I'm no fool. I see how he watches me when he thinks I don't know. I sense his eyes burning into me when I walk out of the room. I notice the jealous glint he gets in his eye whenever I talk about the other men in my life. The ones I can be seen with. When I'm with him, and even when he's nowhere near me, I feel his love for me. And I will continue to watch as his emotions parade across his face for the world to see, when he thinks no one can tell. Because that is all I can do. I can't acknowledge that yes, maybe I do feel the same way. I can't let him know that I've memorized every aspect of his face. That I can still feel his hand on my wrist when he handed me that ice pack. I can't even hug him, or be close to him. I can't do any of this, can never do any of this, because every man I've ever openly loved has died. And every time, it was my fault. It's dangerous to love me – it sounds like some kind of a challenge or contest. See if you can love this woman and stay alive at the same time! But now, I know it can't be done. I hurt the people closest to me. That's why I don't flirt with him anymore. That's why I never imply that I have feelings for him, never touch him more than I have to. Because I am so afraid, so utterly terrified that if I even acknowledge these emotions, he'll die. And I can't lose him. He's my rock, the only one I can trust in this crazy world of lies and deceit I inhabit. He keeps me grounded, keeps me going. He gives me something to live for. So I will continue to watch him, to feel him, to see him. Because that is all I can do.







**This was really short, just a sort of ramble through Sydney's thoughts. Sorry its so angsty! Anyway, as usual, please review! Tell me what you liked and didn't like. By the way, I'm looking for a good beta, so if anyone knows one or is interested, please let me know! Thanks! And I promise I'll update Never Forget very soon.**