ShiShi SonSon

He what?

He fucking what?

He left?

Sanji is many things. Moron is one of them. Traitor is not. So why did Zoro feel so betrayed by the shitty cook?

Because.

Because was it that easy to leave… the crew? Was this child's play to him? This whole adventure thing? Was this just adventure to him? What could be heavier than the years they've all spent together, risking their lives for each other's sake and whatnot? Was it really that easy to leave everything behind?

He should be having flashbacks of Usopp leaving the crew, but he isn't. Instead, he's recalling Thriller Bark. He can hear Luffy shouting something but he can't make out the words. Maybe it's because his mind's busy repeating other words.

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to find another cook."

Perhaps it's because of some sort of trauma from Thriller Bark that Zoro suddenly feels pain. Not the unbearable kind, but it's pain nonetheless. It's like there are needles stabbing the soles of his feet, like his joints are being pulled apart, like his heart is pounding too loudly that he's deaf and pounding too hard that it's pushing his lungs towards his throat so that it's complicated to breathe. He can smell the ruins of Thriller Bark like it's happening again but the only thing that's vivid is the cook. Zoro's not sure if he can properly remember Bartholomew Kuma right now because the images in his head keep on skipping to the part where he knocks Sanji out to keep him from saying or doing any more stupid shit.

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to find another cook."

That again. What the hell, brain? Sanji said he's coming back. He told Nami and the others. He wrote it in the note. But, fuck. Find another cook is what keeps echoing in Zoro's head and that's just stupid.

It's like Sanji thinks that by some sort of miracle or twist of fate, there's some other him out there. Like there's some other blonde cook who knows how to feed Luffy's monstrous appetite. Like there's some other shitface with flaming kicks. Like there's some other asshole who spurts as much blood as he does at the sight of pretty females. Like there's some other moron who can make Zoro go all out for the most irrelevant shit like commenting on his green hair. Like there's some other idiot in over his head who thinks he can actually stand up to him, the man who's going to be the world's greatest swordsman. Like there's some other asshole who's willing to sacrifice his life so that Zoro wouldn't have to die for the captain because "what happened to his ambition".

Like there's someone else who can take his place.

What an absurd fucking idea! How dare he even think of thinking that thoughtless thought, that dumb fuck!

There isn't anyone with legs that can walk on sky and water. There isn't anyone else with hands as skilled with a knife as he does, so much so that Zoro thinks he could actually use a sword with aptitude if he just wanted to or tried. There isn't anyone out there that has the same smell of cigarettes and mint and wine with so much of his own scent and barely a hint of sweat. There isn't anyone else who has the same posture as he does when he leans on the railing of the Sunny, the sun highlighting his face in a way that reminds Zoro of dancing fire. There isn't anyone out there who can make the same humming sound as he does in the wee hours of the morning when he's up and about to make meals for everyone.

There wasn't. There isn't. There won't be.

It's a god damn shame Zoro wasn't at Zou to knock the bastard out of his mind as soon as he decided that "this is his own problem". Fuck you, Sanji. Fuck you. Zoro would have lodged the hilts of all three of his swords into that blundering shit's midsection if that meant knocking some sense into his ero-brain. Zoro wouldn't have let him leave. At least not alone. Not one part of Sanji was going to stay in that castle without Zoro. There was no way anyone would have convinced Zoro to go anywhere without the cook in tow. He's the cook. He's Sanji. He's needed. He can't go. Zoro would drag him if he had to. Slap him senseless. Knock him out. Hold him tight.

The last thought doesn't register properly as the clinking of the swords on his hip snap Zoro back to attention and his hand automatically moves to hold them down. It's when he closes his eyes and breathes deeply that he feels his clenched jaw and stiff shoulders.

There's still the rest of the story to hear.

Calm down.

AN: Honestly, this Zoro-version of "Downward Spiral" didn't cross my mind but Nara Kimidare mentioned it in the review section and it felt like something I had to do.