, usually you're pretty optimistic and upbeat. But now you're not."
Gunzou stopped walking and leaned against a nearby jetty. "Takao, have you ever been close to someone before?" The blue-haired girl froze, and turned back to face him.
"What do you mean by close?"
Gunzou's face became long, and he cracked a sad smile. "A friend you do nearly everything with, who you trust and care about more than anyone else."
Wincing, Takao's gaze dropped to the sand. Yeah, you, she thought,I can't say that though. Obviously someone else already has his heart. She felt her heart breaking as she spoke. "No, not really. I haven't lived here long. Only moved here from Germany a few weeks ago. You're my only real friend." Even as she said it, she felt her face flush, and a bead of sweat slid down the back of her neck.
The truth was that Takao had begun to harbor feelings for her friend not long after they had starting spending more time together outside of school. Gunzou had always been nice, but she had only taken notice of him seriously after he had told off the group of older girls who had been taunting her about her still-strong German accent. The seniors, while they hadn't physically harmed her, had mocked her, as well as shoved her against her locker. As Takao began to cry, the group had left her, laughing amongst themselves. She had sunk to the floor, not even caring as more people pushed past her, taking no notice.
A moment later, the thump of a bag on the floor forced her to look up. "Hey, are you alright?" When Takao focused on him, she recognised him as Chihaya Gunzou, her classmate and the captain of the school's varsity soccer team.
"Chihaya? Why are you here?" Takao made no effort to get off the floor.
He smiled and held out a hand. Warily, she took it, and he helped her up. "I saw them. Those girls. I know who they are." His tone went from friendly to almost angry in the space of a few seconds.
"W-who?" Takao choked.
"Kongou, Hiei, Haruna, and Kirishima. Four rich sisters. All on the varsity cheerleading. I can't stand them. Major jerks in their own different ways." Gunzou smiled. "Anyway, we're gonna be late to class. Come on. I'll walk you there. I'll explain to Ms. Warren what happened. It'll be fine."
Hurriedly gathering her scattered bags and laptop, Takao nodded and wrung her hands. Gunzou gave her a questioning look. To his surprise, she suddenly tackled him with a hug. Before he could react, she had pulled away, apologising profusely. Gunzou shook his head. "Nah it's fine. You're welcome. Come on. We don't wanna be too late." He smiled softly, and ruffled her hair. "I'll keep an eye on you."
As so it was. Ever since, for the next three weeks, Gunzou picked her up at her second period class and personally walked her to their shared class. He ignored the sisters' taunts and catcalls, and somehow, his ignoring them helped Takao ignore them as well.
Now, as Takao listened to Gunzou talk about having someone he was close to, that incident, as well as several other things he had done for her were fresh in her mind. "I had another friend like that," Gunzou said softly.
"Had?" Takao murmured.
"Kotono Amaha was my closest friend when I was growing up. We did everything together. Our relationship was probably half brother-sister and half boyfriend-girlfriend. I don't really know what to think now." Gunzou clenched his fist, and Takao could see that it was taking everything he had to keep from crying.
"You said 'was' and 'had'." What happened?" She walked over and sat next to him. "Is something wrong?"
"You remember when I didn't text you at all nearly all day last Thursday?" He eyed her wearily. Takao nodded. "I, uh, was told something about Kotono."
Concern mounting, Takao nodded. "That doesn't sound good. What happened? Is she okay?"
Gunzou didn't answer right away. He clenched his fist again, while pursing his lips in an attempt to keep from crying. Takao slid an arm around his shoulders. "I-I found out t-that s-she was k-killed two days ago."
Takao gasped, and her grip on her friend tightened. "Car accident. Apparently she had stopped at a railroad crossing two nights ago. As she waited, the driver of the tractor-trailer must had been either distracted or tired." He paused, trying to gather his thoughts. "When he rear-ended her, he pushed her through the crossing gates and onto the track." He paused again, tears flowing freely now. "At least it was quick." A slight edge of bitterness crept into his voice.
"That doesn't make it any easier to deal with." Takao whispered. As Gunzou broke, sobs racking his body, Takao pulled him into a hug to comfort him just as he had done for her so many times before. She didn't really know what to say, so she simply held him. It was the least she could do for him. Plus, it gave her an excuse to hug him, something she could never do enough.
After some time, Gunzou sniffed twice, pulled away, and shook his head. "I should go."
"No, why?" Takao panicked. She had, despite her confused feelings, actually been enjoying talking with him. The last thing she wanted was for him to go now.
Gunzou said nothing, only burying his head in his hands. As she watched, Takao could feel her heart breaking again as she watched her closest friend, crush, and older brother figure go to pieces. Again lacking any better idea of what to do, she simply pulled him into another hug. To her surprise, this time he vehemently returned her affection.
After a moment he spoke again, almost in a whisper. "I guess I'll have to eventually let her go. I mean, there's no getting her back, and I know she wouldn't have wanted me to act like this." He pulled away just enough to look Takao in the eyes. "I'm just not sure where to go from here, or really what to do." Gunzou sighed. "Like, tonight was supposed to be fun, a night to get away from everything else. And all i did was bring it here. That's not fair to you—"
He was cut off when Takao pressed her finger against his lips. "That's enough of that. I'm gonna stop you right there." She took his hand and pulled him to sit down next to her in the sand. How far do I go? I know he's hurting from losing his friend, and I want to help, but I also want him to see me as someone else he can love. Frowning slightly at herself, Takao squeezed Gunzou's arm in an attempt to both calm herself and comfort him. "Whatever you need to talk about, go ahead. If it's something that you need to discuss, then I'll be here to listen. I want you to trust me and talk to me, but I'm not going to force you"
Gunzou' despite how he was feeling, could feel himself smiling slightly as Takao brought that up. However, that happiness was short lived. Again, Takao had mentioned their 'friendship', and while Gunzou couldn't deny that he had harboured a romantic interest in Kotono, after spending more and more time with Takao and getting to know her, watching over her, and sharing the occasional laugh, he wasn't sure that he wanted to think of Takao as only a friend and classmate. "Takao, what would you do in this situation?"
The sudden question caught the young girl by surprise. "M-me? Uh, I'm not sure. I guess I have been in that situation when I left Germany since I left most of my other friends there." She paused, trying to figure out how to phrase her words. "I wouldn't want to just spend all my time after losing someone just holed up and being sad. I guess if l lost the one I was closest to I would want to find someone else to spend my time with." Smiling slightly, Takao scooted closer, trying to draw in some of Gunzou's warmth as the sun sank below the horizon. Yawning, Takao leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He returned her affection by wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Getting cold?" Gunzou gave her a small smile, and Takao felt her face turn slightly red.
"Yeah, that too." She realised she had said too much before she could stop herself. "Oh, uh, never mind that," she stammered.
Still remaining close, Gunzou pushed himself up and faced her. "I know that phrase," he smirked. "What's bugging you?"
Takao grimaced. While she had wanted to have this sort of conversation with Gunzou, right now it didn't have the same, slow sweet, trusting feel that she'd always imagined. "How do you see me?" She paused. "Actually, let me rephrase that: How do you feel about me?" Bracing herself, Takao once again forced herself to meet Gunzou's gaze.
Gunzou didn't immediately respond. He stared out to sea for a moment, presumably trying to piece together his thoughts. "Not everyone has that someone they can return home to. Many people leave home and go to sea because they want to get away from their lives. But sooner or later, they come home. To where? I think that, no matter how angry or frustrated or sad or whatever drove them to leave someone is, sooner or later they come home, and they want to come home to someone. Who exactly that someone is depends on the person, but for me, that was Kotono. However, after running into you that morning in the hall, and now having spent more and more time with you, it appears that you've become that reason, or more specifically, that someone."
He paused, and looked over at Takao, smiling slightly while also blushing. Takao was blushing and smiling as well, and a flame of hope flickered in her eyes. "You've become like a sister to me, Takao. Somehow, it's like I can always go and talk to you about whatever, whenever, and I know you'll be there to answer me and help me. That is something that can't ever be replaced."
As soon as that flame was lit, it was extinguished. Takao's face fell, and she turned away. "I guess that sometimes you have to be content with just being 'so' close to someone. Like no matter what you do, you'll just be second place, or third place, or just someone's friend and nothing more, you know, things like that. Any of that make sense?"
Gunzou winced. "I must be especially slow tonight. What is it I'm missing?"
Blushing even more, and feeling her hands and face begin to sweat, Takao decided to take the bull by the horns. "I guess I'm just realising that all I'm ever gonna be is your sister figure, and nothing more." She paused and stood, facing the now black sea while tucking her hand into her pockets. "I can come to terms with that idea, but it still hurts nevertheless to hear it." Takao looked back down at Gunzou, who was looking up at her with an expression of partial sadness, and partial shame. "Maybe you're right. Maybe we should go, and call it a night before I start-" She paused. "-before something else goes wrong." As Takao turned to head back to her car, she began walking quicker and hiding her face in her hood. Gunzou hurried up and caught her by the arm.
"What were you going to say, before you corrected yourself?" While his tone wasn't condescending, he did seem to be pushing her for an answer.
Taking a deep breath, Takao answered without facing Gunzou. "I was going to say 'before I start crying', but it's too late for that." Gunzou said nothing, only holding her arm lightly. Takao heard him curse a few times, while his hand dropped to his side.
"Would you please come sit back down with me?" His voice took on a sad tone, almost pleading. Takao turned to face him, and Gunzou's heart broke. In all the time he had known her, the only times Takao had cried were after she was bullied, or when she spoke with an old friend she had been missing from Germany. He'd always prided himself on keeping her happy and smiling, and now she was crying, because of him.
Eyes red, Takao glanced up. Gunzou appeared ready to cry again. Despite her pain, she nodded, and allowed him to guide her back to the jetty. As the two sat down again, Gunzou gently turned Takao's head towards him. "Have you really had feelings for me for this long?"
"I'm realising that I am the kind of person who falls for someone in an instant, after just a few interactions." She sighed. "Yeah, I started to like you right after you walked me to class that second day. After we began spending more time together, my feelings intensified. But no matter what I did, I couldn't seem to catch your eye."
Gunzou nodded thoughtfully. "I've been told that I can be blind to other people's affections." He sighed, and leaned back against the jetty's cold stone. "But as much as I cared about Kotono, our relationship is different. Kotono was always just talking about simple nothings or we would just go hang out at a movie or something."
Leaning forward, Gunzou put a hand on Takao's arm. "But you've always been there for me whenever something was going wrong. Somehow, after I started walking you to class and talking more, something about you drew me to you."
He paused, and laughed. "I'm sounding super cliche, aren't I?"
Nearly fumbling her words, Takao vehemently shook her head. "You're being honest. Say it however you can."
"Takao, if I'm to be totally honest, I do feel the same way about you. I never even considered Kotono a girlfriend as much as she was my sister." Gunzou smiled, and stood, offering a hand to Takao. As she stood, Takao looked him in the eyes, the flame in her eyes burning again.
"So what does this mean, for us?" Gunzou asked, still sounding nervous, which he was.
"Well, what do you want it to mean?" Takao surprised herself by how calm she sounded.
Gunzou said nothing, only stepping closer to her, and pulling her into yet another hug, his arms clinging to her as if she were something precious he might lose if he let go. He pulled back for a moment, looked her in the eye, and smirked. "I want it to mean this."
In one swift motion, he dropped his arms to take her hands in his, while at the same time pressing his lips against her's, trying to put unsaid and unspoken desires into the kiss, hoping Takao would understand.
Takao's eyes went wide, and she tensed up, but after a brief moment, she melted into him, allowing herself to enjoy the moment. Something she had once only dreamed of, in only her most tired, sleep-deprived brain, was now a reality. A shocking, unexpected reality, but reality nevertheless.
After nearly a full minute, Gunzou pulled away, if only because of a lack of air. Takao was panting as well, but she looked happier than Gunzou had ever seen her. As Gunzou gazed into Takao's deep blue eyes, he couldn't help but break out laughing. Takao started giggling, and soon the two were leaning against each other totally at ease.
"So, is that what you want this to become?" Gunzou deadpanned at her.
Takao stared for a moment, then punched him in the arm and laughed again. "Of course it is. I want nothing else right now." Before he could reply, Takao gave Gunzou another kiss and pulled him into another hug, this one softer and more relaxed.
"You've been waiting for this for a while haven't you?" Gunzou murmured as Takao nuzzled his cheek.
"Hmm," Takao murmured. "You could say that." Yawning, she leaned into Gunzou's side, and he stumbled briefly, before catching her with a quiet laugh.
Even though Takao had dreamed many times about telling Gunzou how she felt and thought often about how badly she wanted him to see her as someone he could love, the events of the evening had exceeded her dreams. After a moment, she pulled away only enough to look him in the eyes. "You do know I dreamed about this a lot, right?"
Gunzou smiled. "Yeah, based on the way you acted, I'm sure you did." He paused, as Takao shivered in his arms.
She shook and rubbed her hands together. "S-sorry. I j-just wasn't p-prepared to be out this long."
Gunzou hurriedly removed his jacket and drapped it over her shoulders. "Here, wear this till we get back to my truck. Let's go. It is late, getting cold, and we don't want people to think things, do we?"
"Not yet," Takao whispered. "Alright yeah let's head back. I am getting cold and now you don't have your jacket, you silly."
As Takao turned to walk back, she dropped her hand down and slid her fingers through Gunzou's. He traced his thumb over Takao's hand, squeezing gently. Takao smiled and pulled Gunzou closer to her. "I love you. I've wanted to say that for so long."
Blushing, Gunzou buried his face in Takao's shoulder. "You're too cute. Dangerous to my health." He squeaked as Takao poked him in the side. "Eep! Fine, you win. I love you too sweetheart."
Takao only squeaked and looked away, blushing. Gunzou started laughing and after a moment, she joined in. "Come on, let's get back to my truck and get you home." Gunzou said.
Takao didn't object. She clung to Guznou's hand and allowed him to lead her. As Gunzou helped her climb in, Takao found she couldn't stop smiling. She had waited, wished, hoped for, and dreamed about a day like this since she first met Gunzou, never thinking that he could possibly share her feelings. Even today hadn't exactly gone as planned. Yet Takao wouldn't have wanted any part of it to change. As Gunzou drove home, he did his best to hold her hand, despite having to shift gears every so often. Even once they reached her apartment, he wouldn't let her get herself out of the car.
"Gunzou I can open a car door myself," she insisted, but he was adamant about getting it for her.
"I'll get it, don't you worry," Gunzou waved off her concerns. As he helped her out and go to the door, Takao couldn't help but smile at her boyfriend's simple, helping nature. "You're too kind, ya know that?"
"Maybe I am. But for you, I don't mind doing this." He opened her door, ushered her inside, and helped her remove his jacket. "Anything else I can get for you?"
Takao shook her head. "I'm fine for tonight. Just make sure you get home safe, alright?" Reaching up, she kissed Gunzou one last time before nudging him towards the door. "I love you. Text me when you get home."
Gunzou smiled. "Will do. Love you too." As he walked back out to his truck, his thoughts wandered back to the past few hours. He hadn't expected Takao to be as direct as she had, nor had he expected to tell her about Kotono. Kotono was something from his past that he didn't tell too many people about. However, something about Takao's simple, trusting, friendly nature had convinced him to talk about Kotono. As the icing on the cake, he had found out that Takao reciprocated his own feelings for her. Gunzou had scored not only a confidant of personal hardships, but also a caring and capable girlfriend. What more could he have wanted?