With apologies to James Lord Pierpont, who composed "Jingle Bells" in 1857.
Patch Me Through
H-P-D, H-P-D,
Patch me through to Steve!
For there's an emergency
That you would not believe!
H-P-D, H-P-D,
Hurry, if you please!
Danny's in an awful mess
And Kono's still on leave.
Yesterday at noon,
When out to make a bust,
Chin Ho Kelly read the rights
While Ben applied the cuffs.
The perp, he lawyered up,
Was out today on bail,
To seek revenge on H-Five-O
On him we need a tail! Oh…
H-P-D, H-P-D,
Patch me through to Steve!
For there's an emergency
That you would not believe!
H-P-D, H-P-D,
Hurry, if you please!
Danny's in an awful mess
And Kono's still on leave.
Duke spotted a sedan
The license plate was right.
He followed it discreetly, but
The traffic, it was tight.
It turned by Diamond Head
And then it headed north
Lukela drove with nerves of steel
For all that he was worth. Oh…
H-P-D, H-P-D,
Patch me through to Steve!
For there's an emergency
That you would not believe!
H-P-D, H-P-D,
Hurry, if you please!
Danny's in an awful mess
And Kono's still on leave.
The car, it finally stopped
This had to be the place.
Duke peered inside the building
And saw a familiar face.
Dan Williams bound and gagged,
His blood was on his suit.
Three thugs were pointing guns at him;
One had a knife, to boot! Oh…
H-P-D, H-P-D,
Patch me through to Steve!
For there's an emergency
That you would not believe!
H-P-D, H-P-D,
Hurry, if you please!
Danny's in an awful mess
And Kono's still on leave.
Duke sprinted to his car
For backup he did call
"Patch me through to Five-O now,
And make that on the ball!
Then patch me to the morgue,
Directly to the Doc.
I've got to tell him Danny's hurt -
The suspect cleaned his clock." Oh…
H-P-D, H-P-D,
Patch me through to Steve!
For there's an emergency
That you would not believe!
H-P-D, H-P-D,
Hurry, if you please!
Danny's in an awful mess
And Kono's still on leave.