As far back as I could remember he was always right by my side, my knight in shining armor, my hero. And for probably just as long I'd been absolutely in love with him. His blue eyes would meet mine and I could just feel it, the chemistry,
-- that spark. And I knew no matter what I'd be okay.
Five years old and best friends with Blair Waldorf, we met each other at the children's academy at Saint Jude's. He and his best friend Chuck were the only two boys Blair had deemed worthy of our time. And I of course, twirled my hair and followed along, not caring whom it was I played with. Blair and Chuck made instant friends and began plotting their take-over of the Upper East Side. They were so similar, both dark, and mysterious, and ambitious.
And similarly so were he and I. Both blond haired and blue eyed, innocent and wide-eyed, we shared a kin-ness unusual for our age. We soon became inseparable, having play-dates at our alternate houses and park dates together, our nannies following close behind. My time with him became tag, and truth or dare, swing sets and big smiles. He was always there to pick me up if I fell down, to wiped the tears streaming down my face and the dirt off of my skinned knee. He was the very thing I'd always needed. He was my rock.
As we got older my mother got more and more distant. But once my father left she completely faded away. She'd go on her long extended vacations leaving my brother and I alone at the house, unaware our nannies had quit a week before. It was times like that I was thankful for him. I'd call and cry and ask for help and he'd be there 20 minutes later, nanny in tow and we'd walk back to his house hand in hand. His mother and father would smile at me, tell me I could stay for as long as I needed, and Erik would go off with the nanny and it's be left just me and him.
We'd sit in the TV room and watch cartoons on Saturday morning, run to the park and meet Blair and Chuck. We'd eat spaghetti like the savages we were, then wash our hands climbing up and sharing the same stool. We'd say goodnight a little after nine and walk down the opposite sides of the hall. I'd wait the whole night, eyes awake, just lying on the bed, waiting. Sometime after 11, I'd fall asleep, probably crying. But then I'd wake up as I felt the covers lifting open, the rush of cold air that hit my skin and I'd feel a warm body hug me close and place a head on my pillow. I'd sigh and fall asleep next to him and in the morning I'd wake up and he'd be gone, afraid of getting caught by his parents and having me go away. But I'd look at my pillow and see a small flower, a daisy, and I'd smile cause it was from him. I'd get myself out of bed, and get ready for school, and then we'd take the limo down to school talking about our dreams, of life and sleep. And once we got to school, we'd part ways, me with Blair and he with Chuck.
At thirteen my mom left us during the summer. She went on vacation with my new step-dad Hans, something or other. Erik cried to sleep that night, wanting our mom, wanting her to keep her promise. She was supposed to take us to the Hamptons, a summer just the three of us. And I couldn't bear to see Erik cry. So I called him, and explained everything, and he told me he'd be right over.
This time he came without his nanny and when he knocked I opened the door holding a sad, and big Erik, who was clinging to me in a hug. He gave me a soft smile and looked to my bags, grabbed them and pulled my hand in a soft tug. I snatched the keys to the penthouse off the table, locked the door behind me, and made my way into the limo with Erik. "You can stay with us this summer. There's plenty of room and my parents love you and your brother." I smiled at him and when we finally arrived I stepped out and pulled him into a huge hug. "Thanks." I whispered. There was no need for anything else.
That summer was one for the books. It was the first time I could totally let loose, let others worry about my brother and just have fun. I could forget about my crazy mother and just be a kid. He and I spent that whole summer together. I think it was then that it became our tradition. We'd run to the beach, hang out and just tan, talking and laughing about the latest Chuck and Blair scheme. We played soccer in the yard with all of his cousins and his grandfather would beam at the two of us and say, "One day, you two will make lovely team." We'd get confused by that, what did he mean? But the adults would just laugh and ignore our quizzical looks. And we'd get on with our game.
His older cousin Tripp, the biggest of the bunch had the ball and of course I ran full speed at him, getting the ball away from him. But I felt a foot snake under mine and pull me to the ground. I fell and slid down to the ground, grass stains on my dress and my knees covered with green. I looked up to see Tripp with the ball, making his way to the goal, no care for me in the world. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes and I tried my best to keep face. I heard a few shouts, nothing I could make out, and saw a very angry Tripp stalk to the beach. I felt him come to my side, help me up and bring me inside. He sat with me on the bathroom counter and turned on the water. He took my legs in his lap and with a cloth he wiped my knees as gently as he could, getting the green off. We stayed like that for a while after I was clean, my legs across his lap.
Finally I said, "You didn't have to yell at him. He was just trying to play the game."
"He just didn't want to get beat by you in front of grandfather. Serena are you okay?"
"I'm fine. See!" I smiled as I hoped off the counter and unsteadily onto the floor. A pained smile made it's way onto my face and I prayed he wouldn't see through me.
"Walk around a little bit." He said, his eyes narrowing.
I took a few painful steps forward, trying to be strong.
"Serena I can see it on you're face. You are not okay!"
"I'm fine! It's just my ankle." I took that moment to stumble forward and he was off the counter and holding me before I could fall again. He held me up and looked at me, "You're not fine. You need some ice at least and then maybe you'll be fine."
I moved to protest but he scooped me up into his arms and opened the bathroom door. He led me to his room and placed me on the bed. "Can I trust you not to move?" he asked me.
"I promise." I told him back.
He left for a few minutes and came back. "I'm surprised you didn't move."
"I promised I wouldn't," I laughed at how well he knew me. He placed the ice on my ankle and held it in place.
"Thank you." I told him.
He smiled to me.
I fell asleep for a little on his bed and when I woke up he was gone. I checked the clock and it read 6:30. I couldn't hear anyone in the house and spoke out loud, "Nate? Are you here?"
Not hearing an answer I pushed the covers off of me and took painful steps to the door. I opened it and walked into the hall. "Nate?" I called out again. I groped my way out of the hallway and saw him enter the house through the sliding doors. He spotted me leaned up against the wall and rushed toward me.
"Serena!" he said, his voice full of worry. "What are you doing?"
"I woke up and you were gone Natie. I called your name and you weren't there so I came to find you."
He sighed. "It figures you sleep for two hours and when I leave for 5 seconds you wake up and almost hurt yourself even more." He sounded frustrated and I felt compelled to apologize.
"Nate I'm…"
"I'm not mad. I'm sorry I left but I had to let my parents know that you were sleeping in my room and that I was going to stay with you because I was afraid you'd get up in the middle of the night and hurt yourself."
I smiled shyly at him. "I guess you weren't off base by much, huh."
He fake scowled and placed my arm around his neck, embracing me with support. We hobbled the way to his room and he gently placed me on his bed for the second time that night. He threw me one of his old t-shirts and turned around to let me change my clothes. I smiled as he propped my foot up with one of his pillows and watched him search for the remote to his TV. I smiled as he scooted me over and lay down next to me, propping himself against the pillow and me against his chest. We sat there and watched a Friends marathon for 5 hours straight, unable to contain our laughter. And finally we fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning my face pressed against the hard surface of his chest. I could feel the creases on my face and groaned softly into the room. My nose was filled with the familiar scent of Nate and I realized it was one of my favorite smells. I smiled to myself looking at the light stream into the room watching, as it poured over him, making him look as angelic as ever. I just lay there and watched him, until he woke up and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him.
"Good morning," he said his voice groggy.
I smiled at him. I had liked just watching him sleep, it was nice to watch him instead of him watching me all of those times before. "I was just thinking of something," I said.
"Uh oh. What?" he asked curiously.
"About how you always left me flowers when you'd leave my room after spending the night. It always made me smile. But I never asked you why you did it."
He looked around embarrassed before looking into my eyes and saying "Flowers remind me of sunshine, and you're my sunshine." His brilliant blue eyes stared into my soul, and I could feel his truth in that statement. I smiled brilliantly at him and tightened my hold around him. We lay there for a long time just holding each other; I enjoyed my favorite smell and he enjoyed his favorite kind of sunshine.
Fifteen was when my life started to spiral out of control. My mom had just made her way out of a tricky divorce and after dragging Erik and I for the ride, we weren't on speaking terms. My friendship with Blair was shaky and I had turned to Georgina Sparks, a girl after my own heart, only wanting to be free. And I fell into the trap that she was and got misguided. Only this time I didn't have Nate to pick me up out of it. He was with Blair now, and it seemed like it was for the best. They were happy, and who was I if not the victim. Blair had wanted him and I had stood idly by and watched her take him away from me. But I didn't own him. And eventually he left on his own anyway.
They became this super couple, the future Mr. ad Mrs. Nathaniel Archibald. That was something I always thought would be mine. He was something I always thought would be mine.
One night in early September we went to a wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, as were the bride and groom. I looked toward Nate with a smile and saw that Blair was chatting him up, talking about their future plans, as if she already had a ring on her finger. My future flashed before my eyes, I saw the maid of honor dress I'd wear and the life without Nate I would have.
As we moved to the reception I just needed a drink. After all I was Serena Van der Woodsen, and who was I if not a party girl. I would spot them kissing and take a swig of my champagne. The sight made me sick to my stomach, which made me feel horrible for being envious of my best friend.
That night we ended up at the bar together. I was rambling about life and completely drunk. He was sitting on a bar stool and I was walking the length of the bar. He reached out to me and we battled over the bottle in my hands. I ended up in his lap and before I could stop myself I kissed him. The kiss was soft at first but as things continued it got more passionate. I didn't know what I was doing but I couldn't get enough of him, of his taste. I opened his shirt up in a hurry and ran my hands down the length of his chest; he slipped me out of my dress. And right there, in a bar, we became one.
I'd been called a slut before that but it had never really fazed me. But in the moments after I realized I had just lost my virginity to my best friend's boyfriend, and he had lost his to me. I had betrayed Blair. I had to get out of there. Stealing his shirt for coverage and giving him a hasty "I've got to go" I left him there.
The next day I was on a train to Connecticut, to boarding school, and away from him and New York. I got countless calls from him and Blair, begging me to come home but I couldn't oblige. I had to deal with what I'd done to both of them. I promised myself I would reform and become a better person. And I realized I was wrong about something. Nate had been there to pick up my pieces and protect me, whether he had known it or not. He had made me a better person, a person who wanted to change.
Going back was harder than leaving. The first time I saw him my heart started beating erratically and I realized that I feelings I had long before suppressed weren't gone at all. And worse than that he seemed to feel the same way. Blair hated me for leaving and I feared any interaction with Nate would only cause more of a problem. So I lied to him and told him he didn't matter to me, that I hadn't come back for him. I created a whole web of lies because I needed to be better than I was. And what hurt almost as much was that he believed me. He believed all of the cruel words that I had spoken to him. My heart broke but I got through it.
He did too and he and Blair remained together for many months after. Surely it had been worth my sacrifice, until they broke up and he started a relationship with another girl. I had someone else too, but it didn't hurt any less. Giving him up to Blair was one thing. But no one else deserved my Nate, because he was mine.
He stayed there for me, through everything that happened. The guys came and left and broke my heart in the process but he was always there for me, always encouraging me to keep looking for love. He'd pick me up from a bar at 2 in the morning when Blair and Chuck couldn't be bothered and bring me to his house. He'd lay me on the bed and fall asleep next to me, he'd hold my hair as I threw up in the toilet, and he's give me tea when I was sick as a dog. I had countless old lacrosse t-shirts of his at my house, but he always gave me a new one anyway. I'd fall asleep to the smell of Nate, a smell that matured to his Drakkar Noir cologne, and his hands would stroke my hair, fingers getting entangled in the yellow mess. He'd trace shapes on my bare shoulder and I'd giggle, even after a hard night and a huge hangover. And he'd flash me that megawatt smile and I'd feel instantly better.
We got closer again once Chuck and Blair started dating. He was recently single and in need of a companion. I was on my own for the summer. So we made our way down to the Hamptons and locked ourselves into the house for the summer, for old times sake if anything. That summer rivaled our first summer as one of the best. We sat there on the beach, sand in between our toes and iced coffees in our hands. We wore hats, so as not be recognized and ate grilled cheese together at 3 in the morning. We laughed at the good old times, made some new times, and just let loose. It was just Nate and Serena, for one whole summer. Flowers were in full stock that summer and I had a new one for my hair everyday when I woke up.
But summer always ends and we went back to school. He went to Columbia, and I floated on through life. Blair was busy at NYU, and Chuck with Bass industries. I had decided to skip out on Brown and Nate had been the one to nudge me forward in life. He was the one who suggested getting a job. My knight was back in business; and without a girlfriend.
We grew closer and more mature. He was there for me during all the drama that is my mother and I was there for him during his family mess. His cousin, slightly older and wiser, had begun making passes at me, and I was too weak to fend him off. The more he pursued the more attached I got. Tripp made me feel wanted and needed, like I was a prize, and not the screw-up I actually was.
But he was married, and a congressman and I knew it was wrong. I couldn't help myself when he told me he wanted me, I just had to have him. Nate tried to save me, he tried to tell me how he felt, tried to have the courage to say it, when we both knew there was something between us. But I turned to Tripp and took the coward's way out of it, so that I could save my heart the pain of eventually losing Nate.
And that landed me in a hospital bed, alone with no one to turn to but myself. It was Nate who had found me, who had called 911. He called my mom and had everyone informed and when I woke up delirious in the hospital he waited his turn as everyone entered in before him, hugging me and kissing me. I watched him though the window, watching me. I'd catch his eyes slide away from mine whenever they met. My heart dropped. Maybe I had lost my chance. Maybe I was too late.
The doctor came in and told everyone I needed to rest. I started to protest, not having seen Nate yet, but they shot something through my IV and everything soon went dark.
I remember waking up sometime during the night and looking to the clock. It was dark in the room, the only light source the florescent lights of the hallway. The clock read 4:30 in the morning. I moved my body around a bit, trying to get comfortable for sleep again. My side hurt so I turned over. I saw a dark shadow sitting on what looked like a chair. I held my gasp in and peered more closely at the figure. Was it my mom? I couldn't tell. But as I looked more closely I realized it was Nate, sleeping on one of those uncomfortable hospital chairs, curled fist propping his head up. I smiled a small smile to myself and lay there watching him, until finally sleep consumed me.
That morning when I woke up he was gone. I looked around and all I saw was my mom and Dan looking back at me.
"Where's Nate?" I asked them both.
They looked back at me with quizzical looks. "Serena, Nate hasn't been back here since last night."
I looked at her shocked. "No he was here, I woke up in the middle of the night and he was here!" I started to cry out, tears streaming down my face.
"It was just a dream Serena, just a dream."
"No! No! He was here. I need him here with me. He's the only one who can put me back together." I started getting hysterical and I saw Dan motion for a doctor. They came in and for the second time I felt darkness overtake me. I tried to fight I called out, "Nate!" but it came out as only a whisper.
The weeks after coming out of the hospital were lonely. I had everyone surrounding me but the one person I needed. I decided to play by my mother's rules for the first few weeks and went home to stay with her. She was worried and there was no need for me to keep worrying her.
But there came a point where I just had to get out of there. Finally on my own I started walking to the places we always went together. Our spot in Central Park, our favorite coffee shop, which had the perfect coffee for post hangovers, and even the bar at which we had first found each other, but he was never there. Each passing day without him I got more and more depressed. I started going out again, and getting wasted only this time I had no one to call. Blair took care of me as best she could, her and Chuck opened they're arms wide. But I could see they were getting tired of it, so I stopped even calling them. I was making it back to my apartment at all odd hours of the night, if I even made it home at all. Nights at the bar were becoming a regular occurrence of mine.
Everyone saw I had snapped, but no one could figure out why. I'd lie on my bed, getting sober and stared at the pictures of him and I, from childhood, from adolescence, and I grew more and more nostalgic. I missed him so much.
One night while I was drunk at a bar, the bartender took my phone. "Who can I call for you miss? There is no way you're getting home by yourself."
"I don't care who you call. I'm not ready to leave!"
He continued on serving me shots and I continued on drinking before I recognized a familiar face in the crowd. "What are you doing here?"
"I got a call from a bartender. Serena what are you doing coming out and getting drunk?" he asked me.
"What do you care?" I asked him coldly. I looked to the bartender and asked, "Of all the people in there, you called him?" I couldn't believe my luck.
"There was a heart next to his name, I figured he was someone important."
"He was," I muttered before snatching my phone and stalking off toward the exit. I heard Nate follow behind me and once I was out of the smoke filled bar I gulped down some air.
"Serena, where are you going?" he asked behind me.
"Away from here, and away from you." Tears threatened to fall from my eyes but I held them back.
"If there is anyone who should be leaving it should be me. You're the one who always leaves, while I'm the one stuck looking like the jack ass."
"You're the one who should leave? I get out of the hospital and don't hear squat from you and you think you have a right to be mad."
"I was giving you space to figure out your life."
"Well you see how well that's been working so far," I exclaimed my arms spread wide in a look at me type of manner.
"Serena, no matter who is mad at who I need to get you home. There is no way I am letting you out of my sight."
"I don't need you to be my hero Nate. I'm fine on my own." I screamed.
He stalked his way to me and looked at me through narrow eyes. "You can make this easy or hard. Either way you're coming with me. I don't care if you hate me, but I got the call from the bartender and you're going to have to deal with it."
I glared at him as well as I could, my eyes were so out of focus. Finally I sighed and gave up and he took me by the hand and pulled me in a direction. I squeezed my hand out of his grasp. "I may be coming with you, but that doesn't mean I'm going to like it."
He rolled his eyes and hailed a cab. We got in he gave him the address to his apartment. The rest became hazy. I remember falling asleep in the back of the cab, having him pick me up and carry me up the stairs and into the bed. I remember throwing up in the toilet and I remember falling asleep on a soft bed.
I remember saying "It was real I know it was real" and him asking me what. I remember begging him to answer, "Tell me it was real," but then everything went black.
I woke up the next morning in a world that was not my own. My face was pressed against a familiar hard surface and I opened my eyes to see Nate beneath me. Our legs were tangled up together and my hair was flying everywhere. I picked myself up and removed the hair from my face. I looked down at him, sleeping peacefully and I remembered all those many years ago. So much had changed since we were thirteen. He no longer wore shirts to bed, and his hair was more brown than blond. But he still smelled the same and the sight of him still made my heart beat erratically.
I got myself out of bed and saw the coke near the bedside, another hangover tradition, to get the taste of throw up out of my mouth. I gulped down a bit and then looked down at myself. I was donning one of his many t-shirts and the hem made it down to the middle of my thigh. I wondered how I had gotten into it and realized he must have changed me. I smiled to myself thinking about how much I liked waking up in his clothes. I even fantasized about it for a few minutes. But then I shook the thoughts out of my head and moved onto the problem at hand. I had to find my clothes and get out of here before he woke up.
I made my way around the apartment looking for them, all of my clothes. I finally found them and changed quickly and quietly, leaving his shirt on cause my shirt was disgusting. I stole a glance in the mirror when I was done and almost couldn't contain my laughter. My hair was a tangled mess of yellow with no chance of being tamed. I was almost out of the apartment when I made my fatal mistake. I took two minutes to check if he had any pop tarts and when I finally found them the cabinet closed with a loud thud. I held my breath hoping he had slept right through when I heard a worried, "Serena?" He was in the living room in less than a minute and all I could do was laugh at the sight. He was in boxers and his hair was mussed up. He looked like he had just gone through 12 rounds in a fight and come out the winner.
When he saw me he stopped. There was a look on his face as our eyes caught sight of each other. I had simply left his shirt on and put my heels on and he was staring at me like I had always wanted him to.
"I see you were trying to sneak off with my shirt," he said, feeling the air. "And my pop tarts."
"Well you know me, I'm anything if consistent." I couldn't help but smile at him. "I'll uh, give you back your shirt the next time I see you… I promise."
"No you should keep it," he started, "It looks good on you."
We stood there smiling before I finally said, "Well listen thank you for last night. But I should really get going."
"Serena, I think we should talk first."
"There's nothing to talk about Nate."
"No?" he asked me, his head cocked to the side as he made his way to the couch and plopped down.
I looked at him, and pleaded him to just let last night go.
But he didn't. "You said something last night." I continued to look at him. "You said, 'Tell me it was real.' What did you mean?"
I continued to look at him before responding, "I was so drunk last night, I don't even remember."
He looked at me the way he always looked at me when he was sensing that I was lying. He cocked his head over to one side and narrowed his eyes. "I don't believe you."
My breath caught in my throat. He was the only person I knew who could see right past my façade. "Well that's fine, believe what you want. I –" he gave me a look then, a pleading look for me to just tell him the truth. I sighed. "When I was in the hospital I had a dream that I woke up in the middle of the night and you were there, sleeping on a chair, just watching over me." He grew wide-eyed. "But when I woke up again you weren't there. I could have sworn it was real but everyone told me I was being crazy. And I figured when you didn't call me that they were right and I had just imagined it."
He looked at me closely, almost as if wanting to see how I felt about all of this. "And the truth is I wanted it to be real. I'm sorry if that spooks you out but after everything you've done for me I just wanted it to be real, I wanted to know I had somebody who would always be there to protect me, somebody who loved me."
He waited a few minutes trying to find the right words and I felt the tears start to fall. I got up quickly and said, "Forget it, I know it's crazy." I started making my way to the door when I finally heard him answer me back. I stopped in my tracks. "What?" I asked him.
"It was real." He said again, even more softly than the first time. "I was there that night, I needed to stay with you, to make sure for myself that you were alright."
"But," I started, a million questions going on in m mind. It was real? "But why didn't you stay or let me know you were there. Why did you just leave the next morning and then ignore me these past three weeks?"
He hesitated. "Serena, I told you how I felt. Short of declaring my undying love for you I told you exactly how I felt. And you chose my cousin over me. You chose to go the opposite way, and not give me a chance. I couldn't put myself out there again to get hurt. I figured if you wanted to make something happen you would call me and let me know. But I promised myself I wouldn't let you hurt me again. I've let that happen too many times before and I don't think I'm strong enough to go through it one more time."
I just stared at him and asked, "So it's not too late?"
"Too late?"
"I realized the mistake I made by picking Tripp as soon as I chose him. But by then I knew it was too late. I knew you would never forgive me. And then when you were there for me after the accident and now knowing you stayed with me that night, Natie I need to know that there is still a chance for us. Because I'm pretty sure I've been in love with you since I was five years old, and I've never stopped. I just need to know there is a chance we can work."
He looked at me with his soft smile and said, "Of course there is a chance. You're the only girl I've ever loved."
"I'm not going to say it won't be hard or that I won't be scared. But as long as you want me I'll be here." I finished.
"Well then I guess I'd better get used to you." He smiled before coming at me full force, picking me up and throwing me on his bed. I started giggling as he attacked me, tickling every inch of skin he could. I pleaded with him, begged him to stop, and after a while he finally did. We sat together for the rest of the day on the couch watching TV, our stomach aching from laughter and too much ice cream. We'd take things slow and see where it led. I had a feeling we would be just fine, all we needed was a little time.
The next few days were weird at best. But they were the best time of my life. The two of us spent them talking and walking and getting to know each other again. Not much had changed since we were younger. We were still naïve at best, always looking to the best in people. Maybe that was why we could both except Chuck and Blair and have them be such important parts of our lives.
We dated and it really wasn't much work with us. Truth is Nate was exactly the same as always, just as stubborn, and wide-eyed and perfect. Our long midnight talks, and tickle fights, and long walks around the city, just looking for restaurants to try out, those were the things that made us, us. But as we spent more time together I realized it wasn't just those things, or the spontaneous things. It was the little things, like the sound of our laughs together, or the way we could communicate with each other without words. And our sexual connection was beyond amazing. There really were no words to describe just what he made me feel. Those were the things that made me sure I would marry him one day.
Old girlfriends circled his life; after all he had many of them, and old flames of mine as well. But as time went on I realized he was more important to me then I realized. He had become everything. And just this thought was enough to keep us together for the long haul. We moved in together. We continued to get stronger and stronger together.
So did Blair and Chuck. Two years after Nate and I had finally gotten our act together, Blair and Chuck got married. We stood by them, and helped them on their day. Blair was wearing a Waldorf original, and Chuck looked pretty dapper himself. And their wedding was by far the most beautiful event I had ever been to. The old church ceremony, followed by the Palace reception was beautiful, and nothing short of perfect, after all it was for Blair. I couldn't help but feel a pang jealous that Blair had gotten married first, had gotten everything she ever wanted. I was happy for her, but as I looked at Nate, beaming back at me, I couldn't help but wonder how much longer it would take him to ask me that important question.
After we sent Chuck and Blair on their way, we went back home. I hailed a taxi for us but he pulled on my arm. "Serena, let's walk home. It's a warm June night."
I rolled my eyes at him, but his puppy dog face won out in the end. I looked down at my shoes and laughed, "When my feet start hurting you're carrying me."
He chuckled and nodded his head. He left his hand in the open air and I placed mine in it. We walked a few blocks when he stopped. I looked up at him. "What?"
He pointed to the building. "This was the place where the Shepard's had their wedding." He smiled. "The start of it all."
"I think the start of it all was the children's academy at Saint Jude's. But I guess yeah, this was the place where we finally realized it."
"Let's go in, have a drink, remember it."
I looked at him, "Okay I guess, but one drink only! I don't want you taking advantage of me."
We laughed and made our way to the empty bar, which had haunted my dreams for years, and sat down on the stools. He ordered a scotch and I took some champagne. Not much had changed since then.
I was babbling away about the wedding when I saw him dig into his pocket. I looked at him curiously and he smiled at me and got up from chair. He got up behind me and when I turned around he was on his knee and holding a ring in his finger.
"Is that--?" I started, but I couldn't get the words out..
"Serena Van der Woodsen, I have been happy with you for two years, but I have loved you ever since we were kids. Five years old and you captured my heart and from that moment, it was no longer mine. I followed you around, we played together, we loved as much as too children could. But as we got older things got in our ways, expectations, promises, and we lost each other. When I was thirteen years old I promised myself I would marry you one day. And when you came back to me I felt that dream come alive again. Please do me the honor of becoming my wife. I've always been the luckiest man in the world; just having known you, but to have you love me back has meant everything to me. Marry me, make a life with me, and be happy with me. Kiss me, hug me, and love me. And no matter what happens we'll always have more than everyone else. Our love will always save us."
With his speech finished, he waited for me to answer. Tears welled up into my eyes as I heard his words for me. "Yes, I would be the happiest woman in the whole world if I could be your wife. I promise I will try to be the best wife possible, but I know, no matter what that our love is so strong and as long as you still believe in me I'll always love you."
I will always remember the look on his face and he lunged at me, pulling me into a huge hug. He pulled back and laid a wet one right on my lips. We kissed and kissed and the little crowd around us clapped and laughed. I pulled away from him finally and asked, "Would you mind putting that ring on my finger now? After all I am a taken woman."
He grinned and slid the beautiful ring onto my fourth finger. It was the perfect fit and we smiled together, sharing our look of love with the other. I laughed. "Leave it to you to propose on the day of Chuck and Blair's wedding. Do you read my mind or something?"
"I've been wanting to do that ever since I was thirteen years old. I couldn't wait anymore."
"Well you sure made me wait." I laughed.
"Let's go home baby."
I smiled and let him pick me up and carry me out of the room and the rest of the way home. He carried me over the threshold and placed me onto the bed.
He smiled down at me and I laughed as he starting pulling the zipper of my dress down. I moved to help him but his hands stopped me. "I want to admire you," he said, "please let me."
I let him touch me and tease me, let him slid my dress down my body so slowly it was painful. I watched as he unbuttoned his shirt and undid his belt buckle. He pulled off his dress pants and stood in his boxers. He moved to my hair and undid my up-do. My hair sprawled around my pillow, encircling my face in a halo-like manner. He smiled down at me and unclasped my strapless bra behind me. He slid my panties down the length of my legs. My eyes widened as he took off his boxers. That night was one of the times of my life.
Later as we lay in bed together, just holding each other I said tiredly, "Nate, I want to get married soon, okay?"
"Whenever you want Serena."
"This September, just as summer starts to turn to fall. That's a good time right?" I asked quizzically.
"That's the best time," he started, "That's our time." With that we drifted off to sleep.
We ended up getting married at the end of August, with the sky up above, the sand in between our toes, and the sun on our backs. The wedding was everything I could have ever hoped to have. The ocean as our view, we praised our love and each other and promised to always be together.
Blair and my bridesmaids were a vision in yellow and Chuck and the groomsmen looked great in khaki's and blue button-downs, matching Nate. I wore a short white sundress and carried an amazing bouquet of baby roses and calla lilies, all soft pinks and yellows. My hair was pulled back in a simple up do, falling messily in strands around my face.
I made my way down the isle, Erik at my side. I smiled at my guests, a small hundred, and finally brought my eyes to him. My breath hitched in my throat when I saw Nate standing there, waiting for me. The way he looked at me I felt like the most beautiful woman in the entire world. I relished in the tingling feeling that swept over my body, the goose bumps that appeared across my arms.
I finally made it down and he helped me keep steady, holding my hand for balance. Even barefoot I seemed to lose my balance around him. He gave me a soft but reassuring smile before we turned our attention to the priest. We chose traditional vows knowing there wasn't enough ways to say our love for each other, but it was a personal thing for us. And finally after standing there in anticipation for thirty long minutes, we were pronounced husband and wife. Nate swept me up into a long heated kiss. I basked in the feeling of his arms around me, the sun warming my back. The crowd cheered and we made our way back up the petal filled isle, Chuck and Blair following closely behind us.
There aren't enough words to describe my feelings in that moment, or any of the moments I'm with Nate. You have to experience your own love story to understand mine. In the three months we've been married, we've hardly ever fought, although sometimes we get snappy with each other. We've been enjoying ourselves, being blissfully in love, and blissfully happy with each other.
We make it a point to get together with Chuck and Blair at least once a week; after all they are our best friends. Yesterday Chuck and Blair told us they were expecting a baby. Normally I would have been jealous she was having a baby, she was doing everything first; but the truth is I'm content just how I am, and for once I can be happy for my best friend, who has everything she's ever wanted.
As we sit on the couch I grab Nate's hand and he smiles at me, that soft knowing smile. He grips mine tightly and we snuggle close together. Because the Princess has finally found her Prince, and the Prince his Princess, and we are not letting go anytime soon. We'll have kids in the future; we'll fight and laugh and cry together in the future; we'll have our good times and our trying times in the future. But we'll always have each other. And that's all we need to keep our fairytale happily ever after.