The Boy With The Thorn In His Side
A/N: So, the idea came to my while listening to The Smiths' song of the same title and well, basically, the lyrics remind me of Johnny in not-so-subtle ways. Enjoy. Or don't. Johnny belongs to J. Vasquez. The Boy With The Thorn In His Side belongs to The Smiths and should be shortened to T.B.W.T.T.I.H.S. it would be quicker.
Johnny sat up. Lying there had become tedious. He needed to relax without sleeping. His body ached in a way so intense he had no clue as to how to treat himself. He was obviously longing for sleep but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He turned on the television knowing it was late enough, or early enough depending on how you saw it, to catch something half-way good on. Music videos? The Smiths? Better than The Real World, he supposed.
The boy with the thorn in his side
Behind the hatred there lies
A murderous desire…
Yeah, he knew how that felt. He felt that constantly, not just physically but really down into his core he could feel the pain that humanity had always caused him.
…for love.
Well, maybe not. Then again, he'd killed people for more than just the grief they had caused him. There had been all of the people he'd immortalized mentally.
How can they look into my eyes,
And still they don't believe me?
How can they hear me say those words,
Still they don't believe me?
No one would ever really get it. They would always act as though he was so pathetic. The people, who laughed, called him names. The definitely never believed him. Never believed he would kill them. They would never have guessed that he'd kill them. No, he was a skinny little fag to them. Well, fuck them. Fuck all of them, and they'll fucking pay.
The boy with the thorn in his side
Behind the hatred there lies
A plundering desire for love
A plundering desire? Would he go to the ends of the Earth? Would he flip every rock, destroying everything in his path until he got what he wanted? Maybe he felt too much like the boy in this song. It was just a song. With a cheesy video, too. It was obvious that he had very little in common with the aforementioned boy, but he just couldn't help himself. He couldn't help but connect with the boy, how stupid.
How can they see the Love in our eyes,
And still they don't believe us?
And after all this time
They don't want to believe us
He wouldn't believe them either. Whoever 'they' were. What was love, anyway? A chemical reaction? Adrenaline and hormones? How long could 'love' last? Maybe he was bitter or something at not being loved or loving anybody but he doubted that. Why would he want that love? He had everything he needed right there in his home: his weapons, his art and his CD player. Fuck everything else. Sure, he probably wouldn't be saying that later when hunger would creep up on him, forcing him to leave his home to find sustenance, but still, for the moment, he was content with what he had.
And if they don't believe us now
Will they ever believe us?
No. No, they never will. And why should they?
And when you want to Live
How do you start?
Where do you go?
Who do you need to know?
What the fuck did that shit mean? 'When you want to live'? You were always living, the only thing that makes you stop living is death. You don't start living, you don't need to go somewhere special and you sure as shit did not need to know anyone special.
As the video ended, Johnny lost his patience and threw the nearest object at his TV. But whatever. Who the fuck needed TV anyways? He only used it to watch trash, and besides, if he really wanted a new one, he'd find a new one. In the mean time, he was content. Fuck that song, fuck music videos, fuck The Smiths, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. He lost his contentment.
Leaving his house, he ignored the car sitting in his driveway and walked for hours, that goddamned song stuck in his head.
A/N: Johnny's opinions in no way, shape or form reflect my own. I love The Smiths and this song. Um...yeah, I might do more songfics, but I'm not sure, depends on the feedback I get for this one. Thanks for reading.