Title: Forbidden Love
Pairing: Kat/Lilly
Spoilers: Season 3
Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing
Summary: Kat has fallen in love with Lilly. Mucho angst. Kat's POV
a/n: Lilly is straight and Kat is gay in this fic.

"Lilly," I whisper to myself. Her name rolls of my tongue so smoothly. The beauty of the name lingers in the air for a few moments. Beautiful. That's what Lilly is. She is graceful, elegant, beautiful, everything I'd want.

But she's straight.

And that hurts. A lot. My feelings for her, they're so strong. It is neither her fault nor mine that nothing can ever happen between us. Yet it hurts so much to know my feelings will never be returned.

I feel a huge weight in my chest as I think of this forbidden love. I rise from the couch and sit at my desk. I take out a small piece of notepaper and a pen, and begin writing.

Dear Lilly,

I'm not exactly sure how to tell you this, but I love you. A lot.

I know that our relationship can never go past the point it's at now. But I love you despite that. I have very strong feelings for you.

I don't know why it's you I fell in love with, but it happened. You are one of the best humans I've had the honor and privilege of knowing. Everything about you, I love.

I know this may sound a little strange, as we've known each other for only a short time, but I can't change my feelings about you.

I love you, Lilly.

Love,
Kat

I reread my letter, my eyes tearing as I think of how impossible it is to put my feelings into words.

I fold the letter and place it carefully in an envelope. I write Lilly's name and the date on the outside and seal it tight.

I go into my bedroom and open the top drawer of my dresser. I lay the newly-sealed envelope onto the top of a stack of identical envelopes, each one containing letters to Lilly that she'll never read.

I close the drawer and fall back onto my bed. I hold my head in my hands as I cry.

If only she knew how much it hurt me to know she wa sin a relationship with a man. She had given me a small glimmer of hope, something to hold on to, when she acted like she never wanted to see him again. I watched from the window as she climbed on the back of the motorcycle and wrapped her arms around his waist. It felt as if she had ripped my heart right out of my chest.

It just feels like there's a hole in my chest, something missing.

I'd love to just wrap her in my arms, hold her close. Just to feel her body against mine, to allow us to become one, even for just a moment.

But eventually, I'd have to let go. I'd have to let her take my heart with her.

I curl into a ball on my bed and hug my knees close to my chest, muffling my sobs and soaking my pants with my tears in the process.

There's so much pain in this forbidden love.

The End