And So, The Clock Struck Twelve
Six O'Clock
New Years Eve: 6.00pm
Hermione Granger
"This is a ridiculous idea, how could you even suggest I would wish to be in attendance of such a ridiculous event, let alone accept the notion of such a horrific idea?" Hermione Granger scoffed loudly. "A New Years Eve party?"
"It's perfectly normal, Hermione." Harry Potter replied casually, as he always did.
"Ginny would love for you to attend. You know how excited she is about this."
"I'm aware of that Harry," Hermione replied hesitantly. "However I have much work to see to at the office, there are several meetings for me to attend in the morning, I just do not have the time to waste at a party I'm afraid."
"It's a party, Hermione. When has that ever been a waste?" He asked.
There was an uncomfortable silence between the pair, the last party the pair had been in attendance of was Hermione and Ron's wedding, that had not ended well at all. In fact Ron had the audacity to leave her standing at the altar – alone. She had been heartbroken upon hearing the news that he could not bring himself to marry her, let alone continue in a relationship with her, this information of course had come from Harry who on behalf of his best friend was asked to pass this message along. She could still, to this day barely look him in the eyes, knowing he had been the bear of such horrible news.
Hermione had been left entirely alone on her wedding day sobbing at the altar while all hell broke loose around her, the guests unsure of how to precede, Ron's mother screaming at him outside the small church to "do the right thing." It had been the last party she had ever planned to be in attendance of, she could not handle that heartbreak again, she could not even come to look at the man she once called her best friend. It had broken her inside; leaving a ripped torn and bloody wound that reopened each and every night upon walking into the apartment they had shared for the better part of four years. An apartment he had long left, his presence almost lingering, small reminders of the life they had shared still remaining.
She would find herself staring at the broken television, her attempt at introducing Ron to some form of Muggle life; however it had lasted not even the better half of ten minutes. She found herself staring at the empty balcony which overlooked the busy and bustling Diagon Alley, the roses long wilted and dying. She could not bare to walk upon it's surface any longer, it only reminded her of the place in which he had proposed to her two New Years Eve's ago. She had long removed the paintings from the walls, the photos in their frames now replaced with photos of her travels with Harry and Ron, most of the photos favouring an angle in which Ron was behind the camera. Some would say that there was barely a single item in the apartment that could remind anyone of Ron.
However, according to Hermione Granger they were wrong. If you looked carefully, you would notice small items that lay scattered about the house, books upon the vast bookshelves that were once his. Two copies of nearly every textbook that Hermione and Ron combined had used during their schooling. There were also several books upon the shelves containing "interesting" trivia and statistics based upon the Chudley Cannons. His favourite Quidditch Team. There were still items of clothes that lay at the back of the large wardrobe that had once been his, that in his haste to leave that evening he had left behind, abandoning, in an effort to avoid Hermione. Yet even after almost a year and a half these items remained.
Part of her was still attached to these items, part of her could not let go of the life she thought she would live and had lived. She still found herself silently sobbing to herself as she lay awake in the early hours of the morning, entirely alone in the large bed that had once been theirs. "Theirs" was a concept almost foreign to her now, everything they had once shared was now hers, even the items he had carelessly abandoned leaving behind as though he did not require them in his new life. A life that consisted primarily of the company of Lavender Brown. He had moved on, she had been left behind. Unable to let go of the life she would give anything to have once again. The life that she could never forget or allow to slip away, yet somehow, for some reason that had never been explained to her, it had.
Life was not fair; Hermione had learnt this the hard way. They were in fact the words Ronald Weasley had the boldness to tell her one evening in which she ran into him in the elevator at the Ministry. Of course they were not entirely alone, and of course their outburst had been witnessed by many others including the Assistant to the Minister of Magic whose sole job seemed to consist of eavesdropping. Needless to say it was a very uncomfortable elevator ride to the fifth floor once the screaming was over, the tears cascading helplessly down her cheeks as she struggled to compose herself before a meeting with the last person in the world she wished to be meeting in a state such as that – Draco Malfoy.
Throughout the meeting he stared at her, as though he had never seen someone crying before in his life. His grey-blue eyes staring into hers, as though they could see into her very soul, giving meaning to the saying that one's eyes are the window to their soul. After making it through several pages of the proposed changes in the Muggle Protection Act she was forced to excuse herself, before her silent tears became heaving sobs. He too knew of the situation she was in, in fact he was present at the wedding. Most of their year level at Hogwarts had been, aside from several of the ex-Slytherin students who had found themselves in legal trouble shortly after leaving school, Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy Parkinson all of whom had been caught attempting to bring about the third wizarding world war. Of course their attempts had been foiled easily, none of the three or any of their accomplices being intelligent enough to realise that they were each being followed.
Draco, surprisingly had not defended his once friends. In fact his role within the Ministry was to preside over many of the hearings, often arguing on behalf of the Ministry of Magic, some would almost say in the Muggle world his job lay somewhere between a lawyer and a district attorney. However, he shared this role with several others, yet his opinion had become highly sought after and respected. Despite his faults he had become a respected member of the public once again, he and his Father had not spoken in years, a fact that was well known by anyone who read the Daily Prophet, their latest falling out involving Draco's sentencing of his former friends, which his father deemed too soft. Hermione often wondered what it would be like living in such a situation. Despite the troubles in her life her parents still remained as major part of her life as ever.
Harry had also become the only person outside of work that she ever took the time to see. Most of the time this contact involved being forced into attending a horrendously cooked meal with Ginny, Harry and their son James who managed to throw most of the food about the room rather than eating it. He was nearing his second birthday; Ginny was pregnant with their second child and was due rather soon. She was positively convinced that she would be having a girl, who if she did they would name Lily Luna Potter. Hermione had heard this several times over during these dinners, however Teddy never seemed to grow tired of them, in fact he saw Harry, Ginny and James as family, eating dinner with them most nights. Andromeda Tonks allowed her grandson to do so, allowing him to get to know the man who had been appointed his godfather.
Teddy was already six years old, he had definitely taken after his mother, preferring to keep his hair blue most of the time. But when it was not it was a mousy brown, similar to that of his fathers, when looking at him you could see the similarities between him and his parents. Despite his abilities to change his appearance there was always some form of aspect that remained with him. Although he accepted that they had died he often wanted to hear stories of what they had been like, it was difficult to speak of them both when he asked Hermione. She became tongue tied, as though any mention of the people who had died in an attempt to bring justice into the world once again tore into her heart, dredging up memories of those that had also been lost in the struggle. She seemed to be more greatly affected by this than any other. As though her emotional sensor was switched onto sensitive overdrive.
It seemed as though everything affected her more strongly emotionally than it seemed to any other. Crookshanks had passed away days before Christmas, once again ripping open the walls that kept the emotions she attempted to force into the back of her mind where they should – out of sight. She had spent her entire Christmas alone, unable to face anyone that day of all days. Yet, slowly time had crept by allowing her to leave the sanctuary of her apartment and creep back into society as though she had never left for those few days. Yet she had not even made it to her office before being cornered by Harry, who was already attempting to force her to rejoin those in society who still managed to find the spirit to be merry and happy on such occasions. Hermione however was not. She wore a set of black robes that mirrored that of something someone would be found wearing at a funeral. She had not worn anything remotely colourful since the wedding.
At the time it seemed as though everything was perfect in her life, yet in a matter of minutes everything had fallen apart. Ron had removed everything that was his from the apartment they called their own, realising that perhaps he had never loved her at all. He had never loved her at all. Yet that did nothing to explain the countless times he had professed to love her, it did nothing to explain the moments they had shared together or the nights spent in each others embrace. Everything that her life had been seemed to revolve around Ron, where Ron was, what Ron was doing. It was as though now she had become the lost sheep, and there was not a shepherd in sight. All the plans they had made together, the life they had planned to live, they had planned to marry, to have two children, to travel and see the world again. Yet none of that was possible any longer. That future had vanished from within her sight in only milliseconds, where as it had taken years to build.
Her trust, her love, her life – gone. It took only moments for a life to come crashing down, only a few worlds to bring one to theirs knees with the realisation they had been living under the impression of a lie. She swallowed uncomfortably as Harry continued to speak about how much this would mean to Ginny, of course those words were key in trying to get Hermione to go anywhere. She was under a large amount of stress the final months of the pregnancy beginning to creep upon her, causing her to feel as though she was underprepared and of course she had begun to panic about small details such as the colour of the babies new room, she wanted a pale yellow, however somehow she thought that seeing as she was certain the child was to be a girl it should be significantly more feminine, purple being the colour of her concern.
"Fine, I'll come." Hermione said finally giving in not wishing to cause any more stress to Ginny.
"Wonderful, at least I will not have to stand up your date for you." Harry replied with a chuckle.
"Date!" Hermione replied quickly. "I can't. I don't want a date. I'll just ruin it for them."
"Hermione, my dear. You were requested by this lovely gentleman who over the course of the past few weeks has become increasingly concerned about you. Apparently you are becoming rather recluse, spending countless and shockingly large amounts of time within your office." He said carefully. "If it helps it is not Ron, he does not have red hair, he is intelligent and I'm sure he will be a suitable date for such an occasion."
"How would he know what hours I am spending in my office?" She cried. "Is he following me? Did you put him up to this?"
"Alas, the ignorance of the female gender. No I have not asked anyone to follow you, yet it has crossed my mind several times. If you have failed to notice, your office is on the second floor. This particular gentleman clearly prefers to take the stairs rather than the elevator, and your office does have an awfully large window." He said. "I can assure you his concern for you is genuine."
Hermione sighed, she had forgotten about the window which overlooked the large atrium and grand staircase which had been installed after the removal of the barbaric statue installed during the Death Eater's reign at the Ministry. She was rather fortunate to be in possession of such a large and beautiful office which overlooked the beautiful golden fountain and all those walking about the atrium. She found it somewhat soothing, and calming. Yet she had never stopped to think that perhaps the window being open was allowing people to see into her life, allowing them to catch a glimpse of the heartbroken woman behind the large wooden desk whose soul love became her work, the passion in which she poured into her job replacing that of the man she once loved.
It seemed as though everything about her life had become her work, and she supposed that anyone who walked past that window could see that. They would see her on the days in which she stayed overnight, going over proposed amendments several hundred times changing small and almost insignificant details no other would notice to avoid going home. The place she did not want to be, she would much rather spend her nights sleeplessly to avoid remaining awake all night in a place that only reminded her of the past, yet at the same time she could not bring herself to move. She could not bring herself to leave the place she called home. Everything she ever knew was connected to that building, everything she loved somehow managed to be kept from within its walls, as though it were barren of all love. It would never grow there again.
"Ginny expects you to be at the house in half an hour. She has a dress for you to wear." Harry noted quickly looking down at his watch, the same watch that had once been Fabian Prewets. "She was awfully excited about this evening and may have slightly gone overboard, but please, I beg you, as a friend go along with it. I don't think more tears are needed today. She was absolutely heartbroken when I mentioned perhaps you might have been busy."
"Is it that bad?" Hermione asked softly, imagining her friend crying about something that simple.
"At times, you know she is lonely. I have to be at work at all hours of the day, Luna is currently gallivanting about Europe with Rolf, Ginny actually suspects he may propose to her this evening."
"Really?" Hermione asked her tone dull and rather emotionless, despite the happiness such an event would cause. Rolf truly was every bit as eccentric as Luna.
"Hermione, just because it happened to you, does not mean that it will happen to everyone. It's time you moved on and accepted that he's not going to come blazing into your life once again."
"I never expected him to!" Hermione retorted. "For your information, I have an awful lot to deal with at the current time, I should be allowed time to slowly pull my life together without my best friend sticking his nose in wherever possible!"
Harry looked rather affronted as she made this statement, "I do not. However I believe that holding onto the past as your have for such a prolonged period of time is unhealthy. Clearly, just look at how much of your life seems to revolve around avoiding others."
"It does not!" Hermione cried. "What gives you that impression?"
"Hermione," Harry said seriously. "It's six hours to midnight and you are just arriving at work. Clearly you arrive later to avoid seeing anyone, you have been doing this for months. I think you will be surprised that your date this evening also happens to be somewhat of a workaholic. I believe you will actually like him quite a lot, he is rather interesting."
"Who is it?" Hermione asked.
"That is my secret to keep, and your surprise to be had." Harry replied cryptically. "Trust me, he is attending at Ginny's request, she came into work the other evening and quite clearly in her madness invited him. No doubt feeling sorry for him and the large amount of work he seems to always have piled upon his desk. However at least some good has come out of this situation and I can and shall once again assure you that he is a good person. Trust me on this, I work with him quite frequently and he strikes me as the sort of person you will get along with quite well."
"Harry, I don't think I am ready to attend parties let alone be set up on a blind date at one. It just seems as though it implies that I have moved on entirely and I haven't yet. Part of me wants to hold onto the past."
"It's just a date, it's not as though we're asking you to marry him… Yet." Harry added laughing. "Look at the time, I better run. You better get moving Ginny will be getting anxious; you only have ten minutes until you are officially late to your dressing and official New Years Eve date preparations. You know what she is like; if you are late she may just have to kill you."
"I'll leave now." I said. "I was not required today; I was just coming in to get on top of all the paper work early before the hearing next week."
"Well I suggest you get moving, I think you'll agree with me that at the moment Ginny would rather sooner rather than later. Trust me Hermione, you shall have fun tonight. It's all been planned to the finest of details, and just look at it this way, most of those in attendance will have forgotten about the wedding. They will just be glad to see you are finally back out and about again. It will be a good chance for you to see them all; much has changed in a year and a half. You'll be surprised trust me."
Hermione was unsure whether she was in the mood for any surprises, particularly seeing a crowd similar to that of her wedding, she knew that this would be another occasion which called for a Hogwarts-style reunion. Many of the students in her year coming back from all corners of the globe to partake in various events, so far this year she had managed to avoid several. She had received several invitations including numerous weddings, a Dumbledore's Army reunion and of course the one reunion she feared above all others - The Gryffindor House reunion. Any excuse would do to avoid being in such a close proximity to the man that has so easily and readily broken her heart as though it were made of wax and not soft fleshy tissue. He seemed to be so easily unaffected by his choices, as though picking up the pieces of his life came easily. To Hermione Granger it did not.
"I trust you." She replied to one of the few people she managed to trust in the past year, many others she would not dream of opening her heart to.
She watched in silence as Harry walked along the corridor quickly, towards the elevator which lay at the end of the dark corridor. Clearly this detour had a purpose, she should have guessed. He was one of the privileged few who could apparate directly into their offices. Most Aurrors could strictly for security purposes which had been heightened in light of the war, despite being long over the aftermath continued. Hermione doubted it would end, even in this life or the next. For centuries the pain and suffering caused would be remembered. The families torn needlessly apart, the loved ones that would be forever lost due to their sacrifices. Those people, children such as Teddy Lupin orphaned by the war. He would never know his parents, he and Harry were more alike than anyone could ever have predicted.
Hermione quickly locked her office door once again. She was going to be late the way she was going, however it seemed as though a change of clothes would not be necessary. Nor would any preparation be required as it seemed as though Ginny was looking to eliminate any possible reason for which she could be late, or avoid arriving at all. She moved swiftly down the large staircase and to the nearest fireplace, grabbing a handful of Floo Powder from within her pocket. She through it into the fire which was already crackling away merrily, watching as the flames erupted into a sea of emerald green flickering out around her. She carefully ducked her head and stepped into the fireplace, carefully remembering the address so not to arrive at the wrong location.
"Number Twelve Grimmuld Place." She said quietly so that nobody nearby could hear, yet at the same time it was clear enough for her to be transported effectively.
She burst out the other end of the nearby fireplace in the blink of an eye, the distance between the two buildings was rather short, she could have walked. But to preserve what little time she had left she decided it would be best if she used the Floo Network. It was precisely six thirty as she stepped from within the grand marble fireplace at Number Twelve Grimmuld Place, Ginny was standing on edge just meters away, one hand on her growing stomach. She wore a simple red dress that complimented her long red hair which was pulled into an elegant red bun. As she turned to greet Hermione a red blur shot between them colliding with a nearby wall.
"James how many times do I have to tell you!" She cried in a voice that was reminiscent of Molly Weasley. "I have told you not to ride your broomstick in the house! Do you ever listen?" She said pulling out her wand and summoning the broomstick which lay upon the ground beside James into her hand.
"Mum!" He cried in a shrill voice. "Give it back!"
"No, darling." She said softly to him. "Teddy?" She called seconds later.
Hermione watched as Teddy appeared in the doorway, his aqua coloured hair clashing quite brilliantly with his red sweater and yellow scarf. He smiled politely at Hermione, waving at her in an attempt to greet her. She simply gave him a shaky smile back as he walked forward and gathered James off the ground in his arms.
"Teddy, would you be a dear and take James into the next room and keep him occupied. I just need to sort something out with Hermione; it should not take all that long. Just call if you have any problems."
"Sure Mrs. Potter." He said politely.
"Call me Ginny, dear." She said with a smile as he walked away carrying James softly in his arms before turning to Hermione. "Hermione how are you? I apologise for that. He received a toy broomstick from Harry for Christmas and I am sure it is the worst idea; I am convinced he shall break something valuable. Harry doesn't seem to mind, however I have different ideas." She said merrily as she swooped in embracing Hermione in her arms.
"Ginny, it's wonderful to see you!" Hermione replied in the most cheerful of voices she could manage. "He certainly has grown!"
"Tell me about it!" She replied happily. "Now come upstairs, I have your dress ready and everything! Your hair might take a little work however I'm sure we can manage something!"
These days, Ginny was invited to more parties than anyone Hermione knew. Most through the Quidditch league however Harry seemed to be invited to just as many through work and it seemed all they ever did was mingle among others at fancy parties and balls. Apparently they had even warranted and invitation to the Malfoy Ball, which of course was known to be the most auspicious occasion of the year. Everyone who was anyone in the wizarding world attended, and clearly Harry and Ginny more than easily fit this description. They had however turned down the invitation in light of Ginny's nearing due date. However this was only speculation, Hermione did not follow the Daily Prophet's gossip column all that closely. She did however notice that the guest list did not include Draco, which seemed rather strange; he was not invited to his own family event.
Ginny grabbed Hermione by the wrist and dragged her upstairs to the bedroom which she and Harry shared. Carefully she pulled a long rather expensive looking gown from within the large wardrobe. Hermione's jaw dropped, there was no way she would be wearing that dress this evening. It was an emerald green colour, the very low neckline decorated with a series of diamantes. Clearly Ginny had not bought this dress for herself; it was far too long even for her, so long in fact that it would only fit Hermione or another as tall as she was. She felt a churning sensation erupt in her stomach, as though even the though of wearing such a revealing, colourful dress was foreign to her, almost exciting.
"I can't wear that!" She cried.
"Of course you can! You don't have to feel bad, I didn't pay for it, I was given it." She said pulled it from within a clear plastic clothes protector. "I thought it would be worth keeping for you. It's one of the newest lines for the summer season. They forgot I wasn't playing this year, they also forgot I was pregnant. Which in their eyes equals a dress that would never fit or look good on me so they told me to keep it."
"It's far too low! Look at the plunging neckline, my goodness!" She cried. "There is nothing on the back plus I have no shoes or jewellery that will look good with a dress like that!"
"That is where I prepare in the areas in which you fail. I have shoes, jewellery, makeup and anything else we shall need for this grand makeover. Trust in me and by the end of the evening you shall have at least two eligible bachelors hanging off your every word!" She said throwing her arms into the air as though this were the appropriate moment for melodrama. "First your going to put that dress on, you have two minutes, in which I shall return and the rest of the makeover shall begin."
She left the room quickly, her footsteps echoing loudly as she hurried down the stairs, no doubt to check upon James and Teddy. Hermione quickly undressed placing her robes neatly upon the bed before sliding the tight silk dress over her head. After carefully zipping the dress up she realised the dress really left very little to the imagination. It highlighted every bump and every curve as though the sole purpose of the dress was to humiliate her. The door opened suddenly startling her, an impressed Ginny walking through the doors clapping her hands happily, a look of triumph upon her face.
"You look perfect already!" She cried. "Your date will be incredibly pleased; you look perfectly acceptable for an evening out or a ball. I wish we could have attended the Malfoy's Ball." She added sadly. "But it's just too difficult at the moment, we really can't risk all that much."
She moved forward, forcing Hermione to take a seat in front of the large mirror and wooden table laden with various types of makeup and assorted potions. She carefully worked her hands through Hermione's hair, twirling and pinning sections back as though this was something she did each day. There was a certain ease to the way in which she handled Hermione's hair, as though she naturally excelled at it. Hermione did not look up; she did not want to see what was becoming of the thick mess she was so accustomed to. She did not want to see herself looking at all half decent for human company. It only reminded her of the effort that she had placed into her appearance for the wedding, and in the end it inevitably did very little to help her, her makeup ending up smeared across her cheeks within minutes of hearing that dreadful news.
"Well your hair is done." Ginny noted. "You can look you know. It is not all that terrible."
"I would prefer to see the end product." Hermione replied quickly attempting to avoid the topic.
"Whatever you wish." She replied beginning to apply a thin layer of foundation to Hermione's smooth pale face.
After minutes of poking prodding, eye opening, eye closing and all sorts of other strange and seemingly unnecessary facial expressions Ginny deemed Hermione ready for the party stepping away from the mirror completely allowing Hermione to catch a glimpse of her reflection in its entirety. She could not help but gasp, her reflection, how it had changed! She no longer seemed to carry the dark circles beneath her eyes that seemed to tell the world she still carried those memories from her failed relationship close to her heart, the telltale sign that she had not moved on. The sleepless nights, the tears and the pain she felt visible for the world to see. Despite her efforts to minimise such visible signs of how her personal life failed while her academic and professional life excelled. Her drawn features and pale complexion the signs of everything she was, everything she had and everything she had to lose, which in her eyes amounted to almost nothing.
However, many would disagree. Hermione Granger was anything short of nothing; her success in the academic world had not gone unnoticed, twice had she been asked to join the Wizenagamot, twice had she denied this honour. Her professional life was almost as impressive, twice had she been voted among Witch Weekly's Most Successful People of the Year. Twice had she been awarded the Most Successful Person Award. There was no denying that almost everything Hermione Granger decided to do she excelled at, all apart from her personal life. It was the one tarnish on her perfect life, the one aspect she could never, and suspected would never get right. How it hurt her to think that she was so close to achieving that balance. So close and yet it had slipped right through her fingers.
She spluttered as she glanced at her reflection, the perfection of her appearance and how it changed the way she seemed to hold herself. The woman in the mirror appeared confident, were as on the inside, she was slowly dying. On the outside she seemed beautiful if not almost perfect, were as her mask hid a life of imperfection, lonely nights spent crying herself to sleep. It was as though the simple makeup and dress had pulled together the remnants of her once life, drawing them together neatly to form the illusion of perfection. Hermione knew that the person in the mirror was a lie, it had been long since she had appeared anything like the woman staring back at her, years even. It was as though the person she had become accustomed to had gone on vacation, she would return. Hermione slowly stood, unable to tear her eyes away from the image before her. Her thin body began to shake, tears welling up in her eyes as she realised the woman staring back at her was long gone.
"Don't cry… It'll ruin the makeup." Ginny whispered softly hugging her friend gently.
"I can't help it!" Hermione cried, her voice sounded strangled. "This is too much."
"Perhaps it is what you need. Perhaps too much is the cure you are after." Ginny replied wiping a tear from Hermione's eye gently. "Sometimes we need to let go. Personally, I believe you are ready to let go. You've held on far too long."
"I don't want to forget."
"Who ever said you had to forget? No, you never have to forget. But you do need to move on, you need to move on and be happy. Perhaps you will never forget, perhaps you will be reminded of everything everyday for the rest of your life. But perhaps it will be in a good way, perhaps you'll hold onto those memories with love, but the future will shadow them. One day you'll wake up and realise that everything is alright again."
"How do you know that it will?" Hermione asked.
"I've seen a lot of suffering in my time, but I've also seen people survive it. Hermione you can survive this, now it might seem like all you want to do is cry, but trust me, you can pull through. The grass is always greener on the other side."
"I hope you're right." Hermione whispered pulling a tall pair of black stilettos onto her feet. "Because at the moment it seems as though everything I touch falls to pieces."
"I doubt that. Now run along, your date is here. We shall meet you at the hall, please don't mess this up. Actually ensure he makes it to the hall." She said shooing Hermione quickly from the room with several sweeping motions. "Have fun and don't forget to smile!"
"I'll try." Hermione whispered pushing her back against the cool wooden exterior of the now closed door; her breathing had become irregular and unsteady.
As she pressed her body against the door the memories only seemed to come flooding back. The last person whom she had dated was Ron; she had not expected that to change, not ever in all honesty. Now that the time had come she felt more unprepared than she could have ever imagined. Almost as though she had been thrown into this headfirst without any form of warning. However that was quite untrue in a sense, she had of course been given several options to back out of this ridiculous plan. To avoid the New Year's Eve festivities with one of her many social-event dodging excuses, the one's that she had perfected in mere weeks of her change in lifestyle. At first there was only so many excuses that could be made, drinks after work she could avoid. However in time she learnt to avoid those who asked her to attend such events, she learnt to work later in the day to avoid all contact.
In her time practicing these skills she had made three rules, to which she attempted to abide by at all times, mostly in an effort to avoid such pain again. The first being to avoid unnecessary contact, this mostly extended to those who did not know any better. Her second rule consisted of not allowing anyone into her life, perhaps this was the reason that the prospect of dating left her feeling ill to the stomach, it was a rule just dangling there – waiting to be broken. Her last rule was simple, and she had never gone as far as to even step closely to that line, it was the most simple of all, more of a promise than a rule, a promise to never love another as she had Ron. Of course even she had her doubts as to how long this would last; even she could not tell whether she would feel that pain, that barely bearable pain in her heart, as if it had been torn neatly into two. It seemed as though at the time she had promised herself that she would never love again, and in her opinion that was only fair.
But of course if fairness where ever going to come blazing into her life, surely an appropriate time had come and gone already. Had there not been several moments in the past two years of her life that would have signalled a return of balance in her life. For one, why would Ron propose if he planned to run the second he could? Why would he bother telling her that he loved her? That he would never leave her and would always ensure that no harm would ever befall her? Why would he lie? Of course, even if he had of told her days before the wedding that it would be in their best interests to call it off she would have been hurt, however there was a distinct difference between calling it off and leaving his fiancée upon the altar alone. Neither was preferable, however, Hermione knew deep down that the first would have avoiding much of the mess that had resulted. It would have also managed to save her the embarrassment she felt until this very day when in public. That knowledge that the general community had gained on her personal life, there was very little for her to hide behind now.
She pulled herself away from the door, wandering once again over to the mirror to glance at the woman she would be if only for an evening. Everything about the woman who was her reflection screamed confidence and beauty. When on the inside this illusion could never fit. There was nothing confident about Hermione, or so she thought. There was nothing naturally beautiful about her appearance, there never had been. The plunging neckline of the dress, flecked with perfectly place diamantes was the work of master. Hours of work had been placed into this dress. A dress which Ginny had clearly been lying about, she was tall, but certainly not as tall as Hermione. Perhaps, she thought, this is the world's way of forcing me to move on. Perhaps this is what I must do, even if I must pretend to be happy even if it is for only an evening. She stood up straight, and turned, she would not even show this much skin at the beach! She doubted it was at all appropriate for party such as this.
She diverted her eyes to the door where Ginny stood smiling at her, her smile shone with the confidence and love that she felt for her friend. The woman so close to becoming her sister-in-law. The person she called her best female friend. There was more than a simple plot behind this plan, there was a carefully constructed plot which would either make or break Hermione, and at the current moment she was betting on it being another breaking situation. Hermione felt for the first time a strange pang of hope deep within her chest, almost as though part of her wished for this to be a successful evening. However strongly her heart objected to this desire, she could feel its existence in her every bone, almost as though she too had been pushed to the edge of no return. Almost as though she had been denying herself of the desire to move on for many more months than necessary. It was true, Ron was still alive. She had not lost him in an unforseen, terrible accident. He was still very much alive and living. She however may as well have lost him; any stranger looking into her life may have assumed she had lost someone close. However, she was grieving but for an entirely different purpose.
"If you really don't want to do this is, it's perfectly alright to back out now." Ginny whispered unsurely.
It was the most unsure words Hermione had heard Ginny Potter whisper, she was the most confident person Hermione knew. There had never been a moment of uncertainty for the girl. However now Hermione could see it, almost as though it had been there the entire time since the ending of the war. An uncertainty based upon fear, that fear that you would lose another loved one, that you could drive those you loved so dearly away from you. Ginny had taken Fred's death terribly; there was no denying the fact that every Weasley had. They had lost one of the most vital parts of their clan, George having lost his other half, his twin. Hermione had seen him on numerous occasions; however he lacked that air of confidence which he held while in the presence of his twin, that air that nothing could defeat them. However, it had. George was alone in the world separated from his twin; there was no denying that fact. Sure, he had moved on in life, married with a child but there was something missing in his once carefree smile, his exuberant attitude towards life those were the things that Hermione missed.
There were many things about the old days which Hermione missed dearly, however nothing could bring them back. Nothing could bring back the years spent in happiness, those years in which the bleak and dark times which had shredded her hopes and dreams so easily would never have seemed to exist. A time in which she merely fantasised about one day marrying Ron and perhaps having two children, whom despite their arguments they would name Rose and Hugo. Those were the days in which nothing was serious other than saving the world all over again. However it was Harry leading Hermione and Ron into these situations, and still to this very day he did so, however as a paid profession. Some hinted that he would rise to Head of the Aurror department within the next few years. Hermione suspected that this would in fact come to pass; there was indeed no other who could perform such a task with such confidence and strength. Harry even at eighteen was a far superior Aurror to even those who had been within the profession for years.
It only made sense that he would be made head of the department some day. However, that day drew nearer and nearer, as did the future and there was no end or happiness in sight for her. Everyone else was able to build themselves lives, yet all she had built herself was a shattered heart. How in the name of Merlin was that fair? Why was it she who had to suffer alone in silence? From that very moment Hermione Granger made herself another promise, she would not live alone in sadness or fear any longer. She would live once again. She stood up straight, pushing her shoulders back carefully taking several steps to avoid slipping in the shoes which Ginny had handed her. Taking a deep breath she walked forwards, exiting the room closing the door behind her, and by so doing locking the old, sad Hermione Granger away from sight forever. Never to return or show her face in society again. For the first time in quite a long time Hermione Granger felt free of burden, as though the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders for a brief time allowing her to live. That was all she could focus upon, that feeling that the weight had gone, she was free of it.
She placed a single hand upon the staircase rail for support as she descended the stairs. At the foot of the stairs she could hear giggling, James was laughing quite loudly about something. Hermione quickly moved down the stairs to find none other than Draco Malfoy pulling faces at James. He looked so at ease with the young boy, almost as though he had entertained countless children in such a way before. However, Hermione struggled to remember a time that the younger Draco Malfoy even managed to show kindness, let alone a softer side. It seemed as though time too had changed him, softening him. There was something less harsh about the man before her, almost as though his entire exterior had changed also. He certainly had lost the rude and cruel air that surrounded him as a teenager, it had changed. Morphed into something much softer and more human. Almost as though something had humbled him.
But what could humble Draco Malfoy? The boy who bullied younger and older students at school for mere sport humbled? How could that even be possible? I found a gentle smile breaking across my lips as I watched the way in which he talked to James, the way in which any parent would speak to a child. Yet that would make no sense, Draco had no siblings, no children. As far as anyone knew his friends had no children. As far as anyone knew he had little to no social life. Despite all this there was a man she barely recognised before her, even seeing it seemed to wash away the memories of the unpleasant child she once knew. Replaced instead with only this memory and those of the quiet man from work who seemed to spend most of his time in solitude. She could relate with the feeling of wanting to be left alone, that feeling that the world was out to get you. However as much as she tried she saw no reason as to why Draco Malfoy would feel this.
Draco Malfoy was the sole heir to one of the biggest wizarding fortunes the world had ever known. He was among the most celebrated in his profession and was as his father had been a member of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Board. He was one of the most highly influential governors upon the board, able to sway the votes easily as though it came naturally. His girlfriend, Astoria Greengrass was among the most highly celebrated Daily Prophet Columnist of the past century, with a following greater than that of Rita Skeeter. Everyday thousands of witches would seek her advice on all things involving the latest styles. She had even begun her own range of robes and potions last year, to say that she would be every bit as wealthy as Draco would be an understatement. If there was a party worth attending Astoria Greengrass would be among those present. It was difficult to define her, beautiful would be one thing, yet another would be selfish. Everyone, including Hermione knew that she was not the most loyal of partners. Many claiming that she and Draco were in an open relationship, however it was more open for her.
Hermione imagined, upon opening the Daily Prophet in the morning I would see yet another photo of her, engaged in some outrageous, scandalous stunt. This would not be the first, second, third or even the last. She was one of the most highly talked about individuals in England; many young witches envied her, mainly for her beauty, but others for her relationship with Draco. Hermione could not see how Draco put up with her behaviour; she frequently disappeared off the face of the earth, sometimes for months at a time. Draco at one point vanished with her; however both returned five months later with a tan, more happy and publicly in love than ever. Hermione secretly envied their love. Clearly it could withstand almost anything. Ginny and Harry, too were the same. Their love seemed to survive almost everything, Hermione envied that hers could not. Perhaps envy was not the correct emotion, perhaps jealously and anger were appropriate. She felt as though she had been cheated out of the life she had always wanted, the life she felt was hers. Clearly it was not, perhaps she would always feel this way, and perhaps she wouldn't. But for now, she would live in the present, hoping that she would never look back to the past that hung on her to be grieved.
She swallowed her fear and entered the large living room. "Draco." She said kindly, forcing a pleasant smile as he turned to face her.
"Hermione…" He whispered, his face loosing all emotion in an instant. "You look… You look so…different."
"Thank you… I guess. You look…great." I replied, it seemed as though both Draco and Hermione seemed to be lacking some form of social order.
"Well, isn't this lovely." Ginny said pleasantly entering the room. "It's so wonderful that you agreed to this arrangement Draco. Isn't it just, Hermione?
"Yes it is." Hermione replied. "What time shall we be expecting you at the party?"
"Oh, Harry is running a little late and he has to take Teddy and James to Andromeda's. I suspect we'll arrive soon after you do." She replied straightening her dress with her hands.
"Why are we going to be late?"
"The traffic is horrific." Draco said, finally speaking. "I struggled to make it here on time, considering the traffic is so terrible it would be a bit of a stretch making it there on time."
"Should we leave now then?" She asked.
"We're just waiting for my car… They had an errand to run and are running a little behind schedule."
"That's perfectly fine." She replied happily, more forced than real. "I'm sure, there's plenty to discuss while we wait."
"How's work been?" He asked suddenly. "Have they passed the Muggle Protection Act?"
"I suspect that they will in several days. It's on the top of the agenda for the new year, so I'm hoping it will bring about some order in the world for the New Year."
"That's good; you worked so hard on it. It will bring about a much needed change."
"I hope it shall." She replied with a real smile, her work the only joy left in her life.
Hermione looked up, realising that everyone else other than Draco and herself had vacated the room. Leaving them entirely alone. It had been such a long time since she had been alone with another male that was not Harry. There was something almost soothing about Draco's presence; Hermione did not feel entirely uncomfortable in his presence at the very least. In fact part of her wished he would hold her tightly to his chest and tell her everything would be alright. A strange desire, but a desire none the less. She wished that day she had walked crying silently into his office that he reached over the desk and took her hand in his and told her that everything would be alright. If not Draco, she wished someone would. She wished that she did not fall to the ground sobbing uncontrollably out of site with no-one left to comfort her. She wished there was someone, anyone that would run after her hold her tightly in her arms and pull her through the never ending nightmare that was her life.
Yet, as usual that help never came. She was left to manage life alone, left to pick up the pieces that she could never place back together in their once perfect arrangement. She would have given anything to have someone tell her everything would be okay. Anything at all. The gap between Draco and herself had drawn even smaller. Almost as though each of them was slowly edging towards the other. Hermione, for the life of her could not fathom the meaning of this. She could barely think at all. For a moment part of her screamed at every muscle in her body to close the space even further but she could not allow it. She could barely allow herself the luxury of hope, let alone entertain a thought that she and Draco may have shared some form of contact. She looked into his eyes, which seemed to almost be transfixed upon hers. He seemed as though he was struggling to say something but could not quite bring words to what it was that he had to say. Hermione looked upwards; hanging ever so slyly above them was a leftover branch of mistletoe.
"Mistletoe…" She whispered.
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do…" He whispered, but not moving away, not moving closer either.
"It's harmless." She replied softly, however she was unsure exactly how harmless a kiss could be.
"Close your eyes." He whispered.
"Why?" She asked numbly.
"Just do it." He replied almost tiredly.
She did as she was told, although once she would have defied anything he said to her, now was not the moment for such childish behaviour. She closed her eyes lightly, afraid to smudge her makeup. She could feel him closing the gap between them, slowly, carefully as though he wished to cause her any excess pain. For seconds it seemed as though he was going to stop, unable to go through with such an act. She did not blame him; she doubted Astoria would be pleased to know of this event under the mistletoe. As she was about to open her eyes she felt his lips upon hers. Gentle and soft at first, the gentle brushing of his lips against hers but it intensified slightly as his hands wrapped around her bare back, exposed by the dress. Part of her felt alive once again, as though his touch had ignited a fire deep within her. The fire did not cease as his lips left hers and she opened her eyes. He looked rather shocked, as though he found something he was not expecting from the harmless kiss.
"Hermione… I'm sorry…" He whispered quickly as though he was ashamed of his actions.
"It's alright it was a harmless kiss. Nothing." She replied, knowing she was lying to herself in saying this.
Their silence was broken by a loud whistle from the hall. Teddy was standing within the hall, a smirk upon his face that reminded Hermione so magnificently of Tonks. "Hey Ginny!" He called running along the hallway.
"Yes?" Came her voice from the kitchen.
"You'll never guess what I just saw!" He called as he ran towards the kitchen.
"No!" Hermione and Draco called out in unison but moving quickly towards the door. They both stopped. Turning to look at one another in amazement, perhaps even a little confused as to what had just happened.
Moments later a very smug looking Ginny appeared once again in the doorway, her hands resting upon her pregnant stomach. "Well, well. I leave you alone for five minutes and you seemed to have skipped the idle chit-chat and jumped straight into a bit of snogging. Hermione, I can't say that I blame you, you've been alone for so long!"
"Ginny, please, it was nothing like that. The mistletoe… It its fault." Hermione said, struggling to find words herself now, instead everything she said came out as a blur of confused words.
"Sure it is. By the end of the night you'll be blaming the wine!" She said laughing before glancing out the window. "Draco it would seem as though your car just arrived. Try to behave yourselves on the way there will you?" She asked.
"I'm sure we will." Hermione said walking from the living room. "I'll see you there. Thank you for everything." She whispered in her friends ear as she hugged her gently.
Draco thanked Ginny politely also, walking towards the door and opened it, holding it open for Hermione. For a brief moment as she took Draco's arm and stepped out on the street she forget everything that had once defined her, the sadness, the broken heartedness that seemed at times to consume her. She forgot the pain she felt each time she looked in the mirror or glanced out over her balcony. There were those emotions which had hung, tightly knotted in her chest but as she stepped out onto the snow covered sidewalk the knots vanished for the first time in almost a year and she could breathe again. She had forgotten everything it meant to be Hermione Granger and all she knew at that very moment was there were now six hours, three-hundred and sixty minutes, twenty-one thousand and six hundred seconds until the clock struck midnight. For now it seemed as though she would be spending those six hours within the company of Draco Malfoy. Things were about to change…
And so, the clock struck seven.