The days following the Resistance's escape from Crait were hard on everyone. The hope that had sustained them was wearing thin as they searched for a safe place to regroup and rebuild.
Leia struggled to maintain her spark, the loss of her brother and of so many members of the Resistance, some of whom had been there since the days of the Empire, had hit her hard and heavy. Their numbers were so few and their only ship was a constant reminder of her late husband and of the son who had killed him…
And it was one of the most recognisable and notorious ships in the Galaxy.
Despite not knowing Luke for very long, and that the last time she saw him, she had fought him, Rey felt his loss keenly… and the guilt over her last words to him, the fact that he had turned out to be right about Be- no, Kylo Ren, ate at her insides like acid.
How could she have been so wrong? How could she had misinterpreted what the Force had been telling her so badly? Would it have turned out differently? Could she have somehow made him change his mind? Had it been her fault that he hadn't turned? There was no way to know for sure, but she felt that she had failed.
Failed everyone.
Despite this, it seemed that the remaining members of the Resistance thought of her as some sort of savour, as if she were a beacon of hope, a talisman of possibility; but she wasn't. She had nothing, knew nothing... the Jedi Texts were so archaic that she had trouble deciphering them, and besides, how could she be a Jedi when she was so useless? So unworthy?
Kylo Ren had been right, she was nothing… Yet she was all they had, and despite the fact that she couldn't see any way that they could win now, she had to try, she would not, could not, desert them.
The Falcon was cramped, people slept in shifts, the bunks were for the wounded so everyone else simply bedded down on the floor.
Almost everyone seemed to treat Rey as if she were something more, something mystical and unapproachable.
She kept herself busy, piloting or fixing the numerous things that went wrong with the decrepit ship. When she slept, when she exhausted her body to the point where she could no longer stay awake, she would curl up in any quiet, out of the way corner she could find… because everytime she slept, she had nightmares.
Upon waking, she would have no memory of what they were about, just impressions of fear and anguish, just the hammering of her heart and the tears that streaked her face.
What made it everything worse, was that she missed him.
Despite Snoke's death, their bond continued to exist. The last time she saw him, as she had physically closed the boarding ramp, she had somehow managed to close herself off from the bond at the same time.
There had been no more connections; which should have made her happy, made her feel safe, but instead, she felt his loss like a yawning black abyss inside her. Perhaps it was why she couldn't sleep peacefully, but she had no desire to test that theory. And so she suffered as silently as she could. Alone.
Until the sixth day after Crait.
Rey had fallen into an exhausted heap, dreading closing her eyes but unable to keep them open any longer.
This time, her terror was cut short, she awoke to gentle hands shaking her. Her eyes flew open and she gasped, breath hitching as she sat up abruptly, hands flailing defensively until her wrists were gripped, "It's okay, Rey, it's just me."
She took a shuddering breath in as her body stilled and she saw it was Poe. She blushed and he let her wrists go as she cleared her throat and tried to get her breathing under control as she hurriedly wiped her face, "Is it the First Order?"
Poe gave her a small, reassuring smile, "No, nothing like that… You were having a nightmare, so I woke you up."
"Oh," Rey answered awkwardly, darting her eyes away from him, "Sorry."
He gave a small laugh, "You don't need to apologise…" he paused, then said seriously, "You've been having them a lot, haven't you?"
Rey shifted uneasily, Poe was a legend among the Resistance, a thorn in the First Order's side, and here she was crying like a child in front of him, "I'm sure they'll stop eventually," she muttered.
He hesitated, then said carefully, "I used to get them too, I always found my subconscious was kinder to me if I were sleeping with someone else."
Rey blushed again, and tried to shrug it off as she said, "Finn's caring for Rose at the moment and I think everyone else is uncomfortable around me. I'll be fine. Thanks though."
Poe held up a blanket she hadn't noticed he had in his hands, "I'm on my break and too tired to be uncomfortable around the last Jedi," he gave her a small, lopsided smile.
"Oh," Rey felt like she should protest, she didn't want to disturb his rest as well as her own, but her eyelids were already slipping shut, "Okay then."
They lay down together, Poe spooning her back and reaching an arm around to pull her against his chest. Yet it didn't feel wrong, the warmth of his presence relaxed her, she could feel the muscles of her shoulders and back untensing a little as her body pulled her back to sleep...
'~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~'
After his ascendency to Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren had recalled his Knights to the Conqueror, which he had taken for his flagship as the Supremacy was now nothing but debris floating in space.
It was obvious from the outset that he could not trust Hux, the sniveling red headed weasel was bound to attempt to wrest power from him at some point, and the official body guards of the Supreme leader, the Praetorian Guard's, were very, very dead.
There were few beings that Kylo could trust, and none of them were completely trustworthy, but his Knights came close enough, and none of them had any love for the General.
Kylo planned to get rid of Hux as soon as things calmed down and he was able to cement his rule, he just had to be patient.
It was not something he was good at.
In the days following the disaster that was the destruction of the Supremacy, the death of Snoke (though admittedly, he did not see that as a disaster), and the escape of what was left of the cursed Resistance, he had had very little time to dwell on her rejection.
Or at least, he shouldn't have, he shouldn't have given her any thought at all, other than how to find her and kill her… But her rejection ate at him, gnawed his insides, churning in his gut.
After all he had done for her, with all he had offered her, she had still rejected him. And then, she had closed off the bond. It should have been a relief - until he devised a way to manipulate it so he could track her using it, or somehow see her surroundings, it was useless… and yet, it just felt like another rejection.
And he hated it.
Hated that he missed her, missed the connection, the feeling that he wasn't alone. But he was.
But on the sixth day of his leadership, as he entered his rooms for an hour of rest, he suddenly felt her once more, all the sound was sucked away as they connected again.
For a moment, he didn't look at her, he couldn't. The whirlwind of emotion that welled up inside him was a bewildering combination of fury and relief, hope and resentment.
She said nothing as he got himself under control, did this mean she would ignore him? Or was she doing something similar to him? Did she feel this turmoil too?
When he had command of himself and was able to turn around, he found that this was not a typical connection, not like their previous ones.
He lost his control as black rage surged inside him.
Rey was asleep, face serene, beautiful; even with the dark smudges under her eyes she radiated peace. But she was not alone.
For the first time, he could see someone other than herself. There was a man curled around her, his arm holding her against his chest possessively. They were both clothed, sharing a blanket.
Searing jealousy made Kylo's fists clench as he walked towards where they lay, both seemingly untroubled by his presence.
It was Poe Dameron. Poe kriffing Dameron was sleeping with Rey, with his bondmate.
Kylo had often thought of killing her, of letting her die along with the past so he could move on uninhibited. Yet in his heart of hearts, dark though it was, he knew that he could never kill her… and there was even a possibility that doing so may harm him too, it was a risk he was not prepared to take.
He could kill Dameron though.
With a savage roar he ripped his lightsaber from his belt and activated it, its crackling red beam as unstable as him at that moment.
Rey jerked awake, her eyes suddenly wide open as she took him in, then she was springing to her feet, and as her body lost contact with Dameron, he disappeared.
"When I find you, I will rip him to shreds!"
Apparently she was too confused by this statement, for all she said was, "What? Who?"
Kylo dropped his saber to his side as he spat, "Dameron!"
"Wait, you could see Poe?" If anything she looked shocked.
Kylo sneered, "He was hard to miss," he said as he deactivated his saber, needing something to do.
Her features settled into an angry frown and she turned her back to him, increasing the space between them.
Kylo took a breath, tried to calm himself before walking after her, "I'd spare them, if you'd come to me willingly. Even Dameron would go free."
She didn't turn to look at him as she gave a short, mirthless laugh, "I don't think I'm quite ready to give up and be executed, if I ever do I promise you, you'll be the first to know."
Kylo blinked, shook his head even though she couldn't see him, "Why do you think I'd execute you?"
"Probably because you told the First Order that it was I who killed Snoke!" She scoffed.
Kylo grimaced, "That doesn't matter, I wouldn't have you killed, I'd have you by my side, where you belong."
He heard her breathing hitch, watched as her shoulders tensed, "If I belong anywhere, it is with the Resistance."
He felt her start to try and close their connection, pushing against it, trying to pull it apart. "Look at me, damn you!" His gloved hands made contact with her shoulders and he spun her around to face him.
Her angry eyes were wet but no tears had fallen yet, making the green in her hazel eyes startlingly bright.
Rey pushed him away, "I don't want to look at you ever again! I blocked you for a reason! But of course you have to appear and ruin the one time I manage to sleep, the one time I'm not tormented by nightmares! You couldn't even let me have that, could you?"
Kylo had been surprised by the vehemence of her response, he could feel that thread of darkness she hid away inside herself. He should have tried to encourage it to grow, fanned the flames, but he was diverted by her admission, "You've been having nightmares too?"
She paused, warily looking up at him before slowly saying, "Yes. Everytime I close my eyes… that was why... why Poe was with me," here her cheeks flamed, "He thought it may help."
Kylo could feel his lip curl as he clenched his fists, "I'll bet he did."
Once again they were both angry, "It did! That was the first time I'd slept normally, and you ruined it!"
Kylo remembered her expression of peace when she had first appeared; he swallowed, took a deep breath to try and steady himself before saying, "Would it work if you slept with me?"
Her lips parted in astonishment, her cheeks flaring red yet again, "I… what?"
Kylo could feel his ears begin to burn underneath his hair, "I've been getting the nightmares too, perhaps we could… just try, maybe, sleeping at the same time, together."
Rey laughed incredulously, "You must be utterly mad, if you think I would…"
Kylo didn't let her finish her sentence, he waved his hand and pushed her into unconsciousness, catching her before she fell, just like on Takodana, where this all began.
It had been an impulsive move, and he almost expected her to disappear as their connection closed, but it didn't and she didn't.
So he carried her to his bed, not even bothering to remove his boots, he laid her down and curled his body around her, just like Dameron, pulling her against his chest and holding her to him.
She fit perfectly, like they were made for each other.
His eyes slid shut almost immediately as an overwhelming sense of peace came over him, and he let sleep take him with her.
'~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~'
Rey awoke some time later, a warm presence at her back and a smile on her face. She felt fully rested, rejuvenated.
She was shocked when she opened her eyes, to find herself on a bed, with a strong arm ending in a leather gloved hand curled tightly around her.
Her heart almost stopped beating, the breath stilled in her lungs as she realised whose arm it was… but he had been right, she had had no nightmares and she could feel that his mind was quiet too, calm as he slept on.
For a moment she lay there, allowing a secret part of herself to enjoy the closeness, to enjoy the feeling of belonging. The only other time she had felt this way was when they had touched hands on Ahch-To, when they had fought together against Snoke's guards.
Then he shifted in his sleep, arm tightening around her, and with an effort and some regret, she forced their connection to close.
She found herself on the floor, quite a way away from Poe, who was somehow still asleep. She had no idea how long she'd been out, she pushed thoughts of what had happened to the back of her mind and stood, straightening her clothes before heading to the cockpit to relieve Chewie.
She didn't have the heart to analyse any of this right now. She wasn't strong enough for the answers she'd find.
Perhaps she never would be.
'~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~'
Kylo woke to find Rey gone, yet there was a warm patch where she had lain and he knew it had not been a dream.
He felt rested - well and truly revived.
He had been right.
This only confirmed his belief that they belonged together.
The Force willed it.
Rey would come to realise that it was he that she was missing, that he was the belonging she sought.
He stood, body and mind reinvigorated with energy and purpose. Her distance, her disillusion, was temporary.
He would either find her, or she would come to him, either way, it was only a matter of time.