I straightened my gun, pointing it right at the unsub as he advanced towards JJ, and she was still scrambling to find her gun. I calculated quickly, the only way to solve this was to fire.

So I did, I fired my gun, and the bullet bit into the unsub's shoulder harshly. Blood immediately started seeping from the wound. But the man kept moving, he kept heading for JJ. The bloodlust in his eyes showed the fact that he would never stop.

So I fired again.

This time he fell backwards and he didn't move again.

When you see the light leave a person's eyes when they die, you feel something die within yourself with them. But that feeling, it's worse when you're the one who pulled the trigger or slid that sword into their stomach or cleaved their head from their shoulders. But what's even worse is when you really don't have any choice. You had to take their life, or they would have done something to hurt you or the ones you love.

As I watched this man's light leave him, I only saw everyone who had ever died from my hands. I didn't see the unsub behind the death, I didn't see the man who would have killed the blonde agent in front of me, all I saw was my brother and father and son.

And suddenly I had stood frozen to the spot for a good three minutes, staring at the life I had just taken.

I forced myself to swallow and look away. I lowered my gun and holstered it.

"Jess?" Someone asked. I looked at Morgan and raised an eyebrow in question.

"You alright? First time?" He asked.

"No, no not at all. Wish it was my last." I answered him before turning around and walking back outside the building.

-

"Thank you. For earlier I mean, he would have killed me and I couldn't find my gun." JJ said plopping down in the seat next to me. I looked up and met her eyes.

"Yeah, your welcome." I replied with a small smile before turning my head again to look out the window at the buildings slipping by underneath us.

"You know you did what you had to right?" She asked leaning forward to meet my eyes.

"Of course. I know. I just can't say that I like it either." I replied, that was all I was going to give her.

"You prefer maiming rather than killing, I get that. But he couldn't be stopped Jess." She replied.

"I know." I frowned, was she going to keep pressing the issue until she was convinced?

"Seriously, you saved my life." She exclaimed, of course she was.

"JJ, I know, you're welcome, I'm not bummed out about it. I promise." I reassured her. But really who was I fooling, of course I was upset about it. It wasn't for me to take a life, and normally I could have stopped him without physical force. Where had all the skills I had prided myself on before joining the BAU gone?

"Ok. I was just making sure." JJ settled back into her seat and I smiled at her antics.

"Ok then." I replied looking back out the window. I watched trees pass underneath us now, green blurs that had once dominated the world, but where now gone from below the plane's belly in a few short seconds.

"Yes you are." JJ's voice made me look up again and raise an eyebrow in my silent inquiry.

"Am what?" I asked.

"Bummed about it." She replied before clearing her throat and standing up.

"I'm here if you need to talk. But until then I'm going to get some sleep." The blonde walked away, and I just sat there open mouthed like an idiot.

Jennifer Jareau had just read me as an open picture book, like usual.