Pain of Betrayal
By: Whil-o-whisp
Pairing: HitsugayaxKarin
Disclaimers: I do not own Bleach, that belongs to Tite Kubo
Rating: K+-T
Hinamori-fukutaicho… such a formal name for somebody so fragile. She had been in and out of the hospital facilities almost weekly since the incident, and had not even spoken a word, staying in a semi-comatose state. Nobody had even been able to see her. One word could set off an emotional outburst that could rival fellow gotei member Ikkaku Madarame during his bouts. Ever since the betrayal, she'd been so wrapped up in her own depression to think of anything, much less her childhood friend and fellow gotei thirteen members, or maybe just one member in particular.
Hitsugaya Toshiro sighed, letting his mind wander as he signed the abysmal papers he had been sent from the Seireitei. Matsumoto Rangiku, his lieutenant, had long since left her station at the much larger pile of likewise paperwork. She'd claim to need to take a break nearly five hours ago, and at the time had only mentioned a five-minute break. Toshiro's brow furrowed at thought of his blissfully unprepared lieutenant. She'd always flaked off her paperwork, but nowadays it was bordering on ridiculous.
So wrapped up in his paperwork and thoughts he was that the knock on the door nearly went unnoticed. Orihime Inoue however noticed it, and, upon making sure her embroidery would not unravel while she was away, quickly and quietly crept to the door, careful not to disturb the shinigami captain at work. She carefully unlocked the door, making sure that her roommate would not hear it, and pulled the door softly open. It creaked loudly, bringing Toshiro's attention to the door.
Orihime almost verbally cursed herself. He had been so engrossed in his paperwork that she had not wanted to rouse him. However, the deed was done, no sense trying now. She peered around the door to see Kurosaki Karin, Kurosaki Ichigo's little sister. Now Karin and Ichigo looked nothing alike, their hair only being one part. Karin was dark haired, a pale face accentuating her ethereal appearance while Ichigo was a redhead, his hair more like the color of an orange than anything else and skin a golden brown.
"Ohaiyo, Orihime-chan, is Toshiro-kun home?" The younger woman asked sweetly, her usual 'I-don't-care' attitude diminished by the thought of upsetting the older woman. Orihime smiled as only Orihime can, nodding. "He's sort of working on something right now so…" she drawled slightly, stringing out her syllables to bide for time. She hadn't been expecting this. Karin had never come over before; save for when Ichigo would send her to ask for homework, and then, the young captain had not been a resident there.
"It's okay, I'll just bug him until he can't do his work. May I come in?" Karin asked sweetly, tilting her black haired head. She admired Orihime, in looks and personality. Orihime was a goddess, strawberry orange hair, and kind eyes that made one just want to feel at home, and the breasts to turn any guys eyes away from a cheerleader at the super bowl. Orihime was tough too, she had the nerve to hang out with one of the biggest bullies in school but the clueless-ness to not get why people thought this was strange. Well, as the sayings go, Ignorance is bliss.
"Um, of course, I'll make you some lima bean and ice-cream sandwiches!" Orihime announced cheerfully and before Karin could object, was already along on her way, mumbling all the gritty details a lima bean and ice cream sandwich would contain. Karin gave Orihime's back a most incredulous look; as if it had said the name of the nastiest food she had ever heard. "Hm?"
The hum of surprise caught her attention all right, though if that had been its purpose or not was a question. She spun to face the man she had come to visit. She felt her heart flutter almost painfully in her chest, seeing the icy teal eyes staring at her in an almost forlorn way. She smiled helpfully, hoping to make him forget about whatever had made him upset. He simply spun and sat back down on the couch, his papers spreading out beside him once more. Karin rolled her eyes as she stepped on the back of her shoes, pulling them off as she walked inside. The House was plainly decorated, the living room almost abysmally dull. There was only a couch and a coffee table, along with a fireplace shoved into the corner.
Toshiro had situated himself on said couch, his back against the arm and his papers spread around him, half on the coffee table and half either in his lap or on the couch in front of him. His hair and clothes were in shambles, as if he had only just woken up, but a glance at the clock told her that this couldn't have been true. It was nearly seven in the afternoon and Toshiro was punctual, way too punctual in some parts, and always woke up at exactly six in the morning, claiming it was what he always did. Karin had to suppress a grin; she was lucky to wake up before nine, much different from his sleep pattern.
She walked up behind him, wrapping her arms lightly around his lithe form. She settled her chin on his shoulder, watching as he stopped in his paperwork. Her smile seemed to burst from under her façade as he tried to shake her off. She tightened her grasp, knowing she was getting on her friends nerves. Toshiro was a "touch-me-not" type of guy, and the fact that Karin was as well made them highly compatible, unfortunately, the fact that Karin's hobby was pissing people off, threw a slight hitch in their plans.
Karin felt him wriggle from beneath her arms, the sinewy muscles working to free themselves from her tight embrace.
Being a shinigami captain, Toshiro's senses were already intensified by necessity, his hearing, sight, and touch ten fold a normal person's, but since they had already been abnormally high before, only made things worse. He could feel her heartbeat behind him, thudding against her breast and into his back. He could hear her slight giggle as she tried to hold it in. It was not only distracting, but at times intolerable. The fact that he was only a child only made matters worse. His hearing had not been dampened by screams or any of the like and he had not been injured to the point of nerve damage either, so his senses were not damaged like an adults.
His pen spun in his fingers, pale skin dancing over the black wood of the writing utensil, a stark contrast against each other. Her fingers were now playing with the fold of his collar, the usual polo in place over his form. "How long have you been up?" she asked conversationally, knowing full well how uncomfortable she was making her friend. It was too bad she couldn't bring herself to care at this moment. "Since yesterday." He answered evenly, and he felt proud that his mental distress hadn't shown through. "You need to go to bed silly." Karin scolded, finally releasing her captive.
"And why's this?" He asked as she cleared herself a spot across from him. Her eyes scanned the papers boredly, seeing titles such as "mission report" and "requisitions" among the many. 'Its like he's in the army…' she thought cynically, brushing her fingers over the new papers. "Because you're gonna kill yourself if you keep this up. Either that or I'll kill you." She told him as she leafed through a stack of papers. One paper caught her eyes though. It had Hospital written all over it. She skimmed through it.
It was something about a girl by the name of Hinamori, something about her in a comatose state. The paper seemed pilfered, a small rip at the bottom left corner. "Something wrong Toshiro?" she asked bluntly, careful not to stay on one paper too long. Toshiro looked up at her questioningly, his pen faltering over the signature line of a guard patrol paper. She gave him the most innocent look she could muster, as if what she had said had been nothing more than a trivial question. "No, nothings wrong." He grumbled half-heartedly.
"That's a load of crap Toshiro-kun." She told him as she put the papers from the couch and stacked them neatly on the coffee table. He looked at her scornfully, trying to grab his papers back, but only succeeded in exposing the papers he had been covering to her probing hand. She snatched those too up and piled them onto the stack, taking it from his grasp and walking into the kitchen. "Hey!" he shouted after her. This was not how a shinigami captain such as himself should be treated, damnit.
He rose to follow her when she emerged from the kitchen. She grabbed his wrist and walked up the stairs into the room he usually shared with his flake for a lieutenant. The room was almost entirely bare, two futons and a small book case taking up most of the space. A small bathroom shot off from the left, farthest away from the door. Karin only gave herself a moment to feel disgusted that he had to live in such a tight area before spinning her friend around and pushing him back onto his futon. He took a sharp intake of breath, letting it out in a soft grunt as his back hit a mixture of wall and futon covered floor.
"What was that-" he was cut off as she gave him a look that could burn even the ice that he made a façade of. She sat down next to him, laying her ear against his chest. "What's the matter?" she asked softly, letting her own façade drop. She was worried about him. His crisp cool demeanor had been slipping and she had to know why. And if he was not going to tell her of his own free will, she would find out for herself. She could feel the muscles underneath her cheek move as he shrugged, one hand coming up to tangle in ebony locks.
"Its just…" he started, his eyes sliding closed as his head thudded against the wall. His brain was stuck between the fact that he was so stuck in the past he could get himself or others hurt, and the fact that he missed his best friend. "Toshiro… your heart is speeding up…" Karin pointed out, her eyes closed. He looked down at her as she listed to his heartbeat. He felt it thud in his chest as well. "My friend, back in the Seireitei, has been so different lately, I barely know her…" He mumbled sadly and Karin sat up, looking him in the eye. Her eyes searched his, probing for answers to unasked questions. She could see the moisture now clouding the lower half of his teal orbs, collecting and threatening to fall from his lashes. She hated to see him cry, but in a way, it made her feel proud. SHE was the only one who saw Hitsugaya Toshiro cry. Not even his own lieutenant had seen him when he was at his most vulnerable.
"I miss my friend…" he added, closing his eyes tightly in an attempt to stop himself. She sat next to him, pushing her back against the wall as he leaned his shoulder into his. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders comfortingly, pulling him slightly into her lap. He'd never full out cry, no, he was too proud for that. But she'd be there when the trickles of salty tears found their way from his eyes and she'd be there to always comfort him and wipe them away. Hitsugaya Toshiro was strong. Too strong for his own good. Too prideful.
Karin wondered if he even remembered that he was only a child, not an adult. He did all these things that were meant for an adult, and he was strong like an adult, and smart like an adult, but he is a kid. Kids cry, and laugh, and play. Kids don't fight soul eating monsters and their own needs to be kids. They go with it. Toshiro was one big internal conflict. A conflict between his duty as a shinigami and his duty as a child. A conflict between the emotions of a man and the emotions of a child. A conflict between what he is and what he pretends to be.
She felt his breath even out against her as he turned in her grasp, laying on his side, his head resting on her chest. He could hear her even breath, almost lullaby like to his ears now that he could rest. Before it had been a distress signal to his brain, now it was a calming sound. She kissed the top of his head and he looked up at her. She smiled, glad he was feeling at least a small bit better. He gave a small, tired smile before leaning in and pressing his lips against hers, lips forming together like they always do.
As he pulled away, he felt her fingers brush themselves into his icy locks, twirling the silky strands in her pale fingers. He sighed happily, breathing in the scent of pomegranate and a smell that could only be described as Karin. He'd let himself forget for now.
He'd let himself forget about the betrayal he felt towards Hinamori. The betrayal of having felt her sword's tip pressed against his throat, and seeing her hand grasping the hilt. The betrayal of hearing her accuse him of something her own beloved had done. His heart ached as he thought about Hinamori's thousands of betrayals, to him and others alike. He focused his thoughts back into Karin's smell and her heartbeat, hearing it thud against his ear. Yes, he would let himself forget about her. Later he would berate himself for forgetting, but for now he'd allow himself this one moment of peace, rid of the irritant thoughts of paperwork and his lieutenant. Rid of the thoughts of the recent Hollow attacks or the requests of his squad. But most importantly, rid of the pain of betrayal.
Author's note: Hey guys! I've been kinda playing with the idea of creating a series of one shots for this couple, like you guys give me an idea for a one shot and i put it down in words as best as I can. what do you think, if ya like it, please review and help me out. Please and thank yous. Happy new year everyone!