Disclaimer: I don't own Newsies (Disney does) or the song "The Reason" (Hoobastank does).
A/N: I hope you like it. It's slash, so if you don't like it, don't read it.
The Reason
I looked down at the old dried scars on my forearms. I had always thought that they would make me look though, that they demanded respect. Because who wouldn't respect a guy with scares right?
I'm not a perfect person. there are many things I wish I didn't do
but I continue learning. I never meant to do those things to you.
and so I have to say before I go, that I just want you to know
But I guess that it had never stuck me that my cutting myself affected more than just me. I guess that I was kind of selfish to think that it did. I still remember the tears in his eyes as he explained to me that I needed to stop. I was so angry that I hardly listened. But then he said the magic words. "Dutchy, I love you, please stop."
I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you
We kissed for the first time after that, it was like magic. Specs and Dutchy. Dutchy and Specs. It just seemed so right. I loved him so much, and I would've done anything if it meant he'd never have to cry again. But it seemed that all I did was cause him more tears...
I'm sorry that I hurt you, its something I must live with everyday
and all the pain I put you through, I wish that I could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears, that's why I need you to hear
The first couple weeks it was easy not to cut, because you were always their, holding my hand, smiling, kissing me, making me know that it didn't matter what other people think. For the first time in my life, I was loved.
I'm not a perfect person, I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go that I just want you to know
But then came that awful bloody Tuesday. I was being slow selling, because you were sick, and I thought I could get away with cutting, just one more time. But it didn't seem to feel good anymore. It just hurt. I ran back to the Lodging House to see the bulls by the doors, they wouldn't let me in, all they would say was that a kid was murdered. I looked around to see all the other newsboys, besides you. I prayed that it wasn't you, but of course it had to be.
I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you.
I stopped cutting for good that day. But that wasn't the thing that hurt the most. I had lost the one I loved. I was in tears for the longest time. Jack made me go to the trail, he said that it would help you find peace. They asked the guy why he killed you. But all he said was, "He wasn't normal. Queers don't deserve to live." That's when it hit me, you had died because of me.
I've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know
a reason for all that I do, and the reason is you.
So, I guess that now I have no choice but to live. But not for me anymore. But for you. Because you died for me. So I needed to live so that I could see you again. You became my guiding light, my reason to live. And for that, I shall always love you, my poor Specs.
A/N: Please review and let me know what you think of it.
A/N: I hope you like it. It's slash, so if you don't like it, don't read it.
The Reason
I looked down at the old dried scars on my forearms. I had always thought that they would make me look though, that they demanded respect. Because who wouldn't respect a guy with scares right?
I'm not a perfect person. there are many things I wish I didn't do
but I continue learning. I never meant to do those things to you.
and so I have to say before I go, that I just want you to know
But I guess that it had never stuck me that my cutting myself affected more than just me. I guess that I was kind of selfish to think that it did. I still remember the tears in his eyes as he explained to me that I needed to stop. I was so angry that I hardly listened. But then he said the magic words. "Dutchy, I love you, please stop."
I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you
We kissed for the first time after that, it was like magic. Specs and Dutchy. Dutchy and Specs. It just seemed so right. I loved him so much, and I would've done anything if it meant he'd never have to cry again. But it seemed that all I did was cause him more tears...
I'm sorry that I hurt you, its something I must live with everyday
and all the pain I put you through, I wish that I could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears, that's why I need you to hear
The first couple weeks it was easy not to cut, because you were always their, holding my hand, smiling, kissing me, making me know that it didn't matter what other people think. For the first time in my life, I was loved.
I'm not a perfect person, I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go that I just want you to know
But then came that awful bloody Tuesday. I was being slow selling, because you were sick, and I thought I could get away with cutting, just one more time. But it didn't seem to feel good anymore. It just hurt. I ran back to the Lodging House to see the bulls by the doors, they wouldn't let me in, all they would say was that a kid was murdered. I looked around to see all the other newsboys, besides you. I prayed that it wasn't you, but of course it had to be.
I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you.
I stopped cutting for good that day. But that wasn't the thing that hurt the most. I had lost the one I loved. I was in tears for the longest time. Jack made me go to the trail, he said that it would help you find peace. They asked the guy why he killed you. But all he said was, "He wasn't normal. Queers don't deserve to live." That's when it hit me, you had died because of me.
I've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know
a reason for all that I do, and the reason is you.
So, I guess that now I have no choice but to live. But not for me anymore. But for you. Because you died for me. So I needed to live so that I could see you again. You became my guiding light, my reason to live. And for that, I shall always love you, my poor Specs.
A/N: Please review and let me know what you think of it.