Author's Note: Sup, everyone? Okay, this is my first story, so I'm expecting flames, just as long as they're constructive criticism. (Keep in mind that this is a parody).

I decided that enough was enough, and that the Percy Jackson fandom was slowly starting to sink into the depths of Tartarus (actually, no, we've already crashed to the bottom, and Arachne is going to charge us at any minute). After reading "Sapphyre Raven Beaaeutiful Jackson" by Aish Sheva (a wonderful parody you should really check out), I was inspired to write this. I may or may not add a new chapter, since I'm kind of just testing out the waters of at the moment. Enjoy, and only flame if you must.

A/N: Heeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyu guiuuuuyssszs! Im totes SORRY i havent updated in forevvs!1! but my stupid teachers keep telling me I have to stop failing my classes, so i haven't been able to rite in a long time *sad face*. their totall meanies!

BUT IM TOTES BACK NOW!1!

Chappie one

Why hello there! My name is Corrall Mistiee Jackson! I'm about 5'3.4" and I have the most GORGEOUS long, jet black hair, and emerald green eyes! Or are they see green! Hahahahaa, IDK! I'm twelve years old and will be thirteen in twenty-three hours, for minutes, nine seconds, and thirteen milliseconds! CAN U TELL IM EXCITED!

Anyways, the author got bored with describing me, so I'll tell you all about my hard, hard, HARD life, which was really hard.

I grew up in an orphanage until I was two weeks old then I was tossed from foster home to roster home. LIKE LITERALLY. They would toss me from one home to another. Poor me I didn't even cry that's how brave I was back then. After foster home number 4,779,239,221 I ran away. Somehow I managed to run all the way from san Fransisco to New yourk city in only twenty two hours! (I think the author just forgot that I'm supposed to be narrating from the present tense. oh well)

TIME JUMMMMPPPP! (Otherwise known as "as an author I have the attention span of a moth")

I run up the hill, panting like a dog in an oven. Oh no, now my favorite outfit is going to be all sweaty! Stupid monsters! Speaking of wich, hear they come now!

I turn around bravely, holding the Celestial bronze sword I found randomly laying around inn the forest and just magically new was made of Celestial bronze. I raise it above my head bravely.

"Go away, stupid cyclops!" I scream bravely.

"butt I don wannaaaaaa..." He moans.

All of a sudden, I feel so sad for the poor stupid idiot. He was hungry! I remember the last time I was hungry and start to cry.

"Oh why are u sadd?" The syclops askked.

"I'm sooooo sorry that you are hungry, big stupid cyclops man!" I say, trying to stop criing. "Do you wan summ food? I only hav a litle bit, but I can go hungree if it means you can get somthin too eat!" The cyclops nodded hiz ugllee hed. "Yes plz" I gave him a sandwich from my bag, holing bak teers I was sooooooooooooooooooo hungree.

Thank uuu!" the nomster said "iM' goin two go now bye!" he dissappeerred. I wipe a teer away frum my beatiful sea green eyse. you know, the color boys always like.

I turn arounnd and see the bug bluu house I was supposed to go too. Dont aske me how i knew i was suposed to go they're i jus did

suddnely, I feelt relly tired.I layed down against the tree and fell asleep.

teh next thing inew, someone was pikking me up bridall styll and carrying me away .the last thing I thought was howw gracefull i must look

AN Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, wusnt that guhhh-rate! suht up of corse it wuz. rait and reviewwwwwww! (Or Ill kill u in you're slep)

Author's Note: Phew, I'm glad that's over. That was painful to write. Remember to rate and review and all that good stuff. Flames welcome, but remember, THIS IS A PARODY!

Bye lovelies!

~SherlockedWhovian221B