Their eyes met again; just like it did that afternoon in the toy department at Frankenberg's. Same way, but somewhat different, they looked at each other as if was the first time. They stared at each other for what seemed an eternity, as if the time had stopped and all felt like a delicious dream. Dream that neither of them wanted or could wake up from. Noises in the background finally broke through the silence and Carol gestured to come over. Therese hesitated for a second and after a heartbeat started to move towards the table. She moved as if she was just learning how to walk, unsure but exhilarated. She kept her eyes locked on Carol, desperately trying not to show how nervous she was.
'My dear friend Therese Belivet.' - Carol's voice was soft. Therese didn't move and after few moments she noticed she's been ignoring a handshake.
`Name's Barry, you can call me Baz` - hand still outstretched towards Therese.
'Nice to meet you Baz`, she replied shaking his hand, as if she just remembered how to speak.
Mrs Wilde mimicked the introduction and gently shook Therese's hand.
Throughout the dinner Carol glanced at Therese couple of times but didn't actually spoke to her. How could she? What would she say? Would she find the words to describe how happy she was to see her after an excrutiating, humiliating even, endeavour couple of hours ago?
Therese told Baz and Mrs Wilde about her photography and new job at the New York Times. She was prepared to tell them her life story, spill anything they'd ask her. Anything but what brought her here this evening. Moments later Carol glanced at her wrist watch making sure it was noticed by both Baz and Mrs Wilde. She then let out a not so subtle yawn. This made Therese grin. She knew : Carol was pulling off a well crafted act to cut the dinner short. Success. The check arrived at their table in a short while, soon followed the good-bye's.
Sudden rush of excitement washed over Therese. She could not help but wonder `What will happen now?`. Will she have the strength to keep herself together? Will she be able not to burst into tears? Will she have the guts to finally tell the woman she loves all those things she's kept locked up? Is she going to tell Carol how hurt she was, how miserable their breakup have made her? Will she admit to Carol, to herself, that she hated her for leaving just like that? All these thoughts made Therese feel nauseous.
As they both grabbed their coats to leave Therese struggled to hide her shaking hands. Carol noticed this and gave her a loving smile. This comforted Therese but didn't stop the shaking. Carol lighted a cigarette as they stepped out into the night. It was a quiet Friday night in the city of New York; it felt strange but nice at the same time.
'Fancy a walk?` - Carol said casually. Therese was startled, it was unusual for Carol not to drive everywhere.
`Sure`. Walking through the streets with Carol sure felt different. Therese tried to remember when, or if ever, they took a walk together.
`What made you change your mind?` - Carol asked after a long pause.
Therese swallowed hard and was silent for a moment.
`I always say YES to you, so how could've I said NO?`. Therese was taken aback after what she's just said herself; it sounded so simple. She worried herself crazy all the way through dinner of what she was going to say.
`Thank you` - said Carol barely audible and gently squeezed Therese's hand. Therese wasn't sure what was Carol thanking her for. Was it for loving her? For forgiving her? And how could she not love her? How could she not forgive her?
They walked in silence for what it seemed ages. The night was getting cold and both started shivering. Just as well Therese realised they were only a block away from her apartment; as if Carol had it all planned. A masterful plan to finally have a moment together. A grin appeared on Therese's face – she should've known that Carol had it all planned and yet Therese fell for it. She blamed herself for not knowing (or has she forgotten?) this much about Carol. Carol – always thinking. Always.
It took Therese few moments to find her keys as they seemed to be buried at the very bottom of her purse. She didn't want to ring the buzzer and wake her land lady up at this late hour, even though the clock just hit 11pm.
`I'll make some tea to warm you up, unless you'd like something else? I have a few...`.
`Tea is just fine, thank you` - Carol said as she was taking her coat off.
Therese noticed Carol examining the apartment – freshly painted walls, re-arranged furniture, photographs on the wall. The apartment looked familiar but very alienesque at the same time. Carol knew Therese's life have changed a lot since their break-up; she imagined how heartbroken Therese came back after Abby drove her home and how much time have passed till she put herself together. There was a hint of disappointment in Carol's expression since she no longer saw her photographs on the wall. Therese wondered whether that did hurt Carol. If only she knew Therese kept every one of them in a special box hidden under the bed. The box Therese opened every night since the break-up.
`Carol... I just wanted to say, that..` - she could not find the words.
`Dearest. You coming back to see me this evening is beyond words. I am not expecting you to understand why I left you without a warning. I am also not looking to make excuses.`
Tears started rolling down Therese's cheeks and there was nothing in this world to stop it. She didn't know if those were tears of joy or pain. All she knew that every word was truth and how difficult it must've been for Carol not cry herself.
`All I want is a chance. A chance to make this work.` - Carol whispered after a beat. Tears started to appear in her grey eyes and she wiped them gently with the back of her hand. She was even more vulnerable and desperate than earlier this evening. It seemed as if her own life depended on Therese's response. Raw emotions were showing through her, she could no longer act strong like she did after being interrupted by Jack. She wasn't able to pretend that she was fine anymore. And she didn't want to pretend anymore. Not in front of Therese. Therese needed to know how broken and messed up her life was, how much she needed Therese and how much she had sacrificed. And finally, how profound her love was for Therese.
Therese stood up and walked towards Carol. Now she was the stronger one. The roles have changed. Everything comes full circle. She put her hands on Carol's shoulders, squeezed them tightly, leaned in and whispered in her ear 'MY angel, flung out of space`.
It was dawn.