A/N Takes place postrent and is AU because Angel's still alive. I do not own RENT. Thanks for reading and please review!
"Mark, are you coming?" Roger yelled.
Mark had never been a huge fan of New Year's Eve. Everybody called it a new beginning, but really, nothing changed. You scribble down a few resolutions because that's what's expected of you, but no one actually really bothers. It's the idea of New Years that everybody liked. But, as Collins used to say, it's an excuse for a party.
"In a minute," Mark called back. He wrapped his scarf around his neck. At least he usually had a good time on New Years. Well, there was the year where Roger refused to leave the loft. Mark had stayed behind with him. When the clock stroke midnight, Roger and Mark were in the middle of a fight.
Slipping into his jacket, Mark followed Roger out of the door. This year they had all decided to have a party in the empty lot next door as a celebration over the fact that Benny wasn't going to evict the homeless from it. Collins was going to bring booze, Maureen would bring food, and maybe someone would bring a boom box. Mark got a funny feeling in his stomach, like he was forgetting something he was supposed to bring.
When they arrived at the lot, there were only 15 or so people there. "Marky poo!" Maureen squealed. She had an empty bottle of wine in one hand and Joanne in the other. Mark wandered over and joined there group. Collins and Angel hadn't dressed up this year.
"Hey, Mark," Collins said. Mark glanced over his shoulder. Roger, having not seen Mimi for a full 24 hours, was busy making out.
"No camera?" Maureen asked in surprise.
"Oh, shit!" Mark said, slapping his forehead with his hand. "I forgot it!"
"You have three minutes until midnight," Joanne warned.
Mark glanced back at the loft. "How could I forget my camera?"
"You better hurry," Collins said. "Two minutes 56 seconds, 55 seconds, 54 seconds..." Mark broke into a run as he reentered the building. He was so forgetful lately. Mark rummaged around. Where the hell had he put his camera? He threw aside a bunch of shirts, no, it wasn't there. Mark flung a few books onto the floor than crawled under his bed. Defeated, he left his room. There it was, sitting innocently, connected to the projector. Angrily Mark ripped it off and raced back to the lot. Music was playing and a few people Mark didn't know were grinding.
"How long?" gasped Mark. He wound up his camera and began to film, zooming in on Angel's laughing face.
"You just made it," Angel said, a bottle of some drink in hand.
"10, 9, 8," Roger began. Mimi grasped him affectionately. Mark looked around at his closest friends, always there for him, just not in the way he needed. Roger had Mimi and Maureen had Joanne and Collins had Angel. It was New Years Eve, and who did Mark have?
"5, 4, 3," everybody yelled. Except Mark, that is. The music seemed distant. He wasn't even sure if it was still playing. Roger turned to him and started to say, "Are you o-"
"HAPPY NEW YEARS, BITCHES!" Collins screamed out as sparklers went off. Forgetting Mark, Roger turned and swept Mimi into a deep passionate kiss. Mark couldn't even see Angel's face because it was being consumed by Collins. He didn't even bother glancing at Maureen.
Mark spun the camera around and centered it on his face. "New Years Resolution: find a girl for next year's first-of-the-year-kiss."
"How about my second kiss?" Maureen asked. She kissed him smack on the lips before whirling around to Collins. Mark grinned as he gave Roger a quick hug. He lived for Maureen's once or twice a year kisses.
It wasn't that he was mad at them. Of all the things in the world Mark loved his friends the most. They were all he had lately. Every moment with them was a gift, because hell, thank God they were still alive.
People were starting to wander off. In all truths, they weren't really having a party here, more just meeting there for midnight. Now that people were good and drunk real parties seemed more thrilling than a lot.
"Let's hit the clubs," Mimi suggested as she slipped an arm around Roger. She stared at him expectantly, and Mark gazed back. Gazed at Roger and Mimi next to Collins, Angel, Joanne, and Maureen. All together, a group, waiting for him to follow them to some unknown club. Mark took a step to follow, and prepared to take another. He wanted to come with them, so badly, but a huge hole was opening in his gut, a voice saying, no, screaming, in his head NO don't go don't follow not yet not time don't go oh god please don't go don't follow not today don't follow them.
"I don't feel well," he whispered. "Go on without me."
"Fuck!" Benny screamed. Mark blinked. Inches away from him a range rover screeched to a stop. Benny climbed out. "Shit, Mark, if you had taken another step I would have run you over."
Suddenly Mark was falling. His feet were rooted to the ground but he was falling. Across the street, Mimi and Roger weren't waiting. Collins and Angel had left. Maureen and Joanne were no where to be seen. Slowly Mark lowered his hand, camera pointed to the ground.
"Benny?" Mark said hesitantly.
"You do this every year," Benny groaned as he surveyed the completely empty lot. "When's it going to stop?"
Cold. Everywhere. It was so cold. "When's what going to stop?"
Benny stared at him, no longer pissed or shocked. Just really, really sad. "You must be freezing," Benny said finally. "Let's get you inside."
"My friends are waiting, I'm not cold," Mark muttered as he tried to push past Benny. He had changed his mind, he was going to go clubbing with them after all.
"Mark," Benny said softly. "They're dead. They've been dead."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Where did all they all go? Roger and Mimi and all of those random people dancing passionately in the lot.
It sounded like he had said these words before, but the pain was still evident. "Angel died a few days before Halloween, a few months before Mimi almost died. Then Mimi died a year or so after that Christmas. Roger followed another two months later. Joanne and Maureen died in car crash, together, maybe two years after that. And Collins died from AIDS a year ago."
Numb. Thank God Mark was in shock. He didn't feel a thing. "How long since Mimi almost..." Mark choked out. He couldn't say that last word.
Benny calculated it out. "About six years," he said finally.
"I've been doing this for...?"
"You did it last year," Benny answered quietly. "And the year before that, when Collins was at NYU. And the year before that, when New Year's Eve came a few weeks after Maureen and Joanne died. That's the first time you started...I don't know...hallucinating..."
Mark collapsed to the ground. Please don't let the shock go away. Please don't let the pain set in. Mark's short term memory hadn't returned yet, and that was okay, as long as the pain stayed away too.
"We should get you home," Benny said as he reached down to help Mark up. "Sarah's been worried sick. She called me to ask where you where. I told her I had an idea and I'd get back to her."
"Who's Sarah?"
"Your fiancé," Benny replied. "I'll drive you over to the apartment you guys live in." Oh God, when had that happened?
Mark stumbled to his feet and reluctantly gripped Benny's arm to stop from falling. "You coming?" Benny asked as he gestured to the Range Rover.
Not yet. Mark stepped to the side so had a clear view of across the street. There they were, his friends, his best friends. All of them, frozen, waiting to find out if he'd join them and go clubbing. Then Angel laughed.
"You don't have to come with us today," she said. "Go with Sarah."
"We sure as hell aren't going anywhere," Mimi added. It wasn't bitter. It was a fact, said with traces of laughter.
"Go no," Roger said quietly. That should have settled the matter, but Mark stood there hesitating. His eyes were glued to the scene. Would he ever see them like this again? Perfect, truly there, so close. Mark stared until Joanne smiled, bowed her head, and said, "Mark--"
Maureen interrupted, "Just go, Pookie! Just because you're not coming with us right now doesn't mean your never going to see us again. Go ahead. You have a life to get back to." Collins just smiled and nodded his head in Benny's direction.
"Mark?" Benny repeated.
"Yeah," Mark replied as he tore his gaze away. "I'm coming."
A/N Yeah...that was corny. And yes, I lied about Angel being alive because I didn't want to give away that Mark was seeing things. Sorry about that. Any kind of review are loved and cherished.