It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.

- Edna St. Vincent Millay

-

Roxas held this breath and tried to ignore the grass stains on the knee-part of his pants, instead focusing on the vile liquid-could it even be considered liquid?-spilled out of his mouth and into the much too clean toilet. It must have been bleached to keep it that color. White. Pure. His hands clenched in his hair, tugging lightly as he gasped air through his lungs. For a few minutes he just knelt there, a thick disgusting coat in his mouth, hands in his hair, and unusually pale face gazing down into the toilet bowl. Like anyone would see him, right? The stall door was tightly closed, and all the other kids should be in class, one which he was skipping because in gym he was an easy target to get picked on.

New kid. New kid. That had been his title every time he switched schools. One might get used to it, Roxas had, considering he had moved three times in the past year. His anxiety always got the better of him, so his parents decided it was best to keep him away from one place, they thought it was atmosphere, for god's sake. Therapist's had no clue what to do with him because he didn't speak much, and when he did it was usually a one-word answer. They thought 'good' and 'fine' were the only words in his vocabulary. He was one of the only patients who could make the therapists feel awkward, with his poker face through-out the whole day's session, no matter how hard they tried to get him to talk he wouldn't say a word.

Of course, every one knew why he was like this, his family and the doctor's, that is.

A line of sweat trickled down his cheek, snapped him into reality, and more vomit spilled into the toilet. His sides ached so badly.

His head snapped up when he heard the bathroom door slam open, and a defiant, "Fuck you!" echo and bounce off the walls. When the door closed he heard footsteps walking around the bathroom, and some very crude comments on teachers, how they never tried. All Roxas wanted to do was get out of there, before he got himself caught. It really would be hard to explain why he was skipping class to throw-up in the bathroom. No one had to know about his anxiety, so maybe he could pass it off as stomach flu? Heh, the people here were already confused by his 'odd' behavior.

Roxas strained his ears to hear a whispered, "I hate them all…" his eyes widened and he threw up the remains of his stomach into the bowl. No… no… those words rang through his mind like a persistent bell, making him remember what had happened, what made him this way. A tear fell from his eye and onto the toilet seat, and he knew that the other boy-it had to be a boy because it was the male restroom, after all-probably heard him before, but he wished with all his might that he would leave, just leave, no questions asked.

Wish denied.

When did his wishes ever get granted anyways?

"Some one else in here?"

He ignored it, wondering if maybe, just maybe this kid was blind and wouldn't see the legs from under the stall door.

"Hey, I know you're there, don't ignore me."

There were footsteps, and the stall door flung open, he mentally slapped himself for not locking it. But his blank face was on, and he just blinked up at the tall boy with striking red hair, school uniform tight compared to Roxas' baggy one, not that he cared… he had chosen the baggy one.

After a few seconds some realization came to Roxas' mind. This was the boy who had strutted into second period this morning, wearing a proud face and shooting Roxas a small smirk, one that made him sink his shoulders down and shudder in fear, he thought that he hated him right then. Roxas hated everyone he met after, what doctors called, 'the incident'. All of them were so goddamn happy, bubbly, not knowing what really went on in the cruel world. So, really, it wasn't anything personal to red-haired boy, not at all.

He hated the fake-concern that spread across Reddie's face, Roxas deemed that as his name, the hair and all.

"Are you okay?"

After using his sleeve to wipe any leftovers from his mouth, he placed a half-smile on his lips and forced himself up. "Fine." Then he pulled the cleaner sleeve of his uniform over his hand and flushed down his mess, the whirls of the water making a small smile on his face, a sad one, useless things got flushed. Roxas liked to use things to symbolize death with many things, so he could write and not have people peering over his shoulders calling him suicidal. Was he? He wasn't sure himself.

Lightly he brushed past Reddie, so he could reach the sink and splash some water into his mouth, wash out the taste. Roxas could tell Reddie wasn't going to give up so easily. And he hated him more. Why wouldn't he just leave him alone? All Roxas wanted was to be alone. No one understood it, no one understood him. Except for…

"You're the new kid, right?" His fists clenched as he heard the 'new kid' title placed upon him again, "No one told you not to eat the school food?"

What the hell was he talking about? And then it clicked in Roxas' mind, Reddie thought he was sick from lunch, but he didn't know that all Roxas had for lunch was a piece of bread and water. But minus the bread, really, because he had torn that up into small pieces and threw it away.

"No."

Reddie blinked, a frown etched onto his face at Roxas' un-friendly behavior.

"Name's Axel, got it memorized?"

"No."

So Reddie had a name, Axel, but Roxas should have known this, considering he had had first and second period with him. But he never planned to stay long in this school, so he never wanted to learn people's names, and he never wanted to socialize with them. That was why he had his one-word answers, so they would take a hint and leave, so his heart would stop pounding in his chest and his arms would stop trembling.

Axel tapped his foot and walked in front of him when Roxas swung his school-bag over his shoulder and headed towards the door, succeeding in stopping the blonde boy from leaving. He wasn't going to let him leave until he got answers and… he had a bet going on this, too…

-


"Heeeey, Axel, I'm really bored." Cooed his longest friend, Riku, as he ran a hand through his silver hair and sent a glance back at him. He looked over at the teacher, with a smirk dancing on his lips. Axel knew that he had something in mind. And it was only first period.

Axel raised his eyebrows as he waited to be informed of what was on his friends mind, something good, obviously, he could tell by the look in his eyes.

"I have a bet." This interested Axel. A lot. And Riku continued, "I bet you that I can fuck little twitchy over there before you…" By 'little twitchy' he had been referring to Roxas, the new kid, who everyone strayed away from because of the weird way he had been acting. Some people took it upon themselves to already started pointing fun at him. Axel had felt a little guilty, because he wasn't about to go stick up for him, reputation of course, but… well, he had thought if you got around the deathly-pale skin and black bags tired under his eyes that he was kind of cute. Kind of being the key words.

But Axel wasn't one to pass up a bet. "What does the winner get?"

"The other has to shave his head."

They both smirked, shaking hands and turning back to the lesson, determined to win this bet. Because, of course, neither wanted to shave their heads.

-

Roxas looked up at Axel, who was very tall, and loomed over him, he felt like he was going to get punched, black out, and wake up to the putrid smell of the bathroom, only then he would be sprawled on the disgusting tiles.

"What's wrong with you? I just want to help."

He felt his throat fill up, and he raced back towards the toilet, hanging his head over it and releasing everything from his mouth, throwing up whatever was left of his stomach. Just when he thought he was done, Axel had to say that… People never wanted to help, they just wanted to look good and get paid, everyone had a reason for doing a so-called 'selfless' act, some were just good at hiding it.

Beads of sweat ran down his back as he straightened himself up and pushed past Axel to get to the door, not bothering to re-wash out his mouth, he just wanted away from him. He wanted away from everything. Roxas slammed the door shut and his knees buckled underneath him, so he should have smacked his head on the school's ugly carpeting, but was caught by a boy with silver hair, who steadied his shoulders and set him up straight.

A kind smile was on the boys face, "Whoa there!"

"S-sorry."

"Roxas, right? The gym teacher told me to come find you. I'm Riku."

It would make sense that Riku was in his class, just by one look at the clothes he was in. A grey t-shirt that said 'Kingdom high school' across it in blue letters, and blue shorts that said the same thing on the thigh in grey letters. Gym clothes. So Roxas didn't mind him, he admitted that he wasn't searching for him out of his own worry, and he had remembered his name.

"Oh… I-I got lost, I'm sorry, can-can you help me?"

Riku held in an urge to ask why the shorter boy's breath was so foul, but noted that he had just left the restroom. Bulimic? Didn't seem like the type… wait, had Roxas eaten the school food?

"Of course, follow me; I'm sure you don't have to suite-up on your first day." For which Roxas was some-what grateful. If only he had been allowed to stay in the bathroom for twenty more minutes he wouldn't even had to face the horror of gym. Riku would probably join the others in picking fun at him when he got there; he probably was only acting nice right now because he had to.

But one look at those eyes and Roxas was sure that Riku meant well.

Because those eyes reminded him of…

Roxas followed after him, not glancing back to see the glare from Axel directed at the back of Riku's head, but Riku smirked to himself knowingly. There was no way in hell he was going to shave his head. Axel would look rather nice bald.

-

Gym class hadn't been so bad; Riku stayed by his side the whole time, sitting with him up on the bleachers and watching the others play basketball. He used to play soccer.The words 'used to' and 'Roxas' were often put together when his parents spoke to each other, or the therapists.

Roxas used to have a lot of friends.

Roxas used to always smile.

Roxas used to make really good cookies and cakes.

Roxas never used to be like this…

Riku had given him a piece of very appreciated gum, and he was still chewing it as he sat on the cold steps of the school, a book held in his pale hands, 'Battle Royale'. He was at the part where the girl shoved her nails into the guys eye sockets and… Roxas stopped reading when he felt a tap on his shoulder, looking up at the person who had touched him. Uck, Axel, but Riku was right next to him, so he didn't feel so awful.

"Does that gum still have flavor?" Riku asked, laughing when he saw Roxas still chewing the strawberry gum, and waiting for an answer, knowing it was pissing Axel off to see how close he was with the blonde boy.

Roxas blinked and shook his head no, surprised when Axel reached into his pocket and held out a stick of gum for him, he was skeptical if he should take it or not, but was getting bored of the flavorless gum, and took it with a small smile, while on the inside he was wondering when the two would leave. "Thank y-you." He un-wrapped it, spit out his old gum, and placed the new piece into his mouth. Grape. These two boys were interesting. And he couldn't tell why two popular guys would hang around the 'new kid' so openly. There had to be a catch. There was always a catch.

Axel peered down at the piece of literature in his hands and grinned, "I loved that book."

The silver haired boy elbowed him in the stomach, "Damn, Axel, I didn't know you could read."

He just blinked as they both laughed at the joke, and breathed in small gasps. When would his mom show up? He wanted his mom right now, so she could drop him by the new therapists and he wouldn't have to worry about what the two boys were up to. Then he wanted to go back to the new house, note that he didn't say home because it wasn't a home. A home was a place you spent your first steps, a place that wasn't surrounded by boxes, a place you enjoyed going back to.

Roxas hadn't had a home in a long time.

School had let out a half hour ago, and his mom had a tendency of running late, so it only made it more suspicious that the other two were there at the school along with him, surely they were the last kids left other than the sports teams, who Roxas knew were in practice.

Riku knelt down beside Roxas and offered a kind smile, "Are we boring you? You seem to be in your own little world."

He had no idea.

Instead of answering he forced a smile onto his face and shook his head. Then averted his eyes down to his book where he was about to fold the page over to mark his place, but Axel's warm hands stopped him and held out a little book mark.

"Use this; you'll ruin the book if you do that."

Roxas gulped and nodded, pulling his hands from underneath the red-heads so he could shove the book mark in, not even bothering to look what was on it. "T-thank you." He murmured again.

From across the parking lot he could hear heels clicking on the pavement and his name being called out by a pretty woman, she looked like she was in her late twenties, when in all reality she was in her early forties. Blonde hair, the color of Roxas', was cut straight to her shoulders, and she wore business attire. "Roxas! I'm so sorry I'm late, there was a meeting, because it was my first day and-" She stopped when she saw the other two boys on either side of her son, trying to think back to the last time she had seen people around Roxas who weren't just beating him up or making fun of him. And she couldn't even remember.

"Hello, I'm Azmaria Frinand, Roxas' mother, and who might you two boys be?" She actually couldn't be sure that these two weren't picking on Roxas, so her eyes were in narrow slits, because if they were messing with him they'd never show their faces again.

"I'm Riku, and this is Axel," Riku could see the dark look in the woman's eyes, "We were wondering why Roxas was out here so long."

Roxas stuffed his book into his school-bag and stood up, giving a small wave back at them as his mother wrapped her arms around his shoulders and comfortingly kissed the top of his head. They stayed in that position until they reached their black van and got inside, driving away to leave Riku and Axel alone on the school steps.

At the same time they both said, "That kid is really weird."

-

Roxas watched his mother walk out of the doors of the office, promising to pick him up when his shift with the therapist was over. He squirmed in the hard green plastic chair and tried to ignore the soft smile the receptionist was shooting him, and the old man in the chair next to him who seemed to be coughing up a lung. This place was in really bad shape. Paint was chipping off the walls, there were holes in the chairs, and he was pretty sure he just saw a spider scurry across the floor. So he shivered, and pulled his knee's up to his chest.

While he waited he took out his book, now taking time to look at the bookmark he had been given. There was a puppy and a kitten, the puppy had orange fur while the kitten had a light yellow, cuddled together, and underneath it said, 'Opposites attract.' He raised an eyebrow and smiled lightly at the cute picture then began to read where he had left off.

He hadn't read more than two minutes when his name as called out, "Roxas Frinand, the doctor will see you now."

This person wasn't a doctor, because doctors healed you, made you get better. And Roxas knew he would never get better, not unless someone magically rewound time to that day…

He stood up with his book clutched in one hand, school-bag in the other, walking on quiet feet down the hallway to the room he had been told to go, when he was at the door he stuffed his book away and pushed the door open, flinching when it made a loud creak. Before he looked up at the 'doctor' he set his bag down next to the chair that was in front of the desk, and then sat down in the seat. But he nearly fell over when he looked up at the handsome but childish looking-man, whose name was printed on the little name-tag on the desk.

Sora Withern.

All of the other therapists had been old and boring looking. But this one was so different. Spiky, brown hair, deep eyes, and disheveled looking clothing, like he had just woken up. The blanket on the couch next to the desk proved this statement true. And he didn't know it then, but he was developing a crush on the older man. Roxas wanted to talk with him, wanted to spill his guts to him. Of course he didn't, not right away or anything, because Mr. Withern had started to talk.

"Roxas, huh? I hear you don't like talking with people. Pl----ease, talk with me, okay? I mean, I could lose my job and stuff, plus… I don't want to have to tickle you into talking. Okay?"

At that point he kind of wanted to be tickled by him.

"And call me 'Sora', I'm only twenty-two, last names make me feel old."

No, no. Sora defiantly wasn't old. Still, Roxas felt himself breathing in large gasps, trying desperately to calm his nerves down, but only making it so Sora stood up and rushed over to kneel in front of him, checking if he would be alright. This only made it worse, the grape gum in his mouth was the only thing keeping him from vomiting.

Five minutes later he was back to normal breathing, and Sora was back in his chair, looking softly at the blonde boy, who fidgeted in his chair. Today he wouldn't make him talk about it, what happened, he wanted him to be comfortable. So instead he reached under his desk and pulled out…

"Wanna play monopoly? It's Disney version."

And thus Roxas and Sora were on the floor in the cramped office, playing monopoly, and Roxas was actually saying more than one-word answers.

"I haven't played this in forever…" He murmured, his eyes cast down as he moved his little Mickey Mouse piece across the board, collecting two-hundred dollars when he passed 'GO'. Sora picked up the dice and threw them eagerly at the board, groaning when he got snake eyes and only got to move two, and onto Roxas' property. One where there were three hotels. No luck at all.

"How much do I owe you?"

The blonde picked up his little card, adding up the price in his head, "Uhm… Three thousand dollars." His face fell when he heard this, and Sora counted all the money he had. There wasn't even half-enough for it.

"I guess… you win? Time's up anyways."

Both of them seemed disappointed at this, but reassured that he would be coming back the day after the next. So Roxas helped pick up the board game and grabbed his bag.

Sora was excited to see Roxas again when he left, he never got excited over seeing a patient again. They were always such whiners, saying they had real problems, when, compared to Roxas', they had none at all. Other than feeling depressed. Normal people who felt depressed didn't need therapists, just a little time to think and get over the situation. Like that man who had a freaking toothache and said it hurt so bad he nearly killed himself. Why didn't he just visit the fucking dentist? Sora didn't really think these things, he was too nice, but… he wanted to so bad.

And Roxas? He left the office feeling normal for the first time in a very, very long time.

-

Roxas pulled out his phone once he reached outside of the building, and noticed he had missed a message, he held the phone to his ear and listened as his mother's voice came flooding out.

"Hey, Roxas hunny? Something came up at the office, so now I'm stuck there; take the bus home, okay? Take bus number nine, get off at the fifth stop and then keep walking down twenty-third street, you'll see the house, okay? Love you, and be careful."

Great, just great, he barely even knew which house was his. But it wasn't like he could just call his mother up and beg her to pick him up when she was at work, and his father was still at work too, so he would have to start walking if he wanted to reach the bus-stop.

The cold wind whipped at his face as he started to the general direction of the bus stop he remembered passing on the drive there. He walked for about ten minutes before realizing he was hopelessly lost, and then panic started to seize him. Even as the tears rolled down his cheeks he kept walking, scared that if he didn't move he would stay lost, and get murdered by some passing gang. This really wasn't a good neighborhood.

A truck came to a stop next to him, and he froze as he heard the door open. Breath held in his throat, waiting to see who his murderer would be when he saw…

Axel!

"Hey, you need a lift?" The red-head noticed the pink on Roxas' cheeks from walking against the wind, and the lines of tears that streamed down his face. It was by chance he had seen him walking, though, because he had been driving to the store, saw a patch of blonde hair in school uniform, and stopped to see little Roxas.

A nod, and without a word Roxas got into the heated car, Axel settling back into his place as driver. Normally Roxas would prefer walking, but… he was lost, and scared, and cold. So he thought he would ride with this boy for good measure. He pulled the seatbelt over his chest, setting his bag on the floor of the surprisingly clean car. Axel looked like on of those guys who were dirty… a slob. This kind of proved he wasn't, though, and Roxas felt a little guilty for thinking of him that way. Oh well… wasn't like Axel was a mind-reader, right?

"Clean, aren't I?"

Oh my god! Axel was a fucking mind reader!

Roxas nodded and averted his eyes out the window, watching the buildings pass by in a big blur. Like when you sat on a spinning chair and pushed yourself around and around in circles, only stopping when you felt your head was going to spin off. Only this car didn't go quite as fast.

When asked, he said his address. But he still didn't move his eyes from the window. This made Axel want to rip out his hair and strangle him with it, but then… he'd be bald without even finishing the bet. And then Riku would laugh his ass off when he explained why he had no hair left, cracking jokes about how impatient he was.

But… Roxas was far from a normal kid. There was a sadness in his eyes that never seemed to go away, even when there was a smile on his face. Hell, Roxas' smiles were sad! You could tell, though, if he was actually happy he'd be quite a cute kid.

And why… why did Axel want to comfort him so bad?

The drive went on in silence. Not once did Roxas so much as glance at him. But, being Axel, he wasn't going to let the kid get away without talking.

"Why is your uniform all dirty?" He asked, referring to the grass and dirt stains on the knees.

Roxas moved his head to glance down at his uniform, remembering after lunch…

-

Roxas threw away the torn up piece of bread and swung his school-bag over his shoulder, deciding to go sit outside near a tree he had seen, so he could read in peace until the bell rang. He walked past groups of people, all of them shooting him dirty looks as he went by. It's not that he wasn't used to that type of treatment, because he knew no one wanted to risk being call a freak if they were caught talking to the new kid, but he really hated these type of people. Errr… he hated people in general.

He swept his bangs from his forehead and settled under the shady part of the tree. His book was out, but he wasn't focusing on the text. Instead he was thinking about the way he had been treated-or not been treated-that day. No one but the teachers had dared to actually speak with him. But… Actions spoke louder than words. What gave people who didn't even know him the right to send him glares as he walked down the hallway? Or to snort when the teacher tried to introduce him? Then again, Roxas had kept his head down to stare at his feet the whole time, hair covering his face, and only looking at the other students from the corners of his eyes.

Foot-steps. Some one… no, there was more than one… A group of people were coming towards him, and the hair stood up on the back of his neck, because he was almost completely sure that they weren't coming over to have a nice chat with him. How did he know this? Because at the other schools he went to he always got beat up by the 'macho-so-cool' guys, who were actually the weak ones. At least that's what his mom said. Physically strong, but emotionally weak.

"Hey new kid! What's your problem?" Said the blonde one he recognized from his third period, Seifer.

Roxas was confused by this. They were the ones bugging him; they were the ones with the problem. But he just bit his lip, trying to identify the others surrounding him. There were five, and he knew the two blondes, Hayner and Seifer, who hung around together, but Roxas could see that they disliked each other a lot. There had to be some reason they were tolerating each other but… he had no time to think about that, because he got a sharp punch into his gut as a reward for his lack of reply.

If you've never been punched in the stomach area then just imagine a giant cat pouncing at you with its claws out.

"Answer me next time! What the hell is wrong with you?" Seifer demanded, a snarl coming across his face. The face almost made Roxas laugh, almost. But his anxiety started to act up, so he was sucking in deep breaths, and he was nervous about what they were going to do to him.

One with brown hair grabbed his shoulders and forced him up, the book falling into the grass. And just as soon as he had gotten up he was thrown down onto his knees to join his book on the ground. He closed his eyes, and prayed to a god he didn't believe in to make it be over, even though he knew it wouldn't help.

To his amazement, the only thing that happened next was that each of them kicked him in the sides. It hurt, of course, but they were leaving! That cancelled out the pain.

Seifer's voice called out, "You really have some issues, next time we won't be so nice."

That was the reason he had stains on his uniform, and why he had been puking in the first place but…

-

Hell if Roxas was going to tell Axel his story. He'd probably laugh at how pathetic he was.

"I fell." He answered shortly, blue eyes shifting to look at Axel when he snorted, obviously not believing his answer.

Axel pulled into Roxas' driveway, and opened his mouth to say something about it, but Roxas and his bag was gone before he was able to utter a word. He looked up to see the blonde boy at the front door searching through his pockets to find his key, apparently, and when he found it having trouble getting it in the key hole.

Before he entered his house he turned around and waved at Axel, then bolted into the house.

Yes. This kid defiantly needed some work.

-

AN: I'm not really sure where this is going, or if it's going anywhere, but just because it's marked as an Axel x Roxas story doesn't mean it will end up as that.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or anything else, so don't sue… please?!

R & R!