"But Bella, you love me."

"No, Jacob. She loves me."

"Edward, Jacob...doesn't..."

*Mike comes and drapes and arm around Bella's shoulders.*

"Yeah guys just leave her alone! You have to let her go. She loves me."

Bella removes the arm and quickly goes to Edward and Jacob's side.

"WHAT! Mike, get this into your thick skull! I don't love you!"

"Yes you dooo!" Mike whined.

"Dude...just stay out of this." Said Jacob.

"Yeah Mike. You're just my annoying human stalker." Bella said.

"Michael you don't know what you're getting yourself into. We could easily crush you like a bug." Edward said.

"Yeah man, I mean. This is what's going on:

The werewolf and the vampire are both in love with Bella; the human.

Bella is in love with both and is struggling to decide who she wants to be with."

Jake said.

"And then you're the clueless human who has a crush on Bella."

Mike walked up to Edward and stared at him.

"Who. Said. I'm. Human?"

Everyone stood there shocked.

Then they all started laughing.

"Sure Mike! Like you're inhuman!"

For once the three of them were getting on together.

"I'm not human!" Mike whined.

"Then what are you?" Bella asked, trying to control her laughter; failing.

"I'm a were-demented sheep!" Mike said proudly, looking all macho.

Everyone went silent.

"A What?" Jacob asked.

Mike sighed.

"Have you ever seen that film 'Black sheep'?"

(Black sheep is a film about a guy that accidently lets toxins onto the sheep and they go crazy and demented looking and bite people to infect them and stuff...really gross actually.)

They all nodded their heads and talked about their favourite parts.

"Well guys, it seems more than vampire and werewolf movies are true. My dad is human, and he fell in love with a demented sheep. Thus, I was born."

"That's just gross." Bella said and the others just stood there; disgusted.

"It's a really romantic story actually. More romantic than you guy's story or even...Titanic! It all started one day when my dad was walking to the animal sex club..."

*Edward, Bella and Jacob back away slowly, leaving Mike obliviously telling the story while people walk past and stare.*

...

Thought of that randomly. Anyway, sequel will be up soon. It will be the romantic tale of Elliot Newton and Baa Mah Mehp.