Red Water Mine!
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist/Hagane No Renkinjutsushi and all related characters are copyrighted and owned by Hiromu Arakawa, Sony, Bones, Aniplex, etc., etc. I do not own the series or any of the characters mentioned hereon, and I don't want to. Instead, I'd like to own a Fortune 500 company that sells nuclear arms to the Danes. All film quotes that might be recognized in this fanfic are copyrighted and owned by their creators and companies.
Now before you read this fanfiction, there are some things that you should know:
Riza and Roy WILL NOT be paired up. Don't worry though, because he's in the story. Instead, it will be Riza and Maes. The reason I did this is because in this AU, the general populace doesn't know and practice alchemy, but it does exist. Since Mustang doesn't have his flame alchemy, I decided to use Maes instead, since he has some skill in bladed weapons. Besides, I feel that he didn't get enough play time with his death and all. So sad. :(
All the characters retain their original personalities, but some live in some different situations. Mostly, Ed lives with Winry in a shabby home, really shabby. The Homunculi are also quite different as well. I'm sorry if that offends any hardcore fans, but don't worry, as Ed does give them their just desserts.
I poke fun at all the characters included in this fanfic at one time or the other.
I'm just making them a little bit more wacky and stupid, like when the military guys run around like idiots. It's all in good fun. Again, I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but geez, lighten up. They're just two-dimensional animation characters. They're not gonna pop out the T.V. and sue.
The epilogue featured at the end is extremely strange and out-there. If you're a fan of Roy+Riza or Ed+Win, I don't think that you should read it. But, if you like crap that makes no sense and is warped, then read along. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Chapter 1
It was a small and dusty town, unremarkably like every other town that pockmarked the surface of the West. Erected during the great migration towards open freedom and insanely fictitious riches, it sat in the middle of the sands, daily beaten by the harsh winds of the desert. Small, wooden structures lined up parallel to each other in neat rows, something akin to the John Wayne movies. They were tattooed with such words as saloon, hardware, general store, blacksmith, and the like. Some weren't marked at all, as they were used for less than scrupulous means. Men loved them. You know why.
People were milling back and forth, busy with their routine. Immigrants, farmers, merchants, prospectors, adventurers, farmers, craftsmen; all sloshing through their lives. Ordinary people, with ordinary notions. Am extraordinary event would shatter all that.
A young girl carrying a newborn stumbled outside of the saloon followed by three good-sized men. Her skin was the color of dark copper, and her hair was flanked with pink at both sides. Total freakazoid there. She fell, then scrambled to her feet and ran. Up ahead, three more men rounded the corner and blocked her path. She was trapped like a rat.
The grizzled leader strode up to her, breath stinging with alcohol.
"Where's my money? You owe me a debt and I want it now!"
"I told you, I don't have it! Now please, leave us alone!"
"Where is it?"
"I…I spent it all on the baby."
The grizzled leader rolled his eyes and threw up his hands.
"Rose. Rose. Why you doin' this to me? I had to ride three miles to get to this shithole! THREE MILES!"
A guy in the back put up five fingers instead of three. The guy next to him put the hand and had a look on his face that said, Don't do that again, retard.
"And now we see that you spent it all on your worthless, nigger baby!"
Her once frightened, shaking eyes sharpened with bravery.
"Don't say that about him!"
That spark of defiance was met with a quick slap to her soft cheek. The force splayed her on the ground, sending out snickers from the gang. No one went to help her.
The sheriff just stood by the doorway, locking lips with a gin bottle. This was the McLaughlin gang, and if you crossed them, you're dead.
"She a bad, bad missus," sang the retard, "in her skin tight…."
"Frank, shut up!"
It was bad enough that this girl annoyed him, but now his gang was doing it as well. He just wanted to rip out Frank's lungs and shove them….
He kicked her in the ribs just to make his point, and then swiftly whipped out his gun. He pointed it to the helpless child.
"NO!"
"Since you care about this crapbag more than you care about me, I'll just…"
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
He turned around to witness the source. He heart skipped two beats.