The Change

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

AN: This plot belongs to Niwasae and was formally known as, 'To be blunt, sarcastic and psychotic'. And with her permission, I've decided to give this story a shot. Now, for those of you who read the original, they'll be changes.

Warning: Language, that could put Hidan to shame. Shounen ai. Sakura Bashing.

Pairings: ItaNaru. One-sided SasuNaru, One-sided manyNaru

Chapter 1

Naruto leaned against the table, ignoring what was going on around him until he heard the name of his rival being called, hoping against hope that he wouldn't be placed on the same team as him and that Barbie girl. "Team 7: Uchiha Sasuke." Crossing his fingers, the blond prayed. "Haruno Sakura." A squeal was issued and Naruto prayed harder. "...Uzumaki Naruto."

"Hn." Sasuke grunted at the names of his teammates, slanting a glare towards the female whose squeals grated on his last nerves. 'And she calls Yamanaka a pig. Pot calling the kettle black.' He rolled his eyes, glancing towards the blond whose mouth was slack, eyes wide. 'Hm, interesting reaction. I thought he'd be jumping around like a buffoon after being put into the same team as that witch.'

Green eyes glared at the teacher. "Iruka-sensei!" Sakura yelled, "Why did you put that idiot on the same team as Sasuke-kun and I? We don't need that moron. He'll only slow us down."

Naruto turned and glared at the female, which surprised several people. "Shut the fuck up, Pepto!" he hissed, resembling an enraged kitten, blue eyes turned towards his teacher in disbelief. "Why did you put me on the same team as them?" The slender blond rose from his seat, the anger waves rolling off of him had Akamaru whimpering in fear. "I did not become the dead-last so that I could be stuck with the walking Pepto-Bismol Ad and the duck-butt-emo-king as my fucking teammates! I became the dead last so I wouldn't be stuck with them for the rest of my genin life!"

The class was silent after the Uzumaki's eruption. Shikamau buried his face into his arms, suppressing the laugh that was threatening to burst free. Shino adjusted his glasses, the quirk to his lips going unnoticed. The two of them were the closest to Naruto, thus knew how the boy really was. "Who are you calling a walking Pepto-Bismol Ad?" A voice yelled, causing all eyes to turn towards the source, already knowing who it was.

Naruto turned, sneering at the female. "Are you deaf?" The blond shivered, "Kami, just looking at you makes me sick. Ugh, isn't Pepto-Bismol suppose to be a laxative?" He placed a hand over his mouth, looking away from the female. Just the mere sight of the pink haired female made him want to hurl his breakfast. 'Damn, this sucks!'

"Pepto-Bismol only treats minor upsets in the digestive system. It's not a laxative." Shikamaru stated, removing his face from his arms as he directed a lazy glance towards his friend. Naruto turned his attention towards his friend and smiled.

Iruka held up a hand, "Alright." He stated, glancing towards the blond, "Now Naruto. It's not like you're going to be stuck with them forever. It's only for a couple of months, just until the chunin exams." He stated, trying to placate his volatile student. Like Shikamaru and Shino, he was well aware of his students true personality and knew just how much he will clash with his teammates, Sakura especially.

Naruto turned and directed a petulant glare towards the academy instructor, "Don't try to sympathize with me Iruka-sensei. You're not the one that's going to be stuck with them, I am! Besides, you need to be recommended to be in the chunin exam. Our sensei could be some kind of lazy pervert, who reads porn and comes to every single fucking meeting late only teach us nothing!" The blond nearly screamed his rage.

Iruka sweat dropped, hiding his clipboard behind his back. 'It's a good thing I didn't tell him the name of his teacher. I know he'll recognize the name and be able to connect the dots. That damn Anko had to go and make my job a lot harder.'

Seeing his reaction Shikamaru and Shino shared a look before turning their attention towards their vertically challenged friend. who was taking deep breaths trying to calm his nerves. 'I don't know who to feel more sorry for, Naruto or his teammates.' They thought in unison.

"Moving on. Team 8: Aburame Shino, Hyuga Hinata and Inuzuka Kiba. Team 9 is still in rotation which leaves Team 10: Akimichi Chouji, Nara Shikamaru and Yamanaka Ino. These are the teams for as long as you are genins, and for some of you, these might even be together when you're chunins as well, so get along with each other." Iruka glanced towards the fuming blond, "Or try to at the very least."

Three hours later

Naruto crossed his arms, eyes narrowed to slits as he glared at the door. "Who the fuck is our sensei? He's so fucking late! I'm going to kill him." He hissed, hands uncrossing as they lowered to his holster. "Fucking shit. I knew we'd be stuck with a late son of a bitch. I wonder if our sensei is a porn loving lazy pervert who won't teach us anything useful at all, as well. His already got a check for late, times a hundred."

Sasuke turned his attention towards the blond. 'I wonder what's going on with him. He's acting a lot different then he normally does. Or was the previous personality a facade and this person is the real Uzumaki Naruto. A petite foul mouth boy whose looks surpassed even the most prettiest girl.'

"Shut up Naruto-baka. No one wants to hear your mouth." The pink haired girl screamed, sounding worse then any holler monkey Naruto had ever heard, and his heard many, being close to the man who summons monkey, he has met a lot of different breeds, and right now, Sakura could give them a run for their money. "Right Sasuke-kun." she batted her eyelashes towards the silent Uchiha, whose lips curled downwards in disgust.

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Hey Pepto, you've got something in your eyes." The blond cooed, "You look quite ridiculous by the way." The blue eyed boy mimicked her by fluttering his eyelashes at Sasuke, whose blush went unnoticed by both of his teammates. "And it feels weird."

Sakura growled at the blond, "Shut up, you baka!" she screamed, stomping her foot and glaring at the feminine looking boy. "You're so stupid! And I don't look ridiculous, right Sasuke-kun? You like me, don't you?"

Sasuke grunted, "Be quite Sakura."

"Oh yes, he really likes you Pepto." Naruto grinned sadistically, turning away from the female to face the door. "Where the fuck is our retarded sensei?" His question went unanswered, not that he was expecting one. Blue eyes narrowed as he sensed a chakra source heading in their general direction. 'Finally decided to show did you.' He reached into his holster and pulled out several shuriken. As soon as the door opened, Naruto released the projectile.

Kakashi quickly stepped out of the class and slid the door shut, hearing several thunking sounds as the metal weapons were embedded within the wooden surface of the door. 'Hm, interesting. I didn't even sense that attack until it was almost too late.' Sliding the door open, he peeked inside the room. "Before I'm maimed, I just have one thing to say. Meet me on the roof!" with that said, he vanished just in time to avoid a new wave of shuriken being aimed at him.

On the roof

Kakashi glanced towards his students, "Alright, let's start with introductions Tell your teammates and I your likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams for the future." he stated, bored, pulling out an orange book from his pouch. Unaware of the glare he was being given.

Naruto shook his head. 'My predictions for a sensei were all true. He was lazy, perverted with a porn book and not to mention beyond late. I swear this madao better teach me something, or he can say goodbye to all of those stupid books he so loves.'

"Can you show us how it's done, sensei?" Sakura questioned, trying and failing to look cute.

Gagging, Naruto turned his attention towards his female teammate, "Gag me, pepto!" he rolled his eyes in dismay, "How hard can it be to name your likes, dislikes, hobbies and your dreams for the future. Do you really need an example?"

Sakura growled, glaring at the pretty blond, but before she could begin her tirade, Kakashi interrupted much to Sasuke's happiness, he didn't think he'd be able to keep his composure if she began yelling in his ears. Really did the bitch not know how irritating her voice is. "My name is Hatake Kakashi. My likes and dislikes are none of your business. And I have a few hobbies."

"I can't believe the Hokage gave us an ero for a sensei. And not just any ero, he gave us one who has no sense of time."

Kakashi looked offended at the comment, "I'm not an ero." he defended, clutching his orange book. "I'm not!" he declared when he received a deadpanned look from his blond student.

"Oh yeah, then what are you?" he glanced towards the book before returning his stare towards the man in question. "Ah, I get it. You must be depraved, is that why you're reading porn, because you can't get any? Che, then all you are is a (ma)tomo ni (da)karetakunai (o)toko - a man no one wants to date, in short, a madao." Naruto sighed, shaking his head.

Kakashi twitched, single eye narrowing, "Since you feel like talking so much, why don't you introduce yourself."

"Whatever. My name is Uzumaki Naruto. For the past 3 fucking years I pretended to be a stupid idiot to get the reputation of 'dead-last' all so I didn't have to be stuck with Pepto-Bismol over here and duck ass over there, but as you can see, it backfired, so now I'm stuck with the worse team in the history of existence, and why you ask? Because there is no team. Duck ass thinks that team is spelled with an 'I' and Pepto thinks that the sun shines out of his ass. And you..." Naruto pointed towards the silver haired man, "You lame excuse of a jounin-sensei, all you are is a freaking MADAO!" He practically yelled the last word, before calming down. "Anyways. I like training and my friends. I hate you all, so jump off a fucking bridge and die. My dream is to find a hubby and settle down after a long career of chaos and destruction in the ANBU corps. " Silence rang after Naruto's long introduction. No one knew just what to say after hearing something like that.

"Okay..." Kakashi blinked his eyes. 'Reminder to self, throw out all information about Uzumaki Naruto. He's nothing like the reports say.' "Barbie, you're up next."

Sakura glared at her sensei before switching it to her teammate, "My name is Haruno Sakura, not Barbie, and not Pepto-Bismol, it's Sakura." she yelled. "My likes..." she blushed and glanced towards Sasuke before looking towards the ground. "My dreams for the future..." another pause, a peek towards the dark haired boy before a darker blush covered her cheeks. "As for my hobbies well..." Naruto glanced towards the youngest Uchiha in pity. As for Sasuke, he looked paler then usual, "I dislike Ino-pig, but I HATE Naruto!"

Rolling his eyes, Naruto shrugged his shoulders, "The feeling is very much mutual, Pepto." Sakura screamed and made to lounge at Naruto, but was stopped by Kakashi, who told Sasuke to go.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I have a few likes, many dislikes and what I have isn't a dream but an ambition. I will make it a reality." He narrowed his eyes, "I will kill a certain someone and revive my clan."

Naruto turned towards the older male. 'Hm.' He grinned, opening his mouth to say something but he was interrupted by his new teacher, "Meet me at training ground 29, at 5, for your survival exercise. Oh and before I forget, you might not want to eat anything. You just might throw it up." Kakashi grimaced at the thought, before offering them a smile and vanishing from sight.

"I bet the Madao will be late tomorrow." Naruto stood up, stretching his arms above his head and leaning back, bones cracking causing the blond to moan softly. Unaware of the look being thrown his way courtesy of Sasuke, who had a tinge of red on pale cheeks. "I'll see you two tomorrow." He raised his hands in a lazy wave before jumping off the roof, disappearing before he even touched the ground.

Sasuke shook his head. 'What the hell?'

"Sasuke-kun, do you wanna..."

Before she could even finished her sentence, Sasuke had rejected the offer, with cold indifference as he turned and walked off. Leaving a depressed pinkette on the roof.

The next morning, find Naruto leaving his house dressed in a pair of black pants, with a custom made holster strapped to his left thigh. A formfitting, sleeveless, blood red turtleneck shirt covered his lean torso, snugly, showing off curves that woman would die to possess. On his feet were a pair of black boots and covering his hands were black fingerless gloves with a metal plate covering his knuckles. Around his neck was his forehead protector. Waist length golden colored hair caressed his neck and shoulders, the bangs fell over his forehead, dusting blue eyes.

"Well, I guess I should go and meet my teammates." He mumbled, vanishing from sight, only to reappear near the entrance to training ground 29. "Morning." Was his greeting as he rook in the sight of both of his teammates with a sigh. He really wished he had a better team placement. He would kill them if they made him fail this test.

Sasuke grunted while Sakura turned and glared. "YOU'RE LATE! SENSEI SAID TO MEET HIM HERE AT FIVE, IT'S ALMOST SIX!" she screeched, pointing a finger at the blond.

"No, really, I never would've guessed." He mocked, covering his mouth with a dainty hand, blue eyes wide in shock. Before his face went back to normal, "Way to state the obvious Pepto." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Now if you would kindly close that hole in your face. My peace was disturbed by that monkey you painfully murdered by your screaming."

Sakura went red in the face as she glared at the blond, "I don't scream like a monkey!" She yelled.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and glanced towards the blond in annoyance, wondering why he had to rile the pink haired girl up so early. "I didn't say that you did, Pepto. Don't put words in my mouth." He huffed. "So anyways, who ate breakfast?" He wanted to know who was smart enough to look 'underneath the underneath' as most of Konoha's higher ranked shinobi's are found of saying.

"Kakashi-sensei told us NOT to eat breakfast, baka, so obviously, Sasuke-kun and I didn't eat anything." Sakura hissed crossing her arms over her chest.

Rolling his eyes, Naruto leaned back against the tree and crossed his arms. Blue eyes narrowed as he stared at his teammates, "So if Kakashi told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" Not bothering to wait for a response, he rose a hand, "Don't answer that." Bringing the raised hand to the bridge of his nose, he pinched it in annoyance, glancing towards Sasuke, who grunted. "And that ladies and gentleman is what separates common sense from idiocy." Snorting, the blond grabbed a sealed scroll from his holster and tossed it to Sasuke. "Eat. I will not be stuck with you two for another year just because you were too stupid to eat something before coming to training."

"But Kakashi-sensei..."

Naruto turned his back on the pink haired kunoichi wannabe. "Kakashi said this. Kakashi said that." Rolling his eyes, the blond glanced towards his teammates, "Did it ever cross your mind that Kakashi would most likely be late. He did come three hours late yesterday and more then likely he won't be coming to meet us until the sun is in that sky. He'll probably make an appearance at 10, at the earliest."

Sasuke, seeing the logic in those words, and feeling quite stupid, opened the scroll. "Hn." he glanced at the scroll. There was three columns, each boring a seal. He never seen seals like this before. Glancing at the blond with a raised brow. The blond turned his head, feeling someone staring at him, only to see the dark eyes of his male teammate.

Glancing at the item in his hand, Naruto's lips quirked and he made a gesture. Placing the scroll on the ground, Sasuke bit his fingers hard enough to draw blond, before running it across the seal on the first column. A moment later, a poof sounded, and once the smoke cleared, both Sasuke and Sakura were amazed at the sight before them.

"I had a feeling that you most likely wouldn't listen, so I made extra and packed it away for you two. So eat it. The second column is drinks." with that said, Naruto leaped onto a branch of a tree and leaned against the trunk, eyes closing.

Sasuke glanced at the blond in confusion. He couldn't understand the younger boy. 'What did he pretend to be the dobe of our class? I can tell by just looking at him now, that he's stronger then he lets on, so why pretend to be something you aren't. There has to be more to his reason then what he gave. I bet his two friends, Nara and Aburame knows. Why do I even care? Hn.' he rolled his eyes and took a bit out of the breakfast sandwich. 'This is pretty good.'

Naruto glanced towards the Uchiha with a strange look on his face before it disappeared. Shifting into a more comfortable position, Naruto closed his eyes. He was determined to relax before Kakashi made an appearance.

Tsuzuku

(To be continued)

Again, for those of you whose read the original by Niwasae, then you'd know I've made some changes, but for the most part, I'll try to keep some of her humor. For those of you who hasn't read the original I'd go read it. It's really good.

Pairings is still Itachi and Naruto, I doubt that would change.

Shini-ko