Just a little idea I had- please do tell me what you think! I will hopefully update once a week with an entry, probably sundays :) -Sophie x
19.9.14
Dear Diary,
I was flicking through one of the mental health leaflets in Charlie's office the other day, and read that writing down your thoughts and feelings is meant to help relieve stress and worry. If this works, I'll be a best-selling authoress in no time.
I've been the clinical lead here in the ED for a month now, and things are really starting to get to me. I hate to admit it, I really do, but this job is much harder than what I expected. I don't know how Zoe coped for so long, I really don't. I mean, I did want the job, once upon a time, but by the time I got the chance to take it, the appeal had worn off. Guy urged me to take it though. He said my name in a voice full of warning when Zoe resigned that day, and how could I say no after that? I'd have been embarrassed in front of not one, but two colleagues, and that was very, very off limits.
Each day I have to wake up at 5am in order to make myself look presentable, have breakfast, get to the ED and finish paperwork, all before my shift starts at 7am. People wonder why I snap at them so often, hah, I'd like to see them have a stab at my job for a while! The doctors and nurses here have it so easy. Back in the US, they were reprimanded for the slightest thing. Here they can get away with murder.
Almost literally actually. I heard about Tess' mistake with her patient earlier in the year, and how Fletch covered for her. Neither of them were fired for it, despite the fact it broke about 15 rules.
Another thing that's starting to eat away at me is the fact that my staff don't seem to like me in the slightest. Robyn took a shine to me on my first day back, but soon went off me when I started to "show my true colours" as I've heard a few say. Zoe hates the sight of me, and the rest of the staff hate the way I've apparently treated her, so they're cold with me too. Apart from Cal, who I'm guessing is sweet on me.
Hah, he has no chance.
I'm planning a trip to St Steven's hospital for next month too, which is adding to the stress of this horrible position. By visiting a failing hospital and "offering them advice", we can apply for more funding for the ED. We desperately need more sheets, and a couple more members of staff too.
I think that's all for now. The leaflet said to only write when I was stressed or worried, so I don't know when our next meeting will be.
How the hell do you end a diary entry? Yours? Lots of love?
For now, let's have until next time?
Connie.