Private Bet #11: A Twist and a Knot in the Tale
(a.k.a What The Heck Was The Author Thinking When He Came Up With This One???)
By Shade
Disclaimer: Way too many series from
other people used in here. I suggest a strong
drink before reading this. You'll need it.
~~~~~~~
Part 1: Your Sanity Or Your Life
~~~~~~~
From the now fixed dimensional
portal a new figure stepped out.
Death perched on his shoulder, a living jewel
that watched the others there with cold unblinking
eyes.
The Bard and several of the non-immortals quickly
got some distance between themselves and
the newcomer. They might possess powers greater
then most mortals but even they were vulnerable to
certain nasties. An Alaspin Minidragon was one of them.
Although more of a winged snake then a true Dragon
the Minidragon possessed one feature that made its
reputation even more well known and feared then even
the mightiest Red or Chiang Ku.
Like a certain type of terran cobra the Minidrag could
spit a thin stream of corrosive toxin from its mouth, the
venom sacs were so powerful in fact that it had an effective
range of over twenty feet and enough accuracy to hit the
pupils of a victim's eyes at fifteen.
A person hit in the eyes by cobra venom would
be temporarily blinded for a few minutes. Anything
less then a Titan hit in the eyes by an Alaspin Minidragon
venom would be dead in about sixty seconds.
The winged serpent's venom contained over two
thousand identified neurotoxins as well as possessing
a corrosive agent capable of eating through starcruiser armor
like it was jello. There was no antidote for it, once it
entered your bloodstream you were good as dead. If the
venom hit anyplace else besides the eyes a victim might
live for as long as five minutes before the poison finally
killed them. It wasn't a pretty sight, and even worse,
the snakes were excellent shots.
"Hi Flinx. I see you brought Pip."
"Nice to see you too, Shadow. Am I late?"
"Nah, you're just in time to make your bet."
"Great."
There was a long moment of silence.
"YOU know this guy???" The Guardian demanded,
this was news to him.
"I do a little D-hopping from time to time. Ran into
him at a cozy little planet called Moth. Figured what
the heck, why not invite him."
"You...are nuts."
As the two fell into an age old argument the mysterious
Flinx studied the pool. Then a grin, a rock and a toss later
and the next Private Bet entry was started.
Rowan took one look at the change made and sighed.
"You have GOT to be kidding me."
Flinx shrugged sheepishly.
"What can I say, I always wanted a big family
back when I was a kid. Besides, being an only
child is part of the reason *why* he's got so
many problems in the first place."
~~~~~~~~~
-_-'
The miracle of life is a wonderful thing.
Of course too much of a good thing is almost
as bad as not having it at all.
Let it just be recorded that certain couples
in Asia experienced a brief period of extreme
fertility...
It should also be noted that the men in those
relationships required several trips to the hospital
in order to be treated for *severe* exhaustion.
~~~~~~
-Nermia, Japan: 17 years later (give or take a few months)
"COME BACK AND DIE OLD MAN!!!"
As a light autumn storm showered the neighborhood a handsome
young man with a ponytail who also happend to bear a striking
resemblence to a pretty girl chased after his archnemesis,
the bane of his existence, his father.
Said person was currently an Abominable Snowman.
But if the gleaming blade of the fancy lightsaber being
wielded by the youth was any indication if that young
man caught him he'd be an ex-Sasquatch.
As the bystanders blinked and their brains struggled to
process this impossible visual data three more figures
came running down the street.
"Big brother! Wait up!"
"Ranma!! Wait for Nuku-Nuku!!"
"Meow! Meow! Meow!!" Slow down!!
~~~~~~~~~
-It is Fate!
A very haggard Soun Tendo greeted the day's mail.
A giant smile with a hint of relief lit his face
as soon as he finished reading the postcard.
At last, they had come. Soon he'd finally be
free from the burden that weighed so heavily upon him.
Now all he had to do was call all of his daughters.
Soun grimaced. This could take awhile.
~~~~~~~~
The kitchen was his first stop.
"Tsunami! Kasumi!! Belldandy!! Mutsumi!!"
"Yes Father?" Four heads looked
back from where the girls were
cooking.
It was almost eerie how alike his eldest
daughters' responses were.
He still wondered about the
aqua-blue hair color sometimes.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Nanami! Nabiki!! Mitsune!!!"
"Here."
A hand stuck up from the couch.
Mitsune was watching the horse races again.
"Mmm?" Nabiki bit down into her cracker
as she looked up from browsing a fashion
magazine.
"I'm busy selling lunches, dad!" A voice
shouted from outside.
~~~~~~~~
"Akane! Motoko! Lina!"
Silence.
"Where are those girls anyway???"
"Did you try the Dojo daddy?" Nabiki asked
in passing as she walked into the living room.
~~~~~~~~
"Kyyaa!!"
*BOOM*
"I hate BOYS!!!"
*SMASH*POUND*DESTROY*
"FIREBALL!!!"
*Major Owwie Time*
The battlecries of Soun's youngest daughters
shook the old wooden walls of the Tendo Dojo
as they proceeded to demolish enough construction
materials to build a goodsized skyscraper.
Akane gave satisfied sigh as she vented her built
up frustration. She always felt better after breaking
something.
Standing next to her was a ponytailed girl with
a better then average bust and a red haired girl
with a modest chest. All three were wearing well
used gis as they practiced their various combat styles.
But the redhead had wisps of smoke
curling up from her slightly sizzled hair.
The rest of her wasn't in much better condition.
"How many times have we told you Lina?! No magic in the Dojo!!"
~~~~~~
It was a rare peaceful moment in Nermia.
"FIANCEE??!!"
The Tendo house jumped a foot off the ground
from the sheer power of the girls' outcry.
It was a very short lived peaceful moment.
~~~~~~
"Get back here! I'm going to thank you for
dragging me and Mayuka off to China!! Then
I'm going show my appreciation for engaging
us to a bunch of people WE HAVE NEVER
EVEN MET BEFORE!!!"
The giant white ball of fur skidded to
a halt and turned around with an angry
gleam in its red eyes.
"Feh, your move old man."
Ranma dropped into a guard position.
The main drawback of his cursed form
was that it was worse then useless for
the Anything Goes Martial Arts style.
It was too weak, too slow, and the
balance was all wrong. But Saotome had
soon discovered that it wasn't totally
defenseless. He seemed to instinctively
know how to use this strange light sword
that kept popping up in his hands.
It was good enough to beat most normal opponents.
But Genma's cursed form was about as
abnormal as they come. Especially when
its main special attack was a enormous beam
of pure cold that froze everything in
its path.
Ranma's eyes widened in horror.
"Me and my big mouth..."
*FWOOOSH*
Instant Ranma-sicle.
Satisified that he had incompacitated his son
for the moment Abominable Genma grabbed the
block of ice with his son in it and made his
way toward the Tendo Dojo.
A few minutes later Mayuka Saotome picked
up her brother's empty sword hilt and followed.
~~~~~~~~
"Father, you didn't?!"
"Is he cute?"
"Oh my!"
"Ara ara..."
"Is he rich?"
"Is he at least intelligent enough to
carry on a decent conversation with?"
"Is he cute?"
"Is he rich?"
"Who cares about guys anyway?"
"Never! Men are weaklings!!"
"When's dinner?"
"Is he cute?"
The room exploded into disordered chatter
as the gathered Tendo daughters bombarded
their poor father with questions.
"Well Father? Exactly what kind of guy is this Ranma?"
The majority of the girls asked, with the exception of
Akane who wasn't interested, Motoko who disliked all males
on principle and Lina who was still hungry.
"I haven't the slightest clue actually."
The sensible daughters facefaulted. The daughters possessing
an inpenetrable aura of niceness just sighed and sweatdropped
as their beloved but sorely lacking in wits parental unit
demonstrated yet again that all of their good traits must
have been inherited from their mother's side of the family.
The rest hadn't been paying attention as a
new ominous noise caught their attention.
Lina and Akane smiled grimly and cracked
their knuckles in eerie unison. Finally,
something to do besides just waiting
around for a stupid fiancee!
~~~~~~
"Wai! Ranma-kun looks so silly!!"
*Poke*Poke*
Nuku Nuku giggled as she
tapped a finger against the ice
covering Ranma's face.
This was fun!
She decided to draw some
whiskers and pointy ears on the
block of ice to make him look
more like a cat. He was her pet
after all, even if she looked
like a silly human-person
right now.
She hoped that the house ahead
had some hot water. Walking on
two legs got tiring after awhile,
although there were *other* benefits
to having a human form now.
Now if they could only do something
about that smelly fat Genma-furball...
~~~~~~~~
-Is that subtle hint?
Destiny took one look at Nermia
and started running for the hills.
(To be continued?)
*$*$*$*$*$*
-Author's Notes
So far:
-Tendos
Tsunami (TM), Kasumi, Belldandy (OMG), Mutsumi (LH): The nice ones.
Nanami (EH), Nabiki, Mitsune (LH: The smart ones.
Akane, Motoko (LH), Lina (Slayers): The dangerous ones.
-Saotomes & Co.
Genma Saotome: cursed form; Sasquatch (DS)
-Ranma Saotome: cursed form; Tenkotochi
(Fell into the Spring of Drowned Main Characters
Who Are Doomed To Always Have Too Many
Women After Them: Keiitchi, Makoto, Akito, Tenchi...)
-Mayuka Saotome(TM:MNE): cursed form: Strange Young Woman
who can walk through walls, blow things up, and even fly.
(Spring of Drowned Ryoko)
Felicia (DS); Darkstalker who pretends to be a normal cat
with a Jusenkyo curse; Mayuka's pet.
Nuku Nuku; cursed form: Teenage Girl with Unbelievable
Superhuman Abilities (Spring of Drowned A-ko); Ranma's pet.
Ranma's Older Sisters: ???
-Assorted Amazon sisters of Shampoo (who *also* lost to Ranma)
Shayla Shayla (EH)
Mihoshi: cursed form; Kiyone (A whole new twist to the MihoKiyo duo!)
Rei (NGE) as Vanilla
Hotaru (SM)
-Everybody Else
Jinnai Kuno (EH), Shutaro Kuno (UY), Tatewaki Kuno (Triplets)
Naga Kuno(Slayers), Ayeka Kuno (TM), Kodachi Kuno (Triplets yet again)
(The Universe shudders.)
Proving once again that you don't have to be crazy to write fanfiction...
But it helps. -_^
-Shade
(a.k.a What The Heck Was The Author Thinking When He Came Up With This One???)
By Shade
Disclaimer: Way too many series from
other people used in here. I suggest a strong
drink before reading this. You'll need it.
~~~~~~~
Part 1: Your Sanity Or Your Life
~~~~~~~
From the now fixed dimensional
portal a new figure stepped out.
Death perched on his shoulder, a living jewel
that watched the others there with cold unblinking
eyes.
The Bard and several of the non-immortals quickly
got some distance between themselves and
the newcomer. They might possess powers greater
then most mortals but even they were vulnerable to
certain nasties. An Alaspin Minidragon was one of them.
Although more of a winged snake then a true Dragon
the Minidragon possessed one feature that made its
reputation even more well known and feared then even
the mightiest Red or Chiang Ku.
Like a certain type of terran cobra the Minidrag could
spit a thin stream of corrosive toxin from its mouth, the
venom sacs were so powerful in fact that it had an effective
range of over twenty feet and enough accuracy to hit the
pupils of a victim's eyes at fifteen.
A person hit in the eyes by cobra venom would
be temporarily blinded for a few minutes. Anything
less then a Titan hit in the eyes by an Alaspin Minidragon
venom would be dead in about sixty seconds.
The winged serpent's venom contained over two
thousand identified neurotoxins as well as possessing
a corrosive agent capable of eating through starcruiser armor
like it was jello. There was no antidote for it, once it
entered your bloodstream you were good as dead. If the
venom hit anyplace else besides the eyes a victim might
live for as long as five minutes before the poison finally
killed them. It wasn't a pretty sight, and even worse,
the snakes were excellent shots.
"Hi Flinx. I see you brought Pip."
"Nice to see you too, Shadow. Am I late?"
"Nah, you're just in time to make your bet."
"Great."
There was a long moment of silence.
"YOU know this guy???" The Guardian demanded,
this was news to him.
"I do a little D-hopping from time to time. Ran into
him at a cozy little planet called Moth. Figured what
the heck, why not invite him."
"You...are nuts."
As the two fell into an age old argument the mysterious
Flinx studied the pool. Then a grin, a rock and a toss later
and the next Private Bet entry was started.
Rowan took one look at the change made and sighed.
"You have GOT to be kidding me."
Flinx shrugged sheepishly.
"What can I say, I always wanted a big family
back when I was a kid. Besides, being an only
child is part of the reason *why* he's got so
many problems in the first place."
~~~~~~~~~
-_-'
The miracle of life is a wonderful thing.
Of course too much of a good thing is almost
as bad as not having it at all.
Let it just be recorded that certain couples
in Asia experienced a brief period of extreme
fertility...
It should also be noted that the men in those
relationships required several trips to the hospital
in order to be treated for *severe* exhaustion.
~~~~~~
-Nermia, Japan: 17 years later (give or take a few months)
"COME BACK AND DIE OLD MAN!!!"
As a light autumn storm showered the neighborhood a handsome
young man with a ponytail who also happend to bear a striking
resemblence to a pretty girl chased after his archnemesis,
the bane of his existence, his father.
Said person was currently an Abominable Snowman.
But if the gleaming blade of the fancy lightsaber being
wielded by the youth was any indication if that young
man caught him he'd be an ex-Sasquatch.
As the bystanders blinked and their brains struggled to
process this impossible visual data three more figures
came running down the street.
"Big brother! Wait up!"
"Ranma!! Wait for Nuku-Nuku!!"
"Meow! Meow! Meow!!" Slow down!!
~~~~~~~~~
-It is Fate!
A very haggard Soun Tendo greeted the day's mail.
A giant smile with a hint of relief lit his face
as soon as he finished reading the postcard.
At last, they had come. Soon he'd finally be
free from the burden that weighed so heavily upon him.
Now all he had to do was call all of his daughters.
Soun grimaced. This could take awhile.
~~~~~~~~
The kitchen was his first stop.
"Tsunami! Kasumi!! Belldandy!! Mutsumi!!"
"Yes Father?" Four heads looked
back from where the girls were
cooking.
It was almost eerie how alike his eldest
daughters' responses were.
He still wondered about the
aqua-blue hair color sometimes.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Nanami! Nabiki!! Mitsune!!!"
"Here."
A hand stuck up from the couch.
Mitsune was watching the horse races again.
"Mmm?" Nabiki bit down into her cracker
as she looked up from browsing a fashion
magazine.
"I'm busy selling lunches, dad!" A voice
shouted from outside.
~~~~~~~~
"Akane! Motoko! Lina!"
Silence.
"Where are those girls anyway???"
"Did you try the Dojo daddy?" Nabiki asked
in passing as she walked into the living room.
~~~~~~~~
"Kyyaa!!"
*BOOM*
"I hate BOYS!!!"
*SMASH*POUND*DESTROY*
"FIREBALL!!!"
*Major Owwie Time*
The battlecries of Soun's youngest daughters
shook the old wooden walls of the Tendo Dojo
as they proceeded to demolish enough construction
materials to build a goodsized skyscraper.
Akane gave satisfied sigh as she vented her built
up frustration. She always felt better after breaking
something.
Standing next to her was a ponytailed girl with
a better then average bust and a red haired girl
with a modest chest. All three were wearing well
used gis as they practiced their various combat styles.
But the redhead had wisps of smoke
curling up from her slightly sizzled hair.
The rest of her wasn't in much better condition.
"How many times have we told you Lina?! No magic in the Dojo!!"
~~~~~~
It was a rare peaceful moment in Nermia.
"FIANCEE??!!"
The Tendo house jumped a foot off the ground
from the sheer power of the girls' outcry.
It was a very short lived peaceful moment.
~~~~~~
"Get back here! I'm going to thank you for
dragging me and Mayuka off to China!! Then
I'm going show my appreciation for engaging
us to a bunch of people WE HAVE NEVER
EVEN MET BEFORE!!!"
The giant white ball of fur skidded to
a halt and turned around with an angry
gleam in its red eyes.
"Feh, your move old man."
Ranma dropped into a guard position.
The main drawback of his cursed form
was that it was worse then useless for
the Anything Goes Martial Arts style.
It was too weak, too slow, and the
balance was all wrong. But Saotome had
soon discovered that it wasn't totally
defenseless. He seemed to instinctively
know how to use this strange light sword
that kept popping up in his hands.
It was good enough to beat most normal opponents.
But Genma's cursed form was about as
abnormal as they come. Especially when
its main special attack was a enormous beam
of pure cold that froze everything in
its path.
Ranma's eyes widened in horror.
"Me and my big mouth..."
*FWOOOSH*
Instant Ranma-sicle.
Satisified that he had incompacitated his son
for the moment Abominable Genma grabbed the
block of ice with his son in it and made his
way toward the Tendo Dojo.
A few minutes later Mayuka Saotome picked
up her brother's empty sword hilt and followed.
~~~~~~~~
"Father, you didn't?!"
"Is he cute?"
"Oh my!"
"Ara ara..."
"Is he rich?"
"Is he at least intelligent enough to
carry on a decent conversation with?"
"Is he cute?"
"Is he rich?"
"Who cares about guys anyway?"
"Never! Men are weaklings!!"
"When's dinner?"
"Is he cute?"
The room exploded into disordered chatter
as the gathered Tendo daughters bombarded
their poor father with questions.
"Well Father? Exactly what kind of guy is this Ranma?"
The majority of the girls asked, with the exception of
Akane who wasn't interested, Motoko who disliked all males
on principle and Lina who was still hungry.
"I haven't the slightest clue actually."
The sensible daughters facefaulted. The daughters possessing
an inpenetrable aura of niceness just sighed and sweatdropped
as their beloved but sorely lacking in wits parental unit
demonstrated yet again that all of their good traits must
have been inherited from their mother's side of the family.
The rest hadn't been paying attention as a
new ominous noise caught their attention.
Lina and Akane smiled grimly and cracked
their knuckles in eerie unison. Finally,
something to do besides just waiting
around for a stupid fiancee!
~~~~~~
"Wai! Ranma-kun looks so silly!!"
*Poke*Poke*
Nuku Nuku giggled as she
tapped a finger against the ice
covering Ranma's face.
This was fun!
She decided to draw some
whiskers and pointy ears on the
block of ice to make him look
more like a cat. He was her pet
after all, even if she looked
like a silly human-person
right now.
She hoped that the house ahead
had some hot water. Walking on
two legs got tiring after awhile,
although there were *other* benefits
to having a human form now.
Now if they could only do something
about that smelly fat Genma-furball...
~~~~~~~~
-Is that subtle hint?
Destiny took one look at Nermia
and started running for the hills.
(To be continued?)
*$*$*$*$*$*
-Author's Notes
So far:
-Tendos
Tsunami (TM), Kasumi, Belldandy (OMG), Mutsumi (LH): The nice ones.
Nanami (EH), Nabiki, Mitsune (LH: The smart ones.
Akane, Motoko (LH), Lina (Slayers): The dangerous ones.
-Saotomes & Co.
Genma Saotome: cursed form; Sasquatch (DS)
-Ranma Saotome: cursed form; Tenkotochi
(Fell into the Spring of Drowned Main Characters
Who Are Doomed To Always Have Too Many
Women After Them: Keiitchi, Makoto, Akito, Tenchi...)
-Mayuka Saotome(TM:MNE): cursed form: Strange Young Woman
who can walk through walls, blow things up, and even fly.
(Spring of Drowned Ryoko)
Felicia (DS); Darkstalker who pretends to be a normal cat
with a Jusenkyo curse; Mayuka's pet.
Nuku Nuku; cursed form: Teenage Girl with Unbelievable
Superhuman Abilities (Spring of Drowned A-ko); Ranma's pet.
Ranma's Older Sisters: ???
-Assorted Amazon sisters of Shampoo (who *also* lost to Ranma)
Shayla Shayla (EH)
Mihoshi: cursed form; Kiyone (A whole new twist to the MihoKiyo duo!)
Rei (NGE) as Vanilla
Hotaru (SM)
-Everybody Else
Jinnai Kuno (EH), Shutaro Kuno (UY), Tatewaki Kuno (Triplets)
Naga Kuno(Slayers), Ayeka Kuno (TM), Kodachi Kuno (Triplets yet again)
(The Universe shudders.)
Proving once again that you don't have to be crazy to write fanfiction...
But it helps. -_^
-Shade