There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye
And now I know how far you'd go.
Jack couldn't help the tears that built up in his eyes as he watched her on the stand. She sat there so confidently, glaring at the prosecutor as he tried to tangle her in her own words. She had even called him an idiot once when he repeated one of his questions, hoping to make her contradict an earlier statement. Jack had smiled at that one, suddenly realizing how much he had missed her fire.
Bill had called him two days before to warn him that Chloe was being called as a witness by the prosecution. At first he had wanted to raise hell, to tell the court that they didn't need to drag her through the mud to make their case. But Bill had calmed him down, explaining that Chloe wanted to do this, that she wanted to do whatever she could to help him.
But that wasn't everything that Bill had told him. It had been almost a year since they had spoken, and a lot had happened. Haltingly, his voice thick with emotion, the former CTU director recounted to him all that Chloe had been through in the past eleven months.
As he watched her testify, Bill's words came back to him, echoing hauntingly in his head. Morris had left her without a word two months after they found out she was pregnant. He had called her a week later to tell her that he wasn't ready to be a father, and that it would be best if she didn't try to find him.
Three weeks after that she lost the baby. Karen and Nadia had done their best to comfort her and keep her from sinking into depression. But according to Bill, Chloe had just brushed them off, coming back to work almost immediately and never mentioning it again.
She had lost her husband and her baby, and yet she was still there, doing everything she could to save him. Jack marveled at her strength, at the way she refused to abandon him, even after she had lost everything.
888888888888888888
"And what did he do to the suspect, Mrs. O'Brian?" the prosecutor asked.
"It's Ms. In case you've forgotten, I'm recently divorced."
The lawyer turned and gave the panel of judges a pained look. "Your honors…?"
"Just answer the question, Ms. O'Brian," one of them instructed her.
"If he wants me to answer questions, he should at least be able to get my name right," she scowled.
"Ms. O'Brian," the prosecutor said loudly, putting emphasis on the prefix. "What did Agent Bauer do to the suspect?"
Chloe glared at him for a long moment before answering. "Who are you?" she asked angrily. "Who are you to judge him? Have you ever stopped a nuclear bomb from going off and killing half of California? Have you ever had to go on the run? Have you ever been kidnapped by a foreign government and tortured for eighteen months because of the things you did to save this country? No? I didn't think so. So don't stand there and judge Jack Bauer when you're not even half the man he is."
The courtroom fell into stunned silence, and Jack had to work hard to keep from laughing out loud. No matter what she had been through, Chloe was still Chloe.
88888888888888888888
I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go
As he continued to watch her, he began to see the little things that had changed since he last saw her. Her dark hair was longer, sweeping below her shoulders. There was a tiredness in her eyes that hadn't been so pronounced before, and a slump to her shoulders that said she expected others to fail her, for hardships to come her way. Jack knew that in the past few years, Chloe O'Brian had seen more than her fair share of trials and tribulations.
Cursing himself, he remembered the last day they had seen each other. He had been so consumed with his family drama and rescuing Audrey, that he had barely spared her a second thought. Even on that beach, as he prepared himself to walk away from that life, Chloe hadn't crossed his mind. It wasn't until later – much later – that he realized he hadn't even said goodbye. Once again he had just walked away, leaving her to clean up his mess.
The questioning finally ended, and Chloe was allowed to step down from the stand. He tried to catch her eye as she walked past him, but she kept her gaze locked on the floor. He couldn't blame her – she had already done more for him than he ever could have asked for. Sighing, he tried to focus on the next witness.
8888888888888888888888
I will be all that you want
And get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life
I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay
"Chloe!"
Jack caught sight of her in the crowded hall outside of the courtroom, and tried to get her attention. She didn't even turn her head as he called her name, and he found himself wondering if she hadn't heard him, or if she was simply trying to ignore him. Pushing through the people around him, he fought his way over to her.
"Chloe."
When she still didn't turn, Jack took a hold of her arm and forced her to face him. He was shocked to see the tears in her eyes, the obvious pain etched across her face. Letting go of her arm, he reached up and cupped her face.
"Chloe…" he whispered.
Closing her eyes, she jerked away from him, taking a step back. When she opened them again, the hurt was still in his eyes, his hand still raised between them.
"Don't," she said, her voice shaking.
"Chloe, please. I just want to thank you. You didn't have –"
"Stop," she whispered, her emotion choking her. "Please, Jack. I can't do this."
"Can't do what?"
"This. Us. I can't do it anymore, Jack. I can't get used to seeing you again so that you can run off to God knows where. I just…I can't lose you again."
"Chloe –"
"No." She took another step back. "I'm sorry, Jack."
He watched her turn and walk away, her figure quickly getting swallowed by the crowd as she disappeared.
8888888888888888888
I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe
'Cause you're here with me
Later that night, he sat in his car, parked across the street from her house. He knew that she wanted him to leave her alone, but he couldn't help it – he just couldn't let things go between them.
Even now, the pain in her eyes tore at his heart, and guilt washed over him in waves. He had asked too much of her, had taken everything she offered and never gave anything in return. A little voice in the back of his head told him that he didn't deserve her – that he never had – and that he should turn the car around and go home.
But still he couldn't leave. Memories played over and over again in his head. He remembered the first time she told him she trusted him, and the warmth that had flooded him. He remembered the first time she went out into the field, the desperation in her voice as she told him that a man with a gun was coming after them, and the relief that flooded through him when he heard her voice on the phone again, telling him that she was okay. He remembered the crippling fear that had struck him when she told him that people were hunting her down, and the way he had wanted to cry in relief when she threw herself into his arms. He remembered the smile that overtook his mouth when he saw her after his release from China – she was the first thing he had smiled about in almost two years.
As he continued to stare at her house, snow softly falling from the sky, Jack was amazed at just how much Chloe had gone through for him in the past few years. He was suddenly hit with the realization that she was the best thing to have happened to him in a long time, and he had done nothing but take her for granted. He had left California in the hopes of starting over, of leaving his government service in the past where it belonged. But now he knew that he had left behind one of the most important things in his life, and the pain that caused him was almost unbearable.
8888888888888888888888
And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
'Cause I will never let you go
Jack couldn't stand it anymore. He knew that she didn't want to see him, that she had basically told him that she didn't want to see him ever again. But after everything she had done for him, and all the hell that she had been through in the past year, he couldn't just walk away again.
Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself and got out of the car. As the snow swirled all around him, he made his way to her front door, his heart hammering in his chest.
88888888888888888888888
I will be all that you want
And get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life
I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay
She didn't answer the first three times he knocked. He tried to stay calm, telling himself that she was asleep or in the shower, and that she would be down any second. But as the seconds rolled into minutes, Jack started to realize that she wasn't coming down.
He refused to give up. Lifting his hand again, he pounded on her door, causing it to shake with the force.
"Chloe!" he called. "Chloe!" Still no answer. "Please, Chloe – just let me in! I need to talk to you. Please! I swear, I'll just say my piece and leave, but I HAVE to talk to you! I'll stand out here all night if I have to, Chloe! Just please come open the door!"
8888888888888888888888888
'Cause without you I can't sleep
I'm not gonna ever let you leave
You're all I've got
You're all I want
Yeah
And without you
I don't know what I'd do
I could never ever live a day without you
Here with me
Do you see
You're all I need
When she finally opened the door, Jack took an involuntary step back, the pain on her face so much more than what she had let him see at the court house. His heart breaking, he opened his mouth to speak, but Chloe beat him to it.
"What do you want?" she asked, her voice breaking and tears falling from her eyes. "What more can I possibly give to you? You already have everything, Jack. I've got nothing left."
His own tears were falling then, but he ignored them. Instead, he took her face in his hands, forcing her to keep her eyes on him.
"I am so sorry," he told her, his own voice gruff. "I have done more to hurt you than anyone else, and I am truly sorry for that. But I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere." When she didn't say anything, he kept going. "I have missed you so much, Chloe. The only thing I've really learned since leaving California is that I can't do this without you. I don't just need you to do my job, I need you to live. I know that I abandoned you, that I left you without even so much as a goodbye. And I'm sorry, Chloe. I am so, so sorry. But please…don't shut me out now. It's my turn to be there for you, to help you. Please, let me do that. Let me be the friend I never was…let me be a part of your life. Let me prove how much you mean to me…let me prove how much…how much I love you. Give me the chance to make you love me too –"
Her tears still falling, Chloe lifted her hand, placing her fingers over his mouth to stop him from saying anything more. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath.
"I already do," she whispered. "Can't you see that, Jack? I already do."
88888888888888888888888
And I will be all that you want
And get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life
I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay
I will be all that you want
And get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life
I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay
He tightened his hold on her face, leaning his forehead against hers.
"I love you," he whispered raggedly. "I love you, Chloe. Please…don't make me leave. Don't shut me out."
Then, the snow still falling all around them, she broke. The tears came in a torrent, her shoulders shaking with the force of her sobs. Without any hesitation, Jack wrapped his arms around her, dragging her body to him and holding her as tightly as he could. Running his fingers through her hair, he gently lowered them both to the ground and pulled her into his lap, rocking her back and forth.
"It's okay, Chloe," he whispered in her ear. "It'll be okay. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave, or disappear…I'm yours. God, Chloe, I'm yours, baby. I promise."
She clung to him like she promised she would never do, and it felt like coming home. Drinking in his words, she breathed him in, finally letting herself hope that maybe, this time, she wouldn't have to let him go again.