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Full Summary: When Jarvis tells him that "Mister Stark wishes to see you in his workshop" Phil is anything but amused. Yet after some arguing with an AI - really, he doesn't get paid enough for this - he finds himself at the lab. He tells himself it's because world-domination by Tony Stark is something that, according to director Fury, has a 38% chance of happening and he needs to be certain this isn't that 38%. He isn't curious. Not at all.

PURPLE TIE

"Agent Coulson, Mister Stark wishes to see you in his workshop."

The edge of Phil's lip twitches in annoyance at those words. He reminds himself yet again that Jarvis isn't the source of the evil that is Tony Stark, he is merely the messenger. It doesn't stop him from saying: "And I wish for a replacement for the Captain America cards the director ruined, but we can't always have what we want. Tell him to meet me in the living-room with the rest of the team."

"Of course, Agent."

When he gets to the top floor of the enormous, high-tech building that is Stark-tower-turned-Avengers-mansion, everyone sans Tony is there, waiting for him.

He greets everyone with a nod, drops his files onto a table and resists the urge to sigh. "Where is Stark?"

"He's at the lab." Steve provides with a small smile.

"Jarvis did you tell Stark he needs to be up here?"

"I did, Agent." Surely, AI's couldn't sound annoyed.

"Then why isn't he here?" He asks and fuck, he is arguing with an AI. It makes him wonder if the doctors are right in deeming him fit for field-work again.

"Mister Stark asks if you will come down first, Agent. So he can show you something."

Phil pinches the bridge of his nose – Clint smirks at the gesture, Natasha looks amused in a Natasha kind of way and Steve and Bruce just seem a bit nervous at the entire situation. "Let him know I still have a standing promise that involves a taser and Supernanny."

"With all due respect, Agent, to tase Mister Stark you would still have to go to the lab." Yes, Phil concludes, yes Jarvis definitely sounds smug.

Phil takes a small breath, debates with himself for a few moments before concluding he can hardly stay here and argue with Jarvis until Tony decides to take pity on him. He knows, though, he can't start this meeting without Stark's presence which means he has to do something he can only call dreadful. He has to actually give Tony I-am-Iron-Man Stark what he wants and go down to the lab.

Tony's lab is a mess and Phil wonders what kind of mess it is.

He hopes it's harmless. Although it's perhaps best to say he hopes it's a mess that turns out not to be lethal. Nothing is ever harmless when Tony Stark is involved. He hopes it's harmless, because if it's not the mess might indicate the genius is planning world-domination. World-domination by Tony Stark is something that, according to director Fury, has a 38% chance of happening and thus S.H.I.E.L.D. is preparing emergency-plans for the occasion.

"Stark, before I decide to harm you permanently with the help of my taser, it's best to –" Phil starts, but abruptly stops when Tony stands in front of him, squints at his chest before pushing his arms up. "What are you doing, Stark?" He asks, demands, tone dropping low and lethal.

"Keep them like that," Tony instructs before turning around to grab something from the bench he'd just been sitting at.

It's at that point that Phil remembers the piece of advice once yelled at him – ages ago – over the soccer-field before a soccer ball hit him in the head.

Think fast!

But fast isn't exactly what Phil has been the past months, so when Tony turns back to face him, he only has his taser raised and ready, instead of having floored Tony already. Damn his reflexes for not being as fast as they were before.

When he sees the taser, Tony's eyes widen and he raises the shield – or whatever – he's holding, putting it up as a barrier between the taser and him. "Hey, hey, I'm doing this for you, okay?" He says and waves his free hand to the taser. "So put that away and raise your arms so I can get this done."

Phil raises an eyebrow, still wondering what the heck it is that Tony wants to get done. But instead of arguing, he raises his arms obediently – he will, however, refuse to let go of the taser. It's kind of surreal and there is a part of him – a big part of him – that doesn't quite believe he is really doing what Tony Stark just ordered him to do. But he guesses it's better to oblige and get this crazy situation over with than argue so long he won't have time for his meeting.

Tony looks awfully smug at Phil listening to him. "Thank you, Agent." He says with a smirk. Then he presses the shield – which Phil now realizes looks a suspicious lot like a breast-plate – against Phil's chest. He squints at it, tells Jarvis to start recording and starts muttering about adjustments that need to be made to the breast-plate.

"Stark," Phil says with a small frown when Tony grabs a second plate, circles him and repeats the process against his back. "What are you trying to get done, exactly?" It's not a question, not really. It's a demand to know what's going on and Phil knows Tony is well aware of that.

At his back, Tony tuts at him. "A surprise, Coulson. A rather obvious yet genius one, if I do say so myself. But then again, it's my surprise so it figures it's genius."

Phil masks his panic expertly and asks: "I am not the kind of person that appreciates surprises, Stark."

Tony chuckles. "You'll love this one." He says and then moves back to the bench, putting the plate down.

"If it messes with my sanity, my health or even gives me one more page of paperwork to fill out, you will regret surprising me for the rest of your life." Phil knows he can't exactly demand Tony doesn't finish what he's making but at least he can threaten Tony.

"Aww, Coulson, can't you just accept I'm doing this because I love you and leave it at that?" Tony asks, trademark smirk on his lips.

Phil just raises his eyebrow.

The next day, Phil lets Fury know he thinks Stark is up to something.

Throughout the next few weeks, the craziness that is Tony Stark continues. Phil has to speak to Tony at his lab two more times during which more parts are being fitted to his body.

It's maddening how he can't figure out what's going on and infuriating how he allows the other to do what he does. But he is curious and he reasons that the closer he stays to the action, the easier it is to figure out exactly what is going on.

He's had a conversation with everyone in the house about what Tony is doing and not a single Avenger has so far been able to help him figure it out.

At one point the ridiculous thought that Tony could be building him a Iron Man suit crosses his mind. He discards it quickly, though. He can't imagine Tony Stark sharing the technology of the Iron Man suit with Phil, who is still very much representing S.H.I.E.L.D..

In short, not knowing what Tony Stark is up to and what consequences his surprise can have to both Phil's sanity and the world has him on edge. It is then that he decides that if he hasn't figured it out next week, he will hack into Jarvis' mainframe again. It's a surprise he hasn't already, anyway.

Being a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, Phil's sense of exactly when a situation is awkward is different from that of a regular person. Sharing a bed with your partner on an OP happens more often than not and undercover he can think of a number of times he's had to pretend to be in a heated romance with his partner – both women and men.

So when he has to undress in front of a partner to prepare for bed or at the hospital in front of a nurse, he never feels awkward because he's used to it.

Currently Tony Stark is kneeling in front of him, one hand pressed against his knee for stabilization and the other modifying something on the leg-plate – of sorts, he doesn't know what else to call it – currently wrapped around his left leg. That in combination with the fact that Tony's head is very, very close to bumping against his crotch definitely qualifies as an awkward situation.

A very awkward situation.

Certainly because Dummy is currently holding the plate, keeping it from slipping down his leg.

He's got a bad feeling about this and is seriously reconsidering the idea Tony might be building him a suit. What else would he need all these loose parts for if not for a suit? He is definitely going to hack into Jarvis when he leaves the lab today. He has to know what is going on, if only for his own peace of mind.

"Agent Coulson, may I advise you stay still." Jarvis suddenly speaks up. "You are making Dummy nervous and he has a tendency to get even more clumsy when nervous."

Phil stills, realizing he's been fidgeting while lost in thought. "Right," he says and for a moment considers apologizing. He resists the urge to sigh and wonders – not for the first time – why he is putting up with this.

"Yeah, you know what? Think about the color-scheme you want this beauty painted in when she's done." Tony says cheerfully, not pausing his work.

Phil blinks at those words. Color-scheme?

"Don't say black, though. That will be the most boring thing ever. Unless you do a combination of black and purple, that would be cool." Tony says and although Phil can't see it, he knows the other is smirking.

"Stark," Phil sighs although he can't help but be amused at the subtle hint the genius had slipped into their conversation. He'll have to let Clint know that Tony caught on.

Meanwhile, his mind is working a few miles a minute trying to put all pieces together and come up with a proper reaction to it all.

Tony pauses his work and looks up at Phil with a smirk on his lips. "I was thinking of making it look like the American flag. Very patriotic, which suits you and you'd look like your favorite super-hero as well."

"Stark," Phil starts and takes a breath when he catches Tony's smirk, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why, exactly, are you building me one of your suits?"

Tony snorts, stands up and gives Phil a look that indicates he should know the answer already. "You want to play with the big boys, Coulson. That's fine, but you don't have the tools to do that." He shrugs and gestures to the leg-plates Dummy is still holding firmly against Phil's thighs. "I'm providing you the tools."

Phil freezes for a second, taken by surprise. Here is Tony Stark, subtly telling him that he has been worried for Phil and wants him to be prepared next time something similar happens. It brings a small smile to his lips, thinking of how far the two of them have come since their first meeting.

Tony Stark worried about him. Who would've thought.

"I haven't even been cleared for field-work yet." He says in the end but he's very certain the other catches his softer, almost grateful tone.

Tony's lips quirk up in a small smile that softens his entire face before he grins. "Better safe than sorry, Agent." He says and clasps Phil's back before squatting and turning back to the leg-plates.

"You are not making me some sort of super-suit, Stark." Phil says. "Not only is it anything but subtle in the field, I can hardly do my job in such a restricted suit whether it's there to protect me or not."

Tony blinks and frowns for a moment. "I'll think of something." He says and gets back to work.

Phil just groans and rolls his eyes at the ceiling.

In the end, Tony ends up making Phil two suits.

One of the suits is strong with hidden weapons and – or so Tony says – can even take a bullet. Both the jacket and pants are black, made of strong material and has been completely modified to do things S.H.I.E.L.D. R&D personnel has wet dreams about. He's got a white button-up to go with it that, according to Tony, can do a lot of things he'll find out in time – Phil hasn't got a clue what Tony did to it but he's not going to ask, he likes the thrill of finding it out on his own. His shoes are a piece of art with hidden weapons everywhere. But what he likes his most is the tie Tony custom-ordered to go with the outfit. It's not modified, doesn't do anything specific. It's merely a deep-purple tie that Phil wears on special occasions.

The other suit is what many will call a work of art. It is a Iron Man suit painted in the same colors as Captain America's uniform. The suit stands proud in a glass case in Phil's study.

It's his most treasured collectors-item.

THE END