Expect the unexpected is quite possibly the most useless piece of advice I have ever heard. Of course you can't expect the unexpected, because it is unexpected. There are things of course people dream about, like getting a Hogwarts letter, but lets be honest, nobody actually expects it to happen. Which is why I though I hoped and prayed for the day my Hogwarts letter equivalent would stumble upon me, I never expected to be whisked away by a madman with a blue box.
As most teenage girls with an affinity for jeans, convers, and obscure fandom reference t-shirts, I had a bad habit of being entirely nocturnal for the duration of my summer vacation. My mother hated that I referred to the dinners she slaved over as breakfast, and that I considered cereal at 7am to be dinner. It was not a lifestyle she understood in the least, but having already experienced the strange sleeping habits of the teenage beings with my older brother, she was thankfully somewhat accepting of them. Somewhat. Which is why I was awake to hear the strangest whirring sounds outside my window at precisely 4:26am.
I was used to the strange sounds of the surrounding universe during the darkest hours of the night; drunken teenagers yelling nonsense in the hopes of impressing his/her equally noisy comrades, drunken adults giggling at the sheer audacity of being stumbling drunk, and at their age!, the dull clicking of skateboarders navigating their way around our severely pothole ridden street. These were all normal sounds, and yet still at each break of silence I looked out the window, curiosity besting me. Yet this time I did not see groups of highly intoxicated people, or a lone skateboarder, or a car, or anything ordinary like that. Instead, sitting right in the middle of our street, like it had always been there, was a blue police box.
The door opened quickly spilling out a rush of golden light that seemed to be emitting from a very dishevelled stumbling man. He made it a hair's breadth from the sidewalk before collapsing upon himself, the light abruptly going out. I waited for someone to come out of the curious box after him. For someone to bring him back into the box and leave, so I could see how in the world they got there in the first place.
But that didn't happen. Nobody followed and he continued to lie there looking dead. I considered anonymously calling the police and letting them handle it, a madman with a box shouldn't be my problem, but something urged to just go evaluate the situation myself first. I grabbed a pair of shoes from under my bed and headed downstairs. I didn't have to bother being quiet, my parents were used to me wandering the house late at night – usually to the kitchen – but if they heard my shoes on the hardwood they would get suspicious fast. Jumping past the last few steps I decided to leave from the back door so it would sound like I was just going to make a sandwich or something. I opened the door just enough for me to slide through and closed it quietly behind me – the nearly silent click of the lock was deafening in my ears. Shit – I had forgotten about the auto lock my dad had installed, which meant I was locked out. Shit. Shit shit shit. Hopefully I wouldn't get into too much trouble for sneaking out if I ended saving a strange mans life.
As I reached the street I took the opportunity to analyze the great blue box a little more closely. It wasn't on wheels so it must have been dumped, or pushed. But who would leave a police box into the middle of the street. Where would they even get one? They were strictly a British invention that had stopped being made in 1970, so where would there be one in Canada in 2014? Perhaps I could get the man conscious enough to answer a few questions before I called the cops.
Or maybe not. I had been so busy studying the box that I hadn't noticed that the man was gone. I searched around the box and in the surrounding area, but he was just up and gone. He must have gone back in the box. But he looked quite unwell, and besides, he couldn't leave the box in the middle of the street. My dad would have a fit if it was blocking his way to work in the morning. Sighing heavily I walked over to the door and gave it a tentative knock.
I'm not really sure what I expected – but I certainly didn't expect the door to swing open of its own accord. I didn't want to go in and be in such a dark and cramped space with a possibly insane strange man, but the doorway was dark and I couldn't hear any breathing or movement or anything. I was worried that perhaps he had fallen unconscious again.
"H-hello?" I called out. "Are you alright in there"
"Hello. Alright? Yes quite," A British voice called back, followed by a loud, yet somehow distant bang. "Ah, yes, quite all right. Quite all right. Come in, come in. "
"Uhm, no thanks. I rather not. I just wanted to make sure everything was all right and let you know that you can't leave your, uhm, box in the road. It isn't safe and people might get mad in the morning."
"Well we wouldn't want angry humans, would we? They aren't pleasant creatures when they are angered. They start wars and kidnap people, all very not nice."
"Uh yeah, so you'll move your box?"
"I do plan to, but I'll need a little help."
"Should I call a tow truck, or something? I can't get my dad, he hates being woken up at night." He didn't need to know that I had locked my self out.
"NO! No, please don't. It I could only get your help. It will only take a mo'."
"A mo'? Uhm, I rather just call someone for you." He sounded completely mad. I was not getting into a box with a mad man.
Suddenly a glowing face was above me. I let out an embarrassingly loud shriek and fell back onto the road. The boxman stood above me, a headlight shining from his forehead.
"Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you." The man reached a hand forward to help me up. I took the moment to get a good look at him. His hair was floppy all over the place, yet somehow matched with a slightly large chin it worked. His eyes were squinty behind comically large safety goggles. And he was wearing a bowtie. Nobody wears bowties. He looked like a mad scientist.
"You are supposed to take it, I believe." His voice startled me out of my concentration.
"Pardon me?"
"My hand, your supposed to take it so I can help you up. At least I believe that is still the custom. It has been a while since I was last on earth."
"Last on Earth? Where have you been then?"
"No time to explain! I've got to fix the TARDIS! She is being quite moody since our regeneration."
"What?"
"Time and Relative Dimensions in Space," he declared proudly, tapping the side of the box.
"What do you need me to do?"
"Just come here and hold a few things for me."
Seeing no other option I followed him into the pitch black box, cringing in anticipation of the cramped space. But in never happened, we just kept walking until he paused a second, warning, "Mind the steps."
"The steps? How can there be steps?"
"I would have thought you had gotten it by now, she's bigger on the inside. Quite a bit actually. Once we get these lights working again, you'll see."
Once we made it down the five impossible stairs he stopped me and lead my hand to hold come sort of metal object on some sort of desk.
"Hold this here, okay? Don't let it move, even a little bit. You might need both hands." He reached out and moved my other had to cup the object.
"I'm just going to flick some switches over here, okay." His voice was getting farther away. "Now hold onto that handle like you life depends on in, because, quite frankly, it does."
Any protest I might have had stuck in my throat as the handle began to move up and down of its own accord.
"Have you got it still?"
"Uhm." I struggled with the handle, unable to get a grip on it. Finally it seemed to slowdown, as thought it was getting tired, and I was able to hold it in place. "Yah, now I do."
"Okay, get ready!"
Ready? Had I not already done what was expected? Up and down the handle went, not showing signs of slowing this time. I clawed and swatted and grasped at the handle to no avail. A loud whirring noise sounded and the whole box shook.
"HIT THE BUTTON!" He yelled over the awful noise.
"WHAT BUTTON?" I yelled back, more in fear and frustration rather than to be heard.
"THE BIG ONE!"
I freed a hand and slid it over the smooth surface feeling rows of buttons stopping at a button the size of my palm and higher than the rest, it was undoubtedly the button he meant. I lifted my hand and smacked it and the whirring and shaking stopped. I slumped down on the floor, my back to the desk, as the lights came on. I looked around in awe. The room I was in was at least as big as my living room, with hallways leading to god knows where. I was leaning against some kind of power generator that I assumed was the cause of the whirring and shaking. Surrounding the generator was a dash maybe 2 feet wide and filled with buttons and levers and handles and bits of confusing looking machinery.
"What is this place?"
"My space ship." The boxman, who I guess I should now call spaceman, was standing above me, tall and gangly, floppy hair in his eyes and hands behind his back.
"Pardon me?"
He rocked back on his heels, "This is my spaceship. And time machine, but right now mostly just spaceship."
"Why does it look like a police box?"
"Chameleon circuit broke. Since this is the only TARDIS left, I can't get the parts to fix it."
"Couldn't you just go back in time and get the parts?"
"You are taking this quite well, excellent. My next news wont be as difficult to deliver. And Time Travel does not work like that. There are rules."
"How does it work then?
"Well it's wibbley- Wobbley really."
"What news?"
"You are all over the place."
"What news?"
"Well, we are in space, and I can't get you home right now. Not easily or safely at least. So I'm afraid you'll have to come with me. Don't worry, it'll be fun. Battling aliens and all that, who wouldn't have fun?"
"How long would we be gone for?" I asked, not entirely certain risking a kidnapping was worth one of my mom's epically long rants that were usually bookended with tedious bouts of the silent treatment.
"I could have you back in 30 seconds if you wish it."
"It will only take us thirty seconds to travel to the moon?"
"Well, when you have the ability to time travel, anything could take thirty seconds. Anything could take fie seconds."
"But the time travel is broken."
"Well hopefully it wont be for long, I just have to pick up a few bits to fix it."
"But I thought we can't go back in time for bits."
"These bits already exist, they are just, ah, being held by a few aliens. I have to get them back."
"And if that doesn't work?"
"More aliens."
"More?" He seemed so certain.
"There will always be more aliens."
"Right." was all I was able to say. It wasn't what he was saying that made me nervous. It was that he seemed to honestly believe the nonsense he was spewing. I pulledout my phone to call the cops, as I should have in the first place. I wasn't qualified to deal with this level of insanity; or any insanity, really.
I pressed the power on my phone but the screen stayed blank. It couldn't be dead, I had just pulled it from the charger to come down here.
"That wont work out here. And anyway, the long distance bill would be horrific!"
"Sir-"
"I'm the Doctor."
"You're a doctor?" I asked dubiously. Perhaps he thought he was a doctor.
"Ah, not exactly, I just go by Doctor"
"Okay Doctor, where exactly do you think we are?"
"Ah, perhaps you aren't taking this as well as I had before assumed. I can never really tell how people are going to react. I don't think, I know. We are about to land on the Planet of the Ood. They should be able to help. Just take a look." He strode over to the door and flung it open. My pothole-ridden street was no longer there. In its place were stars, millions of stars, and planets, none of which were earth. Somehow we were in space.
I stood up and walked to the door.
"Careful." The Doctor warned.
"We are in space."
"Well not for long, I'm going to have to land in a moment, so if you'll come sit down. The breaks are still a bit dodgy I fear."
"Uh-huh." I walked to the seats in the corner, sat, and buckled myself in all in a daze. "We are in space"
"And now we are on the Planet of the Ood. Ready to go get ready to defeat some bad guys?
"Wait, what?"