Guilt
Chapter 1
Where am I? Where the bloody hell am I? I have just woken up in a room I have never seen before. It is a similar size to my bedroom, medium size, but small enough for me to see that it is completely empty except for the television in the corner. My head hurts and then I remember something hitting me from behind and I fell to the ground and hit my head, but from there its all blank. The lights are dim, but bright enough for me to see. "Hello, can anybody hear me", I scream. I hear no answer. I start to worry. How did I get here?
My name is Chloe and I am 16 years old. My life is painful to live lately, so many things to think about and solve. Should I do this or that? So many options and if you choose the wrong one your life is screwed up and there are only so many times you can start over again, so many that to a point you can't take it any longer and you start to hurt yourself and get into bad things like drugs. I have been so close to killing myself that it scares me, and boy did I almost tie the knot a hang, hang till my body could not take one more breathe, but there is always something holding me back and I have always wondered exactly what that was. Guilt maybe but that isn't something I need to get into right now.
I look at the television in the room and then look around for a remote. Right next to me I see a long black remote, with a sticker that says press this button with an arrow pointing to a big shiny green button. I pick it up and press it. The television turned on and there on the screen is a doll, a doll with a white face and red targets on its cheeks. "Hello Chloe, I'm jigsaw and I want to play a game with you. You haven't been appreciating your life or anyone else's for that matter. I am going to put you to a test. On your right there is a door, a door that leads you to your test. You have 1 hour to find a key that will open the next door. Behind this door there are 25 babies, 25 babies that you are going to have to cut into to find that key. Only one of the babies has the key inside them. If you fail this task, a gas will be let off, a gas that kills anything living. As soon as you open the door your 1-hour will start, but I am only giving you 10 minutes to open that door, or that hour will start without you. Once you find that key and open the door the gas wont go off, ever. The question is, do you appreciate your life enough to find that key"?
This had to be a joke, one big pathetic joke. 10 minutes to think what I was going to do. I did appreciate my life, but things just go wrong and I cut myself and let all kinds of drugs go into my body. I couldn't help it, when you fall pregnant at 15 and there is no one there to help, abortion was the only choice I had. This was my test, to see if I could kill another baby, another life to waste. It is not only the fact that I was 15 years old; it was that fact that I was raped. Raped by a sick bastard that I trusted.
I started to date this guy in school. He was great. Everyone loved him. His name was Blake and he was one of the most popular guys in the school. Blake was 20 years old; he had to repeat a few years. He moved to our school through term 1, it was cool. Everyone knew him from parties or other schools he attended.
When I first met him we started to flirt straight away. It only took him 2 weeks to ask me to go out to dinner with him. Things were going along great. Our dating went on for days, which turned into weeks and before we knew it, we had been in a strong relationship for 2 months. I loved Blake, and he loved me, well so he kept telling me. I couldn't believe it, I was 15 years old and in love, so early in my life.
One day, when I was at Blake's house, hanging out with him, he told me that he was going to a mate of his party tonight and asked me if I wanted to go. I said yes of course, I'd go anywhere just to spend more time with Blake. None of my friends were going to the party, but I didn't care because Blake was the only person I needed to be there. He picked me up at my house at 7:00pm and drove us to the party. The house was a mansion, and heaps of people were there, I mean hundreds. Blake introduced me to his friend who was holding this party. His name was Ben and he was nice, but horny, but I wasn't that surprised for all boys are horny pretty much 24/7. Blake got us a drink and we danced for a while. Then he gave me a tour of the house, and we found a bedroom. Blake and I started kissing, he then started to take my shirt off, but I pulled away. I told him I wasn't ready to have sex, but I wanted him to be the guy I would loose my virginity to, but just not yet. He said he understood. I then straightened up my shirt. He said to stay in the room and he would be back with a drink. I said okay and sat on the bed waiting for him.
About 10 minutes later Blake came back into the room with 4 guys, one of them was Ben. I asked Blake what was going on and then two of the guys grabbed my arms and pushed me down onto the bed. I screamed but another one of the boys came up to me and covered my mouth with duck tape. Blake walked up to me with Ben and they started to take my clothes off. I tried to kick them but the guys just held me down titer. Soon I was lying on the bed, naked and crying, tears rolling down my face. Blake then took his pants off and raped me. It was horrible. When Blake finished Ben then took off his pants and raped me. And in that hour all 3 boys that I have never seen before raped me, along with Ben and worst of all Blake. They then hit me across my face and told me that if I told anyone they would kill my parents and no one would believe me anyway for there was no proof. They all quickly ran out of the room leaving me there naked, my clothes scattered all around the room and duck tape on my mouth.
It took me weeks to figure out if what happened was true. I was scared of the truth. Once I realized it wasn't a nightmare I was having, I started to hurt myself. I was so upset. I started to stop attending school. My parents kept telling me I changed and they didn't like it, but soon I just cut them out of my life without realizing it. I found a pregnancy test in my bathroom, it was a spare one that my mum just had. I decided to take it, and it turned out that I was pregnant. PREGNANT, I hated the idea of being pregnant at 15, but I was, and I couldn't just ignore. The worst part of this pregnancy was that I had not clue who the father was out of those 5 boys who raped me, and that only scared me more. After a few weeks of knowing I was pregnant I decided to kill my bay, and so there for I had an abortion.
I hope you enjoyed my story. Please review and I should post up the next chapter soon!