I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel. They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB television network

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Story takes place after Chosen. It assumes Spike becomes human as a result of his heroic actions.

Return of the Martyr
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Buffy's mouth hung open in complete surprise. She leaned against the open door fearing she would collapse at any moment. She didn't know what to say. Thank goodness Dawn was at the mall with Aunt Arleen.

Spike's grin was as wide as a mile. "May I come in?" He waited for an answer. She was speechless. "Not that I have to wait to be invited these days." He laughed.

It was only then that Buffy realized it was board daylight. Sunny not a cloud in the sky, the weatherman had predicted and he hadn't been wrong. "You're not smoking?"

"I hear cigarettes can kill you." He grinned. "I guess I have to worry about those things now."

She reached out her hand to touch his chest. But she quickly withdrew her fingers not trusting her emotions. Spike caught her hand and pressed it to his chest. She closed her eyes as the sensation spread up her arm, the sight vibration of a living beating heart. She pulled her hand away. She was shaking.

Pleased with her reaction, he asked again. "Come on slayer invite me in. It was a long walk from the bus station."

Buffy stood back and let him enter. He sunk down in the overstuffed chair. Buffy closed the door. She was slow to turn around. "I saw you burn. I thought you were dead." She whispered. Her full voice betrayed her.

He smirked. He spread his hands in a gesture, which screamed "Duh."

Buffy scowled at him. "I mean really dead...dust...ash."

"So did I." He shrugged. "And I think I was. But after the fire there I was, like a phoenix, buck naked and covered with ash..."

"And human..." She turned to look at her old enemy, lover, friend. Hell she didn't know what he was. "And you came all this way..."

"To find you." He finished her sentence. "Anya told me where you were. You knew Xander found her?"

Buffy nodded. "Xander called. I must admit I wondered about you...if you might have survived."

He cocked his head and looked at her hard. "But not enough to try and find out..."

"No" She answered quickly

An awkward silence grew between them. Buffy sat on the sofa. She couldn't look at him. What was wrong with her? This was just Spike. Why was it so hard to accept he was alive and sitting in her aunt's living room? He looked good. His skin was flushed no longer pale. His thin frame was more filled out. He looked healthy. But here he was back in her life, her new life. What did he want? What did he expect?

As usual Spike read her mood. He remembered her words at the very end. Their hands were together burning. "I love you," she had said. He would never forget that moment. "Its all right slayer. I told you. I knew you didn't mean it."

There it was out in the open. Buffy should have been relieved but she wasn't. "I did. I mean. I did when I said it." She spoke quietly.

"When you thought I was dying?" Spike countered.

"Yes. No I mean..." What did she mean? She owed him so much but she couldn't she. "What do you want Spike?"

"I thought you might have a passing interest." He watched her carefully. "I thought you would want to know I was alive."

"What and all the phone lines between here and Sunnydale are down?" Her snappy reply a defense against her confused feelings.

"Well, yes." He smirked. "Now that you mention it."

"And you thought you would just come out here..." She was getting angry. "... And what things would take up like they were before."

He looked at the floor. This was why he came. Why couldn't he just say it? "I thought we had a connection."

"We did. We were close, closer than I have been with anyone in a long time." She paused

"Closer than with Angel?" He asked

"Stop. Stop that right now." Buffy hugged herself tightly. "Angel is..." She smiled. On the coffee table was the gift Angel had sent her. 101 Cookies Recipes "...Angel."

"Bugger, what does that mean? "

"We agreed not to talk about this but if you insist." She took a deep breath. She had thought a lot about Angel in the last few weeks. "It means Spike I will always love him...always be in love with him. It doesn't mean we can ever be together. But it does mean we will never be truly apart."

He tapped his fingers on the chair's arm, his annoyance obvious. "So things are just the same for old Spike, tagging after the Slayer, patrolling the grave yard, watching your back"

"No." She said firmly

"No?" He asked with that madding lilt in his voice

"I have started a new life." She explained. "I am enrolling at Northwestern. There is no midnight patrolling, no graveyards, and no hellmouth. There are other slayers out there taking care of business. Not that I won't slay a vamp if I trip over one.

"And me?" It was almost a plea.

"Spike I don't know what to say." She fought back tears. "You were wonderful. You endured trials to get your soul. Tortured by the First you didn't give in. You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. You died to save..."

"Christ Buffy!" He shouted. "By your description I'm bloody saint. Saint Spike, a martyr burned at the stake."

Buffy smiled. "You were a champion."

"But there's no room for a champion in your life now?" It was a question he knew the answer to but he had to ask it."

Buffy was silent

Spike waited. He knew she was conflicted. Maybe he could make it easier. "Dru took a liking to a British bloke who wrote plays named Shaw. She almost turned him so he would write just for her. He wrote about St Joan. In the end of the play after she was dead and all these characters stand around talking about how good she was, and how she saved the day and they couldn't get on without her. And there she is listening to all of it. So she says Hell if you miss be so much I'll come back. The other characters they can't get off the stage fast enough. See she was better for being dead...alive she was just a complication. That's what I am. Isn't that right? A complication for your brand new life. A nice memory as long as I stay a memory."

"Spike..." She wanted to protest but he was right. She hated herself but he was right. He was a complication.

"Don't." He stopped her before she would say something out of pity. Something she didn't mean. "I know the drill. I think it's time I got myself an new life. I have been a monster for a long time. Maybe its time I figured out how to live as a man."

"A champion." She corrected him.

"Whatever." He stood up and started for the door. Then stopped to look at her. To get an image he could take with him. "Slayer in the movies the hero always kisses the girl before he rides off into the sunset."

Buffy smiled and opened her arms. Spike leaned into a gentle kiss. Touching nothing but her lips, he held the moment. He finished with a wink and a grin. He swaggered to the door. Tipping his hand in a mock salute "High Ho Slayer!" The door closed behind him. Buffy watched him disappearing down the walk. "Who was that man?" She thought. "I wanted to thank him."

The End