Doors Closed, Eyes Opened

Thor looked to his left.

Then to his right.

Secured his surroundings and checked all the blind angles just like his tutors had taught him. The hallway outside his bedchambers was deserted. No guards, no servants, not even the trained wolf of a nobleman in sight or one of Lady Freyja's cats on a futile hunt for any mice potentially infesting the halls of the royal palace. The sound of Thor's naked feet padding over the golden mosaic floor sounded too loud in his ears. Not that any guards or servants or any other passers-by had the right to stop the crown-prince - or question what he was doing outside his chambers at this late hour of the night.

But word would get back to his mother and the last thing Thor needed was another lecture about how important sleep was for growing young Aesir. Young growing Aesir who had lessons with their fencing master early the next morning and after that an hour of study with their history tutor during whose boring diatribes they tended to fall asleep. Mother's eyes would look disappointed too when she lectured him about the risks of his nightly exploits and while Thor might be the bravest, strongest warrior he could possibly be at the age of thirteen, he still didn't like seeing his mother disappointed.

So he moved as quietly as possible, keeping to shadows along the walls, never scurrying and or scrambling. Just like his tutors had taught him.

Thor first caught sign of another Aesir-being after tiptoeing down a flight of stairs that led to the corridor connecting Thor's and Loki's towers in the Northern Wing of the palace:

It was Eir, his mother's handmaiden who could tell glorious tales of her time as a healer for the Valkyrior. But now was not the time to ignore the strange darkness behind her eyes and beg her to once again recite the story of the Battle of Útgarðr or even a humorous one like that of the Capture of Sæhrímnir.

Instead, Thor took cover behind a statue of his great-grandfather, Buri Giant-Slayer, as she walked by and made sure not to make a single sound, not to move a single muscle and not to draw as much as a single, traitorous breath as she walked past.

He did notice that Eir looked worried.

Maybe Loki was feeling under the weather again. His twin-sibling often fell ill during the warm season and when they were unwell, Mother called for Eir. Mother and Father said these bouts of illness was nothing to worry about - but when they said that, Mother wrung her hands in that way of hers she only had when she was concerned about something and around Father's remaining eye, there was a strange tightness during these reassurances that made Thor worry even more. He was thirteen. They couldn't fool him.

Once he was sure Eir was out of sight, Thor slipped out from his hiding place and continued on his way to his sibling's chambers.

When he reached them, none of the fires in the hallway were burning. The only source of light came from above where the dark skies of Asgard were visible through the crystal ceiling with its millions of stars and the two moons, Hati and Skoll, chasing each other underneath colourful nebulas and twisting galaxies. Sometimes Thor even caught of a flash of light when someone used the Bifröst, but tonight he had no time to sit and watch and wait and wonder - wonder where the Einherjar were going, which people they would help and which quarrels they were resolving.

Both moons were almost full tonight and round.

They looked like eyes, watching Thor approach his target.

Maybe Loki had already gone to sleep, Thor mused and smiled at the thought of jumping on their bed to wake them up. Not as clever as the schemes Loki came up with - but their angry squealing would be worth it.

Pushing against Loki's door however – He found it locked.

Thor furrowed his brow.

Loki never locked their door at night – neither of them did, in case the other wanted to slip inside for any sort of nightly mischief or just to slip inside the other one's bed to hide from any Frost Giants hiding under their own. Sometimes also to release a bag full of spiders or to pour honey into the other one's boots. (Thor still had to come up with a good vengeance for that last one.)

He tried the door again. Maybe he had been mistaken. He must have been mistaken. Locking the door was against The Rules. (which were unwritten and ever-changed and depended on either of their moods and also mere convenience, but still. It was Cheating.) Except when he tried again, the door still didn't budge. "Loki! It's me!"

No response came from inside – but Thor thought he could hear the sound of fabric rustling.

Just to be annoying, Thor hit his flat hands against the door a few times. "You can't lock the door.

It's against The Rules!"

This time, there was complete silence- Not a single sound, even when Thor pressed his ear against the door.

"Loki, you need to open the door." He lowered his voice: "I think there are Frost Giants after me.

They'll eat me if you don't open the door." Still nothing. Thor rolled his eyes. Really?

"I'm just joking. There are no Frost Giants after me!" They were thirteen. Loki should really know better.

"Let's sneak into the kitchen. Volstagg says Andhrímnir made that chocolate cake you like so much…we can use this secret passage you said you found." How Loki kept finding secret pathways and entire hidden floors in the palace was one of the great mysteries of Thor's life, but as many times as this particular talent of his sibling had cost him a well-deserved victory in their games of catch or hide-and-seek, he knew better than not to profit when he could.

Suddenly, there was a noise behind the door. It sounded like…

Sniffling. Thor wondered whether his twin had been crying. Thor hated seeing Loki cry. Or just hearing it, like in this case. Hearing it was worse in a way because if Loki was crying on their own in their chambers it meant that it was real crying- Not just a trick to get out of trouble of make people do what they wanted or to get Thor in trouble.

"You would do that?" Came his siblings – his brother's voice, the voice of his boy form – from the other side of the door. And he definitely sounded as if he had cried. He sounded…forlorn.

Thor pushed against the door again with more fervour but it still refused to budge.

"Of course. We've done it a thousand times before."

There was a moment of silence from the other side of the door.

"But would you still do that. With me?"

Still? Thor was puzzled. Sure, it was late, but. They had been out much later on far more perilous quests than to sneak into the kitchen. One time they had even snuck into the royal stable and had taken Sleipnir for a ride around the garden. (As always, the Giant-horse had been vicious against

Thor and kicked its many legs at him, but Loki's commands it followed with perfect compliance. Thor had accused her of using some Seiðr-trick to make the beast obey, but Loki had insisted she was innocent.)

"Thor?"

"Of course, Loki. I would. Why wouldn't I?"

After another long silence, there was a clicking noise and finally, the door opened and Thor stood face to face with his twin brother. Even in the pale moonlight, he could see the deep, reddened shadows around Loki's eyes and his blotchy face was framed by a mob of unkempt hair. So he had been crying. And hadn't stopped entirely.

"What ails you? Brother?"

Loki stared at him. Blinking. "They did not. You don't…You don't know…"

Thor pushed past him before Loki could invite him into his chambers. Which shouldn't matter because he had never needed an invitation before and they were twins and they didn't lock their doors and frequented each other's rooms almost much as their own. And yet he could feel his brother's eyes on him, following his every movement like a hawk, hesitantly following after him as if he were the stranger in these rooms rather than thor - but keeping an unnatural

distance.

"Did someone hurt you?" Thor demanded. "Because if they did - whoever they are, I swear I will"

"No one hurt me. It's. It's nothing."

Nothing about Loki's room seemed amiss. Which didn't have to mean anything, because his brother's Seiðr was developing faster than Thor could keep up with and things were only rarely what they seemed with Loki these days.

Thor wondered whether Loki was lying. He did that. A lot. Sometimes it made Thor angry - but he knew that his brother wasn't malicious in his tendency to speak false. (Well. Sometimes he was.) He just preferred the path of least resistance to obtain his goals which grew more complex and elaborate by the day.

Instead of asking again, Thor searched his own memory for anything that might have upset his younger twin.

He hadn't seen Loki since breakfast. Breakfast...breakfast. Thor remembered stealing some honey-filled plums from Loki's plate but that shouldn't be reason enough for so much crying. In fact, Loki had seemed happy enough to avenge their plums by kicking Thor's ankle underneath the table for the rest of the morning. Still had that bruise.

After that… any number of things could have happened.

Except.

Ah.

"Is this about what Mother and Father wanted to talk to you about?" At breakfast, Father had asked Loki to see them after his lessons.

'You're in trouble!' Thor had taunted after him, convinced that this was the comeuppance for replacing Lady Freyja's expensive necklace with a single bootlace with three mismatched wooden-pearls on it in an impressive magical sleight of hand during the last Þing. Or maybe the honey in Thor's boots.

'No one is in trouble,' Mother had said and had clasped Loki's shoulder almost…possessively.

Thor had blinked, unsure why a case of harmless brotherly taunting would warrant so much emotion in his mother's eyes but Loki had flashed a triumphant grin at him when she wasn't looking and hadn't looked particularly worried. (Then, Thor had been sure that someone else would be thrown under the chariot for whatever Loki was in trouble for.) No. Loki had definitely been fine then.

"It's nothing," Loki said again. It wasn't a convincing lie and that alone was reason for concern.

"I'm just not feeling well."

"I saw Eir earlier. Was she here because of you?"

"She gave me something to help me sleep. I…I don't think I will join you tonight." No chocolate cake. More reason for concern.

"I could stay here," Thor suggested.

"No. You snore."

"I won't. I promise." Thor wasn't even sure that he did really snore. Loki said he did, but Thor certainly had never heard anything. Loki said that was because he was sleeping when he did but Thor didn't entirely believe him.

"I might contract a horrible disease," Loki said. "If you fall ill, you will miss your training tomorrow."

"Then we'll be ill together."

The corner of Loki's mouth twitched upwards, for a moment so brief Thor almost missed. Then his brother wrapped his thin arms around his body. As if he were cold.

"Can…can I ask you something?"

Thor knew that question.

"Yes."

He also knew which request would follow it:

"You have to promise not to be angry." "I promise," Thor sighed.

"You said there were Frost Giants."

"What?"

"You said they were after you. That they would eat you."

Thor laughed. "I was jesting! Of course I was! There are no Frost Giants in Asgard." The monsters had their own realm, a place as dark and savage as they were themselves. That's what

Thor's tutors had said. "You're thirteen, not a baby. You should know that."

"Do you hate all Frost Giants?" Loki asked. He was wringing and kneading his hands like Mother did when she was worried. Of course, Thor figured, Frost Giants were a reason for worry, but since they weren't any in Asgard and would never be in Asgard, he couldn't quite follow his brother's strange line of questioning tonight. But then. He often didn't quite understand Loki. What mattered was to reassure him that whatever worry his overactive mind had come up with now was unfounded.

"Of course I do. They're the biggest enemies Asgard has and once I'm king I shall slay all of them and they shan't hurt anyone ever again. I'll protect you from them."

"Do you hate them more than you love me?"

Sometimes, Loki was just like an adult. He said things and asked questions that didn't seem connected and made dumb conclusions based on your answers and got angry or sad when he didn't like them. It was like when his tutors asked him questions about things that they hadn't taught him in their lessons and chastised him for not knowing the answers. It was unfair. Thor made a mental note to make it against The Rules, too. New Rule: Just speak your mind. Say what you think. Simple as that.

"No?" Thor tried.

"But if I were a Frost Giant- Would you still love me?"

"Did Eir test your temperature for fever?" He asked but didn't wait for a response. "You're not a Frost Giant. You're not a big, blue monster that eats babies. You're my brother. And I will stay here tonight." Even Mother would have to see that looking after you're feverish little brother was a worthy reason to stay awake.

Loki nodded. Maybe he had come to the same conclusion.

"Would you still…bring me some of that chocolate cake?" Loki asked innocently. Except his voice sounded hollow. None of the usual excitement his brother had for sweet treats. And sweets were usually the only kind of food he had any enthusiasm for. "Just a piece? I'm really feeling unwell."

Thor clasped his brother's shoulder - who shrunk away underneath his touch. It stung but Thor let go.

"I will be back before Skoll can catch up with Hati."

"Take your time."

Clearly, Loki was sicker than he let on and if he thought chocolate cake would help, then it was Thor's responsibility as his big brother to procure some. Had the legendary Gunnr not defeated a hundred Giants only to see her wife smile? That was what heroes did for the people they cared about. And one day, he would be the greatest hero Asgard had ever seen.

His brother had asked for one slice. Thor managed to steal the entire cake before the moons were even touching so he was rather pleased with himself.

Until he found Loki's door locked yet again.

This time, there was no response to any of his knocking or calling or pleading or loud cake-eating emphasised by dramatic moaning.

Thor spent the night sitting on the ground in front of a locked door, watching Skoll disappear behind Hati and eventually re-emerge on the other side. His legs were numb and his head was hurting by the time both moons disappeared in the light of the rising morning sun.

He wondered whether Loki knew he was there. That Thor could hear his brother's breathing and sometimes sniffling or the rustling of his clothes on the other side of the door that separated them as they sat back to back in the dark.

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